Hello Again!

Here's the latest addition. I thought it was time we'd check in with deal ol' Cullen. Again, please don't be shy and leave me a review. I love reading them. Another big thank you to DalishEssence and Marika Haliwell for your comments! They really do make a difference.

RussianBear27

Chapter 10

Rebuilding the tower was not an easy task, especially with an approaching horde of darkspawn. The tower was in ruins and nothing was being done about the mages, at least in Cullen's mind.

The wardens had taken out the blood mages' leader Uldred and saved First Enchanter Irving, but it wasn't enough. The Wardens had deemed the Rite of Annulment unnecessary, but what did they know? Every mage in the tower was a threat, a potential abomination lying in wait. He could feel their eyes on him, as if waiting for their time to strike. Leaving Cullen constantly on edge. Constantly waiting for the attack that would surely come from the shadows.

Then there were the nightmares. Every night they would crawl into his head, like spiders, wreaking havoc on his mind. He would see such horrible things, his dead comrades around him, the bodies of the apprentices and mages turned into abominations. In his dreams they would rise up and attack him, but no matter how hard he fought or how far he ran, they would overtake him. Uldred's inhuman eyes still haunted him at night, burning the same as they did the day took over the tower.

Though the worst part, which Cullen wouldn't admit even to himself, was seeing her. It was as if he caught glimpses of her everywhere. He would see her out of the corner of his eye, but when he turned she was gone. Her room in the Library was emptied and all of her things disposed of. Sometimes he would see her slip inside, but when Cullen followed he'd find only an empty cold room gathering dust. It was like a never ending game of hide and seek leaving Cullen feeling as if he were completely mad.

He had attacked her, called her a maleficar. Try as he may to justify himself, he knew she didn't deserve it. He had stood by while they locked her away and did nothing while they tortured her for weeks. Still she came back for him. She returned to him at his lowest and how did he repay her? Accused her of blood magic and condemned her. Cullen would never forget that look of fear as he lunged at her. Anything they had before then meant nothing in that moment, the only thing he had in his heart was fear and anger. So she ran.

It was only after he regained himself did he realize what he had done. He lost control and almost destroyed the only thing in the world that mattered to him. Yet, somehow the Templars saw it fit to reward Cullen for his service. He was promoted to Knight-Captain of the Kirkwall Templars.

Throwing himself into work was the only thing that seemed to help. It kept his mind off the horrors he witnessed and gave him an outlet. He had devoted his life to the Templars and he would continue that dedication with a newfound discipline.

Ferelden had defeated the blight thanks to the new inaugurated Warden King and Queen, the same Wardens that had rescued the tower months before. A few weeks later Cullen was in Kirkwall, serving as the Templar Knight-Captain.

For the first time in a long time Cullen felt he could do some good. Knight-Commander Meredith was a strict woman and Kirkwall's mages were kept under careful watch and control. A change that Cullen welcomed. After the disaster in Kinloch, it was good to see someone willing to do what was necessary to protect the city, and the mages themselves, from the temptations of power that came with magic.

Even as Cullen settled into his new position, he still felt something was missing. What it was, he didn't know, but the nightmares continued. Sometimes he still saw her, a smiling face in the crowded city that would promptly disappear as soon as he noticed her.

Kali answered the door of her little abode in the alienage. It was Hawke and Varric, again.

"I found us some work, Red," Varric enjoyed his nickname for her. In fact the dwarf enjoyed giving nicknames to everyone in his circle of friends.

"Is it legitimate work?" Kali thought it was rather sad she had to ask.

Varric laughed, "it is! It's a Templar matter we've been asked to look into."

Kali looked to Garrett. The man hadn't changed much this past year in Kirkwall. He was still the massive raven-haired warrior that Kali had come to know. She on the other hand was not the defenseless mage she had been when they came to her rescue so long ago. Kali preferred to keep her hair short now, and changed its style rather frequently. A process Bethany was always happy to assist with. Her pointed ears had also gained several hoops and earrings.

In addition to physical appearance, Kali had picked up quite a few skills. Bethany and Garrett took it upon themselves to help with her combat skills. Bethany handled the magical aspects, while Garrett handled the physical. She could easily dispatch an attacker even without the aid of magic, using her staff as a weapon as well as catalyst for her powers. The little elven woman was now a force to be reckoned with, and could easily handle herself in the rough city slums.

"Templars, Garrett?" Kali hadn't run into any trouble with the Templars so far, but she didn't want to start now. Her anonymity was her greatest defense. She could walk the length of the Gallows and not turn the head of a single Templar. Still, she preferred to keep her distance.

"Come on Kali," Garrett urged, "we almost have enough coin for the expedition. I could really use your help on this one."

Kali sighed, she couldn't deny her friend anything it seemed. "Fine," she relented, "but you're doing the talking."

"Of course," Garrett agreed.

Kali gathered her things and joined Hawke and Varric on their venture to the Gallows. Along the way they met up with Aveline, completing their little adventurous party.

The bright sun always seemed to contrast the dreariness that was the Gallows. Everyone always seemed to be depressed there, which wasn't completely unexpected in a placed called, "The Gallows." All the same, everyone seemed to be walking around with a little black raincloud over their head.

Upon arriving in the Gallows, a sense of dread immediately set in. Following behind Hawke and the others, Kali saw something that made her stop dead in her tracks. Her stomach seemed to sink into a bottomless pit she didn't know existed.

"You alright, Red?" Varric asked taking notice.

Kali struggled to find words, "I… uh… I-I'm fine." In reality she felt she should just turn tail and run. Yet, her feet wouldn't listen to her head. They just kept on following behind Garrett's massive frame, trying to keep out of sight.

The others eyed her suspiciously, but kept going. Kali just silently prayed they were headed for anywhere besides where she thought they were. Alas, today those prayers would go unheeded as they always did.

"Are you the Knight-Captain?" Garrett asked a blond Templar.

"Yes, I am Knight-Captain Cullen," he replied holding out his hand in greeting.

He's Knight-Captain now, Kali thought to herself, moving up in the world. Kali listened as they spoke of missing Templars, grateful that Garrett was nearly twice her size. Garrett leaned to one side as he asked if there were any leads. Kali was too slow to move behind her human camouflage without Cullen's noticing. Shit.

Kali looked away, suddenly realizing a newfound interest in the pavement, trying to seem as unconcerned as possible. It was too late, Cullen stopped mid sentence and an awkward silence fell upon them. Part of her head was screaming for her to run while she had the chance, but Kali knew it was too late.

"Kali?" Cullen breathed, a bit uncertain.

Kali's companions were abruptly on edge. The Templar Knight-Captain recognizing your apostate friend was not a good thing. Yet, Cullen wasn't moving to arrest her or call his men. He just stared, as if he couldn't believe she was standing in front of him.

"Hello, Cullen," Kali replied sheepishly. No one said anything. Cullen just stared at her, and Kali's friends looked to each unsure of what to do.

"You were talking about leads Knight-Captain," Garrett interrupted whatever it was going on between them, trying to diffuse the tension.

"Ah, y-yes," Cullen snapped back to reality. Well, sort of. "I, um, interviewed the… c-consorts of the Blooming Rose. T-though none of them were willing to speak to me, um, honestly about the s-situation." He had suddenly reverted to the stuttering fool, betraying the mask of authority he tried to uphold. Cullen turned a bright shade of red with embarrassment.

The Blooming Rose was a well-known brothel and the missing Templars were last seen patronizing the establishment. "T-that would probably be a good place to start your search," Cullen concluded awkwardly.

Garrett wrapped up the conversation as politely as possible, and turned to leave. They were halfway across the courtyard before Cullen finally mustered the courage to call out to her.

"Kali," Cullen caught up to them.

"What?" Kali couldn't tell if he was going to hug her or arrest her. In the end he did neither.

"I, um," he struggled with his words as he did years ago. "It was nice to, um… Well, it is nice to see you." He had meant to do something more, to take her in his arms and apologize for what he had done, but this wasn't the place for that. Her friends were a few paces away, ready for any sign of trouble. The courtyard was also full of the watchful eyes of his fellow Templars. Also, Cullen knew he just didn't have the courage to it. The elven woman who held his heart for so long had hardly spoken three words to him and understandably so.

Kali wasn't sure what to make of his approach. "It was nice to see you too," she said diplomatically and quickly rejoined her friends. They hurried out of the Gallows, Cullen watching them the entire way. He was secretly kicking himself for being such a fool and letting her walk away.

"Sooooo," Varric broke the silence as soon as they were clear of the Gallows, "what was that all about?"

"What do you mean?" Kali deflected.

"Oh come on, Red! What was that whole thing with the Knight-Captain?" Varric insisted.

"Can we not talk about it right now?" Kali sighed.

"We have to talk about it sometime," Garrett interjected. "We now have the attention of at least one Templar."

"A powerful one at that," Aveline added.

Kali knew Garrett was concerned for her, as well as for his sister Bethany. She just didn't want to have this conversation right now. Her head was reeling and her heart felt like it was going to burst out of her chest. "I promise I will explain later," Kali said. "I'll meet up with you at the Hanged Man tonight. I just… I need to go home."

Before anyone could stop her, Kali was gone. She nearly ran home. The last year of her life had been devoted to creating something new and leaving her past behind. When she finally felt like she had moved on, she's reminded that the past never changes and never goes away.

Seeing Cullen didn't go the way she expected it to. Then again, she wasn't sure what she expected. The last time she saw him he had accused her of blood magic in a torture-fueled rage. He wasn't the half mad Templar that attacked her, but he also wasn't quite the man she had fallen in love with either. Kali had seen the dark circles under his eye from sleepless nights, and the uncertainty when he saw her. The emotions from a year ago came flooding back in a mess of fear, anger, and passion.

Kali locked her door behind herself when she finally made it home. She paced her small apartment somewhere in between crying and laughing. Slowly the hours passed. Kali packed and unpacked, torn on whether to flee Kirkwall or not. It wasn't until she saw herself in the mirror did she stop her frantic pacing. She still wore the necklace Cullen had given her. The enchanted moon and star that helped keep her safe for all this time. She told herself that she wore it for the useful enchantment. Truthfully, she wore it because Cullen had given it to her. It was the last piece of him she had, the last reminder of the love they shared.

Sitting down, Kali realized it all came down to whether or not she trusted Cullen. The man she had loved wouldn't haul her off to the Circle, or so she believed. A lot of time had passed, and she had changed so much. It remained to be seen how time had changed him.