NINE
Sam made his way back to Bobby's unsettled by what he'd seen. He knew Christina had tried to cover up what he'd walked in on as innocent, but he'd seen right through her story. He knew that look. She was lost, she felt like she didn't fit anywhere and she was searching for something to fill the hole Dean had left behind. But to see her actually giving up on him had thrown him out of his comfort zone. If there was one thing he was sure of, it was that Christina and his brother belonged together.
"Hey." Dean greeted him as he walked in Bobby's back door.
"Yeah." He countered distracted.
His brother picked up on it right away, "You OK?"
"I-uh…" He turned to look behind him at the door he'd walked through and then back to Dean, "I think I just saw CJ on a date."
"CJ? On a date?"
"Yeah, she was with that guy I saw coming out of her apartment."
"Did she see you?"
"Yeah, I talked to her."
"What did she say?"
"She said they were friends, but she looked… guilty."
"Then maybe it wasn't what you thought it was."
"I'm just saying, that's what it looked like."
At that point Bobby walked in the room with his son. "And here's the man that would know."
He frowned in reply, "What would I know?"
"Is CJ on a date?"
He nodded, "Yeah, she's having coffee with a guy."
"You knew?" Sam asked with a frown.
Bobby looked from the youngest Winchester to the eldest and back again, "Don't you think she should move on from your brother or do you want her to be miserable for the rest of her life?"
His question made Dean feel sick with guilt. He knew how tied up in their disfunctional relationship they both were. He'd hurt her and she'd always forgive him. She'd tell him she was out but he'd find a way to pull her back in. It was a terrible thing to admit, but he relied on how she felt so he could keep going back. They both knew it. But if she was starting to date he knew his grasp on her was coming to an end – the dance was over – and he didn't like it.
Sam had been right, when he'd first mentioned seeing that man at her apartment, jealousy had immediately flared up inside him. He didn't like the idea of her being with anyone else.
"Yeah, no… it was just weird." Sam replied honestly.
"Danny's a good guy. I know the family."
Dean couldn't speak; he was still in shock. The pit of his stomach hurt, like he'd been kicked between the legs hard. He was winded. He'd never imagined there'd ever be a day when he couldn't rely on Christina being there for him, but she was slipping through his fingers. Onlycommitment scared him. He had no idea how he could keep a hold on her without promising her everything she wanted because he was sure temptation would test him and he'd ultimately destroy her desired future when he was unfaithful.
Bobby looked at Dean, he'd been quiet since he'd confirmed his daughter's whereabouts and he sensed it had given him the shock he needed. "Any more questions?"
Dean shook his head and looked down at his feet. He had to formulate a plan that would see them both getting something positive out of their relationship.
= X =
"So, you and this Dean character, how did you meet?" Danny asked Christina as he sat on the couch in her apartment.
She passed him his coffee and took a seat next to him, "Our Dad's were friends. We practically grew up together." She smiled as her sentence sparked a memory, "Him and Sam were the only boys my Dad would let me be around without his supervision."
He nodded, "So it was inevitable that you two would end up together."
"I guess so" She sighed, "I've always known Dean wasn't the kind of guy that stuck to one girl and when I got pregnant, I hoped that would change but I was just fooling myself. I doubt he ever loved me the way I love him. I'm not sure he even knows how to love someone like normal people do."
He laughed, "Normal people?"
She smiled, "Yeah, um… Dean prides himself on not being normal."
= A While Later =
Christina made her way in though the front door of her father's house and called out to whoever was inside. But when there was no answer, she made her way to the main room, "He-" She was abruptly cut short calling another greeting when she saw Dean sat behind her Dad's desk. She tucked some of her hair behind her ear, "Hey."
"Hi." He countered looking up at her.
She looked around, "Where's DJ?"
"I think Bobby took him out for a walk."
"Oh." She was uncomfortable because she'd been hoping to get her son and leave before the inquisition but she could sense it coming. She suspected Sam had told him exactly where she'd been and who with, and she knew Dean wouldn't be able to hold his tongue – the curiosity would be too much for him to tolerate.
He watched her linger awkwardly in the doorway, he knew she was expecting him to mention what his brother had seen and he didn't want to disappoint her.
"So, how was your date?" He asked casually, seeming not to care.
But she knew Dean too well to assume he wasn't bothered. The question had been one he couldn't resist asking. She smiled, and – instead of withdrawing inside her shell – she stuck out her chest, held up her head and stood tall as she moved into the room, "Pretty great actually. Danny's a good guy."
"And you know that by having one coffee with him?" He asked with raised eyebrows.
"Oh yeah. He's upfront and honest – I already know more about him than I do about you."
He took the underhand comment she made at his expense with a smile, "Great. I hope you two will be very happy together." He said trying not to be obvious that he was jealous, but it didn't take a genius to see it and she thrived off his displeasure.
"Awww, thank you Dean. It means so much to have your approval." She countered sarcastically.
"C'mon, I'm trying not to be dick here and accept that you're moving on." He said, trying the reverse psychology route.
But that worked just about as well as his attempt to hide his feelings. She slowly manoeuvred to the couch and took a seat, "I don't need your acceptance Dean. We were done the minute you stopped kissing me so don't for one second think that I owe you anything."
He inhaled deeply, "Boy you really get a kick out of sticking it to the man don't you?"
"When the man's you… yeah."
"Right, me and my toxic personality." He said repeating what she'd said to him in the panic room. He had to use his back up plan, hurt her – right where it would cause the maximum amount of pain. "Do you want to know why we wouldn't have worked?" He didn't wait for her to answer. "You're too dependable CJ. I like women who play hardball and the truth is, I'd only have to click my fingers and you'd come running back like an obedient little puppy. It's pathetic. And if you think that pretending you're moving on is going to make me have an epiphany you're wasting your time. The thing is, you'll be forgotten as soon as I lay down with another woman."
Despite his words, she smiled. She knew they'd been intended to upset her because his ego had taken a blow and, as much as the urge to jump across the room and rip his heart out boiled in her blood, she sat calmly looking him dead in the eye. "Who are you trying to convince Dean, me or yourself?" She asked before getting to her feet and walking through the kitchen to the back door. "Tell my Dad to drop DJ at home when he's ready."
Hearing the door close behind her Dean cursed himself silently. He hadn't meant a single word he'd said about not wanting her, or about her being easy to get over, but he was using limited resources at such short notice. He'd been hoping the reverse psychology would make her fight for him but she hadn't. So he'd attacked her with the only thing he knew would hurt her. That hadn't worked the way he'd wanted it to either. Sam was right; she'd completely given up on him and he couldn't even begin to figure out a plan to get her back.
= X =
Christina walked into her apartment with fire in her belly. She was furious with Dean for saying those things to her, even if they were only designed to get a reaction. He knew exactly which buttons to press and she livid that – yet again – he'd got under her skin.
She slammed her front door closed and let a frustrated scream boil in hr throat before releasing it as she swept her hand across the table in her hall. The frames and knick-knacks shattered and smashed to pieces as they hit the hard surface. Dean was going to be the death of her.
She went to her bedroom and continued her rage; moving her hand over her chest of drawers and dressing table in turn. The framed photos and make-up ended up on the floor in a heap. Then she saw his picture on her bedside table. Without thinking she headed over, picked it up and threw it, with all her strength, through the pane glass window and as she heard it land on the pavement below she allowed her bed to catch her, the fight leaving her body as quickly as it had appeared.
= X =
He was making his way home when a framed photo landed and smashed at his feet. He looked up at the building, in the direction it had come from and instantly knew who lived in the apartment with the now pane less window. He bent down and picked up the frame, he didn't know the man in the photo, but his guess was that it was Dean.
= X =
She lay in the middle of her mattress staring up at the ceiling wishing she could disappear to somewhere far away and forget she knew him, but she'd tried that before and it would no more work now as it had then. Dean had a way of following her around.
"Hello!" She heard a voice ring out throughout her apartment. "CJ?"
She listened and instantly recognised the voice. She got up to her feet and rushed out of her room toward his location. "Danny."
He looked from the broken glass and porcelain on the floor to her face, "What happened? Are you OK?"
She nodded, "I was venting my anger. It was smash up this place or take a seat on death row with the other murderers."
"Let me guess, this guy has something to do with it?" He asked holding up the frame that had once taken pride of place in her bedroom.
"How did you-" She started, wondering how he'd come to be in possession of that particular item. "Oh my God, it didn't hit you did it?"
He smiled and shook his head, "It landed at my feet. One more step and you might have gotten an accidental manslaughter charge instead."
"My God, I'm sorry." She apologised as she made her way over to him and took her property back. "I shouldn't let him get to me but he's so good at it."
"What's he done?"
She exhaled as she made her way to the lounge. "Nothing, its just Dean being Dean."
"Do you need me to rough him up a little?" He joked following her.
"Oh no, if anyone's getting that satisfaction, it's me." She countered.
"Alright well, what can I do?"
"Know any good glass places that can fit me a new window by tonight?"
"As a matter of fact, I do. I'll go make a call and then I'll help you clean up here."
"No Danny, you don't need to do that. I can get this cleaned up myself."
"You sure?"
"Yeah, but if you could sweep the glass up off the street I'd be grateful."
"Consider it done." He said turning to leave.
"Hey." She stopped him. "Thanks."
"No problem. Just remind me never to get on the wrong side of you." He laughed.
= X =
Bobby smiled at his grandson as he strapped him back into his stroller after feeding him his dinner. "Right little man, you ready to go back to Mommy?" He asked rhetorically. He knew DJ wasn't capable of speaking yet, but talking to him was going to be the quickest way to achieve that goal so he did it regardless.
"Bobby." He heard Dean approach from the library. "CJ and I kinda got into it earlier, so would you mind if I took him back? I'd like to put it right."
"Can you?"
He shrugged, "I wanna try."
"Boy, every time you're around her lately, you two are fighting. It's not fair on her, on you or DJ. He doesn't need to grow up thinking his parents hate each other."
"I know, you're right. I keep trying to make it better between us but everything I say is wrong. I just can't seem to put it right."
"Because you're punishing yourself. You think you don't deserve her, so you push and you push and when she finally says 'enough' you can give yourself a big old pat on the back because, that's your pay off."
Dean frowned, "Dr. Phil?"
He shrugged, "CJ brought me his book when I couldn't get my head out of the bottle." He admitted. "The point is, if you don't want to be with her, you gotta let her go so she can move on with her life."
"She already has, with Danny."
"That was one cup of coffee and she only did that to get you to open your eyes."
"What if it's too late? I said some horrible things to her earlier."
"Boy, you two have been beating each other up with words since you were 10. What makes you think that 20 years changes anything?"
"So, you'll let me take him home?"
He shook his head, "If you two are going to fight, I think its best he stays here."
"I'm not going over there to fight."
"Oh, you'll get one. If I know my Princess, she'll have a rolling pin waiting for you when you get there."
= X =
Christina swept up the last of the mess in the hall with a dustpan and disposed of it in the waste bin she'd taken from the kitchen. The noise as all the broken pieces disappeared into the garbage bag meant she didn't hear him arrive. But she stopped dead in her tracks when she spun on her heel to face him as he stood in the open doorway.
She sighed, "What do you want?"
"What happened?" He asked referring to the mess she'd cleaned up.
"You." She answered, taking the garbage back to the kitchen and throwing the dustpan under the sink. She turned back, to find he'd followed her and shifted to lean on the work surface with one hand while the other came up to rest on her hip. "You didn't answer my question, why are you here?"
"I came to apologise."
"Again? Well you know what? I'm getting a little sick and tired of your empty apologies. So why don't save yourself the breath for next time?"
"I hate hurting you."
"Then why is it you keep doing exactly that?"
"Because I'm stupid and I don't know a good thing when I have it."
She stood still, staring at him, trying to gage where his sudden turn around had come from but it dawned on her that she really didn't care. She was sick of giving him power over her and it was time she stood up to him. "Fine, you've apologised. Now you can go." She said, walking to where he stood in the doorway to get past him.
But he grabbed her arm and pulled her back to face him before she could leave the room. Her reflexes were fast, and she pulled her arm out of his grasp before he had a firm hold.
"Don't." She warned.
He sighed, "Tell me how I make it right." He almost pleaded.
"There is no making it right Dean. Just go wherever it is you want to go and leave me the hell alone."
"I find it hard to believe we're past repair. We've put each other through worse than this before."
She turned on him like an attack dog, "No. You have put me through worse than this, but I've decided I'm not going to take it anymore. You've always called the shots and I've always obeyed your every command when it's come to a relationship between us, well now it's my turn. You don't get to decide anymore. So do us both a favour, and just be there for our son. Forget we ever meant anything to each other, because I am done wanting anything from you."
= A Week Later =
Dean was lying in bed fast asleep, using his leather jacket as warmth, as his brother moved about the room quietly. He was fully dressed and was careful not to cause too much noise. He didn't want him to catch him sneaking out in the middle of the night because he knew that – left alone - Dean would be out until morning. He grabbed his coat and slipped out silently.
Behind his eyes Dean was back in Hell, reliving everything he'd endured during his time there. It haunted him. He could see his face; red – covered in blood – and then he heard his screams. His eyes snapped open, and the images immediately disappeared. He tried to get his breath back. He had barely had a peaceful night's sleep in the time he'd been back and it was frustrating because he was never properly rested.
"Hello Dean." Castiel's voice filtered into the dark, silent room. Dean looked over his shoulder to see him sitting on the other side of the bed. "What were you dreaming about?"
He uncovered his body, shoving his jacket off his arm. "What, do you get your freak on by watching other people sleep?" He asked disgruntled. "What do you want?"
"Listen to me, you have to stop it."
Dean raised an eyebrow, "Stop what?"
But Castiel just raised his right hand and placed two fingers on Dean's forehead in response.
= X =
Christina and Dean hadn't spoken in a week, since their fight. He'd given her the space she asked for – too proud to fight for what he'd discovered he wanted – and she'd kept her distance – too angry to be flexible when it came to her demands.
She'd had moments when she felt bad about the way she'd left things with him – knowing in her heart that he was only trying to put right what he'd made wrong – only those feelings disappeared before she talked herself into calling him and apologising. She wasn't sure what had come over her but the anger just wouldn't go away. Every time she thought about him, she got so mad she could barely think straight.
It had been strange not having any contact for the week but she needed to calm down before she could even consider being around him with DJ. And she knew that he'd taken some notice of the things she'd said this time because he hadn't attempted to make contact either.
It had truly surprised her how well she'd adapted to having a Dean free life. She wasn't wallowing. She wasn't mourning the passing of their relationship. She was actually finding it easier to cope now she'd decided to let him go. She'd also got to spend more time with Danny and had to come to find herself looking forward to seeing him because she actually liked him.
= X =
Dean gasped as he woke up on his bed and lifted his head off the pillow. Castiel had transported him back in time to 1973 in Lawrence, Kansas where his parents were growing up to prevent his mother making a deal with Azazel in exchange for John's life and he'd failed. He'd been too late to stop Mary giving Yellow-Eyes the permission to enter her home ten years later, in order to feed six month old Sam on demon blood – of course she hadn't known then why he'd wanted access, but in order to have the love her life back in it she'd granted his request without querying the reason for it.
Dean looked over at the angel, who was stood near the foot of his bed, as he threw his legs off the side and sat on the edge. "I couldn't stop any of it. She still made the deal." He said about his mom, disappointed by his efforts to prevent it. "She still died in the nursery didn't she?"
Castiel didn't make eye contact with the man. "Don't be too hard on yourself, you couldn't have stopped it."
Dean slowly got up off the bed, looking at the Supreme Being. "What?"
"Destiny can't be changed Dean, all roads lead to the same direction."
"Then why'd you send me back?"
"For the truth, now you know everything we do."
"What the hell are you talking about?" Castiel nodded over to the other bed in the room, to draw attention to the fact that Sam wasn't where he was supposed to be. "Where's Sam?"
"We know what Azazel did to your brother, what we don't know is why, what his endgame is. He went to great lengths to cover that up."
But he hadn't answered his question. "Where's Sam?"
"425 Waterman." Dean headed for the door, grabbing his keys and his jacket on the way as Castiel continued to talk, seemingly oblivious to his movement. "Your brother is headed down a dangerous road Dean, and we're not sure where it leads, so stop it." He ordered, shifting his eyes to his in order to emphasize his words. "Or we will."
The intensity in the room made him realise not to take the angel's threat lightly. He had no idea what Sam was doing, or why he had snuck out in the middle of the night, but if he had to stop him from it – he knew it couldn't be good.
= X =
The possessed man sat in the middle of a Devil's Trap chained to a chair waiting for whatever was in store for him. Sam stood in front of him and the demon he'd kept hidden from his brother, stood to the man's right.
"Where's Lilith?" Sam asked forcefully.
The possessed stranger gritted his teeth, "Kiss my ass." He said, his eyes turning black.
"I'd watch myself if I were you." The young Winchester man told him.
"Why? Huh? Because you're Sam Winchester – Mr. Big Hero? And yet here you are, slutting around with some demon. Real hero."
Sam's face immediately masked anger. "Shut your mouth."
"Tell me about those months without your brother. About all the things you and this demon bitch do in the dark." He said, causing Ruby to throw the hunter a look. "Huh? Tell me, hero."
Sam had heard enough. The anger pumped through his veins and he used it to force the demon out of the man's body. The black smoke of the demon fell and burned through the floor beneath the chair, sending it back to hell. Sam fought to get himself under control as Ruby looked down at the residue of the demon on the floor and a smile played on her lips. The two of them exchanged a look and he gave her a little smile. But what neither of them realised was that they were being watched. Dean looked in through the window, witnessing just how far his brother's power had progressed and he felt sick to his stomach.
Sam reached out to check the pulse of the man unconsciously bound to the chair and he smiled at Ruby to indicate his heart was still beating.
"How'd it feel?" Ruby asked eager for details.
"Good. No more headaches." He replied beginning to untie the man.
"None? That's good." She said as the man started to regain consciousness.
"Hey, hey. I got you. It's all right." Sam said helping him out of the chair and beginning to walk him toward the door. But he stopped dead in his tracks when it opened and revealed an angry looking Dean.
"So… anything you wanna tell me Sam?" He asked, his mood reflected in his tone.
He did his best to portray innocence as Ruby stood behind him, watching, as the older brother got closer, "Dean, hold on, OK? Just let me-"
"You gonna say, let me explain?" He stopped him short. "You're gonna explain this? How about this, why don't you start with who she is, and what the hell is she doing here?" He asked looking at him with hard eyes.
Sam turned to look at her. She was calm and a smile played on her lips as she responded to his questions. "It's good to see you again Dean."
He frowned back, "Ruby?" He asked, before looking to his brother. "Is that Ruby?"
The younger man couldn't respond. The shock that he'd been found out, made him mute. He couldn't explain his way out of the lies he'd told so it was best he just didn't say anything.
Dean looked at the only female in the room, to find her smile fading. He paused, considering his next move and then he pounced, grabbing a hold of her and shoving her up against the nearest wall. He pulled out the knife that's blade was etched with symbols – her knife – and was about to strike when Sam grabbed his hand.
"Don't!" He called out, tussling for the weapon, that he managed to take from him as Dean threw him against another wall. But Ruby grabbed him and held him against the wall she'd been pinned to seconds earlier. "Ruby! Stop it!"
She hesitated, staring into the eyes of the man who'd attacked her first, keeping her chokehold on him with her right hand. Dean stared back, with revulsion, his anger emulated in his expression. Then she released him, allowing him to stand upright.
He looked to Sam and then back, "Well, aren't you an obedient little bitch?"
"Ruby." His brother broke the silence that followed. She pulled her eyes from him and looked at Sam. "Ruby, he's hurt." He said indicating to the man he'd pulled the demon out of. "Go."
She gave a final look to Dean before walking over to the man, placing his arm over her shoulder, and starting toward the exit.
"Where the hell do you think you're going?" He asked.
"The ER… unless you want to go another round first." She offered. But he remained quiet so she continued to walk out.
When his brother directed his eyes back to him, Sam felt obliged to fill the awkward silence by attempting an apology. "Dean." He said, but he didn't wait to hear what he had to say. He walked to the door he'd entered through and left. "Dean!"
= X =
Christina grabbed her cell phone as her tone started to sound throughout the apartment. She'd just got DJ down for the night and didn't want him disturbed so she slid it open and put it up to her ear before she had a chance to check the I.D. of the caller, "Hello?"
"Hey CJ."
She frowned, "Dean?"
"Yeah. Uh… I'm sorry for calling so late, but I needed to talk to someone."
Christina sensed the strain in his voice and the tension created by their last encounter was immediately forgotten. "No, it's OK. What's wrong?"
"I uh…" He inhaled deeply. "I just caught Sam with Ruby."
"Ruby?" She asked deciding it was best not to reveal she'd known about her all along.
"Yeah, he was pulling a demon out of some guy with his psychic mojo."
"What?" She asked in shock as she settled down on the couch.
"I don't know what's going on with him lately. He's secretive, he's lying to me… it's like I don't know him anymore."
She frowned, "What's he lied about?" She asked curiously, wondering if he'd ever brought up anything to do with her.
"Well, Ruby for one. He told me she was dead."
"Maybe it was just easier to let you think she was." She suggested, knowing that had been her reason for not telling him.
"Honestly, I don't really care why he didn't tell me about Ruby." He confessed. "But I asked him straight out about his E.S.P stuff CJ and he looked me in my face and flat out lied about using it."
She sighed, not sure what she could say to help, "What did he say when you found him?"
"I didn't give him much of a chance to say anything. I'm just so mad at him that I can't think straight."
"Listen to me, I know that he shouldn't have lied to you, but he is still your brother and that's got to count for something Dean. You went to Hell in order to bring him back, and I know you're hurt that he kept stuff from you, but you can't let it come between you. Whatever Lilith has in mind for both of you will only work if you're distanced. So put it right, and do it before she has a chance to strike."
= X =
Sam was sat at the dining table in the hotel room with a book when he heard the Impala pull up outside. He wasn't really reading because none of the information was going in – still – he sat there anticipating the return of his big brother. His eyes moved directly to the door as Dean walked in, and he got up to his feet, but he avoided eye contact as he grabbed his bag and started to collect his stuff.
Sam walked over to him, "Dean, what are you doing?" He asked, but his brother ignored him as he continued to pack. "What, are you, are you leaving?"
"You don't need me. You and Ruby go fight demons." He retaliated harshly grabbing his bag and heading for the door.
But Sam stood in his path, forcing him to move around him. "Hold on. Dean, come on, man." He protested against his apparent decision. Before he knew it, Dean turned and punched him in the mouth with his strongest hand. The force of the connection sent Sam 90 from his original position, but he quickly composed himself, looking back at his brother. "You satisfied?" He asked, to which Dean hit him again and threw his bag to the floor. He touched his lip to find he was bleeding. "I guess not."
His brother squinted at him. "Do you even know how far off the reservation you've gone? How far from normal? From human?"
"I'm just exorcising demons."
Dean was furious, "With your mind!" He exclaimed, before instantly regaining self-control. "What else can you do?"
"I can send them back to Hell. It only works with demons, and that's it."
Dean grabbed a hold of him by the lapel of his shirt and pushed him backward forcing Sam to move with him, "What else can you do?"
"I told you." He yelled back, pushing his hands away as they reached a standstill.
"And I have every reason in the world to believe that." He replied turning his back and stepping away.
"Look, I should have said something." Sam said causing his brother to pause. "I'm sorry Dean, I am. But try to see the other side here."
He turned to face him with thunder reflected in his eyes, "The other side?"
"I'm pulling demons out of innocent people."
"Use the knife!"
"The knife kills the victim! What I do, most of them survive! Look, I've saved more people in the last five months than we save in a year."
"That what Ruby want you to think? Huh? Kind of like the way she tricked you into using your powers?" Dean asked, shaking his head with disappointment. "Slippery slope brother, just wait and see, because it's gonna get darker and darker and God knows where it ends."
"I'm not gonna let it go too far." He insisted.
Dean smiled at his defence as he walked over to the wall and swung at the lamp on the side table, sending it crashing to the floor. His ferocity flared up again, "It's already gone too far Sam. If I didn't know you… I would wanna hunt you." The youngest Winchester took on board his brother's comment and nodded as he broke eye contact. "And so would other hunters."
He looked back at him with tears in his eyes, "You were gone. I was here. I had to keep on fighting without you, and what I'm doing… it works."
"Well, tell me. If it's so terrific… then why'd you lie about it to me?" He asked causing Sam to drop his eyes to the floor. "Why did an angel tell me to stop you?"
He looked back up, surprise evident on his face, "What?"
"Cas said that if I don't stop you, he will." He got right up close to the man he was confronting. "See what that means, Sam? That means that God doesn't want you doing this. So, are you just gonna stand there and tell me everything is all good?"
The two of them exchanged glances, Dean was fuelled with anger and Sam was overcome with guilt. He knew his brother was right; there was a reason he'd kept his recent activity quiet but he truly felt like he was doing more good than harm. He was saving people exorcising demons like he was and he wasn't about to apologise for it.
Suddenly the silence in the room was interrupted by Sam's cell phone ringing, so he moved to answer it. "Hello?" He asked pinching the bridge of his nose in a bid to collect his equanimity. "Hey Travis. Yeah, hey… uh… it's good to hear your voice too, yeah. Um, look, it's not really a good time right now. It's… yeah, OK. Uh, well, just give me the details and uh… Carthage, Missouri." Dean heard catching only one side of the conversation. He watched his brother walk to the hotel stationary on the bedside and jot something down. "Looking for Jack Montgomery." He repeated putting down the pen and ending the call.
= X =
The boys had been travelling in silence since they'd left the hotel. The silence was deafening, neither of them knew how to put things right – or if it could be. But his conversation with Christina echoed in Dean's mind, whatever Lilith has in mind for both of you will only work if you're distanced. Things were strained between them and Dean knew she was right; he had to bridge the gap.
= X =
Christina lay in bed trying to sleep, but failed. She'd been on edge, tossing and turning since she'd decided to get an early night. Her phone call with Dean had been at the forefront of her mind since she'd hung up. She hated it when the brothers fought because they'd always been so close, and she had seen glimpses of the future – making sure it didn't happen depended on them being strong, like a unit – and any conflict between them would only do more harm than good. Of course, the small fragments she saw didn't give her much to go on – but she felt the pain of lost hope when she'd seen the Winchesters. They had been torn apart and she didn't know why or how, but she'd bet it had everything to do with Ruby, especially knowing how each of the brothers felt about her. Her own opinion wasn't exactly a secret – to Sam or Dean – however, she realised that maybe she needed to do more to ensure the men she considered family remained that way.
= X =
"I can't believe it. Mom, a hunter?" Sam said after hearing Dean's story of going back to 1973 and seeing their parents before they were married.
"I wouldn't have believed it either if I hadn't seen it myself." Dean confessed as he continued to drive toward their destination. "That woman could kick some ass. I mean, she almost took me down."
"How'd she look? I mean… was she happy?"
"Yeah, she was awesome. Funny and smart, so hopeful." He replied looking at him for a moment and then at the road again. "Dad too, until of course…" He heard his brother sigh. "What?"
Sam looked out of his window, "Nothing." He watched the night flashing by for a minute before turning back to his older sibling. "It's just, our parents and now we find out our grandparents too? Our whole family murdered and for what? So Yellow Eyes could get in my nursery and bleed in my mouth?"
Dean hesitated, thinking over everything he'd told him about his trip to the past, "Sam, I never said anything about demon blood." He said glancing at him to find a look of guilt plastered on his face. "You knew about that?"
Sam couldn't bring himself to look at him, "Yeah, for about a year."
He looked back to the road and raised his eyebrows, "A whole year?" He asked rhetorically in a sarcastic tone.
"I should have told you. I'm sorry."
"You've been saying that a lot lately Sam. But, whatever, you don't want to tell me, you don't have to. It's fine."
"Dean." He said finding him with his eyes. But he was unresponsive as he kept his focus on the road. "Whatever." Sam sighed.
The silence filled the car, the tension was ripe but they still had a while to go before they reached Missouri and Dean still had one more thing he had been dying to bring up. Seeing as his brother was in a confessional mood he was going to push the Christina issue again, "Why didn't you stick around with CJ when I…" He cleared his throat, struggling with the last word of his question, "…died."
He frowned back, "I did. I stayed with her for six weeks to make sure she was OK with DJ before I took off."
"She told me she hadn't seen you since I got ganked." He informed him. "Why would she lie to me?"
Sam couldn't look his brother in the eye as he replied with a shrug of his shoulders.
The frown stayed on Dean's face, "What happened Sam? And before you tell me I'm imagining it, I know you're hiding something. So tell me…" He paused. "Did something happen between you two?"
He knew he'd have to confess now because his brother wasn't about to let it go when he was so close to finding out, "Almost." He sighed.
"Almost?" He repeated, his eyes bulging out of their sockets, "What, almost?"
He turned in his seat, "Alright, before you freak out, nothing happened. She stopped it."
His eyes opened wider, "What did she stop Sam?"
"It was just a kiss."
"Just a kiss?" He repeated.
"We'd just lost you Dean, and… as soon as it happened, we both knew it was a mistake."