A/N: Brace yourselves, because this is a looooong chapter. I thought about spitting it in two, but then thought that it would look unbalanced.
Sorry for the long wait!
Thank you for the reviews, you guys are awesome and I love you all!
This chapter has been betaed by the lovely loveandallthat.
The song Naruto and Sasuke sing in bed is called 'Broken Wings' by Flyleaf. Do listen to it, because it's really beautiful in a simple way.
WARNINGS: Slight ItaSasu.
Chapter Seven
Naruto's POV
Later that night, after taking a quick shower, I found myself sitting with my legs pulled to my chest on the armchair near the window in Sasuke's bedroom as I stared at my cell phone with a frown. I was already in my boxers and a t-shirt, ready for bed.
Itachi hadn't gotten home yet, but the prospect that he might arrive any minute discouraged both Sasuke and me from showering together, even though the idea was very appealing.
I was pondering on calling Kiba – since it wasn't that late – to finally have that much-needed talk with him. In a way, I really wanted to get it off my chest and tell him about me and Sasuke, but I wasn't sure if I was able to deal with my best friend's reaction if it wasn't good. I was expecting him to freak out completely, but on the other hand, I hoped that Kiba's often concealed maturity would prevail to the point where he could be more rational than impulsive.
I had initially thought that I wanted to tell him face to face, but then again, it scared me that he might behave like an asshole again. Kiba was my best friend; I trusted him with my life and, as a comrade, there was no one in the world with whom I empathized more.
I hugged my knees, my thumb hovering over the green button, and all I had to do was press it, but for some reason, I found myself hesitating. What exactly was I supposed to tell him? How was I supposed to approach the subject?
It wasn't like I was afraid to talk to him; it was just that I wanted his support, but he might not give it, and even though it wouldn't be something that I would let affect our friendship, I honestly hoped that I wouldn't have to go through it. Sasuke and Kiba were important to me, but they both had the same priority now, only on different levels and for different reasons. It would be painful for me if somehow something ruined the dynamics I was longing for. Just like Sasuke had needed an accomplice, so did I, and I wanted that to be Kiba; not to mention that I was actually feeling like shit for hiding such an important fact of my life from him.
The sound of the bedroom door creaking open made me look up to see Sasuke coming in, before closing the door behind him. He was naked safe for a blue towel wrapped around his waist, his skin still moist from the quick shower, his hair wet. He didn't really look at me, heading for his wardrobe and opening it. When he removed the towel from his waist and used it to dry his hair, my mind effectively decided that thinking about Kiba could wait a few more minutes as my eyes eagerly trailed over his naked form and the curve of a very well-defined ass.
Once he had dried his hair enough, he swung the towel over his right shoulder and rummaged through the wardrobe in search of something to wear to bed.
I couldn't help but still be amazed at how damned hot he looked in the nude. It was the stupidest thing, because I had seen him naked so many times before throughout the years, and yet, it was like he was a whole new person now, a welcomed gift for my curious eyes.
I could spot a few red marks on his shoulders and in the curve of his neck, and it amazed me that he also had a few scratches along his shoulder blades, clearly my doing. The reddish slashes were a stunning contrast to that ivory skin of his.
Remembering what we had done a couple hours previously made my cheeks catch fire and my heart flutter happily as all the blood in my body seemed to travel southwards.
I wondered if I had marks like those, as well?
Fuck, I hope so, 'cause they look fucking hot.
"Stop staring at my ass, Naruto," Sasuke muttered absently with his back to me before putting on a pair of dark blue boxers.
I grinned at his perception of my acute attention. "It is a fine ass, babe." The look he threw me over his shoulder made me laugh out loud.
"Call me something like that again and you'll never get to look at it again," he threatened with a disgusted snarl before fishing out a white t shirt and putting it on as well. "Just because we are now officially intimate doesn't mean you have my permission to be repulsive."
"Aw, but why?" I whined, faking a hurt pout as he turned to me with an eyebrow quirked up. "We should so call each other cute names! Most couples do, you know? Like honey, baby, cutie pie, love…"
Sasuke effectively managed to silence me by grabbing a pillow from the wardrobe and throwing it to my face, hitting it accurately. I laughed again and hugged said pillow to my chest.
"Don't look so murderous, Sasuke," I teased, rocking my body a bit. "Don't tell me you never called your previous girlfriends by any cute names."
"No, I didn't," Sasuke stated, as if the thought itself was atrocious, taking out the other pillow and closing the wardrobe door.
"Dude, I'm pretty surprised none of your girlfriends broke up with you," I said, amused. "You're a hard stone to crack, and pretty much different from… well, any guy, really. But then again, you can be a good boyfriend in your own, very Sasuke-ish way."
When he turned around and headed towards the bed, his features had relaxed a bit. "Men aren't as romantic as women, no matter how much they like to make them believe they are."
"Nah, they are romantic, they just show it differently, I suppose," I said, thoughtfully. "But yeah, I guess men and women tend to go with that traditional notion of 'romance'."
"And it's because it's so typical that I hate it," Sasuke retorted, pushing the bed covers back and adjusting the pillow on his side before looking up at me. "Were you talking to someone?" He then inquired, noticing the mobile phone in my hand.
I threw the pillow back to him, and he caught it easily and placed it beside his on the bed. "I was debating on calling Kiba. You know, to tell him about us."
"Debating?" Sasuke frowned. "Since when do you have to debate on whether you call your best friend or not?"
"Since he was a jerk," I replied, shrugging. "I haven't spoken to him since Wednesday because he was a complete asshole to me when I told him I had a crush on you."
The eye roll Sasuke gave me was expected. "That was a very sensible thing to say to him out of the blue, dumbass."
"He asked for it!" I defended myself. "He just kept teasing me that you and me were spending a lot of time together and that I had a crush on you and blah blah, so I straight out told him that I do have a crush on you, and… well, his reaction wasn't good, which is stupid, considering he was already accusing me, right?"
Sasuke heaved a sigh. "Inuzuka is just overly excited, like a puppy," he replied seriously, running a hand through his hair. "He pokes you until you can't take it anymore and then gets offended when you poke him back. But he's your best friend, and if you want to tell him, you should just do it. It's been almost a month, and he's going to be pissed either way."
"I know," I nodded. "I mean, I'm ready for that, but it's better if I break the news to him through the phone and let him vent as much as he wants until I really talk to him face to face, no? I can't stay calm and keep it cool if he's all worked up, it won't work." I scratched the back of my head vigorously. "It's the only con of our friendship, really. When we're both pissed, neither of us can be mature and balance things."
"It'll be fine," Sasuke assured, his lips curving in a ghost of a smile. "He pretends to be limited, but he's seen you go through all of your relationships with both girls and guys, so how bad could it get? If he's an idiot, I'll talk to him. Although I have a feeling that he's going to want to have a word with me, anyway, and give me a piece of his mind with the usual 'hurt him and I'll break every bone in your body' threats."
"Gods, I hope he really does that," I said, grinning mischievously, making Sasuke's smile grow a bit.
"Just talk to him," he said simply, pushing the bed covers off him. "I'll give you some privacy."
"You don't have to leave!" I called out in surprise, just as he was heading for the door. "It's not like you can't listen to what I'll say to him."
"I'll go have a glass of water or something," he dismissed, waving his hand absently. "Take your time, and call me when you're done."
My eyes followed Sasuke as he left the room and closed the door behind him. I smiled a bit to myself, a weird sort of contentment filling me.
"Seriously, can this guy get any better?" I mumbled to myself. "Un-fucking-believable."
After taking a long breath to prepare myself, I looked back at the mobile phone in my hand, thinking that it was better to just get it over with.
Feeling a lot more reassured after hearing Sasuke's supportive words, I easily dialled Kiba's number again and pressed the green button before bringing the device to my ear.
It didn't take long for Kiba to pick up. "Hey, man," he greeted, in a hesitant tone, clearly trying to sound more cheery than fearful.
"Hey," I greeted back calmly, making myself more comfortable on the armchair, with my back against one armrest and my legs stretched out over the other, dangling from the edge. I felt somehow relieved that Kiba seemed to be in a more submissive state of mind instead of just straight out being defensive, like I had assumed. "How's it goin'?"
"Fine," Kiba replied, now sounding as relieved as I was at my casual start. "Happy birthday."
"Thanks."
"I wasn't expecting you to call at this hour," he said, cautiously.
"Is it a bad time?"
"No, man, you know you can call me anytime you want." He was silent for a few seconds. "So, how was your day? Did you have fun?"
"Yeah, I really did," I replied, tilting my head back to look at the ceiling. "The bastard had this photo shoot thing, which was the reason why we came here in the first place, and it was really awesome. I got to meet this really famous photographer."
"Awesome."
"And then we he took me Akihabara, and it was, like, soooo cool," I proceeded, glad to just be able to easily slip into a normal conversation. "I got you something there, by the way."
"What is it?" he asked, curiosity gracing his voice.
"You'll see when I give it to you," I said, laughing a bit. "But I have a feeling you're going to love it. Anyway, we spent the day there and then we went to see 'Pein' live. The drummer is Itachi's best friend and his and Sasuke's cousin, and he used to go on vacations with us like, forever ago. He looks so different, though, I would've never have guessed."
"That's great, dude."
"It was a great day, that's for sure."
"I'm glad," Kiba said, with a hint of a smile in his honest voice. "'Cause I would definitely kick Uchiha's ass if he didn't make your time worthwhile."
I found myself smiling as well. "Yeah, he's been really great."
"Are you coming home tomorrow?"
"Of course, but I'm not sure at what time, we're kind of depending on Itachi to drive us back," I tapped my fingers on my belly. "But Tokyo is really great. I get a bit overexcited all the time because there are just so many things and it's so noisy. I think I could have a stroke if I stayed here too long."
Kiba laughed a bit, but after that, his breath seemed to catch as if he had choked on the very air itself, which made him cough and me snort.
After a few seconds of silence – apparently awkward from his side – he spoke again. "Naruto, I just…" he cleared his throat in clear embarrassment. "I'm really sorry. For being a jerk the other day, I mean. I was just shocked and… well, you weren't talking to me and I really didn't' want to make you angrier, so I kind of…"
"Don't worry about it," I interrupted, lowering my voice so it was reassuring. "It's fine. You were an asshole, but I wasn't very subtle about it either. Let's just forget about it, okay?"
"Okay," he mumbled, still sounding embarrassed and hesitant. "I was really surprised, but I had time to think about it and… well, I'm okay with you crushing on Uchiha, seriously. It's none of my business so, all I really have to say is… good luck, I guess."
It was my turn to become silent, tension making my muscles clench. "Yeah, Kiba, about that," I muttered, scratching my stomach. "I have something to tell you, but you have to promise me you won't freak out, or get mad."
A moment of hesitation, and then I heard Kiba inhale sharply, as if he was getting ready for whatever it was that was coming. "You're scaring me, but I promise."
I chewed on my lip for a bit and swallowed hard. "Well, I can't really go into detail right now, but I'll explain things to you better on Monday," I started, feeling my heart rate speed up a little with nervousness. "But what you have to know now is that a few things have happened, and now… well, Sasuke and I are kind of… seeing each other."
Again, nothing but silence. Then, Kiba whispered "Seeing each other?" He paused. "I don't understand."
"We're kind of... sort of dating," I said, trying to sound casual but knowing I was failing miserably.
"Dating as in… you and him are a couple?" Kiba pressed on, as if he still hadn't quite grasped what I had said.
"Yes, something like that."
"You and Uchiha?" he repeated.
"That's right," I replied, patiently, rubbing my right cheek with the tips of my fingers.
"But… he's straight!"
"He is," I confirmed, not without a ghost of a smirk. "Although, he is accommodating to me rather nicely."
I heard him swallow hard. "How long has this been going on?" he inquired, seriously, but making a clear attempt at remaining calm.
"Almost a month."
That's when he gasped, finally letting his shock show. "A month?!"
"You promised you wouldn't get angry, Kiba," I reminded him, not without a guilty flinch.
"Well, I'm shocked, what do you want me to do?" he snapped, all traces of composure forgotten before he huffed. "Fuck, Naruto, seriously?!"
"We were just giving it a try, so it seemed pointless to tell anyone if things didn't work out," I explained apologetically. I had the odd necessity to also scratch my jaw in an unconscious act of nervousness.
"Apparently, they are working out," my best friends replied, and he sure didn't stop the disapproval and sarcasm from the way he said it.
"Yes, they really are," I said, heaving a sigh. I really didn't want him to be mad at me, so I was determined to finish that phone call on good terms with him, no matter what. "Please, Kiba, don't be mad."
He snorted audibly and seemed to take a few calming breaths. "I'm not, but I do wish you had told me about it," he ended up saying, sounding suddenly tired. "So, what happened? Have you been crushing on him for longer than that, or did that kiss made you two suddenly realize you were into each other?"
"It's not like that," I muttered, shaking my head before reminding myself that he couldn't see it. "Look, I can't really get into detail right now, because Sasuke left so I could talk to you and I don't want to leave him hanging, but…" I bit my lip. "I need you to be okay with this, Kiba. You're my best friend, and Sasuke and I… It's kind of a mutual attraction thing, and it's been a while since I've felt like this, and in such a carefree way, too. It's been really good, and it's working, so…"
"I get it," Kiba interrupted me, and I could picture him rolling his eyes and scowling from the other side of the line. "I can tell this is important to you, so of course I'll be one hundred percent supportive of whatever this is, even though I'm not too fond of Uchiha, as you know, and I doubt I'll be just because you're dating him. But I'll always be here for you."
My muscles instantly relaxed at that, making me smile openly with relief. "Thank you," I whispered.
"Just know that you'll have to explain it to me properly," Kiba proceeded. "Because it sounds fucking crazy, even coming from you."
"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, letting out a small chuckle. "I'm a nice guy, I know what I want. And yeah, don't worry; I'll tell you more about it as soon as I can."
"Good," he huffed again. "Fucking hell, I won't be able to sleep."
"Relax, it's not such a big deal," I assured him. "Just don't tell anyone, for now."
"I'm offended that you had the need to ask."
"You do have a big mouth sometimes, you know that."
Talking to Kiba and telling him about Sasuke and me really made me feel like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I hadn't opened my mouth about it to anyone, and keeping it hidden from the closest person to me really was taking its toll on me, not to mention that it felt great to not be on bad terms with him anymore.
After that, we exchanged a few casual words. I promised I'd text him as soon as I got home the next day and we arranged for him to pick me up on his bike on Monday morning.
When I hung up, my body felt a thousand times lighter than it did when I had dialled his number. Stretching my arms over my head, I happily jumped from the armchair and went to the kitchen to tell Sasuke that I was done. He seemed genuinely glad – in his own way – that the conversation had gone well between me and my best friend.
We shared a glass of juice and a few leftover chips from the previous night before cleaning up and heading to bed. Sasuke searched his mobile phone for some song he said wouldn't leave his head, and as we were lying on the bed, the room semi dark, we listened to a tune that was also familiar to me. We were both on our back, our fingers linked over the covers at our hips. I couldn't help but wonder why the fact that Sasuke and I had similar taste in music seemed so significant all of a sudden.
"I somehow have the feeling that I know why this song was in your head," I murmured, turning my head to the side so I could grin at him.
"Touché," he replied, smirking softly at me. "It kind of suits us, don't you think?"
"Uh-huh." I adjusted my body a bit to move closer to him and he imitated me so we could press our lips together. "I think I want it. It'll be your ringtone for whenever you call me."
Sasuke chuckled against my mouth, lips parting so that his teeth could scrape over my lower one, making me release a sound of appreciation. "When the fuck did we become such romantic pussies? I'm seriously starting to feel disgusted with myself."
I couldn't help but laugh at his words.
"It's all good if it stays between us," I whispered, shifting so I was on my side. "Nee, Sasuke, sing for me just a little?"
His eyes narrowed for a while as he scrutinized me with serious contemplation. Then, his tongue flicked out to moisten his lips and he started to sing, his voice creating quite the gorgeous contrast with the voice of the female singer.
I closed my eyes, feeling that deep, emotional connection with him that now seemed to be a constant every time we did something together. It had started to feel like I couldn't stop wanting more and more from him, and it was amazing, but surprising all the same.
Why did the weekend have to end? Why couldn't things be this simple, this perfect every single day, everywhere?
Taking a soft breath, I moved to lay on my side to rest my forehead against Sasuke's shoulder and, filled with the most wonderful sense of bittersweet completion, I let my voice join Sasuke's as we sang lowly together until the song was over.
Sasuke's POV
After all the adventures of Naruto's birthday, I had the best night's sleep I had had in a while. The next morning, I woke up early, as usual, sweating and feeling incredibly hot with Naruto's leg thrown over mine, his arm draped over my chest as he snored gently in my ear.
Knowing I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep, I removed myself from under Naruto's rather heavy limbs and got up quietly, desperately craving for a shower, even though I had one the night before. However, first I headed to the kitchen, to quell my even more desperate thirst with a glass of water.
The house was quiet, the door to Itachi's room closed. He hadn't been home by the time we got there, and since I didn't hear him come in during the time Naruto and I were in bed – chatting until sleep caught up with us – I knew he had gotten there pretty late.
I went to the bathroom and closed the door, immediately starting the task of brushing my teeth. As I looked at my reflection in the mirror, I realized I was feeling mildly lightheaded, but with a kind of positive, yet calm energy I couldn't quite place, like a silent euphoria gently bubbling underneath my skin.
It had been a while since I had felt that way, if ever at all, and it was pretty good.
Heaving a small, contented sigh, I turned on the shower faucet and started removing my clothes, placing them neatly over the bidet before stepping inside and closing the stylish, plastic grey curtains. I wasted no time in getting myself under the soothing and warm spray of water, letting it drench the top of my head first before sliding down the rest of my body. As I closed my eyes, I allowed my muscles to relax. It was pure bliss.
Truly, the previous day had been one of the best in a long time. First, the amazing experience of being painted and photographed by Orochimaru-sama himself; then that long, exhausting but really fun day I had spent with Naruto, and finally, that little detail at the end of the day that had really been the cherry at the top of the cake.
Remembering what had happened the previous night reminded me exactly why Naruto and I had neither finished watching the show, nor stayed longer so I could introduce him to the band. I had actually forgotten about it, since we had both been so overwhelmed and enraptured by each other that I think neither of us really cared. We had wanted nothing more than to be together and assimilate everything happening.
It was weird for me to find myself starting to sink so deeply in that relationship, and worst of all (or best of all), I genuinely had high hopes for us, which was a good thing, but also something that intimidated me because, if for some reason things got out of control and Naruto and I broke up, it would be hard on me. I wouldn't be heartbroken, per se, because I was still in the stage where I was infatuated with him, with us, yet not exactly in love, but it would make a difference in my life as it was at the time. A huge difference.
I liked the fact that Naruto and I were becoming closer, not only as lovers, but also as friends. There was a new dynamic in the way we interacted with each other that was far more open, far more at ease than before, and that bond was quickly becoming important to me.
I found myself frowning at the realization that I wasn't really ready to let go of the high provided by the weekend. It was kind of painful to know that we would have to go back to pretending we weren't more than friends, and I wasn't really looking forward to those hiding games whenever we wanted to get together. Not that it wasn't exciting in a way, but having been able to be a normal couple out in the open had felt better than what I had imagined. Still, it was too soon to let people know – I knew that there would be a lot of unnecessary chaos, not to mention that we were still feeling the ground beneath our feet for the time being. Although, I considered, feeling my lips curve in a small smile, things were definitely looking good.
It still amazed me how strong the pull Naruto had on me was, and even though I had no idea where it had come from, I was becoming less fearful from day to day, and increasingly more confident, as well as eager. In my mind, there seemed to be no limits as to where we could go as a duo.
I felt my cheeks burn up at my own thoughts, as my brain was courteous enough to provide me with several flashbacks of the events of the night before.
I placed my right hand in front of the tiles in front of me, my muscles tensing automatically at the memories. That had been good. In fact, it had probably been the craziest, most impulsive thing I had ever done sexually, but it had felt right, the intensity of it intoxicating, addicting. It had been all about feeling, giving and taking (or the other way around), and it had been amazing.
Just thinking about Naruto blowing me was enough to make sparks of arousal create goose bumps all over my skin, and I swallowed hard, not really fighting the quick reaction of my body to the mental images.
I vaguely wondered if it would be a good idea to get out of the shower fast and take a chance at molesting Naruto awake, but then thought better of it and decided that it was probably a bad idea, what with Itachi sleeping in the room next door.
I could remember Naruto's hands on me clearly, and the way his body had felt against mine, the way it ached for me, responded to me…
I could recall the low, lustful timbre of his voice and his hungry lips over mine, nibbling on my skin, sucking…
I opened my eyes and tilted my head down, blinking the water away from them only to confirm that I was already shamelessly hard and feeling a bit dizzy because of it. It wasn't the first time I had gotten hard thinking about Naruto, but while before I only had our make out sessions and my imagination to fuel my fantasies, now I had something real, which brought a whole new dimension to it.
I bit my lip, contemplating my eager erection with my heart beating a little faster from anxiousness.
Fucking hormones, and fucking Naruto.
Before I could stop myself, my fingers were already encircling my cock firmly, even if my brain was telling me that jerking off in my brother's bathroom was a terrible idea. I hissed a bit at the sensation, but quickly swallowed the moan of pleasure that threatened to escape my throat as I not so gently began moving my hand, because I knew I wasn't going to last long.
"You better not be jerking off in there."
If I were a person who did such a thing as yelping, I would have done it, but instead, my body became rigid with shock, and all l could do was to turn around as fast as the speed of light and push the curtain to the side to peek outside and see that Itachi was in front of the sink, wearing only his black pyjama pants, calmly squishing toothpaste on his toothbrush.
My cheeks caught fire in my overwhelming urge to either throw a tantrum or to dig a hole to bury myself in.
How long had he been there?!
"What the hell are you doing here?!" I snapped, my voice sounding a bit hysterical, to my horror.
"Last time I checked, I lived here and this was still my bathroom," Itachi said casually, eyeing me from the corner of his eye with a quirked eyebrow.
"But I'm fucking showering!" I yelled embarrassingly, frustrated that he had effectively made my previous raging erection go soft in just a few seconds. "Can't a guy have some privacy?!"
"I changed thousands of your diapers when you were a baby, and just yesterday I saw more of you than any person should see, so I don't know why you're so flustered," he replied, before offering me a knowing, devilish smirk. "You were jerking off, weren't you?"
"Oh, fuck you!" Feeling angry and embarrassed beyond myself, I pressed my lips viciously together and closed the curtain violently, my muscles trembling in frustration and mortification.
What the hell? Couldn't a person have a little bit of time to himself anymore?
I hurriedly washed and rinsed myself as quickly as I could, fuming all over. Once I was finished, I turned off the water only to have someone's hand peeking through the tub's curtain, holding a towel for me. I snatched it away with a growl and wrapped it around my waist.
When I snatched said curtain to the side, I found my brother still there, calmly finishing shaving, accompanied by none other than my eccentric cousin, Shisui, who was, for the record, also very calmly taking a piss.
"What the hell?!" I hissed, not really knowing if I should be shocked at the overcrowded place or at his presence. "What is this, a bathroom conference?!"
"Hello to you, too, baby cousin," Shisui greeted happily, looking over his shoulder and beaming at me, the silvery piercing in the corner of his lower lip gleaming. He was wearing nothing but black boxers, his back completely covered by the tattoo of a glowing red phoenix with its wings spread out over his shoulder blades. His short dark hair was a complete mess, sticking out form every single direction.
"I went to the club yesterday, hoping to catch you and Naruto there," Itachi explained, sliding his razor over his shaving cream covered cheek without looking at me. "It turned out you were already gone, so I hung out with Shisui instead."
"One thing led to the other, and I ended up crashing here," my cousin said, purposefully sounding like he was hinting something for some reason, tucking himself in and flushing the toilet. "It's not polite to leave without even saying hello!" He added, turning to me with an offended look. "The rest of the guys wanted to meet the boyfriend, too."
I swallowed hard, mortification and guilt quickly replacing my initial anger.
"We ended up being distracted, so we left," I explained, not sure about why I was being honest instead of making something up.
"Judging by those hickeys, I can almost guess what kind of 'distraction' we're talking about," Itachi felt the need to comment, his reflection eyeing me through the mirror. His words made me feel self-conscious, and I quickly brought a hand to my neck defensively, ferociously holding my towel together so it wouldn't fall.
Shisui whistled, coming over to me to inspect me curiously. "Wow, someone definitely got lucky last night," he commented, with a sly grin. "Way to go, dude!"
I couldn't help but roll my eyes, even thought my cheeks felt way too hot, to my infinite horror. "Shisui, please shut up."
"No, I'm just, like, completely blown away!" My cousin pressed on, patting my shoulder approvingly. "I mean, I knew you were a ladies' man, but to expand your horizons like that, seriously, you have my respect."
Oh, fuck; just what I needed.
"I'm not expanding my horizons!" I defended, frowning as my anger resumed to resurface. "Why are we even talking about this? And how..."
"Oh, please, I could see you two sucking each other's faces off from the stage," Shisui dismissed, eyeing me knowingly. "By the way, is your boyfriend who I think it is?"
"Yes, it's exactly who you think it is," Itachi intervened, and I threw him a look that he missed because he had just finished shaving and was washing his face.
"Aw, that's just awesome!" Shisui cooed, his excessive happiness making me feel sick and annoyed beyond myself for so many reasons. "Remember what I always used to say when they were kids?" He added to Itachi, who was drying off his face with a towel but still managed to make an affirmative noise.
"What was that?" I snapped.
Shisui ruffled my hair mysteriously. "I love being right."
"Hey, don't say stuff and then be secretive about it!" I grunted, slapping his had away, not without a bit of disgust that he was touching me with hands that had just touched his own private parts.
"Chill, man, just chill," the rocker said, while laughing at my obvious discomfiture. "What crawled up his ass, 'Tachi?"
"He was jerking off and I interrupted him," Itachi said casually, hanging the towel on its rightful place and turning to lean his back against the sink, arms crossed over his chest in evident amusement at my and our cousin's interaction.
"That's nasty, Itachi!" Shisui exclaimed, with malicious delight. "You evil person, you."
"I know."
"Man, what the hell, are we having a party here or something?" Naruto's voice grumbled before his figure appeared at the threshold. He was rubbing at his eyes sleepily, his hair a tangle of golden, messy locks.
And I couldn't believe what was happening. Soon enough we'd be having a fucking picnic in a place more than overcrowded.
"Naruto-chan!" Shisui beamed, turning immediately on his naked heels with open arms, almost hitting Itachi as he quickly made a move to hug Naruto. "It's been forever!"
My boyfriend seemed confused and taken aback by the assault, his blue eyes eying me over Shisui's naked shoulder with a slight fright in them before his brain registered the brief glimpse he had had of the figure.
"Shisui-nii!" he mumbled back, looking surprised while pushing the older man a bit away from him, but smiling all the same. "Oh, shit, it just has to be fate, man! We went to your show yesterday!"
"I know! But you didn't even come to greet me!"
A little bewildered, I watched as they easily started an overly excited chat, right there, in the middle of the bathroom, Itachi watching the exchange as if really, socializing in such a place was completely normal.
Even though Shisui spending the night wasn't exactly unusual, the way everything around us seemed to turn completely away from what was considered normal by human standards was something I wasn't sure I could ever get used to. He was the same cheery, loud and bright person Naruto was, and yet, the blond idiot had never seemed more normal to me.
Huffing in annoyance, I made my way out of the bathroom, more than happy to leave the focus on Naruto, who didn't seem to mind.
Naruto's POV
Sasuke's mood had been a little sour all morning, but that was probably because of the fact that Shisui and Itachi insisted on teasing him about jerking off in the shower during the breakfast we had at a nice café near the apartment. I felt compelled to join the teasing, but decided against it, choosing to be on Sasuke's good side instead.
Apparently, Shisui was coming back with us because he wanted to visit Sasuke's parents, and since Itachi had to work the next day, he had to return to Tokyo that night, which meant we had to leave as soon as possible.
I knew we had to leave that day, I just wasn't expecting it to be so soon.
Both feeling a little dejected, Sasuke and I went back to the apartment to get things ready while both elder Uchiha waited for us at the café.
When Sasuke slammed the door of his room closed and suddenly pushed me towards the bed, I only managed to gasp slightly before he was on top of me, knees nudging my legs so I could spread them, which I did, feeling my heart speeding up and my throat tighten. He easily settled himself between my legs, his eyes watching me intensely before letting his body fall over mine completely, our lips joining in silent understanding in a wet, open-mouthed kiss.
Even though I knew we should hurry before someone came up to check on us, my hands seemed to move on their own to touch his back underneath his t shirt, my legs instinctively wrapping around his waist to pull him closer. When the fingers of both his hands gripped the top of my head possessively and he pressed his hips down roughly so our clothed and evident arousals could rub together, I became lost and couldn't care about anything else, not when it might be a while before we got to do something like that again.
I found that we were too worked up already to think about removing clothes – probably because we really had to be quick and the sense of impending longing and loss was a little too overwhelming. Still, his teeth biting at the curve of my neck, his breathing against my skin, the warmth of him, the way his body moved over mine, grinding down with ease and simultaneous carelessness – everything about him was more than enough to throw me over the edge not long after we had started.
Sasuke's mobile phone rang somewhere in the middle of it, but the sound was distant and not distracting enough to make us stop.
I came in my underwear while whispering his name in a suffocated moan, thrusting my hips upward for more contact, and he followed a few seconds later, huffing a shaky breath against my mouth, seeming to fight my own movements with erratic eagerness.
Once we were done, we kissed and touched languidly for what felt like hours until my body began to feel the terrible weight of his and I could barely breathe, and until our underwear began to feel unavoidably uncomfortable.
Both in a considerably better mood, in spite of the atmosphere of solemnness around us, we quickly cleaned up, changed our soiled clothes into clean ones and got everything ready.
When we grabbed for our stuff and Sasuke held my hand in his, I couldn't help the happiness I felt at the new sense of intimacy that simple gesture provided.
It wasn't like I had suddenly fallen head over heels for him just because we had been intimate, but somehow, it felt like something was slowly beginning to build up inside of me for him, some sort of strong, but still tenuous empathy that linked us together. It wasn't just the friendship, or the physical attraction – it was something more, like the start of a new psychological awareness. I couldn't really explain it, but it was something that actually felt more important than any kind of sexual interaction.
I could just tell that Sasuke felt it, too. I could tell that things were going to be slightly different from then on, hopefully for all the good reasons. I knew that bad moments would come, eventually – what healthy relationship doesn't have its ups and downs? – but I wasn't scared. In fact, all I wanted was for Sasuke to realize our potential as soon as possible.
I really wanted to see what he would be like when in love, because already he was becoming exactly the type of person I wanted for myself.
I knew he was in love just then, but not with me. At that same moment, his heart was loving someone; someone he couldn't and didn't want to love.
A tiny bit jealousy for that unknown person started assaulting me for the first time.
If Sasuke were to ever admit his feelings to that individual, would she really reject him? It seemed impossible that anyone would ever reject someone like him, so desired – the perfect catch.
Really, what was he thinking?
It didn't matter, though, because he chose to be with me over being with the person he loved, so to know that he was devoting his faith, his hope to me, was more than enough for my jealousy to be quelled.
He had chosen me. He was accepting me. He was relying on me, trusting me, and wanting me.
And I wanted him to fall for me so hard that that person would become nothing but a blurry image, buried deep within the confines of his memory. It was a selfish desire, but I couldn't help but be curious. Would it always be that perfect if we fell for each other? Would we change? Would we become cheesy and romantic? Somehow, thinking about it made me want to snort, because I couldn't really picture either of us being any different from what we were.
Still, it was something I really wanted to be able to see, to experience for myself. How would Sasuke be if… no, when he fell in love with me?
How would he look to me, then, if already I saw him as something almost too right for me?
In a way, picturing it was intimidating, but still exciting.
I was woken up from my musings by lips being pressed to my cheek.
"Stop daydreaming about how perfect you think I am, already," he teased smugly against my cheek, before offering a small lick, his free hand turning the door's doorknob. "There's more where that came from, you know?"
I rolled my eyes at him, refusing to acknowledge that he had hit the target dead on, even if as a joke. "Don't get cocky," I replied, as he opened the door. "I already used you to relieve my needs, now I'll leave you drying for another month, like you did to me. Payback's a bitch."
He laughed and leaned away, shaking his head from side to side. "We'll see."
000
Of course, Shisui had to tease us into oblivion for our lateness.
The ride back to our hometown was spent with Itachi and Shisui in the front seats, talking to each other about their work, the topics highly interesting, but I was too lost in thoughts of Sasuke and me, and of what was going to become of our relationship from then on. Nothing would change, but at the same time, now that things had become more intense, everything was going to become more frustrating.
I was thankful that we could share the backseat. We held hands during most of the time, sometimes exchanging a few words about the upcoming week, or about this or that song that was playing on the radio – no CDs this time – but mostly we were silent. We played Sudoku on my mobile phone. Sometimes we smooched and Itachi would clear his throat, or Shisui would throw something at us, like his pack of cigarettes or some piece of fancy Rockstar jewellery he was wearing.
It seemed like time had gone by too fast, because next thing I knew, it was a little after lunchtime and Itachi's car had stopped in front of my house, forcing me to acknowledge that I was going back to real life.
When I kissed Sasuke goodbye, the other two remained blissfully silent.
"I'm going to miss sleeping with you," I muttered with a pout, joining our foreheads together, one of my hands caressing his nape. "It's going to feel lonely from now on."
"If you managed to sleep without me for seventeen years, I'm sure you'll be just fine," he said simply, smiling at me. "Call me later?"
"Yeah."
I gave him one last peck and thanked Itachi for everything. I exchanged phone numbers with Shisui, who then winked at me and stuck out his tongue at me, effectively showing his yellow piercing in a joyous mood. Seriously, from his looks, that guy was undoubtedly an Uchiha, and yet, he behaved differently from every Uchiha I had ever met. Not that I had met many.
When I got home, my mom greeted me with a loud exclamation and a bone crushing hug. After that, she promptly demanded to see her souvenirs with a serious, almost threatening face, as if telling me she'd kill me if I had forgotten to get her something.
Dad and she insisted that we had to celebrate my birthday all the same, because we did that every year, and we couldn't let our simple customs die. Mom had actually even baked a chocolate cake for me and everything, so the three of us spent the rest of the afternoon drinking tea and eating it at the kitchen table while I told them how my experience in Tokyo had been.
Dad knew all about the big city, since he often had to go there for work, but mom kept asking questions – most of them I couldn't really answer because, truth be told, I hadn't seen all that much of Tokyo – and wanting to know how Itachi's place was like and if I had seen Itachi being attacked by crazy fans. Dad kept on frowning at her, and I felt sorry for him. I knew my mom loved him like crazy, but her excitement for Itachi – even if, I was sure, it was nothing but a normal crush over a celebrity she actually knew – was highly inappropriate.
I told them all about Sasuke's photo shoot and how he had planned such a great day for me. Of course, I stayed silent about our little intimate indiscretion the day before, but I supposed I had talked in an overly excited way without noticing, because my parents actually exchanged a look and smiled at each other.
"It's so good that you and Sasu-chan are getting along!" My mom said, clapping her hands enthusiastically, oblivious to the fact that there was a piece of chocolate cake glued to her cheek.
"Sasuke and I always got along," I defended, trying not to laugh. "Only sometimes we didn't, and still don't."
"But the two of you do seem to have somehow gotten closer," dad mumbled, stabbing the chocolate cake on his plate and throwing a teasing smile at me, also somehow enjoying the sight of my mom's face. "And a little fly around the shop might've let out that the two of you have spent an unusual amount of time at the warehouse."
That fucking Sai.
"Sasuke's been helping me out with my homework!" I protested, feeling my cheeks burn with sudden embarrassment.
"I don't see your grades improving," mom noted, punching my arm reproachfully. "I didn't know Sasu-chan liked boys, though."
"He doesn't!" I denied, firmly, wondering how the heck the conversation had travelled down such paths. "It's just studying!"
"Sure, it is," my dad replied, not seeming convinced.
Was the world out to get me or something?
The day went by easily in the company of my parents until I remembered that I still had homework to do.
Aggravated at how my weekend was going to end, I climbed the stairs to my room with heavy steps, wishing I could go to Sasuke's and just beg for his help, but then I decided that it would probably be inadequate, not to mention that, after the events of the last couple of days, I would most likely be distracted and want to do anything but homework.
Sasuke's POV
The window in my room – the tallest of the house, situated in the attic – gave me an easy access to the roof. All I had to do was swing one leg over it and my foot would find its stable surface. I often went there to think, to listen to some music through my iPhone or to smoke, mostly when my parents were asleep. That afternoon, I had decided that the weather was mild enough for it to be a pleasant place for me to finish my homework, especially because Shisui was incredibly loud, effectively infecting my mother, who always tended to be noisy when he was around. As if one noisy person wasn't enough already.
By the time I finished schoolwork, the sun was setting over the houses in my quiet and neat street, the sky painted in gorgeous tones of orange.
As I smoked one much needed cigarette and browsed through my history book resting over my lap to check if there was something I could study I didn't already know, I wondered if Naruto was doing his homework as well or if he was slacking off – which was the most likely answer. Still, if indeed he had decided to get some work done, he might be struggling with something.
I inhaled from my cigarette, my eyes focusing on the horizon while I contemplated if I should call him and ask if he needed help.
Just as I expelled the smoke, I heard movement in the room behind me and quickly smashed my cigarette on one of the tiles underneath me, scared that one of my parents might find me.
"Sasuke?"
"Shit," I hissed, mourning my half-smoked cigarette as soon as I recognized Itachi's voice. "Yeah, I'm on the roof."
I felt a presence behind me and looked over my shoulder to see my brother at the window, peeking down at me. "Mom says dinner will be ready in fifteen."
"Yeah, I'll be there in a minute," I muttered, closing my book and fetching the improvised cardboard ashtray I had left beside me to drop the wasted cigarette there.
"Can I join you?" he asked.
I tensed for barely a second before muttering a small "Sure."
Ignoring the way too loud sound – or so it seemed – of Itachi climbing the window and coming outside, I gathered my books and writing supplies and piled them up neatly before setting them on my right, just as Itachi sat down on my left.
"Were you studying?" he inquired matter-of-factly, crossing his legs Indian style. I wasn't looking at him, but I could feel his curious eyes on me.
"Just doing my homework," I replied, pulling my legs to my chest. For some reason, he had decided that sitting close to me was a good idea – even though the reclined roof was huge – meaning that our sides were touching, his arm pressed against mine. It was highly uncomfortable for me, but there was something inside me that didn't allow me to move away.
"Need help?"
"Thanks, but I already finished it."
Itachi nodded and looked away. I looked at him from the corner of my eyes, seeing him contemplate the scenery in front of us. The soft breeze tainted the air with the smell of his cologne and I had to swallow hard to keep my body from reacting to it.
"Sasuke, can we talk for a bit?" he asked quietly, in a more serious tone.
"Yeah," I agreed, in an equal tone, even if I felt hesitant.
He was silent for a while, his hands fumbling absently with the hem of his jeans. "I just want to know if you're happy about your relationship with Naruto," he said carefully, still not looking at me. "Or better, if he makes you happy and… I don't know; if he gives you what you've been looking for?"
I didn't need to think a lot to know what he meant and to process that he knew that, during the time I had been dating on and off, I had been looking for something.
The thought was unsettling on many levels, but I was decided to not let it affect me.
"Yes, he really does," I muttered. "I know it's surprising and all that, and it's been a pretty new experience to me, but I feel accomplished in ways I didn't before."
He nodded again, solemnly, and sighed. "That's good," he said, sounding genuinely relieved. "I can't help but feel jealous of him, though."
I effectively stopped breathing, not really caring if he noticed or not.
Jealous? Itachi was jealous of Naruto?
Why?
I felt like letting out a dry laugh at the irony of it. Even if he was just being normal, Itachi's words had been spoken without any kind of malice or second intentions, I couldn't help but to think that, really, some things were pretty surprising and just couldn't be explained.
"Do you dislike me?" Itachi asked suddenly, turning to me so quickly that I was startled for a while, seeing that his face had come alarmingly close.
I blinked, taken aback by the question, not able to move.
"Of course not!" I assured, finding it very hard to breathe. "What makes you think that?"
"You haven't changed, but your attitude towards me has changed," he said, in barely a whisper. "I don't know what happened, but you need to tell me what I've done wrong so I can apologize and fix it."
All I could do was chew on my lower lip, wanting to look away, to evade his attentive, demanding stare but not being able to, instead finding my eyes unable to leave his. Everything about me felt like a living contradiction, and I hated how the fact that our faces were close also made me want to do two, very distinct and opposite things. Thankfully, my rational side knew that the safe choice was to not move at all.
"You haven't done anything wrong," was all I could say, hating how impassive my voice sounded.
"Liar," Itachi accused, narrowing his eyes and placing a hand over the curve of my neck, a gesture meant to trap me. He fell silent at first, as if evaluating my reaction, but in spite of the chills that ran down my spine at the contact, I didn't even flinch. Then he licked his lips and proceeded. "You may not believe it, but you are the most important thing in the world to me. I could lose everything and everyone, but I'd be fine as long as I had you."
His eyes scanned my features again, a curious but sad expression I couldn't understand filling them. "We used to talk about everything, no exceptions. You used to rely on me. You're slipping away from me, Sasuke. I've been aware of this for a while now, and no matter what I do to get through to you, you're drifting away. I don't know how to stop it."
I could tell that he was trying to keep his voice cool, steady, but it was dripping with sadness and a hopelessness I hadn't been ready for. Knowing he had also been suffering from that change in our relationship made me feel guilty, but Itachi had always been that simple, peaceful person that always seemed unaffected by the world in general, and even though he had dropped hints here and there, I hadn't been sensible enough to understand that he was trying to let me know it was affecting him, too.
My hand moved on its own to press itself against his chest, feeling his not so steady heartbeat. My palms itched with the urge to push him away or to do the exact opposite, and since I didn't really trust myself, I preferred to keep them still.
"You're exaggerating," I mumbled feebly. "Just because I've grown up and don't feel like telling you everything, or depending on you for every single thing..."
"I just want to be there for you like I always have," Itachi interrupted firmly. "I just want to go back to the way we were. We used to be so close. Something like that doesn't change from night to day, Sasuke. Something must've happened."
I swallowed hard, and all of a sudden, my mouth opened and I couldn't really stop the words from coming out. "I don't see you the same way as I did before," I replied, without thinking. After that, I shut mouth reflexively, causing my teeth to clank.
There, I had said it. The admission made me feel lighter, yet unsure. Again, I had no idea what I expected to accomplish with it.
"I'm not sure I understand," Itachi muttered clearly having a hard time reading me.
This time, I really did let out a short, mocking laugh.
My brother didn't seem to know how to process my words and actions. He was still staring at me, trying to figure me out. I could feel his heart beating faster under my fingers, his ribcage expanding and retracting a bit faster than usual. I couldn't find a suitable explanation for why it would happen to him, but I didn't delve on it too much because we had never really had this kind of conversation before. Our relationship had never once been in jeopardy.
"It's not you, or anything about you, it's me," I ended up saying, again, before I could even stop myself because, in a way, I needed him to know at least something about it. "I'm always feeling awkward, nervous and exasperated. I can't fucking breathe with you always there, wanting to play the parent and wanting to just be there for everything. I need space; I need privacy."
His lips parted slightly in surprise and realization. I wasn't sure about the look he gave me, but I was far beyond wanting to know his thoughts.
"I see," he said simply. Simultaneous relief and emptiness washed over me at his answer.
We were both silent, neither daring to move, but I had the distinct feeling that, for some reason, my words had upset him.
"Does this have to do with you not wanting to move in with me?" Itachi inquired carefully. After a while, he moved his hand so it was caressing my cheek now, the touch upsetting me, and yet, I couldn't move away from it.
I shrugged my shoulders helplessly. "It's part of it, yes," I muttered, my fingers clenching around the fabric of his red shirt. "But I meant it when I said I don't want to be a burden to you. I do want to finish high school in our hometown, go slow and do things the way I've been doing, and then think about my future."
My brother all but nodded understandably, heaving a sigh. I wondered exactly how much he truly understood when I had only expressed a very small part of my issues.
"What do you want me to be to you, Sasuke?" he inquired, once more asking an unexpected question, frowning in poorly concealed anxiousness, his eyes boring holes into mine. "Tell me and I'll be it."
I could do nothing but blink at him for a few seconds. My brain worked quickly with the many possible meanings behind his words, but coming from him, the outcome could only go one way.
For a moment, I wondered what he'd do if I said it to his face. He seemed so eager to understand me, so fearful that he might lose me that I couldn't help but question myself.
He might just walk away and never speak to me again. He might start to hate me, or feel disgusted by me, and even though something inside me was scolding me, telling me that I was crazy to even think about it because I knew he loved me, truth was, I started thinking if that wouldn't be better than this constant anguish.
No, it wouldn't. I didn't want him all over me all the time, but a life without him in it, being who he always was, seemed unimaginable to me.
It sucked that I had to be weak all over again in times when I was trying to grow stronger.
"I just want Itachi," I ended up saying, keeping my voice low. "I don't need anything else from you."
Itachi's eyes narrowed at that, as if he was trying to dissect my very soul with them, but I couldn't figure out what he was thinking at all.
"We should... start over, I think," he said, carefully. "We should… try to understand each other… on a different level, I suppose." I noticed his other hand shifting a bit, making him seem calculating, as if, all of a sudden, he wasn't sure how to interact with me, which, I guessed, was probably true. "I won't pressure you into coming to live with me anymore, or to be more attentive to your career. I will wait for you to come and talk to me when you need it. When you feel like you're ready to tell me what's on your mind, you can do it and I'll be there for you. I'll never judge you. You know that, right?"
Did I? What kind of things was he thinking about me to say something like that? There was no way he could know about me, not even being as smart as he was. No one would ever fathom the possibility.
"That sounds good to me," I agreed, simply, not really knowing what else to say. I couldn't just push him away from me, because, no matter what, losing him wasn't an option, even if, sometimes, I wondered if that wouldn't be for the best.
"Alright, then," he said.
We found ourselves staring at each other once again. The tension was supposed to have vanished now that we had talked, but instead it seemed like it had grown thicker, heavier, filled with even more questions and more things that needed to be said. It felt weird to realize that it came from both our parts, but thankfully, neither of us tried to press the subject further.
The silence was oddly deafening. I was very still, my body hurting from being twisted for so long, my palms sweaty and my muscles tense for being so close to him. Why was his heart beating so fast, anyway? I wondered if I should move away and break that uncomfortable contact once and for all, but his nose was brushing mine and I couldn't muster up the courage to do so.
I wanted to leave. His face was still alarmingly close to mine, and of course, I was the only one apparently disturbed by it.
I needed to get away from him, but I couldn't bring myself to hurt him and make things awkward and painful between us, because that's what would happen if I just pushed him away, I could just feel it.
I breathed in, slowly, the action excruciatingly difficult for something that is supposed to be innate to the human body.
I was only vaguely aware of his face moving even closer, his head tilting a bit to the side. Suddenly, it seemed like I couldn't see his face at all. My brain became clouded and I felt high, almost in a dream-like state. I felt something moist and slightly cool being pressed to the corner of my mouth in a gentle but firm way, as if making some sort of statement. I realized that Itachi's lips were probably supposed to be touching my cheek but instead were partially touching mine – a mistake, surely, a miscalculation of the distance – even if barely.
Those lips were slightly opened before closing, pressing a bit more, and then lingering for what felt like forever.
Itachi was kissing the corner of my mouth.
I couldn't wrap my mind around the action, my body frozen. Surely, I was dreaming, imagining it. There was a chaste feel to it, so there was no way that the action meant what I thought it meant, and probably no way that it had been real. He pulled away slowly, his lips making the smallest smacking noise as he did so.
I looked at him in bewilderment but he didn't look back at me, his eyes trained somewhere else on my face, my mouth, or my nose, I couldn't tell.
The tips of his fingers brushed my jaw carefully and I still couldn't move. "We should go," he said plainly.
Without saying another word, he let go of me completely and I felt my fingers uncurl from around his shirt automatically, barely realizing I was doing it at all before letting my hand fall heavily to my lap. Itachi then got up and simply left, not bothering to check if I was following after him.
In a daze, I stared at the place where he had just been, feeling oddly numb.
Not real, I assured myself, refusing to dwell on it, because there was no point I had imagined it; all of it.
I sat there, staring into space, willing oblivion to strike me until my mother's voice called me to dinner. Like a robot, going on autopilot, I grabbed my things, and went inside.
It couldn't have been real.
TBC…