Hi! I know I haven't updated in over a month, but I sure hope this isn't too late? You've probably already noticed by now that the Spring Semester started up and I'm taking time-intensive courses so that is the primary reason of why I haven't been able to write. It's true, classes and sports take up so much of my time so, sorry, chapter updates will start coming real slow (until Summer I hope).
I'd like to thank child who is cool, Kurissss, klolo8, tank602, itrymybest, rawbbles, Adrian Aluran, pixiejazz, and DeadPetSparky for your awesome reviews! You guys are fantastic, I honestly thought I would never get even 20 and you've got me all over 50. That is WAY more than I could've ever asked for!
I hope you all enjoy this update, for some reason I feel iffy about it but maybe that's because I was struggling mid-way;;;
Anyway, I would like to dedicate this chapter to a fellow named Dakota. This update shall be his gift C:! Happy Valentines to you and everyone!
The Kogan Trilogy:: Falling is Like This
PART I- Falling is Like This
CHAPTER SIX:: Better Together
PART TWO: Our Dreams
Kendall was rather fond of Logan's dorm bedroom. He'd grown accustomed to spending time with the brunet there for the past two weeks.
It started out as a surprise on Monday afternoon. They'd joined for a quick lunch at the sandwich joint on campus after Kendall's American Government class, conversing about daily tasks and classes, before Logan was forced to say goodbye, splitting with Kendall for the day as he headed out for his early afternoon Algebra class. Or so he thought. The blonde was reluctant to go home for the day and spend it all alone so he ended up trotting on over to the dorms, waiting in the lobby for when Logan got back.
Ever since that day he's done the same. He'd wait for Logan to return after a period of time in which he had a class while he didn't and, afterwards, both the boys would go up to his dorm to spend the afternoon lounging around watching TV or studying. He'd stay there as long as possible before Logan would kick him out the door, chiding him at how irresponsible it would be if he drove home late in the night. Deep down he knew Logan enjoyed his company though and was reluctant to see him go anyway.
And because Logan didn't complain, didn't ever express any dislike at having him over, Kendall never felt guilty and showed up whenever he liked.
As small, unfurnished, and bleak as it was, Logan's bedroom felt like a home to him. He enjoyed being there.
Or maybe it wasn't the dorm room at all that compelled him to come each and every time. Maybe it was just the feeling and idea of living with Logan under the same roof, in a quiet place, solely the two of them.
He will admit he's been entertaining the thought for a while now. Sometimes, when he was stretched out on Logan's bean-bag reading, the brunet at his desk typing away, he'd even pretend that they were in a place of their own on a lazy Saturday afternoon. His mind would go off then, creating images of sharing a calm supper with the other boy, cuddling in front of a fireplace during cold winters, and settling down to sleep every night wrapped up in his arms.
But then Logan would say something and all of those visions would dissipate like smoke before his eyes, leaving him to silently chuckle at himself for letting his imaginations about the future run away from him again.
He'd really like to live with Logan someday though. Really.
"Algebra problems are done!" The brunet cheered as he tossed his pencil into the pen holder he had placed on a corner against the wall, spinning around to face the blonde that lay belly down on his bed. "So, how's your reading for your Comp class going?"
Kendall looked up from the handheld Nintendo DS he'd been playing with, small Writer's Purpose textbook tossed off to the side. He flashed a smile, "Already finished a long time ago."
"Someone's getting faster at reading his pages." Logan complimented as he walked over to take a seat on the bed comforters beside him.
"Nah, not really." The blonde flipped his game system shut as he rolled to settle his head in the shorter boy's lap, looking up at him through parted bangs. "The class was only assigned 10 pages."
"10 pages?" Logan gaped in disbelief, picking up the textbook and running his thumb along the edges. "Of this tiny little thing?"
"Jealous?" Kendall practically sang, smirk settled proudly on his face.
Logan set the book back down and scoffed, "Not even a bit. I'd take a more challenging course over your cake walk any day."
"Even something disgusting like College Algebra?"
"Genius," The brunet flicked his forehead, "You forgot I like math. Complicated equations are my friends."
"Well, I'm sorry, Mr. Numbers. I didn't mean to insult your hard-ass friends. Actually, can you tell them to be nice to me next semester?" Kendall gave a pout. "They were kinda mean and kept messing up my test scores."
Logan gave a chuckle at this. He was unable to resist those pink lips, bending down to peck him with his own before pulling back and adding a soft, "You bet."
The taller boy let out a happy sigh as he buried the side of his face into the other's folded legs, feeling giddy as he closed his eyes with a smile stretched from cheek to cheek. He couldn't possibly be more at peace. Here, in Logan's lap, atop his bed, doing nothing more than talking and exchanging short kisses.
Sure, he'd had to spend extra gas money to travel down to campus on a Sunday, sometimes even spend more for a meal when they wanted to eat out for lunch, but right now, lying calmly within Logan's grasp, it all seemed worth it. Just to feel his presence, to look into those café colored eyes, to share a hearty laugh, to spend just another minute of his life breathing in the same air he was—it all was worth the expense.
He'd do anything to remain by his side, to take in his beauty, every second he could.
His smile faltered then as his eyes opened worriedly, "Logan…"
"Hmm?" The shorter boy turned his gaze away from the window back to the boy below him. His eyebrows furrowed in concern at the blonde's expression, though he wasn't given much time to analyze it. His mind had only begun to churn in listing the possibilities, when his left hand was abruptly snatched up by the jock's own warm ones. His heart beat sped up at this, suddenly anxious for what he was about to hear.
"Stay with me for Thanksgiving?"
"Oh, geez, Kendall, you had me scared for a second." Logan breathed a sigh of relief. "I thought it was something serious."
The blonde frowned at this, "Being apart from me for 5 days isn't classified as "something serious"?"
"It's only 5 days. Of course I'll miss you, but it'll blow over quickly. You'll see."
"Sure it will."
"Kendall. Really, think about it. Would you rather me be away for a month?"
"No! But the point is, you're still going away and I won't be able to see you." Kendall admitted dejectedly. He truly hated that he wouldn't be allowed to see Logan over a break period where they had no school.
Lucky James and Carlos got each other for company over their Fall Break and then here he was, Kendall Knight, about to spend five days alone. Call him childish, but he was stuck in the mindset that it was entirely unfair.
Not to mention that within those five days was the Thanksgiving holiday. Honestly, how was he supposed to be thankful for everything he had when the most important piece of his life wasn't even going to be within arm's reach?
"You know I can't help it. I promised my parents I'd visit every holiday, it was part of the deal of leaving me here to live in the dorms." Logan reminded him as he attempted to soothe him with gentle strokes through his hair.
Kendall's lips were downturned in an obvious upset manner, eyes turning away to stare ay Logan's half-packed suitcase that lay in the corner by his desk. If only boring holes into it with his eyes would make it go away. How he wished.
He let out a groan, "Why'd your parents have to move to New York?"
"It could be worse. They could have taken me with them."
Kendall didn't seem to hear him and continued on in his self-rant, "This is ridiculous, if they'd stayed in the neighborhood you wouldn't have to fly out over hundreds of miles to a place where I can't reach you!"
Logan gave a chuckle at this, "You talk as if phones had never been invented."
"Physically. Reach you physically." Kendall corrected himself before adding quietly, "Hearing your voice isn't the same as being able to hold your hand."
He emphasized this by bringing their clasped hands up together where they were visible in both boys' line of vision.
Logan smiled at this, knowing for sure he'd miss their intimate touches, kisses included. Truly, even the thought of not seeing Kendall's bright face and mopped golden hair unnerved him because the blonde's presence had become such a regular thing.
He was a reassuring force, a kind spirit, a sturdy foundation, a welcoming home. All these reasons are what made it hard for him to go along with Kendall's attempt to distance them back in the early fall, why he'd pursued to fix it. Only now, he could imagine, their separation would certainly feel worse, especially knowing that Kendall wanted to spend just as much time with him as he did.
It was going to be rough. Never mind it being two days less than a week.
Logan offered a wry smile, "I'll admit you have a point."
Kendall immediately bought their tied hands to his chin, mostly just to feel the skin on the back of Logan's hands tickle the tips of his lips as he spoke. "Are you sure you can't back out on this one? Make it up to them on Christmas?"
"I can't." He gave a shake of his head. "I promised. Besides, aren't you the one who is always telling me that I should keep my promises?"
The blonde let out a long, disappointed sounding sigh. "Yeah…"
The short genius settled back into the pillows behind him then, eyelids fluttering as he gazed down at the boy that seemed intent in studying their hands with newfound precision. Every knuckle, every curve, every wrinkle was traced by his slowly moving pupils, lips pursed in concentration.
He could say he slowly found himself doing the same.
He wanted to remember how nicely Kendall's long fingers locked into the empty spaces between his own.
"Promise you'll text me every day?"
His eyes flitted upwards to meet the sharp ones of his significant other.
How easy the words "no" could have been said became two letters he dare not utter. He dare not think.
"I promise."
"Logan, you looked completely ridiculous!" A young man with tied up dark hair exclaimed this as he barked out another laugh that bounced off the walls of the corridor into the cool evening air of the quiet college campus.
Beside him walked the aforementioned, right hand clutching the one strap of his backpack that was slung messily over his shoulder. He rolled his eyes, long used to the sounds of laughs that was plagued him for the past half an hour. "Jake, it's not like you didn't look ridiculous either."
"Yeah, but you were the one that fell over." A different voice pointed out, a shorter boy with the darkest complexion of the group emerging from behind the two. He had black curly hair that cropped his boyish face nicely, bright white teeth blinding with that smug grin he wore.
"Accidents happen, Devon. No big deal."
"Guys, guys, now let's remember what the girls said." Kendall stepped in front of the group, halting them before clearing his throat and mimicked in a high-pitched voice, "It's okay! He fell over with grace!"
"All true ballet dancers fall over with grace!" The three of them completed in a chorus before breaking out into howls of laughter, clutching their stomachs and leaning onto one another for comfort.
"Ha, ha, ha, very funny." Logan dryly commented as he pushed his way past his math peers and his so called "boyfriend" that cared so much to be fanning the flames.
Honestly, he thought he deserved some bigger credit.
He'd actually put in some real effort in preforming pliés and pirouettes for the girl and her friend who were gathering volunteers in the Student Union plaza for her public speaking assignment on ballet. Most of the guys there, including Kendall and his two friends, had been stiff in their participation because they were slightly afraid of being humiliated in the video she was making. Thus the reason why Logan made sure to do his best. Yes, it'd caused him to fall over a couple times, but he'd probably gotten her some good footage as a truly active volunteer.
"Oh man, this is definitely better than the time Logan couldn't stop screaming during that ghost scene at the Horror Flick Night." Devon pointed out, only causing Jake and Kendall to try and hold back more laughs at the flashes of memory, resulting in various choking noises between stifled giggles.
Logan remained unamused, walking ahead of the other boys. "Okay, are we done poking fun at me yet?"
"Aw, come on Logie." Kendall jogged up to catch the shorter boy, wrapping an arm around his shoulders as their footsteps fell into sync. "You know we don't mean it, right?"
"Exactly." Jake agreed, coming around on his left as he gave the genius a brief clap on the back. "You're just the one out of all of us that the most interesting stuff happens to."
"So you mean, if something "interesting" happens to Devon we'll start laughing over that?"
"Yup."
"Hmmm."
Devon frowned up at the pondering brunet. "What are you planning?"
Logan flashed him a smile, "Oh, nothing, just a little something that involves you, stairs, some rope, and a video camera."
"Dude, and you're supposed to be the nicest out of us!" The shortest boy looked shocked as the other three laughed together.
The group went off chatting shortly about various other topics, mostly revolving around their plans for the Thanksgiving holiday before they found themselves in front of the building of the North Palm Housing Dorms. Jake and David then bid farewell to the other two as they separated off to get some much needed rest in their own rooms, only after Logan had insisted they needn't wait up for him as he would stay out to chat with Kendall for a bit longer.
That's how they ended up alone, facing each other in the dimly-lit courtyard, ending the day in the same way that they used to many times before at the beginning of the semester.
"You know, if you're still upset about us bothering you about your little incident today, I could let you watch a video of me singing in a talent show in middle school." Kendall offered in good sportsmanship. "It's "interesting" because I was going through puberty at the time and my voice kept cracking horribly."
Logan let out a laugh at the thought. "That would certainly be a good one to show the other guys."
"I'm not sure Jake and Devon could watch it with us."
"I see. Then it's all up to me to throw you the insults, huh?" Logan grinned at the thought of the prospect. "You better be ready."
"Not if I don't find a way to kiss you silent first."
"Oh, smart plan."
"Thank you." Kendall gave a gracious nod. "I do think through my moments of getting out of my childhood embarrassment well."
Logan shook his head, smile never faltering from his features as he took a moment to look up at the sky, appreciating the short pause of silence in the air. A peaceful silence graced by the comfort of Kendall's presence.
He blinked. Eyes lingering on eyeing the form of the many stars in the night sky above him, as he wondered how it was possible to just know, without even looking, that the blonde was looking up along with him and enjoying it as much.
When he lowered his head and turned it to the side, his suspicions were confirmed.
Kendall was quick to notice his partner's staring, bringing his attention back over to his face with a grin that displayed those straight white-teeth of his perfectly. It faltered when the brunet's eyes flickered downwards, reminding him. "So, I guess, this is where we say goodbye."
His heart thudded painfully in his chest, taking note that tomorrow was the day where Logan would fly out to visit his parents across the country.
"I don't want you to go…"
Logan looked up to meet his solemn gaze, giving him a look of sympathy as he wordlessly reached out and rested a pale hand on the side of his head. Kendall leaned into his touch, eyelids closing, prompting the shorter boy to curl his fingers and run it through the taller boy's blonde locks.
"See you in five days, Kendall." He whispered in voice so close to silence before he began to withdraw his arm.
The blonde's eyes snapped open then, as if being awakened from a steady trance, left hand snapping up to grab at his retreating wrist. Logan had gasped in surprise, the grasp of his arm tight, desperate as if holding to a life line.
He looked up, vision coming to clash with the blonde's eyes, they were soft yet shaky, a kind of expression you'd see on a child who didn't want to let go of a favorite toy that was being taken away. Snatched away without consent, it all felt no different to him with the brunet's parents taking him for the holidays.
"Please, Logan, please let me spend the night in your dorm. I promise I won't do anything, I-I just wanna spend with you what hours you have left here, please." He was begging, a small voice that sounded more like a whimper, practically bent over on his knees.
Logan's heart clenched, awfully.
This was one of those times where he couldn't help saying no.
"I can't… you know the dorm policy, no visitors until the weekend."
"Then let me take you to the airport tomorrow." Kendall fired back quickly, grabbing the shoulders of the boy who stood before him. "I'll be here to pick you up first thing for your early morning flight. Let me do that at least."
Logan smiled, even if Kendall didn't get what he initially desired, he somehow always found a way.
"Of course."
The blonde couldn't be any more grateful.
They were a well half-hour into their drive when Logan had begun to notice the level of tiredness that plagued Kendall Knight.
He wouldn't say it, no matter how many times Logan prodded at him, but it was obvious enough in the slouch he had sitting in the driver's seat and the way he would take one hand off the steering wheel to rub at his eyes which, at some points, fluttered shut for a second too long. If that wasn't enough, then the periodic yawns were and that was something he could not hide despite his futile attempts in covering a hand over his mouth.
"You didn't have to wait outside my dorm room two hours earlier." The brunet finally spoke, catching the blonde's attention mid-yawn. "You could have saved that time for sleep."
Kendall scoffed, "Two more hours would've done nothing."
"Aha," The brunet remarked, leaning in closer over his seat to the other. "So you admit you're tired."
"Yes, Logan, I am sleep deprived." Kendall admitted keeping his eyes plastered to the road, though he wanted to give Logan an eye roll as if to say "and what's the big deal". "And whether or not I had two more hours at my apartment would've solved nothing, I couldn't even sleep last night anyway. That's why I showed up at the time that I did, it gave me a piece of mind to know you were close, sleeping on the other side of the wall."
The brunet resisted the urge to blush, instead opting for a frown as he turned away to look outside the window murmuring, "You're crazy."
Kendall gave a smile at this, "I'm not crazy, just loyal."
"Crazy…" he heard Logan mumble, the adorability of his voice making him want to pull over and litter that shy face of his with kisses. Though now wasn't exactly the time, Logan had a flight to catch and he had enough trouble trying to keep the car from spinning off road enough as it was. He hoped the caffeine he drank would kick in soon, preferably before Logan turned to lecture him that he was way too tired to drive.
Luckily, the airport wasn't that much further away. They pulled into the parking lot right at the crack of dawn, the sky a nice shade of soft yellow and purple as the boys climbed out of Kendall's car, luggage in tow. They waltzed into the facility, Kendall following besides Logan with his larger bag trailing behind him and Logan's at his side lifted as a suitcase, the two boys making a beeline for check-in.
Once they were called to the front, Kendall found himself wishing that he too had a pre-paid information and passport to hand over to the woman behind the counter who was handing Logan his boarding pass.
All too quickly, the blonde found themselves coming to a stop in front of two very large see-through automatic sliding doors, people with suitcases being checked by security guards on either end before rushing in.
"Well, Kendall, this is as far as you and I can go together." Logan said as he looked up to the sign overhead the door that had the words "passengers only" underlined beneath the bold letters stating "National Flights".
The taller boy gave him a look of apprehension.
"Don't look at me like that." The brunet chided as he settled his carry-on right side up before turning towards the blonde and holding out his arms, "Come give me a hug."
He didn't need to be told that twice, the blonde wrapping his arms tight around the other boy's mid-section as he buried his head in his chest. He felt Logan hold him tight, humming soothingly, but right when he was starting to become comfortable, listening to a rhythmic beats of his partner's heart, he was being pulled away.
He must've had some type of hurt expression on his face because Logan had to explain, "They called over the intercom for my flight to begin boarding."
"Let me know when you get there?" He asked as he watched the other pull out his ticket and passport from his pocket.
Logan nodded, "Definitely."
The brunet had offered a wave, turning around on his heel to depart until he was yanked back by a sharp pull on his arm. He faced Kendall with question, the boy releasing his hold on his arm as he inquired, "No kiss?"
The brunet bit his lip, vision shifting left and right as he took in the sight of people crowded all around them. Not many were staring, many conversing through cell phones, and none were anybody that he recognized—but even so, Logan wasn't ready to openly express his relationship with the other boy yet.
"I would but, Kendall," He conveyed the worry he felt through a glance as he whispered, "there are too many people."
The other scanned the area and, Logan was sort of right, the airport was a busy place.
Still, he didn't want for the other to leave without at least a single departing kiss. That was highly unacceptable in his book. He also needed it because, well, they were simply sweet.
"Then let's go someplace where there aren't so many real quick—"
Logan shook his head, "There's not enough time."
Kendall could only stare, stare in a heartbroken trance at his lovely boyfriend before him who he wasn't going to get the pleasure of kissing goodbye to. No touch at all to remember him by and, just when he was about to step back to offer a casual wave in defeat, he noticed the way Logan nervously wrung his hands as his eyes darted around.
His eyebrows furrowed as he wondered what was going through the shorter boy's mind—was it an intense guilt?—and right when Kendall had opened his mouth to assure him that it was okay, that it wasn't his fault, he watched as Logan brought two fingers up to his lips and kissed it.
His eyes met Kendall's then before he held out the digits that he kissed to hover before the blonde's own lips and it clicked in the taller boy's mind what he was doing. He grinned widely, leaning his head forward to press his lips against the soft spot of those short pale fingers where Logan had kissed earlier.
"Goodbye." He'd added as he pulled back, giving the other boy a wave.
"Bye." Logan practically chirps as he grabs his small bag. Kendall watches as he makes his way over to the doors, security checking his pass briefly before allowing him to follow through in.
They exchanged one last smile through the glass and then they're off in their separate ways.
For the next five days anyway.