CHAPTER SIXTY

She was asleep, her head pillowed on his chest, her arm flung across his waist and she was snoring. He grinned as he pushed her tangled hair away from her face and looked down at her. Relaxed and peaceful, she trusted him to protect her from whatever terrors threatened her in her dreams. His arm curled around her shoulders holding her close as she slumbered.

They had talked for a while about mostly inconsequential things, catching up and reconnecting. There hadn't been much to laugh about in either of their lives for the last several months, but the very fact that they were together again, engendered more smiles than either of them were accustomed to. It was going to take time, but he could feel them beginning to find their way back to the easy camaraderie they had once shared.

He wanted more, he always would. She was like an unexplored road in exquisite country, winding and turning and around each bend was a more beautiful vista than the previous one. One breathtaking surprise after another. His fingers trailed along the smooth enticing skin from her wrist to her elbow , aching to travel further, but wise in their restraint. Her lips twitched as she dreamed, and he fought the overwhelming urge to kiss her awake, to taste her on his tongue sweet like chocolate. She shifted her position, capturing his leg between her own, and her hand slid upwards across his stomach to rest on his breast. He closed his eyes as his heart began to race and the sensations her warmth and closeness inspired, made his breathing short and ragged. It was exquisite torture, and he felt his traitorous body reacting of its own volition.

Even eight months pregnant, her body thick and heavy with his child, she was the most beautiful, desirable woman he had ever laid eyes on, much less hands, and it was a constant battle to keep them to himself.

The desire was bad enough, but the ache he felt in his heart was like an echo chamber. The loss of their deep connection, or at least the dampening of it, made him realize how much he had missed her. Her fierce loyalty, her compassion, the intensity of her love for him…he hadn't known until now how dependent he had become on it. How much he needed her belief in his humanity, her reassurance that he was not the monster he always felt himself to be. How much he relied on her vision of him, they way she saw him, looked at him, portrayed him to others. She was his link to the rest of the world, and he had nearly lost her.

He really was an idiot, his silent laugh was humorless and self deprecating. He didn't deserve what was now his third chance at happiness, but he was going to grab it with both hands and hold on for dear life.

She was stirring now, slowly swimming up out of sleep and her eyelids fluttered open. She lay for a moment, disoriented and confused, her eyes taking in the broad expanse of chest where her hand rested, then lifted to his face and the warm smile it wore. He was afraid she might pull away, but was delighted when she snuggled closer and yawned comfortably, " Was I out long?" she asked drowsily.

She could feel his chest rumble beneath her cheek as he chuckled, " A couple of hours I think," he said stroking her hair with an intimacy that made her shiver. Mistaking it for chill, he drew her closer and rubbed her arm gently. She chose not to let on that it was desire, instead draping her arm across his warm body as though seeking heat, and not the closeness that she craved. She lifted her head from his chest slightly to look into his face, " Your shirt is a little damp," she said, for lack of anything more coherent to say.

He grinned down at her impishly, " You were drooling,' he snickered.

She blushed crimson, " I don't drool," she refuted without conviction. He raised an eyebrow and poked at the damp spot beneath her cheek, " Well someone drooled on me, and since we are the only two here, the detective in you shouldn't have much trouble locating the perp."

She rolled her eyes, but returned his grin with one of her own. She rolled over on to her back, her neck still pillowed by his arm and stared at the ceiling. " I've missed this, " she said quietly, then shifted her eyes to meet his, " I've missed you."

He held her gaze steadily, no trace of guile in his own and replied earnestly, " I've missed you too Catherine….you have no idea how much." he continued to gaze at her profile when she looked away self consciously, " I was lying here thinking while you were asleep, just how much. I didn't really know how empty my life could be, until you were no longer in it. Sort of like the frog that's put in tepid water that's brought to a boil? He doesn't realize he's dying until he's dead. That was me. I didn't realize how miserable my existence was, until I saw you again, and the misery was gone." He stopped talking, thinking that he probably wasn't explaining his feelings very well. He hadn't had a lot of practice on that front, since JT wasn't all that touchy feely, and he had pretty much been Vincent's only human contact for ten years.

He looked back at her when he felt her eyes on him, " I know I'm not expressing this very well," he sighed in frustration, wanting to make her understand how much he needed her. " It's like…I've spent the last ten years just treading water, trying desperately to keep my head above it, fighting for every breath. And then there you were, like dry land beneath my feet and when I could stand I was so surprised I just lost my balance and fell. I could finally breathe, but didn't know how without struggling for it…does that make any sense to you?"

She paused for a moment before nodding, " Actually it does,' she replied softly, " Though it makes me sad for you that you have such a hard time believing you're entitled to a little happiness."

" it isn't just that either," he said, warming to the subject, " It was the whole idea of someone knowing who I am…really knowing me, and accepting me warts and all, when I couldn't accept myself. I guess it wasn't so hard for you, since you didn't know me before, there was nothing to compare the now me, to. But that was all I did, was compare and regret." he looked at her curiously, " I wonder if you would have even liked the old Vincent Keller, the doctor, the average guy… if you wouldn't have found him boring? I think that has played a part in my insecurity as well, desperately wanting to be the old me, and knowing if I was, you might not love me anymore."

She shook her head emphatically, " No…see you're thinking about the old me, the girl who always chose the bad boys so she wouldn't have to risk her heart. When I fell in love with you, it was with the man you are, the thoughtful, compassionate guy who tries to always do the right thing. Everyone has a dark side, yours just happens to have an obvious face and distinct personality. But even the beast has his redeeming qualities, which makes it possible for me to accept that part of you as well. Honestly Vincent, I love you, and if you were the doctor I'd love you, and if you were a garbage man I'd love you and if you mutate and become the beast full time, I'll still love you." She grinned, "I might not kiss you, but I'll still love you."

His eyes darkened with emotion, but he smiled and replied, " Well then…maybe we should get in as much kissing as we can, just in case?"

Her eyes glittered, " I think that is a brilliant contingency plan," she replied, tilting her chin in invitation and sighing as his lips descended to hers.

It was some time before they surfaced, somewhat breathless, from their kissing. The sun was low in the sky, and dusk was approaching. They were neither of them sated, Catherine's condition had prevented things from going too far, but they had enjoyed and shared a closeness that both had feared might be lost to them. As it turned out, it wasn't. They lay quietly in one another's arms until Vincent chuckled, " I think we had better feed you, I can hear your stomach growling even without super hearing.'

Catherine gave him a mock pout saying, " If I didn't know better, I'd think you were trying to fatten me up."

He slid out of bed, and out of arms reach before replying, " I think I've already done that," then laughed out loud when she huffed and threw a pillow at him hitting him square in the face.

The playfulness was fun and refreshing, and they were both enjoying the lighter atmosphere when Catherine's phone began ringing. She struggled to get out of bed, while Vincent raced into the kitchen to retrieve it before it quit ringing. "Geoff" he mouthed handing it to her, and he stood uncomfortably with his hands in his pockets as she flipped the phone open to answer it. " Geoff? How are you?" She listened for a moment, then made a sympathetic sound, " I understand…what? Oh..ok, sure he's right here, hold on," she held the phone out to him, " he wants to talk to you," she said, unable to hide the note of surprise in her voice. He took the phone hesitantly and said, " Hey Geoff, how's your dad doing?"

" Not so good Vincent," Geoff's voice was strained and worried, " I just got done talking with the doctor and they want to do something called…angio..angi…I don't know…I was hoping you could explain it to me and tell me if it's safe to let them do it?"

" Yeah, it's called angioplasty, and it's a procedure used to increase the blood flow to the heart. His arteries are probably clogged with plaque, which is most likely what caused the heart attack in the first place. Angioplasty is a commonly prescribed procedure in such cases, and any good surgeon should be proficient enough to do the surgery without complications."

" So I should go ahead and ok it? " Geoff asked in relief.

" I would think so," Vincent replied reassuringly, " But if you'd like, I can speak to the doctor and get the full story?"

" You'd do that?" Geoff asked, a note of surprise in his voice.

" Don't be an idiot," Vincent replied, " Of course I would. I'll fly to Idaho and do it myself if it'd make you feel better."

Geoff laughed, " I don't think that will be necessary," he said, " But I appreciate the thought. I would feel better if you'd speak to the doc though, just to ease my mind."

" Sure," Vincent replied, " Is he there? Then put him on."

Vincent spoke knowledgably with the doctor for a few minutes, then asked to speak to Geoff again, " Geoff, the surgery should go without a hitch. And if your dad follows his doctors instructions afterwards, he should be around for a long time to come. Ok?"

" OK, thank you Vincent, you've done me a huge favor with this and I won't forget it," Geoff sighed.

" Seems like I owe you a lot more than just advice," Vincent replied evenly, " If there's anything else I can do, you just call and let me know ok?"

" OK. Is everything going ok at your end?" Geoff asked hesitantly, afraid to intrude. Vincent smiled and replied, " Yeah actually," he smiled at Catherine, " better than I have any right to expect. Did you want to speak to Catherine again?"

" Yeah, put her on so I can say good bye. I'll be in touch. You take care ok?"

" I will," he replied gently, " You too man. Talk soon." Then he handed the phone to Catherine. She spoke to Geoff for a few more minutes then hung up with a sigh. She eyed Vincent speculatively for a minute then said, " That was nice of you, I know it meant a lot to him."

Vincent shrugged, " yeah well, I meant it when I said I owe him. A little free medical advice is small enough payment toward that debt."

" You're a good man Vincent Keller," she said softly, her eyes glittering with tears, " and I love you very much."

" I'm glad to hear you say that," he replied, his voice husky, " because I love you very much too."

He swallowed hard, trying to dislodge the lump that had formed in his throat, then he smiled and said, " and now for that growling stomach of yours…let's go make some dinner."

He helped her up from the bed and they walked down the hallway toward the kitchen hand in hand.