N/A: A little quicker update this time. :) This is a filler chapter, and the next one should be filled with more intrigue ;) I appreciate everyone who is reviewing, as it is fueling my creative flow. I hope you guys enjoy this part! :) BTW who is excited about watching Hugh Laurie on VEEP? TBH I've never even watched the show, but since he's going to be on it now, I guess I have to watch all three seasons that have already aired so I can watch him. Also, anyone planning on making any Gingerbread 'Houses' this holiday season? heh (stupid joke) anyway- now enjoy :)

The Letters

Part X

Brownies

It was a few minutes before Atticus came back out, and when he did, Lisa looked up at him with a straight face, "We're going to a party."

xxxoxxxo

February 14th, 1988

Atticus scratched the back of his neck and frowned, "Yeah…I don't think I can go."

"Why not?"

"I know its your birthday- but it's also still Valentines and Trevor made dinner reservations for us-"

She sighed and put up her hand, "Ok. I get it- no need to explain further."

They both said their goodbyes after that and went their separate ways, Lisa promising to stay in touch with him and finally put her grudge aside so she could meet Trevor.

When Atticus was long gone, she sat in the coffee shop, on a stool and looked down at what she was wearing- acid washed high-waisted skinny jeans and black long-sleeved turtle neck shirt- none of which was appropriate for a sorority Valentine party.

And after what she'd seen Trish wearing with Greg's arm wrapped around her shoulders, Lisa knew she'd have to up her game. It was then that she saw a brightly lit neon sign advertising the boutique directly across the street from the coffee shop with the tinniest little black dress on display in the window. It was almost as if it was luring her to it- calling her name.

Lisa Cuddy wasn't a girl that was much into shopping- but that also didn't mean that she didn't care about how she dressed herself. Looks just came in secondary to school, always had, always would and no guy had ever influenced her differently, that is- until now.

She licked her lips and bounced of the stool with vigor as she made a decision at that moment, that Gregory House would become hers at that party.

xxxoxxxo

The Present

Saturday

November 12th, 2005

Birds were chirping.

The sun was shining.

And that was an odd thing since it was november- and then he realized that it was the brightly lit TV, probably airing an outdoorsy commercial.

House hadn't even opened his eyes yet, but he felt just like that one time he'd taken ten Vicodin, and had been lulled to sleep- only this feeling was better. And he was pretty sure he even had a genuine smile on his face. And it was all due to one night with Cuddy.

He took a deep breath and turned his head over to look at her slumbering figure next to his- for there was no way she could be awake after the night they'd had, "Morning sunshine."

After exhaling and stretching a little, he opened his eyes and realized why there was no response-

Cuddy was gone.

xxxoxxxo

The Present

Monday

November 14th, 2006

"What do you think it means? You know…that she was gone?" House had just finished explaining the elaborate plan, that he'd executed with Cuddy.

They were in line at the cafeteria, and Wilson had taken a big intake of breath as he selected a garden salad, and House placed a ruben sandwich on his tray at the same time, not even skipping a beat as he did.

"I can think of a couple obvious reasons why she'd run out on you. And you were both sober when this act was committed?" He asked again, looking over at him incredulously.

"I'm sure being high on roofies warrants soberness, right?" House licked his lips and didn't use sarcasm with his remark.

Wilson thought for a moment, "Wait, isn't that what you did to her? Eons ago?"

After wilson paid and they got to their booth, House played with Wilson's apple in his hand, frowning as he thought back, "Roofies? God no- that was some other guy-"

"Uh- actually I was referring to your one nightstand in Anaheim, that you say she initiated and how you left that morning without any note or any goodbye. Though I'm a bit curious about the roofies now…"

"That was different- I had to catch my flight back to Virginia-"

After filling his fork with salad, he pointed it at House, "Ah- but you've said it yourself, that you never gave her an explanation. Maybe she's just repaying the favor."

House scoffed and rolled his eyes jokingly, "There's no way she'd fake six orgasms just to pull that."

Wilson, who was in the middle of swallowing food, nearly choked.

"What's an orgasm?"

Both men turned to see that Emily was standing right at front of their table with both hands behind her back, curiously eyeing House's pickle that he'd taken out of his sandwich.

"An orgasm is-"

Wilson kicked House and frowned at him- then cleared his throat, "He meant to say, honey- that he made six origamis- they're papers that have been folded to make a bird- or a swan-"

Emily turned away from Wilson, bored by his explanation and smiled at House, "Can I have your pickle?"

For the first time, House gladly handed his food to the little girl, as she eagerly took it right away, "Sure- but you're gross if you like pickles. This is just another reason why we can't be friends."

After Emily had swallowed what she was chewing on, she spoke up with shrugged arms, "My brother doesn't like them either and I never said I wanted to be your friend."

Wilson chuckled and House rolled his eyes.

He sighed- it was incredibly how easily he was irritated by children, "Great. Now scoot, we're having an adult conversation here."

"Lisa wants to see you." And after that she walked away, contently eating her pickle.

He scoffed, smiling over at Wilson as he got out of the booth and wiggled his eyebrows, "I'll give you the play by play later."

"Please don't-"

It was too late, House had swiftly hobbled away.

xxxoxxxo

He stood at the door of her office looking in. Cuddy was sitting in her desk chair looking over some papers, with a tiny line in-between her eyebrows- she was in deep concentration mode. It made House smile.

When he walked in without knocking, she looked up and for a moment he knew he saw a smile, that quickly evaporated away.

"I didn't know the hospital was in favor of child labor. If I'd known about that, I would have ditched my lackeys ages ago. Hiring kids to be messengers is much cheaper", he let out semi-nervous, though he doubted she'd be able to tell.

Cuddy smirked and shrugged, "It was her idea. She's taken a liking to you."

"Cuddy women seem to fancy me", he shrugged nonchalantly.

House searched for a tell-tale sign on her face, but she only looked back at him blankly. It was on purpose, and he realized it was because she knew he could read her.

"So what is it that you need sunshine? More of my services?" He looked down at his watch, "Because I still have about an hour left before I have to go back-"

"House, stop", Cuddy bit her lip and played with her pencil a little, "About what happened…"

And it was there. The lip biting. No matter what came after that, he knew it would just be a cover to what she truly desired- Him.

He doubted she knew about the whole lip-biting. It was something she'd been doing since the first time she woke up in his apartment, after she'd been drugged by some random guy at the party.

"It can't happen again", she finished, looking up at him with her armor back on.

House laughed lightly and breathed in, "Right. This is one of those times when you say no, but you really mean-"

"I'm serious. It was in the moment, and we were both nostalgic, and yes we have a history-"

"Oh come on. You're telling me you didn't want it? Ever? I'm pretty sure you were the eager one, that night in Anaheim-"

"That is exactly why nothing can happen between us."

He frowned, "Because your lust for my body is just too much? Wow- if that isn't an ego booster I don't know what-"

"Because nothing good can come of it! Nothing ever did!" She'd finally burst, and House could see her hands trembling, "You just…it just can't, ok?"

He rolled his eyes, "Don't you think you're being a little over dramatic? It was one night-"

Cuddy scoffed, "See? You have no regard for anything but yourself. People feel House. I feel- I felt. And you left me feeling used."

House tapped his cane incessantly, and licked his lip, "What did you think was going to happen? I was going to become this magical boyfriend who was going to buy you flowers and take you out to fancy romantic restaurants?"

"No. I don't know? But that boat sailed long ago, and last night was a mistake. We weren't ever meant to be anything else than what we are now", she finished.

xxxoxxxo

February 14th, 1988

She found them almost instantly after she entered the sorority house. It was like she had some type of magnetic pull in her eyes that could spot Greg anywhere when he was in the same room.

He was pinned up against a wall by Trish, with her obnoxiously long arms around his neck, pulling his face to hers so that their lips collided sloppily.

Lisa had a sense to simply walk up to them and pull them apart, even slap Trish once or twice for her backstabbing sister code behavior. Because her roommate knew very well of her immense crush on Gregory House, and found her wanton manners incredibly infuriating.

Instead, when she saw Trish whisper something into his ear and then grab his hand, guiding him upstairs, her envious filled chest deflated. Everyone, including herself knew what it meant when a couple walked upstairs and Greg had obviously made his decision.

And just like times before, Lisa found herself angry. Not at Greg and his girl of choice for that party, but at herself. She was upset at herself for foolishly believing that party would be any different and that she'd somehow make him finally see her.

Why couldn't he see her? And then she remembered all the times pushed him away, because she had. Lisa knew she had no one to blame but herself. But the question that stood was, why was she so afraid to let herself be taken by him? She wasn't innocent, she wasn't a virgin, she'd had boyfriends, she wasn't naive and she'd been rejected many times. So why was now so different?

It was all that and more that she was thinking of as she turned around to leave. But it was at the door that she stopped, and took a moment to breath. It was her birthday, it was valentines and just because all her romantic conquests with Greg seemed to be doomed, didn't mean she couldn't enjoy herself.

Before he entered her life, she would have been the life of the party- she would have been the one playing beer-pong or leading a boy upstairs- he had tamed her. And instead, Lisa found herself rightfully walking to the kitchen and pouring herself beer in a red solo cup.

After her first sip, she let the tenseness that had been at her chest, dissipate and forget about Greg. It was her birthday and she was determined to have fun. Which was why, when a cute guy smiled at her, she didn't hesitate to walk up to him and abruptly kiss him on the lips without a thought.

He kissed her back, and it felt wrong, no matter what she tried telling herself- but she wasn't going to let that stop her from attempting to forget about Greg. She was going to make it work.

Lisa could see the shell shock on his face when she pulled away, and felt a jolt of excitement run through her, that she hadn't felt in a long time. Finally, it felt like things were looking up- that was until she saw Trish out of the corner of her eye walking down the stairs really chummy with some other guy that wasn't Greg.

It wasn't the fact that Trish was obviously a slut that surprised her, it was that it hadn't even been five minutes and she was already back down with someone else- that part seemed odd.

Lisa didn't give much thought to the guy she'd just kissed, when she walked away and up to Trish, who was evidently surprised to see her, "Where's Greg?"

Trish rolled her eyes, "He was too wasted, and started puking- It was totally gross. So I ditched him for this hunk."

"You're such a bitch", she heard herself say.

"Yeah but I'm a good one."

There were too many errors with what her bimbo roommate had said, and instead Lisa just sighed and bolted up the stairs in search for Greg.

The first few attempts at finding him were dead ends, and with the music blasting loud enough to damage everyones eardrums, she couldn't listen out for the noise of retching, but when she finally made it to a bathroom with a guy kneeling over the toilet- she was able to breath a sigh of relief.

She closed the door to the madness behind her kneeled down on the floor next to him, placing her hand over his back, "You're an idiot."

Lisa waited to hear some sort of snide remark from him too, but when he didn't say anything back she frowned, and shook his back a little bit, "Greg?"

There was no response from him, and she pulled him off of the toilet to reveal that he was pale and his lips had lost all their color. Immediately, her heart began to race twice as fast and she shook him repeatedly, but he was unresponsive.

"Greg…Greg? Greg!"

In that moment, she frantically searched him with her eyes, fearing the worst and unable to move. It made no sense, and she realized it. She should have been half-way down the hall at that point, asking someone to call an ambulance, but instead she was stuck by his side as he slowly died and she wasn't sure why.

After a momentary freeze in her motor skills, Lisa shook him again, attempting to get any response at all. She slapped him and yelled, , but it wasn't until she hit his chest with the palm of her hand that she finally saw him give a sign of life.

Greg had very softly groaned and flickered his eyelids for a moment- but it was enough for her to be able to breathe a sigh of relief.

"I think you broke my ribs", he murmured through his now shallow breathing.

Lisa stifled a laugh, and didn't care at that moment that it would be weird if she wrapped her arms around his neck tightly, or that he smelled strongly of throw up, "You stopped breathing you idiot."

She felt him move one of his arms to touch her back, and she slowly moved back up, helping sit up in the process, even though he didn't seem to like the idea all that much. Slowly, she saw that the color was coming back to his painfully white skin, and he swallowed a couple times- apparently still a little nauseas.

History had taught her that asking him what he had taken or that he was being stupid, wouldn't get her anywhere with him- if anything, that approach would make it worse. Whatever it had been, she knew the answer to his partying would be to have fun.

And instead she simply patted his moist forehead, and moved some of his hair to the side with a sigh, "We should get you to the hospital."

Greg shook his head, "No. I'm fine."

She sighed, "Ok. Let's get you home then."

xxxoxxxo

Their walk from the cab to his upstairs loft apartment was difficult, and although there should have been no thoughts about the fact that she was holding on to him so close- Lisa couldn't help at get some satisfaction out of touching him so intimately.

The funny thing was that their was nothing sexual about where her or his hands were, it was just feeling him hold on to her with such force that sent her a kick of thrill.

There was a particular spot, where Greg tripped and giggled, somehow falling against the wall and pulling her into his chest. Lisa felt everything around her come to a halt, and focused on just the breathing between them.

Her eyes instinctively traveled up to him, up to his brighter shade of blue eyes, and could see a smile on his lips grow. Never mind the fact that he still radiated a strong scent of bile, he just looked wondrous. And there was a moment where she was pretty sure that she saw him inch his head closer down to her.

She swallowed, parting her lips just slightly awaiting the incoming of his lips crashing against hers. But instead what crashed was Greg's neighbors bike agains the railing of the stairs- startling both of them.

And just like that, the moment was over. Lisa looked away, too afraid to look back at him and what his facial expression would be. Instead, she pulled him back off the wall, and again began the walk to his door.

Once they were inside his apartment, and she'd closed the door behind her, she guided Greg to his couch, where he fell down like jello.

He closed his eyes, and she walked into his bathroom to grab his trash can, because the last thing she wanted to do was pick up more puke off the floor if he continued being sick.

After grabbing a fresh t-shirt out of his closet and a bottle of water from his fridge, she walked back and sat him up, as he eyed her irritably but cooperative while she took of his shirt.

It wasn't the first time that she'd seen him topless or even worse, but every time felt like she was seeing him for the first time, and her body reacted on its own. Lisa swallowed and she helped him place his other top on. Afterwards, he fell back down on to the couch and closed his eyes again.

"Do you need…something else?" she asked cluelessly shrugging her shoulders. Her eyes scanned his apartment and the disarray it was in. It wasn't too bad, actually compared to most guys she knew it was ok. Mainly there were piles of vinyl albums and different books just on the floor, taking up the bulk of the space.

"Brownies", he mumbled.

She frowned, "Did you just say brownies?"

He nodded, "They're inside the fridge, on a plate. I think they'll make me feel better."

"I doubt eating brownies will make-"

"Just bring them."

Lisa suppressed the desire to roll her eyes, and went to search for the brownies in his fridge, which ended up being easy as it was the only thing in there apart from a couple bottles of wine.

She grabbed the plate with plastic wrap over it and walked back to his living room, sitting on his coffee table directly in front of him, with the platter in hand.

"This is silly, I hope you know", Lisa smiled.

Greg shrugged as he took a brownie and bit into it, speaking with a full mouth, "Its the best remedy for wastedness."

She looked down at the platter full of cookies and sighed. Lisa knew better than to eat sweets at night, especially since she'd had a cupcake that morning for her birthday. But there was something appealing about the brownies and before she could change her mind, she bit into a piece as a wide cheshire cat smile grew on Greg's face.

After she swallowed the piece she'd gotten, she frowned at him, "What?"

"Its good, isn't it?"

"I guess they're all right. Not the best but not the worst", she shrugged grabbing another piece and biting into it.

When he didn't say anything back, Lisa frowned at him, "What? Do I have something on my face?"

He shook his head and averted his eyes around his apartment until he spotted something, and looked back with her with a curious smile, "Do you want to watch a movie?"

xxxoxxxo

When he'd suggested a movie, for some reason Lisa hadn't pictured him owning a horror movie like the shinning. And even though she'd watched it a dozen times before, she seemed to be jumpy at every scene- it was bizarre.

She'd somehow made it on to the couch next to Greg who had his head on her lap and was giggling at the two girls standing at the end of the corridor.

Lisa covered her eyes with her hands, so that only thing she could see were tiny lines of light coming from the screen.

He noticed, and chuckled attempting to pull her hands down, "Watch the movie, don't be a pussy."

"You're not the one that has to walk home alone", she murmured feeling her shoulders tense, but regardless, letting him pull both her hands down right when the scene where all the blood flooded the room.

Greg could see the horror on her face and smiled as he pretended to be annoyed, "If you want to be a doctor you'll have to get used to blood."

"Actually, I plan to be Dean of Medicine so really I'll be more of an administrator and won't have to get my hands dirty", after she'd said it, she frowned, "Why did I just say that?"

"Want another brownie?" he raised the plate offering it to her.

Lisa shook her head, "No. I think they're making me feel…funny. Wait- are those? Did you- did you drug me?"

He smiled widely, "You picked them up all on your own."

She stood up, holding her chest, "What did you put in them? Why does my heart feel so funny? Am I going to die?"

Greg sat up and laughed, "You would be the one person who gets anxiety from hash brownies. You need to loosen up Lisa."

None of what he said made her feel better and instead, she swallowed, "I think I'm going to wash my face."

She gingerly made her way to his bathroom, hoping not to hit anything and hoping that the overwhelming feeling of dread would leave her sooner than later. Her eyes stopped when they got to his sink though, because there was a small glass vile next to a needle. She bent down to pick it up and felt her heart banging against her chest, "What is this?"

Greg, who had been sitting on the couch and she could see through the reflection of the mirror realized what she'd just spotted and stood up- though uneasily, and walked over to snatch it out of her hands.

He paused and licked his lips, "Its not what you think it is."

"So its not a hypodermic needle?"

"Well, yes but I know what your thinking-"

She laughed, "So you're not shooting stuff into yourself?"

Greg rolled his eyes, "Well yes, but if you'll let me finish. What I was going to say is that, Its not what you think."

"Well what I'm thinking is that you're insane!-"

He interrupted her, "I'm part of a clinical trial and I'm testing a new delivery system to treat depression in patients who are bipolar."

Lisa blinked her eyes a couple times before speaking up again, "Are you bipolar? or depressed?"

"No. But they need a control group- obviously. Aren't you going to medical school?"

She read the label off of the tiny glass bottle, "This is probably what made you sick. Does it even make you feel less depressed?"

"I've never been depressed."

"So why even risk your health?" It was beyond her why he'd even put himself through that risk.

He grabbed the medicine out of her hands and walked away to put it up away in a high cupboard, "Just forget about that- it doesn't concern you."

Suddenly, a few memories rolled through her mind like a silent movie, of his behavior from the moment she'd met him, up until now and how it had changed drastically from one moment to the other- always taking her off guard. She looked up at him, "How long have you been doing the trial?"

"What part of it doesn't concern you, don't you get?"

"Why are you doing it?"

Greg shrugged, "Its lucrative and fun."

She stared at him in amazement, crossing her arms, "Fun is going to kill you."

"God Lisa, you're so predictable. Fun is fun, at least I'm not some shriveled up prude who doesn't do anything other than her homework", he muttered irritably.

She scoffed, "You're the one that's made me careful you ass. Someone needs to be the responsible one. If I don't watch over you, who will?"

"I never asked you to!" He bellowed.

They both got quiet for a moment, and Greg looked away- maybe realizing what he'd just said was a bit cruel. She wasn't sure, but when he looked back at her, his expression had softened.

He exhaled deeply, "You should leave."

Lisa blinked, "Are you kicking me out?"

He clenched his jaw and breathed evenly, "Call it what you want. I just don't see why you're here. I don't want you here."

She waited for a moment to see if it was a bluff, if maybe he didn't mean it after all. But as he stood there looking back at her unmoved, Lisa knew that maybe it would just be better if she left and let him cool down because she'd never seen him quite so shaken with her.

And even as she picked up her coat and purse, she couldn't help feeling like there was something she was missing from the puzzle, something else.

xxxoxxxo

March 12th, 1988

Dear Julia,

I got the birthday present you sent and sorry again for not responding to the last six letters you've sent me. Its just been so…busy lately I guess you could say.

Call me crazy, but I really thought the Less than Zero film would be different. Although Robert Downey Jr. did a great job, he's not the julian from the book. I kind of feel like I'm in Clay's shoes right now, and Greg is Julian- although that's a a completely different story. No nothing's happened other than him still being upset at me. He sits all the way in the front of our endocrinology class, can you believe that? If that isn't a dead giveaway that he's mad at me, I don't know what is.

On a lighter note Atticus and I are finally mending our friendship back together. I've even hung out with Trevor a few times and he seems pretty cool too. Though you'd never be able to tell he's gay, he's such a jock! But then again, I suppose I shouldn't be stereotyping people, should I? They've invited me to go to Disneyland this summer after the semester is over, want to come with? Let me know.

I hope things are better for you and mom. Has Rosemary finally been able to get pregnant? I'm tired of focusing on my dramatic anti-love life. I want to focus on everyone else now.

Love,

Your sis Lisa

March 15th, 1988

The first thing Lisa noticed as she walked into her endocrinology class five minutes late- as usual, was that Greg was back in his usual spot.

He didn't turn to look at her, instead focused on what their professor was talking about- something to do with proteins, Lisa wasn't really sure, but it was enough to make her smile.

She sat down and couldn't help at smirk at him, "Does this mean you're not mad at me anymore?"

"There weren't any other seats available", he muttered emotionless.

She looked at the five rows in front of them that were usually empty and back at him, "Yeah, totally- I mean its just so packed in here."

He let out a little breath and turned to her to reveal his pink nose and watery eyes, "Can you shut up? I'm trying to listen."

She turned Greg's face back to her- who was also coughing,"Are you sick?"

He let out a tiny sigh, not wanting to make eye contact with her and push her hands away- turning back to the front, "No."

It made her a little nervous, because she knew he was lying. It was obvious that something had changed in the four weeks she hadn't seen him. He'd lost weight, and it was strange because he'd never worn a pullover hoodie to class before and looked so disheveled as he did now.

Though Lisa had the nagging suspicion he wore it to elude from how sick he was. And as much as she was trying not to care, she couldn't help herself from turning his stunned face and feeling his burning forehead.

"Hey! what the-"

She sighed at him, and whispered, "Greg you're burning up. You shouldn't be in class."

He swatted her nurturing hands away and moved his body away from her in his seat, "We have an exam next week. So it would be kind of nice to know what its about, don't you think?"

It annoyed her, but she knew he had a point, and for the rest of their class she sat next to him unable to focus on what Davis was saying, and solely worrying about him instead. About how long he had been sick, had it been intentional? had he brought it on himself? And she truly hated that she couldn't shake the need to make him better- whatever the reason was.

"You need to be in bed- resting", she said after Davis had dismissed the class and everyone began to get up and leave.

In a surprising turn of events, he actually followed her out of the class, and for a moment she thought things might be back to normal- that was until she turned to look at him.

"You're not my mother", was all he said as he started walking away.

It wasn't good enough, and she didn't care if he was still upset- she deserved more than his cold shoulder, "You can't push me away simply because I care about my friend."

Someone called his name and he began to quicken his pace, and only looked back at her with a confused expression before completely walking away, "Who ever said we were friends?"