It's been a week and I was still feeling overly stressed. The bags under my eyes were growing large and were darkened. My meals suddenly became one snack a day and I confined myself to my room everyday. My grandmother still hasn't woken up and has worried my grandpa sick, she's worried us all. My mom has been keeping calm because she's pregnant and believes that the babies will come out messed up if she doesn't try to make herself seem calm and collected. But underneath that tough exterior, we all knew she was scared.

And I really missed Josh. I missed him more than I had wanted to. He had a huge effect on me and I missed him more than anything. He always left me messages saying that he was sorry for upsetting me and sometimes he would call completely upset with me and leave me mean messages but would immediately call back and apologize and say that he needed to get angry for a scene he was doing and couldn't shake off the emotion. But I knew that he was upset with me. He was upset with the way that I was behaving. But he had to understand, my life was a mess then and I couldn't mix his life with mine. It would just be impossible. I still listened to every message. I missed talking to him. I missed responding to him. He was my lifeline in this town and I cut him off.

My mom was at an appointment one Saturday afternoon and it was just three days away from Christmas. I was lying on my bed and staring up at the ceiling. It was nothing of personal interest; I just needed to keep my eyes busy while I thought. I thought about Josh and whether or not I should call him and let him know how I feel. But If I did that, it would give him the idea that I'm soft on his offer and will go to the premiere with him. He did go through an awful lot to get me that dress though, and it is beautiful. But I can't wear it to another event when he specifically bought it for this one.

I was completely lost. I just wish he hadn't asked me to go. I wish that he just wanted to remain friends and wouldn't leave me nasty messages and make me feel bad.

I heard a knock on the door and slumped downstairs to open it. When I opened I was quite surprised to see a very unhappy girl standing there.

"Why haven't you been talking to him?" Anna spoke loudly and sharply.

"What? How did you- why are you-" I was interrupted

"Josh has called me and told me that you aren't speaking to him and it's making him really upset. I don't like it when my friends are upset." She said walking inside the house and bringing the cold with her. She stood behind me as I closed the door and I faced her as she crossed her arms and stood like my mother did when I would stay out too late.

"Josh is worried about you. He heard about your grandma and what happened at school."

"How did he hear about that?" I asked shocked

"You told your mom, your mom tells his parents, and his parents tell him. It's the circle of life." She said

"Okay look, I do like Josh, A lot more than I wanted to, but he needs to understand that with everything that's going on in my life right now, intertwining his life with mine is going to be hectic, and I am just not strong enough to handle that." I said sitting on the couch, depressed. Anna walked over and sat next to me and shifted slightly.

"But you're putting Josh through something too. You make Josh feel good about himself, and make him feel like he can be himself around you and doesn't have to worry about crazy fans going after him. He thinks that it's a good thing that you're not familiar with his work because you don't act like some crazed fan. He thinks you're special and grind-" She paused for a second and stared into space.

"I'm special and what?" I asked

"Well why don't you talk to her?" She whispered. "I can't do this, the reception is crap." She said

"Excuse me?" I asked. Anna looked at me and ripped a phone piece out of her ear.

"I'm tired of this thing between you two. Josh told me to come here and act all angry and tell you everything that he wants to say since you're not answering his calls but I've had enough. You two are making up and you're making up now." She stuck the piece in my ear and cupped her hands over my ear so I couldn't rip it off. Now my hair was ruffed all over my face and I was too nervous to talk.

"Evangeline?" I heard Josh's sweet voice say to me. I hadn't heard my name come fresh from his lips in so long.

I just couldn't resist.

"Josh?" I replied.

"Oh it's so good to hear your voice. I miss you. I'm sorry that I just sprang that on you. I didn't mean to make you upset or anything, I was only hoping that you would want to go on a date but I understand if you don't want to." He said all too quickly. I didn't speak for a while. I just thought about what to say next. Every solution that I had in my head or every way I thought this would turn out just wouldn't process straight.

"You miss me?" I asked. It wasn't what I wanted to say but I liked hearing that he missed me and I wanted to hear his voice. I missed everything that he would say to me, no matter how silly or insane it sounded.

"Well of course I do. I think about you a lot. You're on my mind so much that we actually had to redo some scenes. I feel bad for all those messages and bothering you so much. I am sorry for everything that is going on in your family and life right now. I just wish I could be there to make it better." He said. I felt a pang in my chest and the tears were stinging the rims of my eyes. I wanted to tell him how sorry I was and that I would go to premiere with him but my pride just wouldn't let me do that.

"Josh, I-" I started but stopped myself. I couldn't think of anything to say. I just sat there. Keeping him and Anna wondering what I was going to say. It was then that I realized it's now my turn to make things right, and I just didn't know how.

"I don't know what to say." I finished. I heard Anna sigh as if she was disappointed, and I couldn't agree with her more.

"Well, then I guess I don't either." Josh said back after a moment. Anna eventually took her hands off my head and let me talk to Josh on my own. "You know Evangeline; I've tried my best to keep my opinion to myself because I knew you would come through somehow. I thought you were the type of person who didn't care what others think. I know you're much stronger than you give yourself credit for. The Evangeline that I met was strong and creative. She was mad about moving to Kentucky but she was coping and starting to love it. What you did with your room was something I was lucky to be a part of because I got to see a side of you that made you feel strong and independent. That Evangeline was the one who I fell for. She knew how to laugh and didn't care what others thought or said. She loved who she was and expressed it, strongly. But now, your pride is just too strong that it's turned you into something that you feared. I can tell that this isn't going to work unless you stop caring about what others think. Why can't you think about what you want for once? Tell me what you want!"

I couldn't think of anything to say. Josh had me stumped. What I wanted was a life with him and to be care free and be creative, but I had to think of all the things that came with the life I wanted. It wasn't always care free and fun. Aside from being a teenager, you need to keep your name clean which is impossible with the way gossip travels across the world

I sat there for a while. I knew he was expecting an answer. I knew I had to give one but I just couldn't think of it. I heard him sigh and I said, "I can't."

"Exactly. I guess this is goodbye for now isn't it?" he asked, His voice breaking from sadness.

"I guess it is, for now." I answered. I heard him hang up and I dropped the ear piece in Anna's hand. She picked it up and said goodbye. She had hoped that everything between Josh and I would work out but we could only find out in the end.