Chapter 10:

Without permission. Without Permission Without permission.

There were a ton of thoughts zipping about through Castle's head, but this one was dominating them all. "Without permission" could technically mean never, but the way she had worded it, made it seem like someday there might be permission. Someday she might just ask him to kiss her and he could think of nothing else other than how to get her to let him.

For now, he had completely and totally abandoned his plan to not think of Kate in that way. Right now he could only think of her that way. Her breath had been so warm, a hint of the heat he was sure lay between her lips. Those lips. Oh my god, her lips. They had been so tantalizingly close, and pink, and soft. All he could think about was how they would have felt against his own.

He was sitting handcuffed and helpless in the break room and didn't care even a little bit. It was so worth it. Eventually he would have to get free, but for now…for now he had plenty of company with his thoughts. Closing his eyes, he leaned back in his chair and sighed, replaying the events over and over in his mind. Trying to remember exactly what her lips had felt like on his ear when she had asked him if that was how he imagined her handcuffing him. It wasn't the exact scenario he used to play on loop in his head. But it was a damn fine alternative.

Without permission.

There was so much hope in that statement. Castle let it fill him and reveled in the feeling that he thought he had long lost. The hope that one day she would end up with him. One day he could kiss her any time he wanted. And those two little words soon became the lifeline that Castle clung to. Hope wasn't lost. Hope had just been hard to find. But now that he had it, he was going to hang on. He wouldn't just bow out. The other guy wasn't going to get the girl this time.

He was going to fight for her.

...

When Kate reentered the bullpen, she ignored the probing gazes of her co-workers. They didn't need to know what went down in there. She liked to mess with the guys as much as Castle did. Walking up to Alexis who was chatting politely with Esposito, she drew her attention away.

"I'm ready when you are. Sorry for the…delay." She smiled and led Alexis back to her desk.

"Oh no problem. I warned him when we first got here not to do anything stupid. Serves him right." Kate laughed at that. She was pretty sure Castle wasn't going to live this one down any time soon.

After she offered Alexis her father's chair, she sat down in her own and faced the teen.

"Where do you want to start?"

"Well I wanted to tell you a little bit more about what I'm looking for from you. It's not much really. I mostly just want to know your opinions on the subject and maybe some of your personal experiences."

"I can do that."

"Can I use one of these?" She held up a recording device.

"Of course."

"Great. I think I'm just going to start by asking the big question."

"Shoot."

"Why aren't the police direct members of the military?"

Kate rocked her chair backwards a little as she thought about the question. She knew her opinion on the subject but wasn't quite sure how to word it.

"There's a reason we separate military and the police: one fights the enemy of the state, the other serves and protects the people. When the military becomes both, then the enemies of the state tend to become the people."

Alexis nodded and seemed to be trying to take in her answer, examining her words very closely.

"Too much power in one place?"

"That's part of it. It's happened before throughout history. The people and their rights need to be protected, even if from their own governments. If the military has the guns and makes the laws, then there is absolutely nothing to stop them from becoming a government under martial law. Whoever has the biggest guns wins. It's important to separate the law makers and enforcers from those with the physical power."

"But the police have physical power. They have guns."

"That's very true."

"So what's stopping the police from initiating martial law?"

"Sometimes it seems like not much. I've seen too many dirty cops that think that their badge and gun makes them above the law. Makes them able to interpret the law however serves their own opinions."

"So it's all about balancing the power."

"Yes. If we were all one unit, things would not end well. We need to be able to separate foreign and domestic protection of the people."

"Do the military and the police ever work together? What's that relationship like?"

"I have never had the experience of working directly with the military, so I can't really answer to that. I do know that it happens. We've come close here at the precinct, but usually we will work with government bureaucracies like the CIA or FBI if there is need for collaboration on a case."

"So the separation between the two in your experience has been almost absolute?"

"Yeah, I'd say so. Our responsibilities are similar, but they rarely overlap."

"Well, I don't really have any more questions for now."

"Oh! That was it? Wow, you were right. That was easy."

"I didn't want to take up too much of your time. I know how little of it there can be." Alexis looked a bit panicked as she said this, and Kate was picking up on the vibe. She reached across the desk and laid her hand over Alexis'.

"Hey, is everything alright?"

The girl sighed and shrugged her shoulders. "Everything's…fine. I'm just getting a little overwhelmed, I guess. It seems like everybody in my life wants something from me and…I dunno. I feel like I'm running out of things to give! I only have so much time and energy, you know! Normally I can handle school and activities and everything, but this semester, I just feel like things are slipping out of my control."

She looked almost on the verge of tears and Kate squeezed her hand comfortingly. "It's okay to not be able to handle everything that life is throwing at you. You don't have to do it alone."

Alexis nodded, but looked down to hide her burgeoning tears. "I'm so sorry, Detective Beckett. I can't believe I'm unloading this on you."

"Please call me Kate. And don't worry about it. Sometimes you just have to talk about it." She stood up. "Hang on just one second." Walking quickly into the break room where she had left Castle, she stared at the man who was sitting exactly where she had left him.

Walking around behind him, she unlocked his handcuffs.

"Go buy us all some lunch."

Castle, whose mind was still stuck on thoughts of kissing her, took a moment to follow her words.

"What?"

"Go get us some lunch. Alexis is getting hungry."

"I was planning on taking you both out for lunch as a thank you."

"It seems the interview is going to run a bit longer, so we can't. Just get outta here and grab us some lunch, please. Before we starve."

Castle smiled in submission. "Your wish is my command." He left quickly towards the elevators after that and then Kate stuck her head out the door and called for Alexis.

They made themselves comfortable at the table and then Kate leaned back in her chair.

"Alright. Let it out."

"Huh?" The girl was genuinely confused.

"Just vent everything that's bugging you and I guarantee it will help."

For the next ten minutes, Kate just listened to her talk. She remembered exactly how stressed she had been in that time in her life and she had only been involved in about half the activities that Alexis was.

There was a brief lull in Alexis' rant.

"It seems to me you need some sort of distraction."

"I don't have time for a distraction."

"Well, I can't just sit here and listen to you breaking down without helping somehow. How can I help?"

Alexis paused and then shook her head. "There's nothing really you can do." It seemed like she was holding something back, and Kate sensed it.

"Alexis. Whatever it is, I'll do it. Nothing is too much, I promise."

"But you've already helped me with my interview and now your taking your time to talk me down from the ledge. I can't ask you to do more for me."

"I just told you that you could. Please?"

"Well…I guess…I…"

"Just say it."

"I need a dress."

Kate parroted her sentence slowly back to her, trying to figure out what Alexis was asking of her. "You need a dress?"

"I need a dress for my concert."

Alexis had told her about the violin concert she had in two weeks. It was one of the many things stressing her out. The whole occasion was incredibly formal and Alexis was expected to play a very long and very difficult violin solo in front of a large crowd. She had the song nailed, but her teacher had gone to France from now until the concert and the lack of musical guidance was causing her to second guess her mastery of the song.

"OK. Let's go shopping for a dress. This definitely does not need to be one of the things stressing you out. It'll be fun!"

A huge weight seemed to lift from Alexis. "Thank you, Kate. None of my friends wanted to go with me because they are all just as stressed out. And my dad, well…he has good taste, but he doesn't know how to tell me the truth when I try things on. He thinks I 'look beautiful in everything'."

"And I am sure he is absolutely correct. But I promise to give you constructive criticism."

Alexis smiled. "Thank you."

"Stop saying thanks. I'm actually kind of excited to go. I don't really get to shop that often."

"But your clothes are so cute!"

"My entire wardrobe is a collection I have accumulated over many years. It takes a lot for me to buy new clothes. Although I do have a weakness for shoes."

"Well, you have fabulous taste. I wish we were the same size. I'd kill to wear some of your clothes."

Kate laughed. "You don't want to be as tall as me. Too hard to find guys tall enough to handle me."

Alexis laughed. "I dunno. My dad is pretty tall. You could let him handle you…"

"Alexis!"

The girl laughed even harder and the sound filled the air like chiming bells. At that moment, Castle walked in. Shooting a pleased but questioning glance at Beckett, he walked over to his daughter and put his hand on her shoulder.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing!" Kate answered quickly.

"Just teasing Kate about something."

"Well, its good to see you smiling."

"Yeah. You can thank Kate for that. She's a life saver."

Castle raised an eyebrow and looked over at his partner. "She's saved my own quite a few times. But I'm assuming you didn't mean it in the literal sense."

"Of course not, Dad." Then standing and turning to Kate. "Is tomorrow afternoon okay? It's a teacher's day and we don't have school. I was going to study, but—"

Not wanting the girl to have to explain her stresses again and knowing how difficult it could be to need to have someone to lean on, Kate interrupted, "Tomorrow sounds perfect."

Alexis beamed at her. "Great. I'm going to go say goodbye to the other detectives." She left her father and Kate together in the break room. Castle walked over towards Beckett and leaned against the table, facing her.

"For whatever you did, thank you."

"Oh, it was nothing."

"No really." He grabbed her hand of the table and held it in his own. They rarely expressed themselves physically and Kate held her breath at the feeling of his large warm hand around hers. "Thank you. She hasn't laughed or smiled like that in weeks."

"She's just stressed. I let her vent it to me."

"Sounds like you did a little more than that. What are you guys doing tomorrow?"

Kate looked down, suddenly a bit nervous. She wasn't sure if Castle would be okay with her spending a large chunk of time with Alexis. She knew exactly how protective he was of his daughter and knew that he hadn't even let Gina get close to her when they had been married.

"I told her I would go shopping with her tomorrow." Castle didn't say anything and Kate couldn't read his expression. "Listen, if you are uncomfortable or anything, I can just tell her I have to work. I was going to take the day off to—"

"You were going to take the day off?"

"Yeah." She paused trying to decipher the look in his eyes. "If I overstepped I'm sorry. She just seemed like she really needed someone to just…"

"No. No. You didn't overstep." He took a deep breath and Kate caught the hint of a very strong emotion in his eyes. "What you're doing is…amazing. You are amazing."

Now Kate was blushing and she slowly drew her hand out of Castle's. If he was going to say these kinds of things, he couldn't also be holding her hand. It was beyond the lines they had drawn out.

"I like Alexis a lot and I think she needs this." Pausing and tilting her head ruefully in thought she added, "And you know what? I think I need this too."

They smiled at each other and she knew that he would never deny Alexis something she needed. "Well far be it from me to deny you anything you need."

A/N: I got one of Kate's quotes about martial law from BsG. I totally nerded out this semester and started watching it. Let's take a moment to ackowlege the fact that I know absolutely nothing about the military or law enforcement or how they work together. I realized this when I started to write the interview scene. Just take everything with a grain of salt and recognize it as the fiction that it is.

Please review! I love love love reading them. They have been keeping me sane as I finish writing my thesis which is 175 pages and counting. Of complete crap, but whatever. I have to defend it on Friday and that will determine my entire FUUUUUTURE! So review. It'll take my mind off it. Hope you keep reading. It starts getting to the really, really good stuff in the next 6 chapters. They made my sister squeal when she read them. If you knew my sister, you'd know she doesn't squeal often. Or even read Castle fan fiction. So I felt pretty good.

Review that made my day? angel-junkie. I think I had left you a gushing review on your story about 10 minutes before you reviewed mine! I'm glad you liked it enough to read it 5 times (even once is awesome).