Note: Still getting closer, but not quite there yet... As always - thanks for reading and million thanks for the reviews :)

Chapter 10

"Just tell me the truth, David."

It was not an order, more a desperate plea.

David sadly looked up at battered woman. Dark fingerprints on delicate neck were clear reminders of his failure. If it wasn't for her own resentfulness, she would have died tonight. They both would have died. Only now full realisation of what had happened before his arrival was kicking in.

It was his fault. He had failed to protect them. Moreover, he was responsible for Lena, but did it justify him dragging Gillian in this mess and putting her life in a peril? It was a rhetorical question, because he already knew the disturbing answer. Nothing, never could justify that.

Gillian had been brightest spot in his complicated life, most genuine and meaningful relationship he ever had. He had walked out of her life never looking back, knowing well enough that it was for the best, but regretting the decision ever since.

In his heart he had never truly let her go. Walking away had been toughest thing he had ever done.

It was truth when he told her that last thing he expected in this job was to fall in love. Maybe only truth uttered out of his lips, because everything else had been lies. His real name was not David Aderton. In reality he was not a psychologist, at least not in a common sense of this word as he didn't held any diploma. He was psychologist taught by streets, criminals and life itself.

Memory from his confession during the escapade with Little Moon entered his mind.

I have had to pretend to be a scumbag my entire carrier. I've done a lot of things I'm not proud of. Murder is not one of them.

Only the first part of the confession had been true. And even that was a light version of it.

He knew that having someone so pure and innocent as Gillian in his life was too selfish. He would drag her to his level. Taint her.

And that was not the worst part. The worst part was the huge risk it would involve. He was too deep into this shit for way too long and had too powerful enemies.

Even if he left the work, moved to another place, another country he would never be free. The past would come back to bite him in the ass.

Furthermore, the darkness had put an ugly mark on his soul. One that could not be erased, could not be redeemed.

Over last year everything had gotten far worse. His way of thinking, behaviour had drastically changed, adapted to the environment. Maybe even too much adapted. The betrayal, enemies and death was around each corner and that was what he breathed for. What was the saying – act like a wolf, then become one.

Then Lena showed up in his life. Her parents were killed and if it wasn't for him, the girl would be dead too. He had to take care of the child, but usual channels were closed. He couldn't put her under police protection, couldn't even let anyone know who or where she was. The stakes were too high for both of them. He felt responsible for the kid and in a way felt sorry for her loss.

When he took unconscious girl from the mansion, David wowed to find her best care possible.

Only one person came into mind, only one person he trusted. Gillian.

He knew it was wrong to ask her help. Knew that the main reason behind his decision was low, even for him, but that didn't stop him anyway. He knew Gillian, knew that her kind and loving nature would never allow refusing his request.

If she only had said no, she wouldn't be in this mess. His mess.

He asked and she complied. With everything, even his demands that were exaggerating.

Extent to which she trusted in him was unbelievable. It was not that she didn't ask questions or was stupidly following; she just never really pressed, seeing how difficult whole half-truths thing was for him. Not until now.

He remembered the way Gillian stepped completely in front of the girl when he entered the dark room. The way she protected her was sight to behold. Deep love and care was seen in the woman's eyes as she looked at the girl and it warmed David's heart.

Hell! Why life had to be so complicated? He was really glad that Gillian had accepted Lena in her life, but at the same time was afraid of the cost she might have to pay. Gill's life was already turned upside down and most probably would never be the same without additional details he had withheld from her.

Gillian was right. She had a right to know.

On one hand the rules dictated that he had to withhold classified information, but on the other hand the same rules prohibited civilian involvement in secret operations. Thus David already had bet some of them. Hiding Lena at the hospital by using his private contacts was breach number one, involvement of Gillian – number two.

The truth was that up to now he truly believed that keeping Gillian in dark was safer for all of them. With all her good qualities, Gillian was a terrible liar.

But now, after everything that had happened tonight she deserved to know the truth. He just wasn't sure how much should be revealed.

Soft noise of sigh brought him back from the reverie.

"Gillian, I..." he started looking up at fragile form leaning against the doors.

Suddenly Gillian swayed and clenching eyes covered them with sweaty, slightly trembling palm.

Momentarily David was up supporting her weight which by the way was too light for his liking. Man's gut turned with guilt. Without doubt this too was his fault.

Gill kept her eyes shut and although weak in her knees didn't faint. David had never checked her head and therefore was unaware of the huge bump on the back of it. He also didn't know that concussion was playing tricks with her vision and vestibular system.

Thankful that David was guiding her, Gillian made it to the bed. If it wasn't for David's strong hold, she wasn't sure she would have made it and even less sure she would have hit the right spot as three edges of the bed were dancing before her eyes.

"Are you alright?" deep concern was eminent in David's voice.

"I'm fine." Gill replied more confidently than she felt. She knew she needed a hospital. She also knew that for some reasons Lena would not be safe there. More than anything she knew that there was no way she would leave the girl unguarded.

If the headache hadn't been so bad and Gill was more rational, she would have detected the lack of logic in her judgement. If she passed out or even worse – died there would be no one who could look after Lena. But it was fear and not logic that guided her now.

Until David explained what the hell was going on, she would not let Lena out of her sight.

Unfortunately her body had different agenda. Before reaching the destination Gill's vision blurred, knees gave away and she passed out.

Concussion combined with execution won the battle over will.

David caught and gently put her on the bed.

Sitting on the bedside, he reached forwards and lightly traced the outline of her face. Without lines of worry and fatigue she looked a lot younger and even more fragile.

As gently as possible with rough fingertips, he checked Gill's head for injuries. She hadn't just fainted. That much he knew for sure.

Some small cuts were visible under the hairline. Although that were not life threatening, they still needed to be cleaned. For a moment he wondered what really had happened in the hospital.

When he reached the back of the head he palpated huge pulsating bump that was swelled all around. He was not a doctor, but knew that this kind of head trauma indicated concussion.

It also explained the disorientation, emotional changeability he noticed before as well as sudden blackout.

She needed hospital. Needed X-ray. It broke his heart to know that she didn't trust him enough to tell about the injuries.

With sadness in the eyes David leaned closer and put a gentle kiss on woman's forehead, before he hurriedly stood up and left the room.

###

Cold merciful hands dug deeper in the neck blocking the airways. She was choking, lack of air sending burning sensation to the lungs.

Suffocating.

Dying.

In a panic she fought, fought with all the might only to realise that it was futile attempt, her hands were stilled by an invisible force.

Realising that it had been a dream, a memory Gill opened bloodshot and glassy eyes.

The room was dark and spinning.

It took a moment to realise that what she had felt was not just a nightmare.

It was real!

A hand firmly pressed against her mouth was preventing her from screaming.

Heavy weight was crushing her, her hands were immobile, dark figure was looming over her, blocking her view.

No! Not again!