A/N: Introducing Stella...Every bitch you've ever known. Thank you guys for the commenting, kudos, favorites, follows. It is so wonderful! Thank you.

Limes With Lipstick

Chapter Ten: Worlds Apart

Time says it's the end of the day
My inside says for your lips to forget what time says

Memories were collapsing one after another, being erased, and rewritten. It was summer break when the girl had felt the boy's absence the most. Everything felt like goodbye and that she would soon forget everything. She told herself not to shut her eyes for too long, not to dare fall asleep on whim, because she would surely lose him that way.

Don't be so eager to live, otherwise he'll disappear.

What was his name? What did his face look like...?

She stepped out onto the grass, feeling the cool, soft blades beneath her bare feet. This was where they would lie down and stare up at the sky. The clouds would move about quickly and appeared close enough to touch. It was like it would fall at any moment, until the boy reminded her that it was impossible.

He'd declare that nothing was ever that perfect.

'Don't leave me here,' she said, speaking into the silence of night. The house contained such darkness. Her father hadn't lived with them for almost a year and she'd watched her mother deteriorate from within the walls of their barren home.

The boy was perhaps the only symbol of warmth and hope that she'd held onto for so long.

It was difficult falling asleep knowing that Jared was in the other room. After giving up on sleep, she threw the covers over her legs, and walked out into the small living room. The actor seemed comfortable in his cramped spot with his head on his arm, and covers over his shoulders. She knew what she wanted to do, if only she had the courage to do it.

Her steps were quiet, bringing her to stand in front of him. Fingers reached out hesitantly, until they captured the fabric of his sheet. He only needed to feel her to know what she needed, as he scooted in for her, and made room. She lied down on the couch, tucking herself into him as closely as she could.

Beneath his arms, she felt safe, and hidden. Her hands closed against his chest, as she rested her head under his chin, and fell back to sleep. The lull of his heart beating in rhythm with hers was soothing, a comfort that she'd never be able to properly explain.

The next time she woke up, it was to the smell of bacon. She could hear it sizzling hot in the pan. It was possible that her stomach wouldn't allow her to rest, no matter how exhausted she felt. That was probably Jared's wicked intention all along. She opened her eyes and slowly pulled herself to her feet, following the humming coming from the small kitchenette.

She quietly took a spot at the table and watched as an oblivious Jared Leto took center stage, flipping pancakes, and singing softly to himself.

"Ah, the celebratory blowjob breakfast…" That was a thing, right? He jumped at the sound of her voice, before a confident grin replaced his surprise.

"You're smart in the morning. Goody for me. I guess a guy can't cook anything without giving a woman the wrong impression."

She set the mood with her tone, deflecting his amusement, "I want it to be forgotten. I really wasn't myself last night."

"Then perhaps you should refrain from bringing it up. Press the reset button in your mind. It's real simple and easy to use."

"Is that how you absolve yourself of your wrongdoings?"

"I haven't committed any wrongdoings...lately." He moved the pancakes onto a plate and placed it down in front of her. His were half eaten on the counter next to the bacon. That too joined their little setup. Blue eyes stared at her mischievously, "I'm a saint."

"You've done so many saintly things, of course, sir."

"What will you be doing while I'm touring? I noticed that you didn't book yourself a ticket."

"I'm using my ticket on someone else." She took a reluctant bite of her pancake and found herself quite pleased with his cooking. The nutmeg and cinnamon was a good touch. "In our documented agreement, you stated that I could spend tour time however I wished. It is you who determined that my accompanying you would be unnecessary."

"That's true." He felt an uncomfortable sensation in his chest then, a heaviness that refused to fuck off. "Tell me, who are you planning on flying out here?"

"Gee." That was if her friend would even accept the ticket after their last conversation.

"It's cramped in this trailer. Feel free to use my room while I'm away."

She nodded, actually considering it. "Thank you."

The conventional table-talk didn't suit them. And they both knew it. The tension was thick, nearly suffocating in the small space. The humidity from the rain shrouded the room like an unseen fog, the air becoming dank. The sun was gone from the morning sky, covered by the dark clouds that rolled in.

Pitter patters…the falling of the rain hit the windows and the roof of the trailer.

She dug into her breakfast, because it would be rude otherwise. Finishing it off had come too soon, as he collected their plates, and straightened up the mess he made. The cold silence was enough to drop the temperature in the room down to zero. It was her own fault, as she had been the one to make it so unbearable.

No matter how awkward it was, she couldn't stop watching him. His existence was imposing, such a ruthless distraction. He didn't appear to be bothered by anything at all. Jared was a busy person who had the upcoming tour and the film to worry about, yet she insisted on wasting his precious time. It seemed so selfish.

'I'm no one,' her mind screamed at the back of her subconscious. The many times he'd held onto her gaze, allowing her to feel like it wasn't true, flashed liked the flipping pages of a book.

He was going to leave and she'd been so eager not to go along with him. The man she'd slept next to twice now, how empty would she feel once he was gone? She struggled, knowing that she would be restless.

And once again she wanted to kiss him.

This time she couldn't ignore it. Not when she thought of him – gone. The chair scooted out with the pressure of her feet, as she stood up. He made her feel like a child chasing after a shadow, trying to hold onto nothingness.

Jared finished washing the last dish and turned, finding her there only inches away from him. He caught her by the wrist and pulled her to him, arms enclosed around her waist. She was brought up onto her toes.

"I need you to be honest now…" He teased his breath across her lips, threatening to close the distance. "What were you planning on doing to me?"

"A hug, maybe."

He sighed, "You're lying…"

"I am lying."

"What is it that you want from me, then?"

He was so close to her now, close enough for her to taste, if she'd just give in.

She flicked the top of his lip with her tongue, the action innocent in her mind, but the look she wore betrayed her. What did she want? He pulled his head back when she went in for a kiss, his eyes narrowed darkly at her.

"Games and more games," he murmured, finding the whole thing absurd. She was his anomaly. Hands fell to her hips, as he lifted her up. Her legs closed around him on instinct, when he carried her on over to her bed. It was where she should have stayed, instead of crawling under the sheets with him on the couch.

He pressed her body into the mattress, her arms pinned high above her head, when he spoke, "When I need honesty, I'm generally not asking for it."

She blew a strand of her hair out of her face, "My feelings are complicated. Can't you tell when a person is at war with themselves?"

"And I'm in the midst of it, which I don't appreciate. It's very confusing. One part of me is afraid of touching you, that I might scare you away, make you run as you so often do, and then the other, bigger part of myself wants to only be touching you." He scooted her thighs apart with his legs, allowing her to feel him. He was already hard. "It's a losing battle, the one that I'm fighting…"

He kissed her lips, slow, and lingering between words. "You remind me to stop when I've gone too far, whether it's physical or verbal."

She craned her neck towards him, gasping when he parted his lips against her skin, and rolled his tongue in strong circles. She moved her wrists just to feel his grip tighten around them, keeping her still, as he slowly consumed her. She anticipated the next stroke of his tongue, unable to suppress the small noise that escaped in response.

"You should tell me to stop right now…" He warned, as a hand slid along the flat surface of her stomach, and stopped at the hem of her shirt.

There was no objection. It was a funny thing, really, after all of her shoving in the opposite direction. What the hell did she want? He pulled back enough so he could look into her eyes, searching for those traces of doubt that were always there. She was inexperienced when it came down to it and he was all too aware of their age gap. She should fear him, yes.

He grabbed her by her face, his short nails digging into her cheek, "If I have you, then that's it. It's the beginning of a relationship. I'm not good at it…I haven't been in a relationship in a very long time. The decision wasn't for my sake, but it was for whoever had the misfortune of being with me. So, if you're going to keep pulling me in and pushing me away like the fucking tide, then tell me to stop."

She felt reminded of why he was so goddamn intimidating to begin with. From the start, he'd always shown her his coldness. It wasn't so that she'd pay him more attention. It wasn't a scheme to come off as wounded. He didn't invite her to fix him, because in his mind, he wasn't broken. It was her who was broken and always running. She worked for him – under him. He was a celebrity and one of the most beloved.

The things he said frightened her constantly. The fact that he demonstrated his affection towards her felt unreal at times.

She swallowed thickly against the tension, as she stared up into his heavy gaze, "S-Stop…"

Because she wasn't ready, because she might run one last time, because he deserved better – there were countless reasons.

He removed himself from her without saying another word. She felt his warmth retreating with every step he took, until she heard the trailer door slam shut, and he was gone. She'd fucked it up, just like she did with everything else in her life. Self-sabotage was one of her more defining traits, ask anyone.

But hey, at least the rain stopped.

Jared left for his flight the next day, leaving his assistant to her own devices, which was a dumb idea. She cursed him several times, going over the way they'd ended their last discussion. That brutal silence when he left had made it seem so final. Gee wasn't taking her calls either, so it wasn't as though she were in any position to vent about it.

Without being able to contact her friend, she wasn't able to book the flight date and time. She decided to use the ticket herself to go back home.

Messages: Jai Courtney
I stopped by your trailer, but you weren't there.
Do feel free to give me a ring once you're around.

She glared down at her phone, since it was not who she expected, or wanted it to be from. Jared wouldn't notice her absence, since he was away on tour. So, she shouldn't expect anything from that unaffected bastard.

The shared apartment between herself and Gee was small, yet comfortable. She had missed the smell of her neighbor's cooking. They used to try and guess what was being cooked, not that they would ever find out. It smelled like homemade sauce. She took out her key and unlocked the door, being greeted by Cheddar, the orange cat they started to feed, and eventually kept.

Gee walked out upon hearing the door being opened. She hadn't been expecting her friend to be standing there with her bags. Never mind their argument. It was long since forgotten, so small, and meaningless, "What happened?"

"I think I went too far," the assistant admitted, as she stepped further inside the apartment, and fell into the hug that awaited her.

"You…too far? You know that makes no sense, right?"

"I was so, so mean to you," she mumbled into her friend's frizzy blond hair, and felt Gee pat her on the back for comfort.

"We were both bitches." Gee grabbed her friend by the hand and pulled her into the kitchen. She put the tea on and joined the other woman at the table. "So, what is going 'too far' in your world?"

"Every time he gets closer to me, I push him away. It's like a natural reaction at this point. I have him whenever I want, but it doesn't apply to him. He proposed being with me, making it official, taking his pompous ass off the market."

"You mean being a proper gentleman and all of that nonsense?"

"Right…" She huffed, trying to digest what had happened still.

Gee almost didn't want to bring it up, but it was possible at this point. "Did you ever think that maybe, just maybe, you're still not over that boy?"

"He would be a man now. Don't make it sound so creepy."

"I'm serious. Perfect relationships always fall apart for you. It's because you haven't stopped searching for him. You used to make him sound like a fairytale. He was the boy who picked apart the sky for you, forcing your fears to make sense, until they disappeared."

"It doesn't matter. I can't remember his face anymore." No matter how hard she tried, the boy remained a faceless mystery, without a name, and exiled to the dark corner of her memories.

"Don't ruin what you could have with Jared or the next guy. Don't do it." Gee slammed her hand on the table, stressing the importance. Her friend needed to snap the hell out of it. "If you want someone, you have to go for it, and if it works, then it does."

"I think I'll stay home this time."

"Like, you won't return to Canada?"

She nodded, "I've failed him in so many ways. It's gross..."

Gee scooted the morning paper closer to her friend, "Back to the drawing board it is…"

"S'not like being unemployed is fashionable. I don't want to wear it for too long."

"You're right. It's really not cute," Gee said, as she poured the boiling water into their cups. "It was a miracle you even landed an assistant position and for something that was way, way out of your field."

"I've been meaning to ask you this question. Are you the one who handed in my resume?"

Gee paused for a moment, "I knew you were struggling, but I wouldn't hand over that job if it were available to me."

"If it wasn't you, then who would have done it?"

"Narrow it down to the two people who would have known. Could it have been your mother?"

"My mom doesn't have any connections."

"None that you know of…"

The crowd swaying in front of Jared was pulsing with energy. It was an intoxicating hum that burned his ears. This was what he couldn't get enough of. It was why he'd bowed out of the acting scene for so long. Creating music, reaching out through song, instead of his onscreen portrayals was better received by the fans.

And he had a beautiful voice, so why not? He could be under the lights, with his friends, and his family. He could feel the sun, even while in the dark. That kind of feeling could not be made up or manufactured. That was what made it so precious.

A woman stood off to the side of the stage, watching amongst the stage crew. Red lips turned up into a smile, as she watched the singer at his best. Stella wasn't sure why she'd come such a long way. Usually Jared would call her when he was in her country. They would have dinner, some wine, and then they would fuck.

It was the same thing – a routine, a promise. The promise of a routine was a dangerous thing. One might start to rely on it, but as she looked around, she realized that she had nothing to fear. His busy life was the only thing in the way, nothing more. As far as she could tell, he was the same old unobtainable conquest.

He'd even been kind enough to allow her to stay and watch. She was kept away from the fan's eye, but close enough where he could see her. She licked her lips, as her gray eyes darted to the flash of his chest and exposed arms. He was still in such great shape. It was impossible not to want him then, heaving, and sweating – pressed up against her intimately.

There were clothes he had to replace for her in the past, priceless lingerie that belonged from collections that no longer existed. It would be a lie if she said she hadn't known any better. He made sure that she learned real quickly as to what was appropriate to wear and what wasn't safe. Jared was never drunk when he laid a finger on her, but there always seemed to be something else possessing him.

He was a lover who had given her both pain and pleasure. It was the hell before heaven and she craved more of it, because there was nowhere else, or no one else rather, who could fulfill such needs. She'd been to professionals, bound herself to a dark room, and determined that it was too droll. There was no warmth or intensity.

Perhaps she'd have to hold onto him this time.

Stella was never one for chasing after men, yet there she was anyway, ignoring the fact that he'd ruined her. The fact that she stood there, waiting for him, was proof enough.

She tucked a blond strand of hair behind her ear, deciding that she'd remain by his side.

'The poor boy, doesn't even know what he's in for…'

TBC