Chapter 9:
She didn't block the chimney.
I'd dropped the letter down just a while before, praying that there wasn't a fire burning at the base.
I depend on Blaze a lot more than I'll ever admit.
It had been as short and un-sappy a note as I could make it. That I missed him. That if he could get away, I needed to see him before tomorrow. That if he couldn't, it was goodbye for a while. And that he ought to unlock his window.
I'm trying to keep my woeful thoughts to a minimum, but it's not working too well. All I can think about as I stare up at the ring of cloud around Death Mountain from Impa's rooftop is that I'm leaving everything behind. I've walked around the whole of Kakariko 4 times, staring at each house and shop mournfully, with new appreciation for their very existence. Now just looking at anything seems to give me this nostalgia that only makes me more glum.
Maybe it's wrong that the last day I have left here, I don't want to spend here. But I can't watch it anymore. 4 rounds later, I think I deserve out for at least a while.
Impa forbade going near the gates, walls, ledges, or anything that could serve as a possible exit. I've got to admit, she's got the entire list covered.
But see, she forgot to mention that I can't be on the other side of any of those things.
And I know how to get there without an exit.
I always knew Impa would regret teaching me to "poof".
Technically it's called teleportation, but "poofing" stuck to me better. Simply put, I start off here, I end up there, no rules broken. Just bent a little. Besides, what she doesn't know can't hurt her.
I look out towards the gates of Kakariko, and close my eyes, before throwing a deku nut, which explodes with a loud crack as I vanish into a puff of smoke.
I open my eyes.
I'm standing on the bridge crossing the end of Zora's River, just outside the steps leading up to Kakariko.
Free at last. I sigh. Hyrule field is so expansive and open and free...it's one of those places where you realize just how insignificant your life is, where you realize how small you really are. The sky is a dazzling blue, and the grass soft and springy, rustling softly in a sweet breeze.
There's a taller patch of grass across the bridge. I flop down there and stare up at the sky, trying to find pictures in the clouds.
I swear that lumpy one looks kind of like Christian's head.
Hehehe, I bet he'd have a few choice words to say to that.
Mmm, I'm kind of tired...
"Come on, Aer," Blaze complains. "Like he'd really hide it there."
I snort. "If you were an evil villain, where's the first place you'd hide it?"
He rolls his eyes. "Not in a 'Sacred Meadow' where little kids could play with it."
"Because a bunch of kids would love playing with something that looks like a spike bomb with eyes," I retort.
"Well I sure would," he shrugs.
I stare. "Did your mom drop you on your head or something when you were little?"
"Haha, funny," he retorts, taking a step into the huge log deep within the Lost Woods. I watch as he passes through the darkness and out of sight, before following.
The white light on the other side is almost blinding. I recognize the entrance to the Sacred Forest Meadow immediately.
"Come on, Blaze, if we don't get the weapon first, the world is doomed," I whine, as he looks at the maze ahead glumly.
"Why do they like puzzles so much?" he mutters, shaking his head. He stops midswing through the third head-shake.
"Because puzzles are torturous," I reply easily. I don't get a sarcastic remark or comment of agreement back. "Blaze?"
Blaze doesn't look like he's heard anything I just said.
"Hello?" I say, waving a hand in front of his face. "Anyone in there?"
"Where the hell did you come up with a spike bomb with eyes?" comes a voice.
I blink, but Blaze's mouth hasn't moved. Actually, Blaze hasn't moved. He seems to have taken on a picture-like quality, like an imitation, an illusion.
My dream shifts into another setting, and Blaze disappears entirely. I'm in Hyrule Field, staring forward at a stranger walking towards me.
He's very handsome, I'll admit. He's tall and fairly strong-looking, with a boyish sort of grin. Long, slightly wavy dark chocolate-colored locks frame his face, falling to just above his shoulders. He regards me with a pair of soft, deep brown eyes. He actually seems sort of familiar, but I can't place where from...
"Spike bombs with eyes," he says again in a casual, teasing manner. "You sure have interesting dreams."
"It's my dream," I say, matching his tone perfectly, as the corner of my mouth pulls into a sort of crooked grin. "And it's my dream that's brought you to existence, so you might want to shut up and enjoy it while I'm asleep."
"Too true, too true," he shrugs. Did I say just handsome? I meant absolutely gorgeous.
Sometimes I really appreciate the creator of such figments of imagination that is my mind.
"So," he begins again, "Why are you dreaming of me? Is there any other purpose to my existence besides to stand here and look sexy?"
"I really don't know," I reply with a shrug. "Dreams don't have to make sense, do they?"
"No, but I wouldn't let all this beauty go to waste," he grins, posing. I can't help but laugh. At this, his grin broadens. "Look how much prettier you are when you smile."
His voice seems kind of familiar too, now that I think of it.
"Have we met before?" I ask, cocking my head to one side.
"Maybe in another ridiculous dream," he replies in a self-satisfied sort of way. "Who knows? With you, it could be anything."
"Guess so," I reply casually in agreement. His smile broadens.
"Well, see ya cross-dresser," he says casually.
I watch him curiously, the vague feeling of an illusion beginning to appear on the edges of my vision. He turns and begins to walk away, looking back only once.
"Don't run into any spike bombs," he grins, and my vision finally fades into black, the faint sound of whinnying echoing in my ears.
Still whinnying.
It's kind of annoying.
This is the part where I curse my mind for creating annoying horses in my dreams.
I open my eyes.
It's almost sunset, and that annoying whinnying is still ringing in my ears. "Ugggh," I groan irritably, sitting up in my comfy patch of grass and rubbing my eyes.
Another whinny fills the air, accompanied with several guttural shouts. I peer forward from my spot and immediately duck down.
Moblins.
There's about 5 of them surrounding a horse, backing it up to Zora's River. The horse is in a frenzied panic, rearing and shrieking as each of them try to restrain it with ropes. Every now and then, it kicks a different Moblin down. One of them's managed to get a rope around its neck, but it looks like the horse is putting up a hell of a fight.
Impa will murder you if you're seen, I tell myself.
But the poor horse, the other part of my mind says in a pouty voice.
But the Moblins...
Then don't get caught.
Hmm, well, I guess that makes sense.
I pull out my slingshot and a deku nut, but then I reconsider and exchange a rock. I don't want to hurt it. Just startle it into full power.
I carefully take aim at the horse's backside and let it fly.
The horse bucks and lurches forward, hurling itself into a full-out gallop and knocking down all but two of the Moblins. Another is holding onto the rope around its neck still, being dragged face-down in the dirt. After about 10 feet it gives up and skids to a halt, as the horse just keeps on going. The other Moblins pull themselves to their feet and chase the horse stupidly, trampling their fallen comrade in an almost comical manner.
I'm about to thank myself for doing such a good deed when I realize that the horse is smart enough to have recognized where the rock came from and is headed straight towards me.
So is the pack of Moblins.
Stupid horse!
"Stop...stop horsey...stop...STOP..." I pray but it keeps hauling towards me while I just sit there in a state of horror, counting off my options.
Stay here. Die due to stampeding horse.
Stay here and dodge the horse. Get caught by Moblins. Either get killed by them or by Impa when she finds out.
Jump on the horse...
I actually don't have time to come up with the consequences of that, because the horse is practically 3 feet away, but I figure my other options weren't that great anyway and I leap up and throw one leg over the horse's back as it speeds by, grabbing the loop around it's neck.
Riding sideways is a lot more difficult than I'd thought it'd be.
Luckily the other side of the horse is blocking me from the Moblins' view.
Once we're far out of sight of the Moblins, I take a minute to pull myself fully onto the horse's back. I grab the dangling end of the rope and tie another loop, making one make-shift stirrup.
We slow down a little, and the horse looks back at me.
Oh goddess that is the most human-like evil look I've ever seen. I recoil slightly.
All of a sudden it takes off at full-speed, and I slide sideways, one hand still holding onto the rope around its neck. I consider bailing until I realize that my foot's caught in the stirrup I made. Wonderful.
This isn't an awkward position at all.
The horse - a she I now know, and goddess help me, I wish I didn't - seems bent on hurling itself into a glade nearby. I find myself twisting and turning in all sorts of ways to dodge various bushes, logs, and trees that could easily knock me out or kill me.
"Oh, so this is the thanks I get for saving your sorry hide!" I shout indignantly, having just pulled my head in abruptly to avoid it getting knocked off. We come to a clear area, thank Din.
In response, she bucks. I lose grip on the loop around her neck and fall on my back painfully. Oh, and did I mention my foot's still caught?
As soon as she comes back down, she slows to a walk, but doesn't stop to give me the time to free myself. I spend about 10 minutes trying to reach the loop around my ankle before I give up and end up being dragged by my foot throughout wherever-she's-going, muttering the entire way.
This is never getting to Christian.
Apparently she was just looking for a particularly good-looking patch of grass, because she stops to graze a while in. I take the opportunity to free my foot and wipe the long streak of dirt off from all the way down my back.
"You're welcome," I mutter irritably. She raises her head and gives me an innocent look. "Now, if you'll finally excuse me, it's almost dark, and I have to go and find a way to sneak back home without getting murdered."
I take a few steps to leave, before something nudges my shoulder. I turn to see the horse right behind me, giving me an I'm-so-cute-and-innocent-and-I-didn't-mean-to-drag-you-within-an-inch-of-your-life look.
"What is this?" I ask incredulously. "Now you like me?" I throw my hands up in the air and turn again. She nudges me harder, this time knocking me over, face-first into a pile of dirt. I spit.
"Thanks a lot," I mutter. Something soft and fuzzy nudges the back of my neck. She bites the back of my collar and pulls me up.
I turn to look at her again, wincing. Uuuggggh horse slobber...eeewwww.
"Come on horsey," I say in a high-pitched coo. "Go on home. Come on! Get going!"
She snorts at my falsetto, and takes another step forward, nudging me along.
"Fine then, if you want me to leave, I'll leave," I shrug, turning away. "See ya."
And with that, I started trying to find my way out of the forest.
"Silly horse," I say to myself, shaking my head. "Honestly..." What kind of horse beats you up and then pretends to love you? A mean one. A crazy one.
I stop for a minute.
Kind of like me actually.
Well that's kind of odd. I've never compared myself to a horse before.
Finally I make it to the edge of the wood, stepping into Hyrule Field once more. I take a moment to congratulate myself, when I hear a crack from behind me.
I spin in slow motion.
The horse is still behind me.
"What, are you following me home now?" I ask it with a raised eyebrow.
She gives me an innocent look but I can tell it's exactly what she's doing.
"And what exactly makes you think I'd let you follow me?" I ask her again, but she just watches me with a very human-like grin.
She's not asking my permission. She's going to anyway.
Nayru, she really is me.
I grin back. "All right, all right."
She tosses her mane happily, and trots up beside me. I watch her back carefully.
"You're going to buck me off as soon as I get on," I say nervously. Nonetheless, I cautiously pull myself onto her back.
So far so good.
"All right horsey..." I say slowly.
And just as predicted, she bucks me off and I land flat on my back.
OOOOOWWWWWWWW can't breathe!! Ribs collapsed!!
I'm also vaguely aware of the fairly steady trickle of blood escaping my side.
"Dammit, see this?" I ask between gasps. "I'm injured. Injured. You could have just killed me! If I wasn't two weeks into healing, I'd be dying of blood loss and it would be all your fault."
She walks over to me and nuzzles the side of my head apologetically. Then she bites the side of my collar and pulls me up again, before turning sideways.
"No knocking me off this time," I command. Farore I sound like Impa.
Again I haul myself up, in much more pain than before. But true to her word (okay, not her word, but you get it), she doesn't hurl me off, but starts off at a slow gallop. I lie against her back in massive pain.
"Gotta get back to Kakariko," I tell her, as though she understands. Luckily for me, she must, because I'm too lazy to control the rope around her neck and we end up at the steps.
"Okay," I say. "Impa will gut me if I go in there, so I kind of have to find another way here." She watches me carefully. "Now you can stay here I guess but there's also stables in there, if I can find a way to get you in..."
She walks up the stairs without listening to another word I say, acting like she owns them.
"Well that works," I say to myself. I close my eyes.
There's a puff of smoke and I'm sitting on top of Impa's roof.
The horse walks into Kakariko as casually as possible, although there's not really any way an unoccupied horse walking around town seems normal. But nobody's brave enough to come out of their houses, so there's no one to see her anyway. I sneak off the roof and grab the rope around her neck.
"Shhh," I tell her, putting a finger to my lips. "I'll get murdered if we get caught. Now come on, we'll get you to the stables and you can share some oats and hay and food with the other horses."
She nickers excitedly and I cut her off with more shhing, almost having a heart attack. "What did I say about murder?!"
As stealthily as I can, I lead her into the stables and into the empty stall at the end. She trots in happily.
I'll admit she's actually a very beautiful horse. She's a reddish-brown color with a white mane and tail, and a few white splotches along her hide as well as a stripe down her nose. She looks at me contentedly with her light-chocolate-colored eyes before munching on her hay happily.
I sigh in relief.
The hard part's over.
I sneak back to Impa's house, crawling onto a stack of wooden crates and opening my window. Unlike Blaze, I always leave my window unlocked for this particular purpose.
I'm halfway through the window when Christian's face appears out of nowhere. "Hello," he says brightly.
"Holy sh-" I start before stumbling backwards and almost falling out the window. He throws an arm around my waist and catches me just in time, pulling me back in.
"Saved your life," he grins.
"You're the one who nearly killed me in the first place," I say, narrowing my eyes up at him.
"Well then I suppose I've properly redeemed myself," he replies cooly. I take the moment to unwind his arm from around my waist, and head over to my mirror, pulling as many incriminating leaves and twigs from my hair as I can find. Christian decides to settle himself upon my bed, arms laid back behind his head.
"You know, I'd understand if it was a dog or something," he says with a mischievous grin. "But I don't think Impa would really believe a horse followed you home from somewhere in Kakariko."
I spin around and freeze in horror.
"You can't...you wouldn't..."
His grin broadens. "Relax. Just remember you owe me." He pats on the bed, motioning for me to sit beside him. "You missed some."
I roll my eyes, and flop down, back towards him. He takes a couple minutes to whack the dirt from my back and unwind several twigs from my hair.
"Where the hell did you find the horse anyway?" he asks in bewilderment.
"Fwhynni," I interrupt.
"Bless you," Christian replies politely.
"No," I roll my eyes. "Fwhynni. She has to have a name."
"Farore help us she's named it..." he sighs, shaking his head in amusement. "Poor kid."
I turn and stick my tongue out at him. He's still grinning.
"So anyway," he continues, "What do you think about the weather?"
I stare.
The weather...?
What the hell??
All of a sudden I get drenched with ice cold water. I scream. Cold!! Cold!!
Christian sits there laughing hysterically, and I turn to see Blaze grinning broadly as well.
"Did you miss me?" Blaze asks casually, looking completely satisfied with himself.
"Priceless!" Christian gasps. "Absolutely priceless!"
"You..." I gasp, glaring at both of them. "Dead..."
"Come on now, that's the greeting I get?" Blaze asks. "I go through hell to come see you and you're giving me death threats?"
"All right," I hiss. "I'm sorry Blaze. Now come on, give me a hug..."
"Hell no," he replies, taking a step back and raising his hands in defense. "Not when you're all soaking wet."
"Come on, didn't you miss me?" I ask innocently.
"Not that much," he says jokingly. Then, looking about, he jumps onto the bed, hiding behind Christian. "If you want to get to me, you've got to go through him first!"
"Wait a sec-" Christian struggles, but Blaze is locked onto him.
And at that exact moment, Impa decides to walk into my room.
For a moment we all just stare at eachother.
"I don't think I want to know," Impa sighs.
"You really don't," Christian agrees.
"I haven't seen the two of you all day," Impa continues suspiciously, watching me and Christian. "What have you been up to?"
"Uh..." I say, struggling for an excuse. "Christian and I...we decided to play the archery game today."
Christian looks like he's about to say something, so I elbow him to get him to shut up.
She raises an eyebrow. "The shop's been closed."
"We made our own, where we train," I say. "I won."
"What?!" Christian starts to exclaim, but I elbow him harder in the stomach. He gives a muffled "Oof!" Luckily, Impa doesn't hear him.
"Christian, is that true?" she asks, obviously not willing to believe me unless she gets his word too.
That's not fair. She can't play us against eachother.
"Yeah, absolutely," he lies in agreement.
Impa still looks slightly disbelieving, but she goes with it. "Well, I came upstairs to help you all with your disguises," she continues.
"Wait. What disguises...?" I ask in shock.
"You can't leave tomorrow looking like you always do," Impa says matter-of-factly. "We can't run the risk of anyone recognizing you." She's got that you'll-do-what-I-tell-you look plastered to her face.
Damn.
"I've been thinking," Christian says. "Can I just go back to how I usually look? They all know me like this. It won't matter if I take on my normal appearance."
I stare. "Normal appearance?"
He grins. "I don't do blonde."
"He disguised himself before the attack so that the enemy would see him as a different person," Impa explain. "But they now recognize this appearance as that of the prince. It doesn't matter if he's disguised or not, they know who he is."
"So I can go back to my original sexy self," Christian sighs happily.
"I don't see why not," Impa agrees. "Sit still."
He listens, and closes his eyes as she closes hers as well.
At first nothing happens.
Then, his features suddenly begin to change.
It's like watching a tree grow in fast-forward. His hair darkens shade by shade and grows longer, slight waves appearing. His skin tans a tad more. For the most part, the rest of him stays the same.
They both open their eyes at the same time.
Christian's suddenly got soft dark brown eyes.
I gape in horror.
You were in my dream! How the HELL did you get in my dream?!
Small choking noises escape my mouth. Impa stares at me in bewilderment.
Christian draws a hand across his throat in a cut-it-out motion. He gives me a pleading look.
I glare at him, but go along with it.
"Dust," I say in an explanatory way.
Impa gives me a strange look, but doesn't ask any questions. "Your turn."
I close my eyes. Suddenly I get the strange sensation of something cold running down my back.
Oh wait. That's just another ice cube.
Thank you so much guys.
This time, I know something's happening. I get a warm tickling feeling for a minute.
"Not bad," Christian muses.
I open my eyes. Greenish, blue-flecked eyes. One of the shades my eyes normally turn. Well that's nice.
My hair's a light brown too, with very soft curls at the bottom.
I'm still pretty sexy.
"My turn?" Blaze asks hopefully.
"The enemy hasn't take particular notice of you," Impa says slowly, choosing her words carefully. "You don't really need a disguise."
Blaze's face falls.
I grin.
Someone downstairs calls for Impa, and she turns to the door. "Don't do anything stupid," she says as a general warning before leaving.
We watch the door and listen for the cracks of each step before we turn to eachother.
I narrow my eyes at Christian.
"I think you're the one who owes me, mister," I hiss. "Start explaining."