Something from the other side
Disclaimer: Harry Potter doesn't belong to me. If it did, James Potter would be alive.
After the accident during the game, which had been the second time that Harry had been in danger because of an encounter with a dementor while flying, both Sirius and James became really concerned about Harry's safety. Not only did the dementors hurt him physically but they also made him suffer the worst night of his life again, which was as psychologically damaging. Evidently Sirius and James could relate to that, considering that had been the worst night of their lives too.
Their concern led to much debate, and, in the end, they decided they needed to teach Harry how to cast the Patronus spell. As Sirius did not have a wand, something both Harry and James wanted to change as soon as possible, and refused to use Harry's for whatever reason, they had to stick to giving him the theory and ask him to try it out.
"Okay, Harry, focus on the happy memory." Sirius said. The four of them (even if James could not be seen by anyone else other than Ed) stood in the middle of the Shrieking Shack, while Harry tried to conjure anything larger than a blob of white mist, which had been his best so far, a few times this week.
"Expecto Patronum!" Harry bellowed once more. Even if he was focusing on the first time he had flown, the memory didn't seem to be strong enough, as it only created a small whisp. Despite that, Harry was feeling absolutely exhausted. "What am I doing wrong?" Harry exclaimed with frustration, sitting on the decrepit bed.
"Don't worry, Harry. This is very advanced magic." Sirius said, trying to cheer the boy up. James whispered something to Edward, who dutifully told the others.
"Your father told me that they learned how to do this spell by the end of their fourth year, and after a couple of months of practice, Harry." The little boy said as he sat next to Harry on the bed.
"Yeah, it helped us identify our animagus forms better." Sirius agreed, remembering all the times they had hidden to practice that same spell. He ignored the putrid hand of depression that tried to constrict his heart as he thought of better days, instead focusing on Harry and Edward. "You are doing great, it took us weeks to finally manage to get whisps out, and we've been practicing for less than three weeks."
"But we don't even have a real dementor here. If I can't produce a patronus alone, I can't possibly defend myself when one of them is near." Harry said, sighing deeply. James eyed Sirius a bit sourly, while the dog animagus looked sheepish, as if he knew his best friend was looking at him like that. It was because of Sirius' big mouth that Harry knew that it would be harder when there was a dementor around. It wasn't like James didn't want to tell Harry about it, he just thought it would have been better to teach Harry how to create a corporeal patronus before telling him there was going to be difference when a dementor was around.
"Don't worry about it for now, Harry," Edward said, repeating James. "Your father says that once you manage to create a cor- corpro- corporeal patronus, it will be much easier."
Harry sighed and stood up again. At least he had his father (sort of, but still), his godfather, who he'd come to love already, and little Edward there with him, and just remembering that fact would keep him happy no matter how many dementors he had to fight against. All those days he spent inside the Shrieking Shack with them made him happier... happier than he had ever felt before! It suddenly downed on Harry, he had never used that specific moment to try the spell before! It surely would be strong enough, wouldn't it?
Harry looked at Edward and saw the boy looking to a point between Harry and Sirius, where his father probably was. Harry used all his imagination to see his father there. It didn't take long, though, and he was able to see the handsome man who looked so much like him that he had admired so many times while staring at the pictures Hagrid had given him. On the spur of the moment, he projected not only his father, but also his mother there, smiling at him, their hands held tightly. Harry didn't have to imagine Sirius and Edward as even his real eyes could see them. His family was there.
Happiness like Harry had never felt before flooded his whole body. He may not have them there in physical, but he was sure now that they were there, watching over him, loving him. With new found strength, one he hadn't managed to find in the last few weeks. This time he didn't shout the words, he just said them. He said them as if it was the most natural thing for him to do, as it those words were just a way of saying 'thank you' to his family.
"Expecto Patronum."
This time something huge leapt out of his wand. For the first time ever he had managed to create an animal, and he was happy to see a beautiful stag prancing around the room.
Harry had a smile on his face while Edward was cheering loudly jumping up and down with his hands up. Sirius, on the other hand, was silent with his mouth opened while he stared at the stag that finally stopped in front of Harry. It was so familiar, it looked so equal, so real that he couldn't stop the wave of longing and sadness that washed over him. His eyes filled with tears that immediately started to fall as he desperately drank the image of the stag that looked so much like- no, scratch that, the stag that was his Prongs.
James was also staring at the stag, completely flabbergasted. "It is... me." He mumbled only to himself. "I'm his..." His voice got lost as he felt a dozen of different emotions at the same time. Pride and happiness were probably the most intense, but he couldn't help feeling very sad that he wasn't there to hug and kiss his son, which were the two things he wanted to do the most that exact same moment.
When Harry looked at his godfather and saw him crying, his happiness turned into worry. The stag flashed a couple of times before disappearing completely. Harry wanted to run to Sirius and talk to him, discover what wasn't right, but once the stag was gone, he found out how tired producing the stag on top of all the previous failures had made him. He had to back down a bit and sit on the bed again.
Sirius finally blinked, snapping himself out of the daze created by the stag. It was like he had been hypnotised but could finally think again. The tears continued to fall freely as he sobbed once, slowly going back until he his back hit the wall. He let himself slide down and sit on the floor, covering his face with his hands. Seeing Prongs like that had crushed him. Oh, the things he would do to have the real one there with him...
Once his patronal copy was gone, James finally took in what was happening in the room. He was caught between calming his best friend and checking up on Harry, who seemed to be exhausted because of the conjuring. Edward was looking at him, worry evident in his face. After a particular loud sob from Sirius that was followed by a growl, James made his mind up.
"Edward, take Harry and go," His heart could not beat anymore but it apparently could still break, as he felt it breaking when he immediately remembered the last time he had said those words, with a different name in the beginning. Swallowing thickly the lump that had instantly formed in the middle of his throat, James forced himself to focus. "Take Harry inside. Take him to the secret room and get some food in the kitchens for you both. I'll meet you there soon."
"B-But you s-said-" The boy stuttered, only to be cut by James.
"I know what I said, Eddy," He said, trying to maintain his patience when he heard Sirius sob and growl again, effectively drawing Harry's attention to him. The boy was pale and James recognized the early signs of magical exhaustion on him. "You need to go fast. Harry is really tired, he needs to eat and lie down for a couple of minutes. Go, I'll be there soon."
The boy only nodded before reaching for Harry. He didn't have to say anything other than 'your father told us to go' before the spectacled boy stood up and followed him, only giving Sirius a worried look. With another thug, Edward managed to take the older boy out of the room, closing the door.
James took a second to thank Merlin and God for making his son cooperate again once Sirius sobbed harder and growled even louder, drawing his full attention back to him.
"Why?! WHY?!" Sirius shouted hoarsely shaking and crying, his face still hidden behind his hands. James moved fast so as to sit next to his best friend, trying to come up with a solution to this... predicament.
It isn't that James hadn't seen Sirius in this exact same position before. Sirius was an emotion hoarder, giving little to no evasion to what he felt that wasn't excitement or happiness, and that obviously meant that he was like a bomb, ready to explode. It had been a while- and, if James had to be sincere with himself, it was probably the first time it hadn't been triggered by his family-, but James still remembered all the times when Sirius had finally blown up. The problem was, all the other times, James had been there, physically, giving Sirius all his support. And Remus and Peter too, for that matter, even if James had always been the one to manage to get their friend to calm down.
This time, however, Sirius was, for all intents and purposes, completely alone. James could only watch as Sirius hastily stood up, his face contorted in rage as he kept screaming 'why' over and over again, thrashing the room apart using his bare hands.
James could only watch as Sirius reached that exact point in which his tantrum got to its limit, because it was in that moment that James could finally control his friend.
This time, though, he wasn't there, so Sirius just continued.
James could only watch with sadness as the very little sanity his best friend had left slipped through his fingers because there was no one there to help him.
Remus was having a nice day for a change. It was Saturday, so he had a free day to himself. Not that he normally liked that, but at least he didn't have to force some knowledge into teenagers-who-couldn't-care-less-about-him-and-his-subject heads. He loved teaching, he really did, but he got really annoyed when students couldn't grasp the basic concept of things just because they wouldn't bother listening to the professor.
So, yeah, a whole day free of incessant pestering was a good day. Of course he couldn't stay inside his own office for too long or boredom would claim him, and with boredom comes feelings and memories he'd rather do without.
As he reflected on it, patrolling somewhere near the Hufflepuff Basement, Remus couldn't help but marvel at how little it had hurt to be back at Hogwarts, this time alone. He'd thought he'd get sad, not seeing all the friends he'd made throught his time there. And of course he missed the Marauders the most. He obviously didn't want to see Sirius Black anywhere near Hogwarts, but he more often than not imagined his teenaged friend strutting around one or another corridor as if he owned it, like he had seen many times before. Was that Sirius a traitor then, or was that something that changed in the future?
He sometimes thought he saw little Peter walking around in the middle of the other children eagerly listening to their conversations, too afraid to butt in, but too curious not to listen to them.
He sometimes expected to see the girls from his year, Lily included, leaving the Great Hall together.
He sometimes saw James entering or leaving a room. His heart stopped beating just then as if he had just been doused with litres of ice-cold water, until he realized it wasn't James, but Harry, his discretion so contrasting with his father's and mother's behavior.
Remus thought it would have been hard to deal with all this, but it wasn't. Hogwarts was his own private reservoir of good memories, a memorial of a past life that was so much better than the one he had to live right now.
Sometimes it was just too easy to slip into a memory of a day in which, instead of being late for teaching a class, he was late for class. He'd arrive there and see Peter having kittens worried because he hadn't shown up (nothing to flatter himself about, of course, Peter was just royally afraid of being asked something he didn't know without having Remus there to whisper the answer to him- something Black refused to do and James wasn't subtle enough to manage as he got too nervous to cheat). He'd see James wink at him as he sent yet another note flying to Lily. She'd blush and either scowl (if his friends were 14/15) or smile (if they were 17/18). Black's absence would be ignored.
With a smile and a short laugh at the thought, Remus realized he'd come to stop in front of the kitchen, one of the Marauders' many recurring headquarters. Now, the kitchen had been one of the few places where Remus'd rather not enter, and he didn't really know why. James had discovered the kitchens, and Peter had probably spent more time in that part of the castle than in their dorm room. Yet, Remus didn't think that was the reason why he didn't like the idea of going in there.
He consciously raised his hand to tickle the pear. He could almost imagine his plumpy friend excited right next to him. Peter would always ask one of the other Marauders to open the door just so he could rush in, almost giving the poor elves a good heart attack. As he stood there watching the newly produced doorknob, Remus giggled as he always did when he opened the door to his friend. James would open it absentmindedly, as if he wasn't even aware of what he was doing, so used to doing it by then. Black would always seem pissed off because of Peter's childishness, but would still concede and do it. Remus, however, had always been entertained by Peter's quirkiness and juvenile spirit.
Remus barely had any time to jump back as the door was pushed open. He almost lost his balance before he understood the kitchens' portrait had been opened, and, judging by the looks of it, a student was coming out.
The boy was really, really young, as far Remus could tell. Definitely a first year. He sort of reminded the werewolf of little Colin Creevey, who looked younger than the average student, and the boy's blond hair made the resemblance even bigger. What differenciated both boys was that this boy looked even younger, and he was most certainly scrawnier than Colin.
Once the initial shock was gone, Remus realized that, not considering how astonishing the fact that a first year knew where the kitchens were, students most definitely should not go in there. Principally not wearing robes, regardless of it not being a school day. Feeling like a hypocrite, considering he and his friends had done the exact same thing countless times, Remus opened his mouth to admonish the boy, only to stop short as he noticed the utter horror in the boy's face. Quite frankly, it disturbed Remus greatly, as the boy looked at him in such a way that it sort of reminded him of the way Neville Longbottom looked at Snape. One might think that, being what he is, Remus would be accostumed to being hated or feared, but considering how well that secret was kept, he rarely ever had experienced that. And he detested that he somehow made one of his students feel so worried and frightened around him-
Wait. Was that boy even his student, Remus thought. He was quite good with names and faces, but he was pretty sure that boy wasn't at all familiar to him. Before he could go through a list of his first year students, or even say anything for that matter, however, the boy seemed to snap out of his shock and fear, tightening his hold on a big sack of food to which Remus had not paid attention yet and running like a mad man through the corridor.
Stunned, Remus just watched the corner at the end of the corridor where the boy had disappeared.
After a few good minutes trying to wrap his head around what had happened, Remus returned to his room, still thinking about the boy. He never made it into the kitchen, and he most certainly did not remember what he had gone out to do. It wasn't as if he cared, though, as once more something completely out of the ordinary had happened and he just couldn't find a good explanation to it all. And this only gave him a headache, to be honest. And a headache mere days before the next full moon wasn't a good thing, either.
It wasn't that much of a good day to Remus Lupin after all.
A.N.: I never fully understood why Lupin forced Harry to immediately practice with a 'dementor'. It obviously worked, but, as I have been a teacher myself, I feel a small theoretical approach before practice actually helps a lot.
This story will not be completely in sync with the new information about the Potters (as in Harry's and James's ancestors). I'm sorry about that.
Sorry it took so long for me to update any of my stories. If you decided to give this a try and wants me to continue, leave me a comment, please? It certainly helps. Also, Remus is finally aware something's up. How long do you think 'till he finds everything out? How much of it can he find out?