I don't own the show "Deadliest Warrior" or any of the characters fighting in it.
AN: Yes, I'm aware that The Suppression Squad dosen't use any of these weapons.
Narrator: The Toon Patrol; Judge Doom's vicsious toon-hunting gang.
(The screen shows a group of weasels gunning down a group of cartoon caracters.)
Narrator: The Suppression Squad; The power-hungry gang with the goal of world domination.
(The screen then shows a green hedgehog, yellow coyote, purple walrus, and two foxes planning out an invasion.)
Narrator: WHO...IS...DEADLIEST? To find out, our world-class fighters are testing the two warrior's most devestating weapons. Using 21st century science, we'll see what happens when the two go toe-to-toe. No rules, no safety, no mercy: It's a duel to the death, all to see just who is...THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR!
We once again enter the fight club.
Narrator: Here at the fight club, the host has brought together experts on/enemies of the two gangs to see who would win between...The Toon Patrol...
Toon Patrol's Stats:
First appearance: Who Framed Roger Rabbit? (1998)
Goal: Catch and 'dip' Roger Rabbit.
Team Players: Wise Guy, Physco, Stupid, Greasy, and Wheezy
Loyaty: Judge Doom
Narrator: And The Suppression Squad.
Suppression Squad's Stats:
First appearance: Sonic The Comic #24 (1995)
Goal: Domination of the Prime World.
Team Players: Scourge The Hedgehog, Fiona Fox, Patch D. Coolette, Boomer Walrus, and Miles Prower
Loyalty: Scourge (formaly); Miles (Curently)
Narrator: Both teams belive their enemies will crush the other.
Team Toon Patrol will be represented by Eddie Valient and Jessica Rabbit.
"Those weasels maybe idiots- Heck, they are!-, but they've been fightin' alot longer then those other animals have." Valient said, holding up one of the Patrol's weapons.
"When this is over, the weasels will be having a few new trophies on their hands." Jessica quipped.
Team Suppression Squad will be represented by Sonic The Hedgehog and former Squad member, Bunns Rabbot/Anti-Bunnie.
"The reason the weasels are going to lose is because they're bringing old weapons to this battle." Sonic said.
"As a former member myself, I knew what the Squad's capable of." Bunns said, then added, "The minute this fight starts, the Squad will be on them like ugly on an ape!"
Narrator: Both teams have brought the two gangs most deadly weapons.
Toon Patrol's weapons:
Long range- Tommy Gun
Mid range- Sawed-off Shotgun
Close range- Ice Pick
Special weapon- Toon Bomb
Explosive weapon: Pineapple Bomb
Suppression Squad's weapons:
Long range- AK-47 Assault Rifle
Mid range- LPO-50 Flamethrower
Close range- Stilleto Knife
Special weapon: Twin Hooks
Explosive weapons: F1 Grenade
Narrator: First up is long range weapons. Both teams bring old friends of Deadliest Warrior...The Toon Patrol's Tommy Gun and Suppression Squad's AK-47.
Eddie heads out into the firing range with the tommy gun and aims at five targets made to look like The Suppression Squad. He fires the gun and showers the targets with bullets, some mostly going through the chest area of four of the targets and causing a mortal wound in the fifth.
Next, Sonic steps out with an AK-47 and fires at five targets made to look like The Toon Patrol. He fires one at a time at each one, getting the face, chest, and stomach of all five targets.
Narrator: The tommy gun was faster then the AK-47, but not as accurate. And while the tommy has greater fire power, the AK has longer range. Due to it's accuracy and longer range, the AK-47 gets the edge.
Edge: Suppression Squad
Narrator: Next up is mid range. Team Toon Patrol bring...The Sawed-off Shotgun.
Jessica steps out into the firing range with the sawed-off shotgun and takes aim at five targets made to look like The Suppression Squad. She fires five shots at the targets in different locations: the neck in the first target, the chest in the second, the stomach in the third and fourth, and in between the eyes of the fifth.
Narrator: Team Suppression Squad is unimpressed as they answer back with...The LPO-50 Flamethrower.
Bunns steps out into the firing range with the LPO-50 strapped to her back and aims at five targets made to look like The Toon Patrol. She fires and a jet of flame comes out and engulfs the targets in flames, turning them into nothing but ashes.
Narrator: While the sawed-off shotgun had longer range, the flamethrower gets the edge for the physcological factor it brings.
Edge: Suppression Squad
Narrator: Next up is close range. Team Toon Patrol brings...The Ice Pick.
Eddie steps up to a gel torso with the ice pick and stabs it in the chest, neck, and stomach. He then jabs the torso in the face with the pick right between the eyes.
Narrator: Team Suppression Squad is unmoved as they come with...The Stilleto Knife.
Sonic steps up to another gel torso with the stilleto and acctivates the blade. He slashes the face and neck of the torso, then stabs it in the torso's chest.
Narrator: Both weapons were equally as deadly, but the stilleto had brought a suprise factor. Also, whereas the ice pick can only stab, the stilleto can stab AND slash, giving it the edge.
Edge: Suppression Squad
Narrator: Now we move on to special weapons. Team Toon Patrol bring...The Toon Bomb.
Jessica places a bomb near five targets made to look like The Suppression Squad and lights the fuse. After getting out of the way just in time, the bomb explodes in a ball of fire, leaving little left.
Narrator: Team Suppression Squad is impressed, but counter with...The Twin Hooks.
Bunns walks up to a carcass with the twin hooks and slashes with them both. She then stabs it with the pointed ends. Finally, she connects the two hooks together and swings them, slicing the carcass in half.
Narrator: Despite the twin hooks giving more options, the trauma by them is nothing compared to the toon bomb's trauma.
Edge: Toon Patrol
Narrator: Finally, it's time for explosive weapons. Team Toon Patrol bring...The Pineapple Bomb.
Eddie heads out to the firing range with the pineapple bomb. He pulls the pin, throws it at a group of targets and runs. The grenade went off and placed shrapenal into three of the targets and knocked the other two over.
Narrator: Team Suppression Squad are impressed, but not enough. They fire back with...The F1 Grenade.
Sonic steps out into the firing range with the F1. He does the exact thing Eddie does and runs off. When the grenade went off, fragmentation went into four of the targets and knocked the other one over.
Narrator: Both grenades did their jobs, but due to it's bigger blast, the F1 gets the edge.
Edge: Suppression Squad
Narrator: Testing is now complete, it's time to see who is more superior. The data from the tests will be uploaded into a computer simulation, developed by Slitherine Studios. To keep this showdown from being won by a lucky shot, the simulation will be ran 1000 times. Who will win? Gang vs Gang...Old vs New...
(The screen shows The Suppression Squad, then The Toon Patrol. Next, the screen shows Wise Guy firing his shotgun, then Scourge firing his AK-47.)
Narrator: WHO...IS...DEADLIEST?
Simulation:
A Dodge Humpback pulls up to a hotel, and five weasels (armed with various weapons) exit the car and enter the doors into the lobby. This was The Toon Patrol. The desk clerk gulped as he tried to leave, but Wise Guy aimed his Tommy Gun at him.
The clerk and the weasels then hear a 'Ding' and look at the doors of a nearby elevator opening, revealing a green hedgehog (Scourge), a brown coyote (Patch D. Coolette), a purple walrus (Boomer), a red fox (Fiona), and a yellow fox (Miles) as they exited the elevator (also armed with various weapons). They were The Suppression Squad.
TP: 5
SS: 5
Both gangs glare at each other, waiting for the other side to make their move. Greasy then notices Miles take out an F1 grenade and shouts, "BOSS! A BOMB!"
At this, The Toon Patrol fire their weapons, managing to shoot Miles before he pulls the pin.
TP: 5
SS: 4
The rest of the Suppression Squad return fire as Patch manages to shoot Stupid.
TP: 4
SS: 4
Wise Guy fires his tommy gun at Scourge, but the latter uses the clerk as a human shield as he orders the Patch, Boomer and Fiona to split up, Fiona with him. He drops the 'shield' and runs with Fiona deeper into the hotel, Boomer runs out into the parking lot, and Patch down a long hallway. Wise guy, after picking up Stupid's shotgun, orders Greasy and Physco to follow Boomer, and Wheezy to follow Patch while he follows Scourge and Fiona.
Out in the parking, Greasy and Physco are searching for Boomer. The walrus in question was behind a truck with a LPO-50 flamethrower strapped to his back. He then jumps out from behind the truck and roasts Physco.
TP: 3
SS: 4
He aims for Greasy next, but the weasel dodges the flames and hides behind a car. He then pulls out his pineapple bomb, pulls the pin, and throws it at Boomer. The explosion of the bomb caused an even bigger explosion as the tank of the flamethrower blew up.
TP: 3
SS: 3
Greasy then walks back into the hotel.
Meanwhile, Patch and Wheezy are in a fire fight of their own as Patch fires his AK-47 and Wheezy fires his Sawed-off Shotgun, so far neither had got a single hit. Wheezy continues firing until he runs out of bullets. As he tries to reload, Patch takes this oppertunity and shoots Wheezy with his AK.
TP: 2
SS: 3
However, at that moment, Greasy had entered and fired his tommy gun at Patch, showering him with bullets.
TP: 2
SS: 2
Scourge and Fiona were searching for Wise Guy when they heard gun shots. They ran to find out what the source was and saw Greasy aiming his tommy gun at them. He had just pulled the trigger when...
Click!
It turned out he was out of ammo. As he tried to turn to run and reload, he felt a sharp pain in his back as Fiona stabbed him with the pointed part of her twin hooks. As Greasy falls, Scourge shoots him with his AK, just to be sure he stays down.
TP: 1
SS: 2
Suddenly a hissing noise is heard as Fiona looks down and sees a toon bomb near Scourge. She runs up to him and pushes him out of the way, just as the bomb went off.
TP: 1
SS: 1
Scourge looked behind him and saw Wise Guy aiming his shotgun. Scourge quickly jumped out of the way and just as the weasel pulled the trigger. Both the hedgehog and the weasel aimed their firearms at each other and fired at the same time.
Click!
Click!
Turns out that both had ran out of ammo. Rather then reloading, they tossed their guns aside. Wise Guy pulled out his ice pick as Scourge pulled out his stilleto and acctivated the blade. Both gang leaders make mock stabs at each other, hoping to lure the other into a closer distance. Luckily, for Scourge, Wise Guy reached forward and jabbed him in the wrist, but that proved to be a deadly mistake for the weasel. Scourge grabbed him by the neck and sabbed him in the stomach with his stilleto, saying, "This is for Fiona." He then pulls the knife out and slashes Wise Guy's neck.
TP: 0
SS: 1
Scourge then drops Wise Guy and then he leaves the hotel.
Winner: Suppression Squad
Narator: Throughout the 1,000 battles, The Suppression Squad won with 592-kills, compared to The Toon Patrol's 408-kills.
Toon Patrol's kills: 408
Tommy Gun...238
Sawed-Off Shotgun...45
Ice Pick...1
Toon Bomb...99
Pineapple Bomb...25
Suppression Squad's kills: 592
AK-47 Assault Rifle...265
LPO-50 Flamethrower...224
Stilleto Knife...2
Twin Hooks...66
F1 Grenade...35
At the fight club, the teams discuss what happened.
"That was just a simulation." Valient said, "Have they fought in real life, it would have gone a whole different direction."
"The Toon Patrol is good..." Bunns said, "But not good enough to beat the Supression Squad."
(The screen then shows Scourge leaving the hotel.)