I hope I've gotten a good mixture of Jiraiya's perverted motivations as well as Martial Arts and Shinobi training all mixed together. I've read quite a few fanfictions and was disappointed at the theory not being grasped by other authors.
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Naruto grumbled to himself, laying in his bed, his window open with a gentle breeze blowing. It had already been a few weeks, but no missions. Maybe it was just because his team sort of disolved, though it didn't upset Naruto - bad luck had plagued him the moment he was born. Trying to take his mind off the lack of action, he let it wander.
Why was everyone in his life so weird? All his friends were weird. All his family-like figures were weird. All his mentors were weird. Or was he the weird one, and this was just common environment for a Shinobi? Naruto profiled all the prominent figures in his life currently - something Jiraiya had trained him earlier that day to do. Naruto started with his friends, mainly because it was the largest group.
Rock Lee: Nickname, 'Fuzzy Eyebrows.' Rock Lee's taijutsu is his only outstanding Shinobi trait, but he is an enduring, hard worker. Rock Lee's hobbies include insane physical training, babbling enthusiastically about the fire of youth and idolizing his Jackie Chan look-a-like sensei, Maitto Gai.
Neji: He was obsessed with fate. That's delving deep enough.
Tenten: She hangs around with three weirdoes all day and hasn't cracked yet. There has to be something abnormal about the sweet girl. Naruto paused his thoughts for a moment. 62cm, 50cm, 60cm(1) Naruto rattled off in his head, and nodded to himself confidently.
Inuzuka Kiba: An equally loud and arrogant adolescent to myself. I've heard he's taken his dog out to aerial pee before..makes one wonder...
Aburame Shino: The most silent of our peers. The only time I've ever seen him laugh is when he ate laughing poison.
Hyuuga Hinata: A very timid, shy, dark sort of girl who normally becomes bashful when I try talking to her and looks away. She's prone to fainting and blushing frequently. 74cm, 55cm, 78cm Naruto mulled over the measurements.
Akamichi Chouji: While eating all the time doesn't sound that odd, he becomes extremely competitive and dramatic when 'the last bite,' is involved.
Nara Shikamaru: A lazy guy who would rather stare his life away at the sky, yet was the first to receive Chuunin rank. Talk about weird.
Yamanaka Ino: A girl who used to be a Sasuke freak, she seems to have calmed down on that aspect. However, she's still unnaturally obsessed with being slim. Hm..55cm, 45cm, 62cm I think.
Haruno Sakura: Another former Sasuke freak, though she clearly still 'holds a candle' to that dumbass as Jiraiya would put it. She has a big forehead. 67cm, 50cm, 70cm.
Uchiha Sasuke: Naruto tossed his head in anger and skipped the jerk. That left his family figures and mentors.
Hatake Kakashi: One-eyed weirdo obsessed with Ero-senin's book. He's normally so into it he can't hold a conversation properly. Naruto hadn't seen his former sensei since that fateful night a long time ago. He wondered if he was alright.. Kakashi shuddered uncontrollably, huddled up in the corner of a dimmed, white room that only had a modest bed shoved to another corner. Tsunade frowned, knitting her small eyebrows and sighed. "What a time for a Jounin to have a break down.."
Ero-senin: A super open pervert, shameless and bold in his ways of perversion. In a way he is fatherly, in another way he's a jerk who uses me as a throw-away pawn whenever we get discovered due to his overly enthusiastic and excited peeping.
Unimo Iruka: A 'normal' pervert school teacher who in a sense raised me a bit. For those who wanted to argue it, I've KO'd him on several occasions with Sexy No Jutsu.
Naruto paused, then smiled. Yes, he concidered him a mentor too.
Fang Shirasei: A thoughtful, young man who is 'unashamed' about being involved with a girl. The most peculiar thing about him is he seems to shut off his brain when he fights. Naruto sighed. Shirasei had sort of taken the brother role Sasuke had abandoned, but unfortunately, the older shinobi could not really be around Naruto. He was from a different village and on a mission that had him traveling for an unknown amount of time. In their short time together though (not even a day), Naruto had felt the young man could really understand and relate to the blonde nin - at least more so than anyone else so far, and that there was a lot of things Shirasei could teach him. He sighed again, hoping to see his 'aniki' another time in the near future.
Speaking of training, Naruto's lessons with Jiraiya were progressing well. Unfortunately to Naruto who had hoped to immediately jump into a lot of tantalizing jutsus, Jiraiya had Naruto learning the basics of being a stalker and spy, undoubtably to help him in his 'information gatherings' for his Icha Icha Paradise book series ultimately. Naruto often found himself struggling with the urges of spying on his female peers, particularly a mysterious, bashful one. He had to know, but he knew he shouldn't do it. And worse - now he had the capabilities to spy with reckless abandon like Jiraiya. What would Shirasei tell Naruto? The young nin thought for a few moments. 'Everything in moderation, kid. If you go overboard, well, look at your sensei..' sounded out in Shirasei's deep voice. It seemed to fit the bill, but it still troubled Naruto since it basically told him to peep sometimes to satisfy his curiosity. He turned over uneasily, trying to slip away into peaceful sleep. He couldn't though.
All this..perversion..was stirring up his inner demon. At first Naruto wouldn't remember his dreams, but then they started to stick to his memory rather vividly. Or were they dreams? The fox would sometimes immitate his female peers and seduce him or worse. Then sometimes it would take on its own form that rivaled Tsunade's in measurements, having a head of flowing, calf-lengthed orange-red untamed hair with short, uneven bangs and smoldering red eyes. Naruto..didn't like the things the demon would do to him, like what he had seen in Icha Icha Paradise, yet he would like them at the same time. It was a weird, uncomfortable sensation in his stomach mainly that was addictive.
Naruto pawed his face. Damn Ero-senin..he's causing all this..weirdness. The troubled youth eventually did find sleep, and of course was molested by his inner demon a good deal that night. No need to go into details.
When Naruto awoke with yet again, a sticky lap, he sighed. Hot shower, hot raman, fresh air. Naruto took to the roofs, searching for Jiraiya. After twenty minutes of no success though, he got worried. Did he get caught and is being held up somewhere? That'd probably be the police station..or maybe Obaachan sent him on a mission by himself. That'd mean bugging her but, between the police station and Obaachan..well, I have some complaints hanging on me right now, so as Jiraiya would say, 'laying low' is the best idea. Naruto directed himself to Tsunade's office.
Outside of the Hokage's doors, he opened it a crack, going normal pace to enter. However, he immediately met the soft but intelligible hum of a conversation and quickly stuck his fingers in the crack and managed to hook his fingers over its edge, stopping the door. He listened intently. It was the results of Jiraiya's training.
"Hokage-sama," a deep voice pleaded. "I know my country's made mistakes in the past with Konoha, but we have new leadership now. Wind Country allying itself with you made us have to as well, being we're right on your boarder. You have to trust me, Akatsuki's a threat to everyone." Tsunade answered with an irritable throat noise. "Please, you have to let me see your Sanin teammate. If you think I'm plotting anything, there's a reason why he's legendary. He wouldn't have a problem with a shinobi like myself."
Silence pursued, then Tsunade's youthful voice reached Naruto. "Jiraiya the Frog Charmer is out of the country. You can stay for the next few days waiting for his return, but you'll be under surveillance understandably." Naruto got the distinct image of Tsunade rubbing knitted eyebrows in his mind's eye(2). It was a 'muscle' that Jiraiya had him develop a lot over the last few weeks. His mind's eye already had seen through the door and drawn who the other voice belonged to as well.
"If you'd excuse me then, Hokage-sama," the voice requested. Naruto heard Tsunade give an 'mh,' which he assumed was paired with a nod. The door's edge was gripped by nin-wrapped fingertips. As the door lifted away to reveal a familiar soft, blue and black plaid collared shirt, Naruto's expression lifted. Before Shirasei could make a surprised comment upon coming across the young nin suddenly, Tsunade's voice called out from over his shoulder.
"Hey, hey! Is that Naruto? Watch over that shinobi while he stays in our country, understood?" She sighed, close save. With Jiraiya gone, she could've had her hands full with a restless Naruto. Apparently her Sanin comrade had been rubbing off bad habits, teaching Naruto 'everything.' There was a small stack on her desk exclusively comprised of Naruto complaints - perverted ones.
"Yatta!" Naruto jumped for joy, pumping his arm. It surprised Tsunade who had expected a fierce battle of wills coming since she knew Naruto hated 'babysitting' missions, but smiling to herself, she decided not to create any unnecessary trouble, watching the two leave.
"When it rains, it pours huh?" Shirasei sighed through his half hair-covered face and stared a bit up at the sky.
"Ne? What's wrong aniki?" Naruto tugged on Shirasei's sleeve.
"Naruto," Shirasei chided, pulling his arm away. "You don't have to cling. What's on your mind?" He said almost irritably.
"Ano..ano I was wondering if um.." Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "..if you could um..train me a little?" He grinned at the late-teenager.
"Train you?" Shirasei blinked at Naruto. The ring under his eye had lifted to almost undetectable status. Shirasei thought to himself quietly for a while, then turned back to Naruto as they walked. "I'll train you, but I can garauntee you won't like it, kid."
"Really?" Naruto ignored the end of the agreement, getting very excited. "What kinda super jutsu are you going to teach me? Will I be a crazy taijutsu fighter like you and Hinata-chan?!" Naruto bounced with energy. At first Shirasei was annoyed, but his features softened after that line.
"Mm..where is your little friend by the way?" Shirasei looked around, as if Hinata was hiding nearby (she was, blushing after being mentioned twice, but wasn't spotted because at that moment she had ducked behind her tree).
"Huh? I dunno, I guess a mission." Naruto trailed off, but shot right back at the original topic. "So what're you gonna train me in? What do I need to get?" They had arived at the local inn's entrance.
"Nothing, kid. I have everything you'll need for this." Shirase registered at the counter, Naruto hardly being able to contain his joy. They continued down the hall to Shirasei's room, and entered the small, modest area after the older shinobi unlocked it. Naruto retrained himself from jumping on the bed, screaming for joy. Finally a sensei with..sense.
"Mm..well then." Shirasei rotated his shoulder, popping it. With a wince he groaned. Naruto's energy leveled and he became serious, as if preparing for a sparring session. Shirasei went over to the bed and picked up a writing pad and pen. He sat down on the side of the edge of the bed, and smiled at Naruto. The blonde nin walked over to Shirasei curiously, and blinked.
"Aniki, what're you doing? Aren't we going to go outside and train?"
"I told you we'll train, but we don't have to go outside for it. Here." Shirasei stuck the edge of the writing pad into Naruto and held out the pen. Naruto instantly became wide-eyed to the point of hurt with his mouth gaping.
"I'm not in the academy anymore dattebayo! What're you trying to give me homework for!" He squirmed away from the writing implements, clawing at the wall while fearfully watching the older shinobi. Shirasei couldn't help but chuckle mildly.
"Ahou, this will help your nindo. Come here and at least give it a try." Naruto froze, remembering his first trip all alone with Hinata. He had to try new things at least once. Begrudgingly he returned to Shirasei and picked up the two items unwieldedly. "See? Not so bad now. I'm sure you're wondering why I chose this way to train you, correct?" Shirasei looked patiently at Naruto's sour face, who only deemed the question nod worthy. "This may surprise you, but writing and taijutsu are very similiar. Both stretch for rare paths. Undiscovered, unique and moving beauty is if you were to ask me, just as powerful as your one jutsu you used the first time we met." Shirasei played with his hair, noticing Naruto's lost look. "If you expand this," Shirasei touched his own temple, "then you increase the strength of your ninja talents. It's important to have an imaginative mind and strong heart, not just drown yourself in jutsu, Naruto." Naruto thought about it, and nodded. The blonde nin sat himself down next to his larger friend.
"Ano..what do you want me to do though?" Naruto blinked at the pad.
"Hm..well for future training, perhaps it would be best to teach you this excersize. It's something I still use all the time to this day." Shirasei took the pad and wrote towards the left, 'Shirasei,' then towards the right, 'Naruto.' Smiling, he began to jot down what looked like random notes underneath his name(3) - "Prefers Taijutsu(4), has weak seal knowledge and use(2), has moderate genjutsu(2), excels at ninjutsu(4), moderate force(2), moderate speed(2), moderate stamina(2). Fairly weak at long distance fighting, and larger weapons." he smiled at Naruto, placing the pad in the younger nin's lap and then the pen ontop of it. "My details are of course, more in-depth. I've had a bingo book(4) page or two of myself shoved in my face before. Don't be disappointed though, try to write what you prefer and excel at and what you don't and feel you are lacking.
Naruto bit his lip, then began to fill it out. When he had finished, Shirasei smiled softly and took the pad back, striking a line under the furthest comment. He then put their names again similiarly. "Now that we know what our strengths and weaknesses are comparatively, we can try to see what would be the best method to train together. What you do is draw two circles (the young man did so) with a good portion connecting. We put our shared traits in the portion that both circles share, our opposites on the furthest side of the circles, and in-betweens well, halfway to the shared portion, see?" Shirasei began to fill out the diagram. Naruto had an enchanted look on his face as he issued a 'wow.'
"There. Here we see we both prefer taijutsu, so lots of unarmed combat sounds ideal for training together. We also are weak on genjutsu and seals, so no use trying to mess around with them when neither of us really knows what they're doing. Both of our ninjutsu is high, so we could test out advanced ninjutsu against each other, or possibly even come up with new ideas that would've only happened from sharing knowledge and theories with each other." Shirasei bit the end of his pen, thinking. "It's a very efficient way to find compatability with another person. This includes opponents, see?" Naruto nodded, still dumbfounded at the power of writing. "Here, if we look at it as if we were opponents, we see that our fight is going to consist of ninjutsu and taijutsu. We could expect the other to probably not use a weapon, and no truly fancy illusions. I would expect you to outlast me if we just stood there and slugged it out, and if you had the same information, you would be expecting me to end this fight as soon as possible if you took me as an experienced nin." Shirasei tapped the page a few times with each comparison he made. "This is something my best friend taught me, and I've used it almost every day ever since. It's like a habit for me know up here," Shirasei tapped his temple, looking down at the younger nin. Shirasei smiled warmly at Naruto, who broke a wide one of his own.
"Wow aniki. I thought being a shinobi had nothing to do with writing dattebayo! That's amazing, what else can you do with writing as a ninja?" The thought of how Naruto went from acting like it was the worst tasting medicine to the most delicious substance on earth amused the older ninja a bit.
"M..well." Shirasei turned to a fresh page. "While you probably won't hear it from anyone else, I've found writing and reading to help me a lot throughout my travels, even when I read and wrote about nothing to do with being a ninja." Naruto gave that confused look again.
He laughed softly at Naruto's expression. "Look, it's logic. Think about it this way - when you write something you want to be interesting, you need details, right? Details and information is a very important tool for nins. Some would even say it's a weapon. Creative writing and reading, including things that some would call silly such as poems I feel really helped myself expand in this area. Helped me to see things from different view points than what I would've initially thought. Helped me to create." Shirasei gave a soft expression to his younger companion, what must've been his look when he confessed something heartfelt and earnest. "The power of a creater is greater than that of a destroyer." Naruto didn't quite understand, but nodded anyways, wanting the lessons to continue.
"Ano..aniki you said here too," Naruto indicated his heart.
"Yes, I did. I met Sarutobi briefly, so I'd assume he's said something similiar before." Shirasei said with a faint smile. Naruto nodded once, solemly. "It's important to have things to cherish, to strive for, to want to protect, to want to achieve and create. This drive can push a person, regardless of their occupation, to its body and mind's limit. All three things are connected. Let me show you something that I've only shown one other person before," Shirasei said as he flipped through the filled pages. He came across one that had the words fairly spread out. "I wrote this for my lover, and it helps me remember even though I haven't seen her for a few years why I love her so much, what she looks like, how she felt, and that she's still waiting for me to return someday. The power of my heart helps my mind, see? And that can give me the strength I wouldn't have had sometimes to push myself further. Love is a very powerful thing, kid." Shirasei ruffled Naruto's messy hair at the 'cooties are gross' look he was given. Naruto turned his eyes down to the page below him(5).
The Queen of Dreams
On a rock with chestnut lockes,
Stands the Queen of my dreams.
With diamond tears she appears,
Standing there with wind in hair.
All can see that she holds a key,
A vital part that unlocks my heart.
She stands alone looking prone,
Watching for her missing lover.
She winces with reminiscence,
Trying to convince herself of her Prince.
His loving arms did no harm,
As he stroked her hair with only care.
Their eyes entwined until sunrise,
Holding each other as true lovers.
Now alone, trapped at home,
My Queen remembers her faded dream.
"Oh, aniki. Um.." Shirasei blinked at Naruto. "What's this word mean? And this, and this, and this?" Naruto began to tap different words with his finger tips. Shirasei hung his head and sighed, collecting up the writing pad and pen. "Nevermind, kid. Anyways, that's my training. I have to excersize and other junk, if you don't mind. Don't forget that this is something you can do completely on your own." He shooed an unwilling Naruto out of his room, who found himself lost in thought.
What Shirasei had shown Naruto was something he would've never imagined or linked to being a ninja. It was a completely different approach, and it could be applied to most things. It was intriguing. Naruto began to go down his list of 'weirdoes' and create dual circles in his mind.
"That kid," Shirasei muttered to himself, watching him from his balcony. "When it rains, it pours with him."
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Author's Notes
(1) These are measurements (bust, stomach, hips). What? Jiraiya trained him..keep in mind that these girls are adolescents, so tell me if you think it's wildly off. Unfortunately I'm no Jiraiya.
(2) In Zen, this is a highly practiced belief and ability that allows the person to visualize imagery in their mind and focus as if it was the only thing existing to them.
(3) The numbers following the listed attribute follow the same system and principle as seen in Naruto on their profile pages and cards on the website leafninja (linked in my profile). Ninjutsu (particularly powerful techniques are normally declared by 'ninpo' before the name) is the art of deception and stealth. Taijutsu is unarmed combat. Genjutsu is the art of creating illusions by affecting a victim's sensory system and in a way, being as real as possible without being real. Intelligence is a shinobi's ability to react to situations and process information, form strategies and create their own techniques. Force is a nin's strength. Speed is their movement capabilities. Stamina refers to a ninja's chakra reserves, though the author feels it also effects their physical stamina a great deal too. Seal Knowledge is one's understanding of the various hand seals, blood seals, curse seals and scroll seals which enables them to do many wonderous things, such as summon giant creatures to aid the ninja or create a barrier for example.
(4) The Bingo Book is a book every Chuunin and Jounin carries. It's a who's-who for every ninja country of its criminal or potentially dangerous ninja from its own country or rival countries. Bounties are also posted inside of these books.
(5) This is the author's very first poem. He still feels it's his best writing work to this day (other poetry he's written can be seen at his blog thingy which is linked on his profile page).