Chapter 10

Ste's POV

Ok… I'm a bad person.

I spent all afternoon yesterday having the most mind blowing sex of my life with Brendan, the man I used to love, the man I still might love, I'm istill so confused about that…. Maybe that's how I have found myself here, in my bed, with Noah snoring away on my left.

When I left Bren's yesterday I was on top of the world then reality gradually started to hit me. Bren might have seemed different, caring, loving even but he hadn't actually said anything. Maybe it was still just sex to him, I was nothing more than a way for him to get his physical gratification.

'see you tomorrow yeah?' that's what he'd said. I must have replayed that moment in my mind about a hundred times, trying to work out if there was some hidden message, some code for me to work out, something to give me hope. All I could come up with I was due in for my shift at 10.30am to set up the club, nothing more.

Then as I got home with the kids I saw him there, Noah, my boyfriend and I panicked.

I mumbled hi, looked down and ushered the kids into the front room to play. I motioned for Noah to follow me into the kitchen and I was about to tell him it was over. Honest, I was!

He handed me the flowers and I have to say I was a bit confused as to why he had got me them but then he started talking about how sorry he was and how he had messed up and how he would do anything to take back what he had done and said.

Maybe it was the guilt,. Guilt of what I had done that made me do it. Whilst he was upset and trying to put things right with our relationship, I'd been fucking my ex, I felt like a right shit. I found myself telling him it was ok and not to worry about it, it was forgotten. Again, I tried to find the words to tell him that we were over, again it didn't happen.

Noah took my hand and started to tell me how he thought he was falling in love with me, how he had never felt like this so soon, how he thought I was special and he was always thinking about me. And how good we were together, how right it felt.

It was everything I wanted to hear and more. Granted I had wanted to hear it from someone else, but hearing someone pour their heart out like that to you makes you feel something back. That's what I told myself anyway because I started thinking Noah was right, we were good together, we got on, there was no fear or trepidation with him, he was open and honest about himself and about our relationship surely that was what was best for me. Best all round.

Me and Noah, we made sense, ok so there wasn't the same passion there, not like there was with Brendan. But Passion can only get you so far, you can't build anything long term on passion, especially when it was always behind closed doors or up against them…..

My resolve started to waver again at this point, my head was pushing me to Noah but my heart was screaming for Brendan.

'Daddy, Daddy, Daddy' Leah was pulling at my jeans and looking up at me wanting attention. I had been so wrapped up in my thoughts I hadn't even seen her come into the kitchen. I smiled down and asked her what was up. She walked over to Noah, wrapped her arm round her leg and swayed to the side before saying

'can Noah stay for tea, I want him to play princesses with me' I couldn't help but grin at her and the thought of Noah having to suffer Leah's latest game.

'Looks like your in luck Leah, Noah has bought us all this yummy food so he wont be going anywhere' I said, smiling at Noah before giving his hand a little squeeze.

Decision made - this was what I wanted. My family, my home, my boyfriend, out there and open and happy.

I crawl out of bed to go and make some coffee. Ok I made a mistake, I shouldn't have cheated, but I wasn't thinking straight, it was unfinished business that's all. It's over and it's and me and Noah, together, from now on.

As I'm making the coffee Noah slips into the kitchen without me noticing and wraps his arms around me from behind and whispers 'time for a quickie?' and I find myself being pulled back to the bedroom. I was too tired last night so we just chatted and fooled around a little but well I guess I need to prove to myself that I have made my decision or something because I find myself pushing Noah onto the bed before locking the bedroom door behind us.

I get to work early but there is no sign of Brendan and I'm glad, I start wiping down the tables, setting out chairs whilst chatting with Rhys, he is playing some music and trying to educate me on what's 'cool' these days. I'm not much for music me, I mean I like it and all, I just don't really buy it, I guess having two kids changes what you spend your money on. He's rambling away and im pretending like I get what he is on about when suddenly the office door flies open and Brendan is stood there.

'Rhys what the fuck is this shit your playing now?' he asks not acknowledging my existence

I stop and stare at him. He looks so fucking hot and my head is filled with the thoughts of our afternoon together.

'Ummm it's Two Door Cinema Club they are a ummm a ….' he started to mumble, ha! maybe he wasn't so clued up on how cool they were after all.

Brendan stood, tilted his head to the side a little and listened before turning to me and repeating the words

'To the basement people, to the basementMany surprises await youIn the basement people, in the basement'

'Hear that Stephen, it's your luck day, we've got a delivery coming this afternoon so you get to go down to the basement and get it ready and if your lucky a surprise will await you.'

He turned to face Rhys before saying 'I'm off out for a couple of hours, try not to trash the place and turn this shit off, it's a club not one of your dodgy music festivals'

He turned and walked straight out the club. Leaving me to sigh with relief, looks like we were both going to act like yesterday didn't happen, best all round I think, whilst ignoring the tug or sorrow coming from my heart.

I head down to the cellar and started shifting crates, making space for today's delivery. I've been down here about 20 mins and I'm getting pretty hot and sweaty when I suddenly feel a presence behind me. For a second I tense up not knowing who it is until they lean in and inhale my neck at the same time I inhale their musky sent.

Hands reach around my waist pulling me back slightly so we are lined up flush against each other and I feel his hot breath next to my ear before he speaks, igniting pure lust in every part of my body.

'You ready for that surprise now Stephen?' he whispers seductively and I want to take a second to calm myself, I want to step away from him, to stop the inevitable from happening, but I can't. I turn to face him and almost instantly we are kissing, hands exploring everywhere, he breaks our kiss and I am completely breathless, panting away, he on the other hand has rolled my t shirt up and has start kissing and sucking my nipple and I can't help but groan with pleasure.

Then I feel this strange buzzing in my thigh, we are so close together Bren feels it too, stops what he is doing and steps back slightly, I think we both must look a little confused for a second before I pull my phone out of my pocket and see the words 'Noah calling'

I just stare at it. Thinking of what I was about to do behind his back. Again. Then I glance at Bren who for a fraction of a second looks a little uncertain of himself before he takes control of the situation and pushes me gently back against the wall before looking me dead in the eyes and telling me to answer it.

He is using that tone that I know not to question, so I don't. I answer the call.

'Hey Noah, hows things?' I say lightly trying to just come across as friendly not boyfriendly.

Noah starts chatting away about some awful customer and Bren's eyes are still on me, focused intently. I'm about to silently apologise to him when his hands move to my buckle and before I can get my head round what is going on my trousers and boxers are around my ankles and Bren is on his knees licking me up and down, I'm so surprised I cry out.

'Ste? You ok?' Noah asks and somehow I find it in me to lie

'yeah I just stubbed my toe' I said looking down at Bren who has decided now is the time to give me what feels like the most amazing blow job of my life.

'So I was thinking tonight we could maybe get a film and have a night in, you know just the two of us yeah?' he says suggestively

' Umm yeah….I …ahh.. Great. That ahhh would be great' I say trying hard to control my voice but god the things Bren is doing to me is making it virtually impossible.

'You ok Ste, you sound a bit funny?

'Yeahh I'm ahh I'm just lifting crates, I'll ahhh call you back. See you later' I manage to end the call before I come. It's like an explosion of feelings inside me, I know I should feel ashamed, I don't. I know its wrong but I feel completely turned on from getting away with it, I'm sure the guilt will kick in later, but right now, I'm just in awe of the man at my feet.

I finally look back at Brendan and I can see he is feeling pretty pleased with himself. He gets up and kisses me passionately and I throw everything in to it. We break away and he puts his hands on my face and stares into my eyes for a few seconds before moving away. I think he is about to walk away again without saying anything but he turns back to me grinning like the cat that got the cream.

'I got some business to take care off, text me what you and Rhys want from Relish, lunch is on me, I'll be back in an hour or so' and with that he leaves.

I sort out my clothes and sit on one of the crates. Maybe I didn't have to choose between a relationship and passion, maybe I could have both. Just not with the same people….