CHAPTER TEN
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April 2009
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Hermione took the potion at around 9 o'clock that night as she lay with Sirius on the couch, a book in hand and pain potions within easy reach. Sirius had promised not to leave her overnight, meaning it would be the first time since their relationship changed that they would actually sleep in the same bed. As odd as it may seem, Hermione had always insisted on keeping their seperate rooms, at least until they were further into their relationship, but tonight Sirius had point blank refused and she was glad of it, not wanting to be in pain alone.
She felt the effects of the potion within the first hour as her body instinctively curled in on itself and she ended up in the foetal position on the couch, her eyes watering and face screwed up from the pain. Sirius, as wonderfully perceptive and patient as ever, had merely massaged her back and given her a pain potion as he watched over her.
"Sirius?" She gasped suddenly and he snapped his attention to her, looking worried, "can you run me a bath? A hot one?"
"Of course," he smiled softly, "want me to carry you up?"
"You don't have to do that," she said, wincing, "I can manage."
"I know you can, but let me look after you, kitten," he murmured, standing up and bending to scoop her up, "arms around my neck, love."
Hermione wrapped her arms around his neck and closed her eyes as Sirius carried her upstairs, sitting her on the closed lid of the toilet, running the bath and telling her to get undressed before disappearing from the room. He came back a couple of minutes later when Hermione was completely undressed, carrying one of his old band t-shirts and a pair of his boxers.
"What's that for?" She asked, a small smile on her face and he shrugged.
"I've been around enough women in my lifetime to know that comfy clothes are an absolute must during that time of the month," he said, casting a stasis charm on the bath water before scooping her up and lowering her into the water, smiling as she groaned in relief and sitting himself down next to the bath, "so you have the privilege of using my comfort clothes."
"Thank you, Sirius," she sighed, raising a hand and running it through his hair, "aren't you getting in?"
"This one's just for you, love," Sirius smiled, taking her hand from his head and kissing her palm, "I'm just here to provide conversation and something pretty to look at."
"Git," she snorted, "I honestly never knew you had this other side to you."
"Neither did I," he grinned, "something about you brings out this insane caring streak in me."
"It's not insane, Sirius," she laughed, "I love this side of you."
"And the other side?" He smirked, raising his eyebrow as she winced, gently lowering his hand into the water and rubbing her stomach in a soothing circular pattern.
"I love all of your sides, Sirius," she sighed, his massaging fingers soothing her pain quite effectively, "I'm falling in love with you, did you know that?"
"I assumed, to be honest," he shrugged, "I feel the same."
She smiled at him and put her hand into his, the one that was resting on the rim of the bath, as they lapsed into a peaceful silence, neither feeling the need to fill it. Her womb was indeed incredibly painful, as expected, but somehow with Sirius here she felt more able to tolerate it. One thing was for sure, though. It would be a very restless night for them both.
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A week later, Hermione and Sirius were back in the healers office to receive the results of her tests. Hermione's knee was bouncing nervously as the healer read through her paperwork and she felt Sirius put his hand on her knee and looked over at him to see him smiling softly at her.
"I have both good news and bad," the healer said suddenly, causing Hermione to whip her head around and frown at her, "the bad news first? Alright, well it appears that your main issue, other than the scarring which you already took the potion for, has been hormonal."
"What does that mean?" Sirius asked and the healer smiled.
"It means that Hermione's body isn't producing the needed amount of hormones to enable her to conceive." She said gently and Hermione gasped, causing the healer to look at her.
"However, there are potions you can take that will force the production of these hormones, should you wish to try for a baby," she said, smiling at Hermione whose eyes widened as she dug her nails painfully into Sirius' hand, "as long as you take the potion throughout pregnancy, you should be able to have children, Hermione."
Hermione didn't fight the tears as they welled up in her eyes, covering her face with her hands as she began to sob, overwhelmed by both relief and shock. It had been such a simple solution, all of this time, and she briefly thought that if she'd come for tests earlier, she might have a baby right now, but then realised that if that had happened, she wouldn't have Sirius. It was strange how life worked out.
"Hermione?" Sirius said gently and she felt his hands come to hers and pull them from her face, "Are you ok?"
"Yes," she gasped, taking a deep breath, "I'm shocked, relieved and overwhelmed, but I'm ok."
"Do you have any questions, Hermione?" The healer asked and Hermione turned to her, wiping her face.
"This potion, do I need to take it before we start trying?" She head Sirius choke next to her and smirked over at him, "if we start trying."
"It takes about a month before the potion builds up in your system," the healer said, chuckling, "so just make an appointment to see me when OR if you've made a decision and we'll get you all set up."
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Sirius was quiet for the remainder of the afternoon and evening, to the point that Hermione actually began to feel guilty about being happy. Eventually, when she could no longer ignore the strange atmosphere, she cornered him after his shower and locked them both in the bathroom.
"Why the bloody hell are you being so weird, Sirius?" She demanded and he sighed, closing the lid of the toilet before sitting down with his elbows on his towel covered knees.
"I'm trying to imagine life as a father." He sighed quietly and Hermione gasped, crossing the room and kneeling in front of him.
"And?"
"And it's strange, difficult, complicated and I can't help dreading that I might turn out like my own father," he said, sadly and Hermione frowned, pushing his wet hair from his face, "but for the first time in my life, it doesn't absolutely terrify me."
"Oh," she gasped, "isn't that…. Isn't that a good thing?"
"I have no idea!" He laughed, throwing his hands out to the sides, "and that alone is scaring me."
Hermione sighed and lifted herself up until they were the same height and put her arms around his neck, rubbing his back comfortingly.
"I'm not going to tell you I don't want children, Sirius," she whispered, before pulling back and looking into his eyes, "but if or when the time comes, it's a decision we make together. I won't force you to have a baby with me, definitely not for a couple of years at the least."
"I can't ask you to give up on wanting kids for me, kitten," he sighed sadly, "I just don't know what kind of father I'd make."
"We'll never know if we don't try," she shrugged, "you have Harry's kids to test your skills on."
"Are you sure you want to be with me, Hermione?" He asked and Hermione had to swallow a lump in her throat at the look of sadness in his eyes.
"You really think I wouldn't?" She asked, frowning.
"You know what the problem is now," he sighed, "you could work things out with Ron, or find someone who is sure that they want children one say or-"
"Will you shut up, you prat?" Hermione snapped, looking angry as she covered his mouth with her hand, "I'm here, with you, because it's where I want to be. I don't want to be with Ron or anyone else. Just you. For crying out loud Sirius, I love you!"
His eyes widened and she felt his jaw go slack under her hand at what she had just all but shouted at him. She now understood his worries, that she would want a baby and if he didn't it would tear them apart but she had been living without a baby this long and it wasn't as if her adopted family was short of children for her to dote on.
"Whether you want kids in the future or not, it is a decision we make together, Sirius. Are you listening? Me and you, Hermione and Sirius. Not Hermione and Tom, Dick or Harry. You." She said sharply and he nodded, so she dropped her hand and sighed, "I love you, idiot."
"You're sure?" He asked and Hermione screamed before she felt her lips on hers, grinning against her mouth, "I'm joking!"
"Git."
"I love you too." He whispered and she growled as she pushed her lips against his.