Chapter Ten: One Long Night
"Edward I don't know how to put this. Tonight I realised something. I've been so obsessed with you, with my feelings and I didn't think of the rest of my world. And the rest of my world will want reasonable explanations. I guess what I am trying to ask is; what do we tell everyone? Are we dating? What are we?" He visibly relaxed at this and turned his hands over to grip mine. "I mean, it's just my friends won't really accept that I am in love with you after knowing you for the time I have."
"What you want to ask is if we are actually dating," he said, obviously amused as he saw through my rambling to the heart of the point. I nodded, looking straight at his eyes. "Yes. I think what we are constitutes as boyfriend and girlfriend. That is, if you want to be my girlfriend."
That was a no brainer.
"Of course I do Edward."
"Well then, we just tell them that we are dating, and started to on the weekend. They don't have to know the details. They will have to know that I will rarely let you out of my sight though. They should be prepared for that." I laughed at the end of that, while my mind was soaring. Me, Rebecca James, was with Edward Cullen! It was the sort of thing you could hear as He is going out with her! But I didn't care. I didn't care that he was so much more beautiful than me. He saw something in me, and wanted me, and that was what I cared about.
"One question. You looked upset when I said I wanted to talk to you. Why?" he looked at me startled for a moment, as if he hadn't thought that I had noticed that.
"You are going to laugh. I thought that what had happened tonight had made you realise that you couldn't be with me in your world, and was going to break up with me." my mouth fell open at that, and he was the one who ended up laughing.
"Me break up with you??" I said incredulously. "Edward that is the silliest thing I have heard in this whole stupid night. I could never break up with you."
Edward stopped the car outside my house and looked towards me as I didn't get out. I smiled shyly at the intensity in his gaze. I didn't let go of the hand which had held mine throughout the journey. We sat there in silence for a few moments.
"Are you going to go inside?" he asked me curiously.
"I don't really want to, but I probably should. You will be in college tomorrow, right?" I asked him, suddenly bizarrely worried.
"Of course I will." I took on last long look into his eyes then gently pulled my hand away from his stone cold grip. I had to make myself notice things like that now, because it felt normal to me now. He raised the hand which had been holding mine to my face and stroked it gently, sending tingles through me. As I opened the door I basically fell out, I was that affected by that simple touch. I looked back to glare at Edward, as if to dare him to laugh at my insane inability to move without hurting myself. He was strong enough to keep his lips tightly pressed together, although I could see the hint of a smile in them.
"See you tomorrow Edward," I said as I closed the door and he rolled down the window.
"Sleep well, Bex." Those words made me giddy. I walked down the slope to the house and knocked on the front door. As my brother opened the door Edward smoothly pulled away from the kerb and executed a perfect 3 point turn to get out of the cul-de-sac. My brother looked curiously at me as I walked past him.
"Who was that? Because it wasn't Jackson because I know his car, and Dale doesn't have a car so it couldn't have been him, but I know it was a boy. Who was it Bex?" my brother was talking, and I didn't think that he had taken a breath in the whole sentence. I grinned down at him.
"That was Edward."
"Ohh, who is Edward? Is he your boyfriend?" he asked, trying to embarrass me, as if it was something to be ashamed of. Typical ten year old boy with the whole "eww girls" mentality. I ruffled his hair.
"yes he is," I said and the words sent a thrill through me. Boyfriend. A word which was a bit too commonplace for Edward, and my feelings for him. but it worked. "Now shouldn't you be in bed, it's almost half eight!"
He ran up the stairs as my mother came out of the study. She smiled up the stairs after him, and then looked inquisitively at me. I grinned and then walked into the study to settle myself down on the sofa. We normally did this. I would come in from a party, and would tell her about it. I was much earlier home than normal, and so she would want to know what happened. And no doubt she had heard about Edward, and so would want to know all about that. I didn't mind. I was glad that she took such an interest in my life, unlike the absentee parents who would let their kids run wild and do anything and everything. I could share things with her. I obviously couldn't tell her everything, but I would be able to tell her enough. She shouted up the stairs at my brother, and then came back into the room. She turned down the TV, and then turned to look at me.
"So... You going to tell me what happened tonight for you to leave early, and not with the people you left with?" her voice was slightly teasing, by still had a hint of worry in it. How did she manage to infuse those two emotions together in her voice? It baffled me.
"I got into a fight with Dale. He was drunk and started saying stupid things which I took exception to. I'm gonna call him in the morning to sort it out and tell him off when he can actually feel bad for what he did." I could see her bursting to prompt me and find out the rest of the story, and for a few moments I wanted to make her ask again, but I changed my mind. No need to taunt her, "Edward gave me a lift back, because I didn't feel like staying there, and I didn't want to make Jackson leave the party, so I said yes when he offered it."
I could see the question before she asked it.
"Is he your boyfriend?"
"Yes mum, he is. But don't go giving me the boyfriend talk. It's early days, and anyway, I think that you might like him." she looked sceptical at this. She didn't really have much of a point of reference to go from with me though. I'd only dated one guy before, and that was four years ago.
"Well, we'll see. When do me and dad get to meet him then?" never, I thought wistfully. I could imagine just what my dad would be like. He would be the stern and protective father, and then would start to embarrass me in the only way he could. I loved my dad, but he made so much of an effort to embarrass me that I was almost immune to it. Almost. I was dreading the sort of things he would come up with when he met Edward. I still had the memories from my eighteenth birthday party fresh in my mind. He and my two uncles had "dad danced" for the whole night. And I mean ultimate dad dancing, complete with widely throwing about glow sticks. I almost shuddered at the memory.
"Umm, I don't know, may be this weekend? I don't really know," I said, trying to sidestep the question swiftly. I think she realised though, and dropped the subject.
I sat there with her for a little longer, but then started yawning a lot. I got up and dragged myself to my warm comfortable bed. But I couldn't get to sleep. I tossed and turned underneath my quilt, getting tangled in the sheets. Finally I got bored of this and tossed the sheets off me. I turned to my bedside table and saw the reading on my clock. 11:47.
I sat up and grabbed my dressing gown from the side, shrugging it on, and then padded barefoot out of my room. I walked down the stairs to the kitchen, squealing slightly at the cold floor. I grabbed a glass from the cupboard, and then spun around as I felt the lightest of breaths on my neck. There was no one in the room with me. I reached for the light switch and snapped on the smaller lights which were underneath the hanging units. Breathing evenly I walked over to the tap and filled the glass with fresh cold water. I drank it gratefully, gulping it down until the glass was empty. I filled it up again, and as I was facing the sink I got the weird feeling that someone was in the room with me. I turned the tap off, and slowly turned around to lean against the edge of the unit. I was being stupid, I tried to convince myself. There was no way that anyone could be in the room with me. I was in a locked house, in the middle of Oakley. But the last part of the sentence did not have as much reassurance as it once had. My recent experience had taught me that. I slowly sipped my drink and closed my eyes, trying to repress the memories. Those people were still out there. There was no Edward here now to make me feel safe. I was in a dark house, downstairs while my parents and brother slept easily above me. I had never felt more removed from them than I did at that point. And I couldn't push the memories down. Walking as if I was in a daze I went to the table and sat down, resting my head in my hands, forcing myself to breathe slowly. I wasn't meant to be feeling like this. As much as I tried to tell myself that I hadn't changed since it happened, that it hadn't fazed me, it had affected me. I didn't go out on my own, even to see Kerry. I had to call her up and get her to meet me, always taking the roads, even though they took longer. I was scared. It had all caught up on me. My breathing began to hitch and tears began to roll from my eyes. I hated this! I hated feeling weak and vulnerable. My whole life I had been the strong one for whoever needed it, for the friend who had just been dumped, for the brother who had been bullied, to comfort anyone who needed it. And now there was no one here to comfort me, when I needed someone. Not someone. Edward. I needed him right then. My tears ran down my wrists and dropped onto my chest and legs, soaking the fabric there.
Then arms circled me, holding me to a stone hard chest, stroking my hair while the angel's voice murmured soothing things to me. I pulled my hands away from my face and threw my arms around his neck. I sobbed quietly into his chest for a long time.
Eventually my tears ran dry and I sat there on Edward's lap, in his arms, clinging to him. Neither of us had said anything. I looked up at the clock on the wall and was shocked to see that it was 3 in the morning. I had been sat with Edward for over two hours, not thinking about anything. Now my mind started working again. Looked up at Edward's eyes, to check that he was handling my proximity, or if I had to move. I really didn't want to move, so I instantly felt better when I saw their golden depth full of sympathy and concern. I didn't stop looking at him. Then I realised something.
"Edward, what were you doing here? How did you know I needed you?" I whispered, not wanting to wake anyone up. I knew that he would hear my every word.
"I didn't," he said, and then paused as if he didn't want to reveal something. I looked expectantly up at him, not letting him break away from my gaze. "I came to see if you were... alright. I wanted to make sure that the night had not affected you."
"So you came into my locked house, where my family is sleeping, where I should be sleeping, to check if I was alright?" I asked incredulously. That was the most insane romantic thing anyone had done for me. Edward nodded, then laughed quietly at the way I had put it. I snuggled into his chest and put my head on his shoulder next to his neck. He had calmed the panic which I had felt earlier. "Thank you Edward."
He stood up smoothly, still holding me, and carried me swiftly upstairs. It felt like I was flying, and we were already in my bedroom. I didn't bother asking him how he knew which room was mine. I was beginning to have sneaky suspicions about that. But try as I might I couldn't find the right indignation in myself. It was Edward and that seemed to make it acceptable. He put me down on my bed and looked down at me. I wriggled under the bed covers and looked uncertainly back up at him.
"Do you.... Do you want me to go?" he whispered. I shook my head and pouted. That was the last thing I wanted. If he went then the panic might come back.
"Please don't go Edward. I don't know if I would be able to handle being on my own again." He nodded and lay down on top of the covers next to me, hesitantly putting an arm over me. I wriggled back to lie against his stone chest.
"Do you want to talk about what was wrong?" his voice was quiet, but I automatically looked at the door. It was closed tightly. I explained to him in a whisper, and I could feel him getting tenser next to me. "I could literally kill them for what they did to you."
"Well you shouldn't," I murmured as my eye lids started to droop. I couldn't muster up the appropriate opposition to the idea of him killing someone who had hurt me. hell, I wanted to do that myself, in that kind of I want to kill you but will never have the guts to do it way. I could tell he was serious. I had to force myself to open my eyes to stop drifting to sleep. How the hell was I able to go to sleep with Edward there? And yet I was starting to drift. There was one last thing I wanted to say to him before I went to sleep. "Edward, I love you."
It was as my eyes were drooping finally that he spoke to me. When he did it sent shockwaves through me, in a good way.
"I love you." It was the first time he had said it in so many words. "Now sleep honey. You need your rest.
I woke up the next morning on my own, and couldn't help but think that the last night had been a dream. That was until I found the note underneath my pillow. It had my name in elegant calligraphy on the front. I unfolded the smooth white paper to uncover the most beautiful handwriting I had ever seen. I read through the note quickly the first, and then slowly as I digested what it said.
Bex
I am truly sorry that I wasn't able to be there when you wake. I will see you in college.
I love you
Edward
I held it for a few moments, and then started to get ready for college. As I did I mused at the unorthodoxy of our relationship. We had known each other for almost three months and he already knew me better than most people. We had been officially dating for a day and had already both said that we loved each other. He had spent the night at my house and we hadn't kissed yet. It was a strange relationship, but it was one I was strangely comfortable with. I was on top of the world.