Chapter 10

As Merle and Mira drag Daryl further into crime, will they be caught one day? I mean, why doesn't Merle just find somewhere to settle down where they can pick up casual work? Or why don't they go home where they live in a house that's been bought and paid for ? Although, probably neither of them can live with the bad memories there.

Apparently nobody has filed a missing person's report on Daddy Dixon, nobody's noticed or maybe they just don't care. But has nobody noticed that Daryl is missing from school? Granted, he's missed school before so maybe they're used to it. It's the 1980's and instant communication and forsenics aren't what they are today. Moreover, people where Daryl and Merle are from don't volunteer information easily to the police. They keep each other's secrets basically.

Mira's feelings are growing for Daryl but does he feel the same? What's her story anyway and why does she have scars too all over her body?

i.

Mira

Merle glanced over at me after he released his brother. Daryl went straight to the bathroom.

'Now, girl. We need more money if ya want to stick with us. I'm pretty sure that you don't want to be sharing with us. How long ya been homeless, if ya don't mind me askin'?'

'Two years.' I didn't say that I'd got used to a lot worse living conditions. That having my own bed and a hot shower was like paradise to me in comparison, even if I had to share with two guys.

'What did ya do for money, Trina?'

'Well, I didn't do that.' I knew what he was thinking. He raised his eyebrows in surprise. 'Sometimes I stole it from stores. Sometimes I earned it.' I pushed down the familiar feeling of shame that came over me.

'How many times did ya shoplift?' He narrowed his eyes, kept on interrogating me.

I shrugged my shoulders. 'Loads of times.'

'Ever get caught?'

'Been close a few times.' I admitted and he shot me a sharp look. 'But no, never.'

'How do ya do it?'

'Worked in a gang ...with my … b...boyfriend.' I stammered on the last word, the grief was still raw. But he didn't notice or he was pretending not to, I didn't know which. Anyway, I didn't want to have to explain. Didn't want to talk about Ryan.

He raised his eyebrows but didn't pry.

We planned together about hitting the next store – the smaller ones didn't have cameras. We'd just finalised our plan when I heard the toilet flush and the sound of running water because Daryl always left the tap running while he went. He was shy. Shortly after this, he came out of the bathroom, tousling his hair with a towel but fully dressed otherwise. It was difficult sharing the family sized room because we weren't a family – didn't know each other that well.

More time had passed than I thought.

He looked so cute! I tried to surpress my feelings, after all I hadn't lost Ryan more than a few weeks ago.

'What?' He looked between us questioningly.

'Just plannin' our next move, bro.' Merle answered him.

'Now, if ya don't mind, ' He looked at me and I shrugged, 'I think it's my turn to use the bathroom.' He took his clothes with him.

'What you guys talking about?' Daryl's eyes bored mercilessly into mine as soon as Merle left.

'How to get more money.'

Daryl didn't answer me but snorted then bellowed at his brother in the bathroom. The shower hadn't started running yet. 'Ya ain't plannin' on robbin' no one else, are ya Merle?'

His brother didn't answer.

'Ya better not be!' He yelled towards the shower, answering his own question. 'How about we all go and find jobs like normal people?'

Merle's guffaw was muffled by the sound of water starting to run but we still heard it and I sensed Dary was about to unleash his fury on him. He was obviously still upset about this Andrea.

I tried to distract him. After all, this was like the first time he'd spoken to me properly since we met.

'So...how come, you and your brother are so close?'

He turned to glare at me and despite myself, I drew back. Tried to backpaddle.

'I mean, he obviously loves ya.' I was thinking about how affectionate Merle was with him, not to mention the way he was with him last night when he had a nightmare.

'Who says we're close?' He clenched his fists and I kicked myself for always saying the wrong thing.

So I decided to stop digging myself a hole and shut up.

A few awkward moments passed. I tried to fix things between us.

'I mean – I didn't get on with my older brother, he was kind of a dick.' I offered in the way of explanation.

'Oh.' He stared at the floor.

'But I still miss him.' I added.

Another few awkward moments passed with neither of us saying anything. Until he smirked at me before he said loudly, 'Well, Merle is kind of a dick too, in case you hadn't noticed.' He grinned at the outraged noises his older brother made from the shower. 'I heard that! Ya better hide now, baby brother 'cos I'm gonna kill ya when I come out!' He yelled.

Daryl didn't seem to care, chuckled instead. I followed suit and this seemed to relieve some of the tension in the room.

Merle stormed out after about 10 minutes, fully clothed probably because I was there. Grabbed his younger brother and wrestled him to the bed. Tickled his stomach and ruffled his hair until he begged for mercy. 'Ya better show me some respect, little Darlena!' He teased before he let him go.

ii.

Mira

We were driving along, checking out the local stores on the high street. We made sure to choose a chain – we didn't want to steal from actual people.

So we told ourselves, like I'd always told myself, in fact. To justify stealing. But we were running out of cash – only enough for another two nights, not including food, drink and smokes.

Daryl had his arms crossed, was scowling and slumping low in his seat. 'Merle.' He tried. 'I don't fuckin' wanna do this...'

'You'd rather go hungry or sleep on the streets, Daryl?'

'No... but...'

'Well, shut the fuck up, then.' His brother cut him off.

'I still don't agree with it...'

But we'd reached our destination, the store that was a chain but small enough probably not to have a camera. This was the early 1980's after all and not everybody could afford such high technology.

'Now, Trina, ya know what ya gotta do.' Merle turned to me.

'Sure. Done it loads of times.' Daryl turned to stare at me in surprise and I felt a little uncomfortable under his scrutiny. Under his judgement.

'And you too, Daryl.'

'Yeah!' He snarled grumpily and tuned his face away.

'Good, then. We all set?'

'Yes.' We answered at the same time, turning around to look at one another in surprise.

'Good. 'Cos last thing we want is to get caught by the cops, right?'

We nodded.

iii.

Daryl

I didn't want to go along with their plan, I mean why couldn't we settle down somewhere and find honest work? I mean I'd left school without graduating but that didn't matter. I could still do work – stuff like barwork or farmwork.

Why did we have to steal?

Mira

I followed them in, preparing myself for when we got in there. I was right, as I surreptitiously checked the ceiling and walls, place was too small and too poor to afford a video camera. Only two assistants on duty, maybe one manager in the back but probably not.

I hoped.

I wandered along the aisles, pretended to be fascinated by the canned vegetables selection. Even picked up one or two cans like I was weighing them in my hands, comparing them. I felt the assistants eyes on me – it was 11pm one a weekday night in a small place and luckily there weren't any other customers.

At least I didn't look and smell like a homeless bum any more and it looked like I had chosen right and we were in luck.

Merle trailed behind me while Daryl moved closer to the cash tills. Just like I'd told them to do.

I picked up some jars of tomato pasta sauce, showed Merle the labels when I suddenly swooned.

My limbs jerked as I fell to the floor and the whites rolled up in my eyes.

The older Dixon caught me and lowered me to the floor while the two assistants ran over. They were both men. Good old protective male instinct - worked most times I thought slyly to myself as my body apparently fitted. Merle cradled my head and yelled 'She's diabetic! Get us some help!'

'I think there's a first aid kit in the staff rest area.' The older man with grey hair and a slim build volunteered.

'I'll go and call an ambulance.' The younger brown-haired man in his twenties offered.

I continued to be oblivious to it all as my body jerked.

Daryl

I made my way casually around to the cash tills when she gave me the signal. Before she started faking a diabetic fit and the cashier who was on duty rushed over to help her. Took a deep breath thinking how much I hated doing this. Good. They were the old-fashioned type – no staff code needed, I thought as I dipped my hands into them. Concentrating on picking the 50 dollar bills, the 20's and 10's, leaving the rest, then making my way as quickly as I could out of the shop. To wait for them in our getaway car parked unconspicuously down an alleyway. Ready to go as soon as they showed up.

I opened the car and slipped into the front seat. Cradling the bag of cash I'd stolen.

Feeling like a shit the whole time.

Mira

The younger shop assistant checked me over. 'Wait, I have first aid training – I should check her pulse.'

Merle played along, nodded but then he didn't know.

The guy rolled up my long sleeves with theirGothic looking lace frills that covered my wrists, to my elbows before I could stop him and I heard him gasp. All my clothes had long sleeves and covered my legs – even in summer. However, I didn't hear or sense Merle react.

Then I felt him feel my pulse before I chose this moment to 'recover'. Guessing that Daryl had enough time to grab the money and get out of there. Luckily, still no sign of the manager or the other assistant who'd gone out back to find a first aid kit.

My eyes fluttered open as I languidly moved my limbs. Tried to weakly get up and lean back on my elbows. Merle waved the other man and helped me to my feet. I found myself leaning on him as I swayed in his arms.

'Thanks but it's not so bad as we thought.' He explained as he roughly started to drag me out. Just then the older man came out with the first aid kit. They didn't question how I could recover from a diabetic coma – to my understanding, once that happened to you, you could only recover with hospital treatment. Their medical naivete came in handy for our deception.

'I'll take her now. She needs sugar and we got some in the car...'

They looked after us bemused as we left the store. No sign of Daryl – I saw Merle checking for him.

'Good boy.' I heard him mumble under his breath.

We whooped and punched the air when we reached the car and Daryl waved the full to bursting with money wallet at us from the driver's side. Merle had looked inside, checking his brother was in there, safe and sound. We high-fived each other, all the time expecting to hear cop sirens or the shop workers come running after us, screaming accusations.

'Get in!' Merle ordered looking around after we'd calmed down from our triumph.

'Go!' He ordered Daryl to drive.

Back at the motel, we celebrated but Daryl didn't look happy. He almost killed the mood. Was scowling in fact. 'I don't want to steal no more, Merle. What if we get caught...especially after what we done?' Panic was growing in his voice and Merle shot him a hard glance in reply without answering. Warning him not to reveal some closely-guarded secret.

I pushed my curiousity aside as we drank and smoked, ate chips and fast food until we felt like we were going to burst.

All in all, we had made over 800 dollars.

Daryl was the first to fall asleep and Merle pinned me down with his eyes across his brother's body while I fidgeted uncomfortably under his penetrating stare.

'What's ya story, girl? Why ya run away?' He didn't mention the scars he must have seen all over my wrists and forearms but he stared at my sleeves.

'Sorry, don't want to sound rude but like I told ya before, ain't none of ya business.'

Merle shrugged instead of getting angry like I expected. As a peculiar feeling of deja vu washed over me. We'd shoplifted together, travelled hundreds of miles across state borders together but still I knew next to nothing about the Dixons and they me. Only that something bad had happened to Daryl and that they were running away from something big and dark.

'I saw ya arms, girl. Someone do that to ya, honey?' He was caressing me with his syrupy voice but I resisted opening up. Shrugged like I didn't care even though my heart was racing. 'Don't want to talk about it.'

'Fair enough. But I bet there's loads more marks on the rest of you, huh, sweetie? Is that why ya ran away from home?'

'Fuck off.' I grew defensive when anyone talked about my scars and because he'd almost hit the bull's eye when it came to the truth. Almost yet far too close. Yes, he was right, my whole body was covered with them.

He ignored this. 'Let me show ya somethin'. Guess ya heard him last night, huh though I knew ya were pretendin' to be asleep.' I nodded, no point denying it.

We were whispering but even so, I grew alarmed. What if Daryl woke up and found us

talking about him? I knew how proud he was and how he guarded his privacy.

Merle lifted up Daryl's T-shirt gently so as not to wake him up. I needn't have worried, he didn't even stir.

Now it was my turn to gasp. Hardly a bare inch of Daryl's back wasn't covered by scars – raised pinkish and white damaged skin tissue, thinner marks crossing each other at the top of his back. Other, round marks marred his skin in other places.

'See? Our fuckin' Daddy did that to him.' Merle whispered as he gently tugged down his brother's T-shirt. Then he soothed back his little brother's hair comfortingly. Daryl did move then – instinctively closer to his brother then but still didn't open his eyes.

'How?' I whispered.

'With his fuckin' belt mostly, amongst other things.'

I shuddered – couldn't help it as I turned away. Didn't want to tell him the truth about my scars all over my body as I secretly fingered the handle of my knife to reassure me.

He'd be disgusted, I knew.

'He's sleepin' peacefully now.' Merle sighed and added. Then his voice grew hard suddenly. 'Ya better not hurt him. 'Cos girl or not, I'll kick ya ass.'

I looked at him in bewilderment, not understanding him.

'What? I don't know what ya think is goin' on between me and him, he doesn't even like me. 'Sides, I'm sure Daryl can take care of himself.'

Merle sniggered knowingly and I wanted to wipe that smug look right off his face because he thought he knew everything about me and his brother.

'I mean – who says I'm gonna keep on hanging around with you guys anyway? Who says I'm not gonna jus' take my share of the cash and ditch you tomorrow?'

He still smirked in that infuriatingly smug way of his. Like he knew I wouldn't.

And he was right.

iv.

Mira

No matter how much I hated to admit it because I was still with them three days later. We kept moving from place to place, motel to motel, this time getting separate rooms – one for me and one for the brothers. Gradually over time, Daryl started to warm to me and stopped snapping at his brother although I could tell that he hated what we were doing. Kept asking Merle when would we have enough money, where were we going next?

We were going to hit our third store and I took a chance. Merle was driving, staring ahead and I knew that he wasn't paying attention. We were sitting both on opposite sides of the backseat with a space between us when I reached out to touch Daryl's hand. It felt like a bolt of electricity sprung from it as he let me curl my fingers around his.

Daryl

'Ya nothin. Only good for this. All I need ya for is ya sweet, little mouth and ya tight little asshole. Maybe I should cut ya's off – not like ya need it...maybe I will …'

I tired to shake Dad's voice out of my head and in my confusion, I drew my hand sharply away from hers and she looked a little hurt.

'Sorry.' I muttered, not daring to look at her. 'Jus' don't like bein' touched much, is all.'

'That's OK. I only meant it as friends.'

Mira

'Friends?' He looked at me with such shy, sweet hope in his eyes that I forgot my hurt and instead, felt myself falling deeper and deeper for him.

Did he feel the same way?