Chapter Ten: Flash of the Blade
It was early evening, just after Bobby and I had finished eating when Sam and I knew that Lucifer had been freed.
To give ourselves something to do Sam and I were doing the dishes while Bobby sat at the table, drinking a beer.
It was black as pitch outside, a storm roared on; lightning flashed every couple of minutes, illuminating the junk yard to make a stark vision of twisted metal.
The ceiling light in the kitchen glared coldly, causing colours to be more severe, brighter.
I was washing the dishes at a leisurely pace, lost in thought when it seemed I was jolted by an electric current, as though I had been struck by lightning. That's the best way I can describe it I think, yes, like being hit by lightning.
At the same time I felt the jolt, Sam let out a sound between a gasp and a yelp of pain and the plate he had been holding slipped from his fingers and smashed on the linoleum floor.
Sam doubled over in apparent pain. He curled into a ball, crying out in agony. I didn't know what to do so I grabbed a hold of my brother and hauled him into a sitting position on one of the kitchen chairs.
Sam lifted his head and looked at me; his eyes were glazed with pain.
"He's free Dean," Sam muttered, "Raphael succeeded."
"Shit," I swore. I knew this was coming but now that it was here I felt lost.
"Bobby, look after Sam, I'm calling Cas," I said and hurried from the kitchen.
In sock and feet I stepped out onto the front porch and walked deeper into the junk yard.
I splashed through puddles of icy water, slipped over stones and pebbles wet with rain, ignored sharp pains as I stepped on scrap pieces of metal.
In seconds I was soaked through with cold water, my hair plastered to my head and my clothes clinging to me like a second skin.
Thunder rumbled menacingly and lightning flashed to illuminate the skeletal cars stacked high around me.
I came to a stop in a pool of mud four feet wide and ankle deep.
"Cas!" I shouted.
Lightning flashed as if in answer.
"Where are you?"
A fork of lightning hit the ground somewhere nearby and I could smell the burnt ozone.
Maybe he can't hear me in this storm, I thought.
"Earth to Castiel! We have a problem!" I shouted at the top of my voice.
Someone tapped my shoulder and I jumped. I turned and saw Cas.
The angel did not look happy, but I guess that was to be expected.
I motioned for him to follow me and walked back to the house.
I slammed the door closed once we were inside. Bobby came over and handed me a towel so I could dry myself off a bit.
Sam had managed to move to the living room and was sitting on the blue chair with Abdiel close by.
I was a little surprised to see the British angel.
Cas marched up to Sam, "we must retrieve the Seraph Blade immediately."
The angel apparently didn't care that Sam was still shaken by the fact that Lucifer had just been freed from his prison.
Abdiel stepped forward and placed a restraining hand on Cas's arm.
"Give him a few minutes, mate."
Cas looked annoyed that Abdiel was interfering.
"Do you think Lucifer and Raphael are going to wait for us?" Cas snapped.
"Give him a half hour," Abdiel said, "that's all I'm asking."
Cas looked frustrated but agreed, "thirty minutes, no more and then we must find the Seraph Blade."
Cas vanished and Abdiel looked at me.
"You alright there, Dean? You look like a drowned rat," the British angel said and lit a cigarette.
"I'm fine," I said and went over to Sam.
Sam was in obvious distress. I placed a palm on his forehead and felt that he was very warm.
"What happened?" I asked.
Sam stared up at me with a slightly confused expression.
"It felt as though someone shoved a rusty ice pick into my head," Sam said, "it was just so sudden… and then I felt…dislocated."
I nodded. I didn't really understand what that meant but I knew it must have something to do with Sam's weird connection to Lucifer.
"Can you…can you sense him or whatever?" I asked tentatively.
Sam concentrated for a second and then shook his head, "I don't know where…how does that even work?"
Abdiel blew out a stream of smoke, "I don't know. I'm not sure if it's happening because you're Lucifer's vessel or if it has to do with you being in Hell."
"But you're an angel? Shouldn't you know these things?" Bobby asked.
"I don't have all the answers, mate" Abdiel replied.
After twenty minutes and three glasses of water, Sam had calmed down.
"Why does it have to be Cas?" Sam asked Abdiel.
"Cas wants to," Abdiel said.
"Why?" I asked, "You're the one with the connection to Sam."
Abdiel shrugged, "I don't know Dean, but I wouldn't argue with Cas- he's not in a good mood."
None of us were in a good mood but I felt nervous about letting Cas drag Sam all over God's green earth to look for the Seraph Blade. Cas was acting very shady and it was creeping me out.
"You don't think he's playing on Lucifer's team, do you?" I had to ask.
"Wot? Castiel? Dean, he'd rather rip out his Grace then work for Lucifer and Raphael," Abdiel said.
The British angel turned his bird of prey gaze on me, "I think he's just forgotten what it's like to be human or almost so. He's been spending a lot of time in Heaven, having to deal with the war and all that. No, I think he's on our side, or at least on the side of God and the faithful angels."
I nodded. I was more willing to trust Abdiel, who had always been there for Sam and so far had done nothing to jeopardize my trust in him, despite his past actions.
The half an hour had passed way too quickly when Cas appeared again. Sam stood, ready for what he had to do. I only hoped that he'd find the thing quickly.
Sam walked over to Cas and the angel took his arm and they disappeared.
Abdiel checked a gold pocket watch that he took from the breast pocket of his greatcoat.
"If you two don't mind, I'd like to make sure our little army is ready," the British angel said.
"Wait, what army?" I asked.
"Raphael is not going to just sit back and sip martinis while you and Sam go out to kill the Devil," Abdiel said, "Cas and I will need to distract him while Sam does what he needs to do."
"Oh okay," I said dumbly. I had completely forgotten about the fact that Abdiel was gathering reinforcements just in case Raphael decided to show up and crash the party. I felt a pang when I realized that Abdiel would not be with us when we went to kill Lucifer- I would have felt somewhat confident if I had known the British angel would be by our side- I'm sure it would have made Sam feel better as well.
Abdiel nodded and vanished.
"I'll make some coffee," Bobby said and busied himself in the kitchen.
I paced around the living room, first empty-handed and then with a mug of coffee cooling in my clenched fist.
Rebel came out and asked for attention so I spent ten minutes petting his glossy, black coat.
"Do you think Sam's okay?" I asked Bobby. I was sure that Cas could take care of himself but I wasn't so sure about my brother.
"He'll be fine Dean," Bobby assured me and poured some whiskey into my coffee.
I drifted to sleep a few times but I always woke with a start, disappointed and worried that Sam and Cas were not back yet.
The thirty-first dawned watery beige with a weak sun trying to shine through the cloud cover.
Bobby made eggs and bacon for breakfast but I didn't eat much. I was really starting to worry.
"Cas never takes this long to find something," I said as I sipped some more coffee.
"Well, it's not really Cas, its Sam who can find the Blade so maybe he is not sure where it is," Bobby said.
"Or maybe it's just some wild goose chase and the thing doesn't even exist," I said.
After breakfast I paced around the living room and drank some more coffee.
I had just sat down at Bobby's desk when Sam and Cas appeared out of thin air.
Sam staggered a little and looked exhausted but he stayed on his feet. Cas had a frustrated expression on his face.
I stood and Sam held up Lucifer's Seraph Blade. It looked like any other angel weapon I had seen before.
Sam dropped the Blade down on the desk as though it was a viper and wiped his hands on his pants.
Bobby leaned against the kitchen doorway.
I peered curiously at the weapon, "that's Lucifer's Seraph Blade?"
"Don't underestimate its unremarkable appearance Dean," Cas said in a harsh voice.
"What took you so long?" I asked Sam but Cas answered.
"Your brother could not accurately locate the Seraph Blade for some time and so we were led into dead ends," the angel spoke as if it was Sam's fault.
"Where was it?" I asked.
Sam answered this time, "Port Arthur, Tasmania."
"Well, what do we do now?" I wondered aloud.
"If Sam knew where Lucifer was we could kill him," Cas said and just about glared at Sam.
"You don't know where he is?" I asked.
Sam shook his head, "it's all really vague still."
I nodded, "so now we wait."
This wait was definitely not fun. Cas stuck around and kept asking Sam every couple of minutes if he knew where Lucifer was.
"Okay Cas, I have had it up to here with this shit. I don't care if you've been spending most of your time Upstairs: have an ounce of sympathy! Sam is going to die, in case you've forgotten, so shut up about it!" I had eventually snapped, "when Sam knows where the Devil is he'll tell you!"
Cas managed to look appropriately chastised and mumbled an apology.
The angel sat at the desk, keeping an eye on the Seraph Blade as though the thing might grow legs and wander back to Lucifer if no one was watching it.
Sam and I laid out our rudimentary plans.
My brother did not like the idea of me coming along but there was no way out of it: someone needed to hold onto the Seraph Blade until Sam was ready.
"Don't get in between us Dean," Sam warned, "no matter what he might say or do. I don't want you to get hurt."
"You won't even know I'm there," I said seriously. I knew I had to let Sam do what he needed to do, that I couldn't run in like the cavalry because I would only get myself killed.
So pretty much I just had to sit back and enjoy the show until Sam said 'yes.'
"What happens if, you know, you can't do it?" I asked.
"Then I guess you have to kill him," Sam said. We still were not sure if anyone else wielding the Seraph Blade could kill Lucifer or if it could only be Sam…but there wasn't any time nor volunteers to test out the theory so we had to hope that if Sam couldn't do it then I could.
Sam's sense of Lucifer grew with each passing hour and Cas wanted to get the job over with but Sam refused.
"I want to do this right the first time. I can't call for a do-over if something goes wrong" Sam said much to the angel's annoyance.
"I want to know what state he's in, what county, what city, what street before we go searching for him," my brother continued.
"I don't want any unpleasant surprises Cas," Sam ended the conversation.
It was now Halloween night and I wished I was in Cicero instead of waiting for the end. I was supposed to take Ben out 'Trick or Treating' this year not sitting in Bobby's kitchen drinking beers with my brother whose days were numbered, a moody angel and a grumpy old hunter.
"How's Lisa doing?" Sam asked.
Ben had called earlier in the week to give me a summary of his mom's condition.
"Ben says she's kind of depressed right now; she starts crying at almost everything," I said. At least Lisa wasn't angry all the time now but just in case I decided not to talk to her when Ben offered.
"Do you know what the baby is?" Bobby asked.
"A boy," I smiled. Lisa had finally told me. She wanted to wait for a while before knowing the child's gender.
"That's awesome Dean!" Sam said and smiled, happy for me.
"If I had any cigars I'd offer you one," Bobby said.
After that the conversation died away and we sat in silence.
"Do you think Raphael let Michael out as well?" Sam asked suddenly.
"So what if he did? Michael and Lucifer are not going to get the chance to go at it," I said.
I wasn't sure if Raphael would let his brother out so I leaned back in my chair until I could see the living room and the desk where Cas sat.
"Hey, Cas? Do you know if Michael's out of the Box as well?"
The angel looked surprised I would ask.
"I doubt it Dean. Raphael and Michael butted heads almost as often as Michael did with Lucifer. Besides, Michael wants to kill Lucifer and Raphael wants a business partner, so no, I do not believe Michael was set free from the Cage," Cas answered.
I looked back at Sam and Bobby, "well, that's one less angel to deal with at least."
"Poor Adam," Sam muttered.
The last day of October passed quietly into November.
On the second day of November I woke from an exhausted sleep to find Sam at the kitchen table drinking coffee.
"Feeling better?" I asked my brother as I poured myself some coffee.
"I know where Lucifer is," Sam whispered.
"Did you tell Cas yet?" I sat down.
Sam shook his head, "I wanted you to know before he did."
"So, where is Lucifer?" I asked and took a sip of coffee.
"Nome, Alaska."
Nobody moved. I just wanted to have a small semblance of normalcy before I lost Sam again.
Sam finished his coffee first. He stood and placed the dirty mug into the sink with the slow motions of someone in a dream.
I guzzled the rest of my coffee and left the cup on the kitchen table. Bobby set his half-finished drink on the counter and walked out with us to the living room.
The angel looked up as we approached the desk.
"Okay Cas," Sam said, his voice tight, "Lucifer's in Nome."
"There is no time to lose," Cas said and walked around the desk. He picked up the Seraph Blade and placed it in my hand.
Bobby turned to Sam and said with tears in his eyes, "whatever happens, boy, know that I'm proud of you."
"Thank you Bobby…for everything," Sam said and turned to Cas.
"Ready?" the angel asked.
"No," Sam answered.
Cas put one hand on my shoulder and his other hand on Sam's arm. I realized an instant too late that Sam and I were not dressed for the weather in Alaska and then decided it didn't really matter anyway.
There was the familiar sense of vertigo and suddenly Sam and I were standing in a snow covered cemetery. Fir trees encircled the area. Old grey gravestones poked up through the snow.
Cas had disappeared the instant he dropped us off- to go help Abdiel distract Raphael if that was needed.
A bright sun shone down, turning the snow luminescent. I couldn't help but notice the lack of birdsong or the usual squirrels that call cemeteries home. A chill wind picked up, causing both Sam and I to shiver.
"Where are we?" I asked.
"Jensens Cemetery," Sam answered.
I looked around, we appeared to be alone.
"Maybe you made a mistake…I don't think anyone's here-," Just as the words left my mouth I flew backwards and slammed into the trunk of a tall fir tree.
Black spots flashed before my eyes and a sharp pain shot up my spine to the base of my skull. I scrabbled in the snow until I came into a sitting position and my vision cleared.
I watched as Sam walked calmly from where we had been dropped off to stand before a girl who couldn't have been more than fifteen or sixteen years old.
My first thought was that Lucifer had sent some demon to scope out the area before making an appearance.
I realized that I was no longer holding the Seraph Blade and I was filled with panic. Silently, I searched the surrounding snow until I saw, four feet away from me, the Blade glinting silvery in the sunlight.
I looked through the maze of gravestones to where Sam stood facing the demon. I decided that the demon was sufficiently distracted and moved ever so slowly toward the Seraph Blade so as not to attract attention.
I grabbed the Seraph Blade's handle and hissed, stunned that it had seemed to absorb the cold around it. I put the end of my shirtsleeve over my hand so I could hold the weapon more comfortably.
I crouched in the snow, ready to spring into action at a moment's notice. But all Sam and the demon were doing was standing there. What were they waiting for?
The demon appeared to be appraising Sam, a small smile on her lips.
The girl was very short, not even five feet. She was not dressed for the weather either but only a little better than Sam and I. She was wearing a pair of black jogging pants tucked into those chunky, beige suede boots that all the teen girls have. She had a magenta brand name sweatshirt on, I think it was Lulu Lemon or something like that (I only know the name because Lisa has one).
She had long, curly bright red hair that had to be natural. From here I could see she had large blue eyes and lots of freckles in a pleasant face still round with baby-fat.
The demon spoke first, "Sam, so good to see you. I knew you'd come."
"That's an interesting choice of a vessel," Sam said.
I gaped. That girl was Lucifer! The thought was very disturbing.
The girl shrugged.
"I couldn't afford to be picky," Lucifer said.
Sam just glared and said nothing.
I felt sorry for the poor girl.
"Why are you here now after you've been avoiding me for so long?" Lucifer asked, sounding just like some pouty teenager.
"You know why I'm here," Sam said stiffly.
"I missed you too, Sam," Lucifer grinned.
"Let's just skip the bullshit and get this over with," Sam said.
"Why? Now that we have an audience?" Lucifer asked and glanced at me.
I just prayed to God that Lucifer did not know I had his Seraph Blade.
"Leave Dean out of this," Sam demanded.
Lucifer turned his attention back to my brother.
"Then why did you bring him along?" Lucifer asked.
"He didn't want me to be alone," Sam said harshly.
"How touching," Lucifer mocked.
"Do you know what day it is?" Lucifer asked.
"November second," Sam answered.
"It's the anniversary of your mother's murder. It's the day Azazel marked you for me," Lucifer said as casually as if saying that today was a Monday. The irony of the day was dark.
The Devil changed the subject, grinning. He wasn't ready for Sam to say 'yes' just yet.
"Remember our time together in Hell, Sam?" Lucifer asked. Sam needed no reminder so I knew Lucifer was speaking solely for me.
"Yes," Sam whispered, not daring to take his eyes off Lucifer.
Lucifer grinned broadly.
"Do you remember how strong you were in the beginning? How you had hope? How you thought it didn't matter what I did to you as long as all those pathetic humans were safe?" Lucifer stepped closer to Sam and my brother backed up.
I didn't want to hear this. Not because I couldn't take it but because Sam had not told me every little detail about his time in the Cage with Lucifer and I respected that decision. Heck, I had not told him everything about my stay in Hell. Besides, I did not want to hear about Sam's torture from its perpetrator.
"Stop it! Don't say anymore!" Sam demanded.
Lucifer ignored him and continued, "I chipped away at your armour though, inch by inch…I was very patient…I had the rest of eternity to do with you as I wished. You were beyond salvation."
I think I had stopped breathing as I listened to Lucifer.
"Before you were whisked away you were a broken creature Sam. You begged and cried for me to stop the pain…you were teetering on the brink of madness and just before I could shove you over the edge you were saved," Lucifer grinned with glee, relishing the moment.
Sam's expression was one of deep pain.
I felt sick to my stomach.
"So I will ask you again: why are you here?" Lucifer asked.
Sam took a steadying breath and spoke, "I can't run anymore. I am tired of hiding from what I cannot stop."
Lucifer looked thoughtful, "so you are going to fulfill your destiny?"
Sam nodded.
The girl's blue eyes narrowed with suspicion.
"This isn't a trick? You're not lying to me are you?"
"No, I'm done. I'm finished. I surrender," Sam said.
I held my breath again. I was shivering badly in the cold. My feet and hands had gone numb.
"No Horsemen's' rings hidden up your sleeve?" Lucifer asked and Sam held out his hands to show they were empty.
"What about your brother?" Lucifer looked at me and I froze like a rabbit under the glare of an eagle.
"Dean has nothing," Sam said, using what was his best poker face.
I looked my most innocent. I knew my life and Sam's depended on it.
"You are very weak Sam," Lucifer said, seriously, "not like before. If you do have anything planned I am too strong for you to overcome."
I hoped that we weren't just handing Lucifer his vessel gift-wrapped.
The girl stepped close to Sam and placed a hand on his arm.
"I'm glad you've come to see things my way. You're making the right choice," Lucifer said seriously, almost compassionately, almost.
Sam closed his eyes at the girl's touch. He opened them again with a look of surrender.
"If you are ready, say it," Lucifer took a step backwards.
My heart pounded in my chest as I watched.
"Do you agree to fulfill your role as my vessel?" Lucifer asked formally.
"Yes," Sam whispered, barely audible over the wind.
I slammed my eyes shut against the harsh, bright light that followed.
"Dean!" Sam's voice called out, full of emotion.
I looked up. Sam was still on his feet, his hands to his head as though keeping his skull form exploding. I noticed that the girl lay crumpled a couple of feet away from Sam. I didn't know if she was alive or not but I doubted she had survived.
Sam looked up at me, his expression belying pain. I hesitated. I know I shouldn't have but I couldn't help it. It was either Sam and he was going to kill himself or it was Lucifer and I was about to die.
"Dean, there's no time!" Sam said and I stepped forward, waiting for Lucifer to kill me.
I walked up to my brother and held out the Seraph Blade with one shaking hand.
Sam snatched the Blade and motioned for me to back up.
I stared wide-eyed as Sam gripped the weapon's handle with both hands, its blade pointing at himself.
I could see Sam's hands tremble and had no doubt that Lucifer was fighting like mad to get control before my brother could use the Blade.
Sam went down on his knees. He must be using all his strength focused on keeping Lucifer at bay.
"Don't watch," Sam whispered and I turned my head.
I heard Sam gasp as he stabbed himself. I couldn't help myself and looked out the corner of my eye. There was a bright flash of light and I covered my face with one arm for protection.
Sam lay crumpled on the ground. A wound in his abdomen staining his shirt and the snow red. The Seraph Blade gripped in one limp hand, its blade stained with blood up to the hilt.
Had it worked? I ran over and looked down. Sam's eyes were closed but he was breathing! I decided to take a chance; I had to believe it had worked, that Lucifer was dead.
To be sure I wasn't imagining it I put my face close to Sam's and felt warm breath on my cheek.
"Sam! Can you hear me?" I asked.
"Cas!" I called out but there was no answer from the angel.
The wound was bleeding profusely and I had nothing to stop it. I grabbed my cell phone from the pocket of my jeans and took three tries to call an ambulance because my fingers were too stiff and numb.
I stammered into the receiver. I couldn't articulate what I wanted to say and the operator was no help.
I concentrated on saying Jensens Cemetery very slowly and clearly. I didn't know what was wrong with me. Eventually the 911 operator understood and told me that they would send an ambulance.
I sat down in the snow beside my brother, "don't worry Sammy. Help's coming."
For the next few hours events were all a blur of activity. The paramedics came and found us. They put Sam onto a stretcher and got him into the ambulance. They checked the girl for a pulse and shook their heads, zipped her into a black bag.
They asked me what had happened, what the three of us were doing out here with no winter clothing. One young paramedic grabbed a blanket and draped it over my shoulders.
The paramedics said words that I didn't understand in my confused state. Words like frostbite, hypothermia, exsanguinations, evisceration…
I don't remember the ambulance ride to the hospital in Nome at all.
I vaguely remember being led into a small room and an older doctor attending me. Slowly the confusion passed as I warmed up.
"What happened?" I asked as the doctor wrapped gauze around my hands.
"You have frostbite and hypothermia young man," the doctor said.
I nodded. My fingers and feet were beginning to tingle with pain.
"What were you three doing out in the cemetery with no winter clothes on?" the doctor asked and I couldn't give him an answer.
"Where's my brother?" I wanted to know.
"The young man you came in with?"
I nodded.
"He's in surgery," the doctor said.
The doctor made me stay in the room for four hours until he was satisfied I was recovered from the hypothermia.
When the doctor gave me the go-ahead I made my way to the waiting room. I could walk but it hurt. I had only gotten mild frostbite, it was painful but there would be no permanent damage.
I sat in one of the uncomfortable orange plastic chairs and waited, and waited and waited some more.
I grew nervous every time a doctor approached, only to find they were for someone else. Hours passed and I was still waiting. I made my way to the tiny cafeteria and got some bad, cheap coffee out of the machine.
I realized that God must have answered my prayers if Sam was in surgery instead of the morgue.
I wandered back to the waiting room and sat down with the Styrofoam cup in my bandaged hands.
It was dark when Abdiel and Cas appeared. I had just finished what I was sure was my fiftieth cup of coffee when the sliding doors of the hospital opened and the two angels came strolling in.
"I'm telling you, mate, he's still alive," Abdiel said.
"You know as well as I do that it is not possible for Sam to still be alive," Cas said.
They caught sight of me and walked over.
"Dean, tell Abdiel that Sam is not alive," Cas said.
"Cas, Sam is alive…well, he was the last time I checked," I answered.
"That is impossible! Are you sure Sam killed Lucifer?" Cas said.
"Either Lucifer's dead or the doctors are operating on him right now," I said.
Cas was speechless. He didn't know what to say. He glared accusingly at Abdiel.
"Don't look at me, I was with you the entire time," Abdiel said.
"Dean Winchester?" a doctor approached.
"Yes," I said and stood.
"I'm Dr. Frost," the doctor was maybe a little older than I was with blonde hair and blue eyes.
"Is Sam going to be okay?" I asked.
"We've done all that we can for him here. We'd like to send him to Anchorage if that is alright with you," Dr. Frost said. He looked stressed.
"Sure, I'll sign all the papers or whatever," I said.
The doctor led me to the nurses' station and handed me a stack of papers.
I spent twenty minutes filling out all the forms. It was difficult to write with gauze wrapped around my hands. A lot of them wanted to know Sam's past medical history, any allergies to medication, etc.
I handed the papers in and turned back to the angels.
"What did you do Dean?" Cas asked.
"I didn't do anything," I said.
"No one has survived a wound from a Seraph Blade, they are designed to kill both the angel and the vessel," Cas said.
"You want to know what I did Cas? I asked God to save him, okay?" I snapped.
"What?" Cas looked confused.
"God saved Sam," I said slowly.
Both Abdiel and Cas stared at me with dumbfounded expressions.
"I need to go," Cas said and disappeared. Yeah, he just vanished from the waiting room like he had never been there.
"Can you take me to Anchorage?" I asked Abdiel and he nodded.
We waited around until Dr. Frost returned and told us what hospital they were sending Sam to.
The doctor asked if I wanted someone to drive me out there but I told him I had it covered.
Abdiel and I stepped outside and the angel healed my frostbite and then took me to Anchorage.
Once again I waited and waited. I sat in another uncomfortable plastic chair, blue this time while beside Abdiel.
"Is Cas going to be okay?" I asked.
"He's just confused that Sam managed to survive the wound," Abdiel said.
"Oh," I answered. I was actually just as confused as the angel about this one.
"Cas will get over it," Abdiel said, "he just needs time."
I looked at my watch. Sam had been in surgery for nearly ten hours.
"Can't you just fix Sam?" I asked.
"No, Dean I can't" Abdiel answered.
"Why not?" I asked.
"Seraph Blades are created with a spell that prevents any angel from repairing the damage they cause," Abdiel said.
"Should the doctor be taking this long?" I wondered aloud.
"Seraph Blades are supposed to do maximum damage…I expect the doctors are trying their best," Abdiel whispered.
I stood and found a coffee machine and came back to the waiting room.
As I sat down I felt my cell phone in my pocket and realized I had completely forgotten to call Sarah.
I pulled my phone out but as though reading my mind Abdiel stopped me.
"I'll get her, mate."
Abdiel walked out of the sliding doors and returned ten minutes later with Sarah. She hurried into the building and sat down beside me. She wore an oversized green sweatshirt and a pair of jeans; she had sneakers on her feet. Her hair was a tangled mess that frizzed around her head like a halo.
"Is Sam going to be okay?" Sarah asked.
"I don't know, I haven't been told anything," I confessed.
Waiting. Waiting. Waiting….
"Dean Winchester?" I looked up to see two police officers standing in front of me.
"Yes?" I asked.
"I'm Officer Morgan and this is Officer Dearborn. We'd like to talk to you about the events that occurred in Jensens Cemetery," The first officer said.
I stood and so did Abdiel.
"Who are you?" Morgan asked.
"I'm Mr. Winchester's lawyer," Abdiel said, "He's not answering any questions unless I am with him."
The police officers led us into an empty exam room and closed the door. I had no idea how I was going to explain what happened so that it didn't sound crazy or get me arrested.
Before the officers could begin, Abdiel spoke. He told the officers that the three of us: Sam, the girl and I had been kidnapped and we'd been forced to choose one of us to die. It sounded like something out of a horror film, one of the 'Saw' movies, maybe. I think I had seen something like that in a rerun of Criminal Minds. I remained silent though and let Abdiel work his magic.
Abdiel spun a story so fictitious it had to be real. I watched as Dearborn wrote down all Abdiel said in a little notepad.
"That story has more holes in it than Swiss cheese," I said. I didn't think anyone would be stupid enough to believe it.
"No one will question it," Abdiel said.
"What about all the evidence?" I asked.
"You let me worry about that," the angel said and we returned to the waiting room.
I didn't really care what Abdiel did as long as we were left alone.
It was a full fourteen hours before the doctor came out to see us. The doctor was a tall Asian man named Lau.
He knew I was Sam's brother but he looked questionably at Sarah. He wouldn't say anything in front of her unless she was a relative.
"I'm their sister," Sarah said and Dr. Lau looked convinced.
"We've done all we can for your brother," Dr. Lau said.
"How is he?" Sarah asked.
"He's still in critical condition I'm afraid. We repaired as much of the damage as we could right now but he'll need more surgery," Dr. Lau's face was grim.
"Is he awake? Can we see him?" Sarah asked.
I knew something was wrong so I didn't speak.
"Your brother lost a great deal of blood," Dr. Lau continued, "And he suffered a severe trauma: he is unconscious right now."
Sarah drew in a sharp breath. I closed my eyes for a moment.
"Can we see him?" I asked.
Dr. Lau led us down the hall to the ICU. Sarah and I, after donning sterile gloves and disposable jackets were allowed into the room. The doctors were very worried about infection.
Sam looked so vulnerable lying there in the hospital bed with his eyes closed and monitors beeping around him. An IV line was attached to one hand. At least he was breathing on his own; I could see his chest rise and fall beneath the covers.
Sarah took hold of one of Sam's hands in both of hers. I walked to the other side of the bed and took Sam's other hand.
"I'm so sorry Sam," I apologized.
I felt that I had a hand in everything that had happened to my brother.
Abdiel appeared, looking morose.
"Does he know we're here?" Sarah asked.
"No, love," the angel said.
"Will he wake up?" I asked.
"I don't know Dean," Abdiel said sadly.
"You two should go home," the angel said, "I'll let you know if anything happens."
Reluctantly Sarah and I agreed to go home. I needed to see Lisa anyway. Abdiel took Sarah back to Albany first. I asked Abdiel to take me to Sioux Falls so I could pick up our stuff. When I returned to Indiana I was unpleasantly surprised to find that I my boss had let me go- he had not been impressed to see my 'family emergency' turn into an affair that had taken months and with no word from me in the process. I didn't let that get to me though- from years of being a hunter I always knew how to make Plan B's on the spot- I would start my own construction company, be my own boss and all that…
November turned to December and Sam remained in the hospital; he had slipped into a coma soon after the first surgery and his prospects looked grim. Sam had half a dozen more surgeries but he didn't wake up. When I told Lisa about my brother she seemed genuinely sad for me; she apologized for her behavior over the past few months. She said that she had been childish and terribly inconsiderate. Lisa explained that she had been afraid: afraid of Sam because he seemed so haunted, that it was unnatural for the dead to come back to life and Sam's resurrection had frightened her, she had been afraid that I would leave and she would never see me again. Lisa had said those things about Sam out of fear. I could forgive but I didn't think I could forget. She asked if there was any way she could make it up to me. I told her not to talk about Sam like that again. I started out my own company, hired a handful of guys and even started on some projects.
I invited Sarah to Cicero for Christmas. I didn't want her to be alone.
Sarah had moved away from Albany to a farm house in Montana, right between Helena and Butte.
Lisa and I gave Ben a puppy for Christmas, a golden retriever that he named Copper.
Sarah told me she was going to drive up to Anchorage on Boxing Day to see Sam. She had seemed subdued and I was worried about her.
After Christmas Eve dinner (that I had been obliged to make due to Lisa's delicate condition) Sarah and I stepped outside into the mild Indiana winter night.
"How are you doing?" I asked.
"Fine. Montana's nice; I like the peace and quiet there," Sarah smiled, "totally opposite of Albany."
She knew that was not really what I meant.
"You must think I'm being an inconvenience. I don't even know why I called Sam in the first place- I hadn't thought of him for years…I just called on a whim…I don't even know why I remembered you two," Sarah said without looking at me.
I shook my head, "I don't think of you as an inconvenience at all. I wasn't sure what to do with Sam but I knew I didn't want to be staying in one crappy motel after the other until the time came for us to act. The truth is: besides Bobby Singer, Sam and I don't really trust too many people, especially other hunters…I felt like I was taking a huge risk coming to see you- I thought you'd take one look at us and slam and bolt your door. I am very grateful that you let us stay with you when we were practically strangers…I told you about Sam's PTSD and you didn't even bat an eyelash and you even tried to help him," I was beginning to ramble a little but I needed to let Sarah know how I felt about her.
"You were really the first girl Sam connected with after Jessica…I mean, usually we go on a mission, do our job and leave without really getting to know the people we help (I guess you can't really, when you do what we do) but my brother actually had a conversation with you that didn't involve monsters or ghosts or demons…And you were brave, you wanted to help your friend…" Sarah nodded as I said that last part as though remembering the event so long ago it seemed as though it had happened to someone else.
"…Sam opened up to you… He wouldn't even tell Bobby about what happened to him in Hell…he had trouble telling me but he told you and that means a lot coming from him…" I sighed.
"I guess what I'm trying to say is that you're not an inconvenience, you're practically family, you're like the little sister I never had," I said at last.
Sarah turned to me. Her eyes were dry, "thank you Dean." She walked over to me and gave me a sisterly peck on the cheek.
The rest of the evening and Christmas Day were more light-hearted. Sarah played with Ben and the puppy and chatted with Lisa, she was relieved I wasn't just taking pity on her. I keenly felt Sam's absence though: he should have been with us, not lying in a coma in some hospital miles away.
Sarah and I woke at six in the morning on Boxing Day to get a head start on our long drive up to Alaska. Sarah insisted we take her car so by six thirty we were speeding down the quiet roads in her little Audi.
We drove nonstop through to Illinois, Wisconsin, Minnesota…crossed the border into Canada and drove through the lower half of Manitoba, Saskatchewan, Alberta and crossed almost lengthways through British Columbia into Juneau, Alaska.
We stopped at Cordova and then pressed on until we reached Anchorage. The entire trip took us nearly three days.
It would have been simpler and quicker just to call Abdiel and have him angel teleport Sarah and I to the hospital but we both agreed we could use the drive.
I grew nervous once Sarah and I entered the hospital in Anchorage, I don't know why, maybe it was the thought that Sam was still in a coma and he wouldn't even know we were there for him.
Sam had been moved from the ICU into a smaller room on the third floor. When Sarah and I entered the room I was surprised to see Abdiel there. The angel was sitting on an uncomfortable looking chair, humming to himself quietly.
The angel stood as we came inside. Sarah went right to Sam's side and sat down on an extra chair.
"Have you been here the whole time?" I asked the angel. He still had his hat and coat on even though the hospital was very warm.
"Well, not the whole time…" Abdiel said.
"You don't need to do this," I protested. I felt bad that the angel seemed to believe it was his duty to watch over my brother.
"I want to do this," Abdiel said, "I feel responsible for him."
I looked around the room uncomfortably. The room was that kind of fake cheerful you only find in hospitals with a lot of bright yellows and calming beiges.
I listened to Sarah talking to Sam even though we were sure he couldn't hear us. She spoke of the farm she had bought: a large house situated on the top of a natural hill to afford a good view of the surrounding prairie. Sarah told Sam how she had got the place really cheaply because the owners were older and they had three horses that needed to stay on the farm.
"The pasture is huge," Sarah said, "with a big tree in the middle- it's an oak tree. The horses are wonderful. There's a big old bay gelding and a little red mare and her colt."
I looked back to Abdiel, "what's happening Upstairs?"
Abdiel sighed, "We've won the battle but there's still going to be a war. Raphael and our side are at a stalemate. The fallen angels don't want anything to do with Raphael now that Lucifer's dead. Belial has gathered the many of the rebels to him. Some of them have just left, I don't know, maybe they're tired of fighting like Gabriel was, and some are coming to our side…It's all kind of muddled right now. Cas has his hands full just trying to tell friend from foe. I'm not much use with that sort of thing…I haven't been in Heaven for a while and I am more comfortable dealing with humans…I only helped Cas convince the other angels to our side because he asked."
I sighed. I wasn't sure what to say. Raphael just didn't want to give up that easily.
"You know my son is going to be born soon…" I began.
"Don't worry Dean. Cas and I have agreed that you are no longer involved," Abdiel said.
"Has there been any change in Sam?" I asked.
Abdiel shook his head.
"If I could wake him you know I'd do so in an instant," Abdiel said and I nodded.
A nurse hurried into the room. She was a petite thing with bushy mousy coloured hair and rather thick glasses.
"Oh, you must be Dean. Abel, I mean Mr. Ward, has told me so much about you," the nurse said and stepped forward to shake my hand.
Mr. Ward? Abel? I thought and then remembered that was what we called the angel.
"Carmen, I told you to call me Abel," Abdiel said and the nurse blushed.
Nurse Carmen turned to me, "Dr. Lau will want to talk to you. I'll go get him."
The nurse bustled out, giving Sarah a nod as she went.
Minutes later the tall Asian doctor entered and motioned for me to follow him outside. Sarah stood and looked expectant.
Dr. Lau looked at me and I nodded.
The three of us walked down the hall Dr. Lau turned to us with a grim expression on his face.
"I am terribly sorry to have to tell you this Mr. Winchester; Miss Winchester… due to circumstances beyond our control there is a very slim chance that your brother will ever regain consciousness. We have done all that is humanly possible for Sam, we have repaired his wounds to the best of our abilities but the trauma he suffered was too great," Dr. Lau spoke softly, slowly as if to children.
"Isn't there anything else you can do?" Sarah asked. I could see tears welling up in her eyes.
Dr. Lau shook his head, "the longer a person remains in a coma, the less chance there is of that person ever recovering."
I knew the doctor had doubts that Sam would recover when I first spoke to him but of course Dr. Lau didn't know Sam. Over the years Sam or I would get hurt but we'd always be back on our feet in no time, we were strong, we always got better…I guess I underestimated the factors this time. I should have known that Sam was far too weak, that Lucifer was too strong, that a Seraph Blade would be the weapon to lay my brother low. But I had asked God, practically begged Him not to let Sam die and although my brother was not technically dead, he might as well have been.
"Your brother will receive the best care if you wish for him to remain here or-" Dr. Lau began but I shook my head. I was not going to have this conversation.
I held up a hand to signal that I didn't want to talk anymore and the PA system called for Lau to go to the Emergency Room.
I watched the doctor rush off and turned to Sarah. The tears had overflowed and were coursing silently down her cheeks. I gripped her in a hug and felt her shake against me as she tried to stifle her emotions.
"I won't let this happen Sarah," I whispered, "I'll get Sam back, one way or another."
We walked slowly back to Sam's room. Sarah went to sit by my brother again. She held his hand in hers and with her free hand brushed some of his hair back from his forehead.
I went over to Abdiel and whispering, asked if there was, for certain, nothing he or any other angel could do for Sam.
Abdiel shook his head sorrowfully.
Sarah spoke up from her seat, "it just seems like you and Sam have cheated death so many times and now this…"
Without counting the time I had brought Sammy back to life by making a deal with a Crossroads demon, both Sam and I had seemed to have cheated death one way or another for so long I guess we forgot that we were still human and that eventually we would have to die…
I paused in my thought. Cheating death? Death? That was it!
"Abdiel, do you know where Death is?" I asked the surprised angel.
"Of course, mate, but why do you want to see him?" Abdiel asked, confused and curious at the same time.
"He owes me a favour," I said.
I walked over to Sarah.
"I need to go with Abdiel for a few minutes but I will be back and hopefully when I return Sam will be better," I said.
"Alright," Sarah held Sam's hand protectively.
I walked over to Abdiel and we went to find Death. The familiar sense of vertigo mixed with my anxiety to make me nauseous.
We appeared on the balcony of what I guessed was a restaurant. The climate was hot and kind of humid. Both Abdiel and I looked very out of place in our coats. I looked over the heads of the tourists to see if I could spot Death.
"Where are we anyway?" I asked the angel.
"Madrid, Spain."
I only saw men and women in dress clothes eating bread and cheese and sipping wine.
"Are you sure he's here?" I asked.
"I'm positive, mate. You can't see 'em but there's a whole lot of Reapers hanging about," Abdiel said.
That thought creeped me out slightly and I began walking past all the tourists, deeper into the restaurant.
Abdiel followed right behind me.
I caught sight of Death, sitting at the back of the place at a solitary table. I stepped forward and sat down in the seat across from him. The Horseman looked just the same as he did when I had seen him in that pizzeria. Abdiel remained standing, hands behind his back but his raptor gaze was pinned to Death.
The Horseman was decidedly unsurprised to see me. He didn't even look up from the newspaper he was reading (in Spanish) and sipped his espresso.
The Horseman did not speak so I cleared my throat. He folded the paper and set it on the table to one side and looked at me with a patient expression.
I fidgeted under Death's gaze, "I uh…I need a….favour from you…."
"I'm listening," Death said.
I gulped. I didn't know why I was so nervous. I had talked to him before.
"I need you to wake Sam up," I blurted out.
Death said nothing at first. He folded his hands in front of himself and looked at me with a serious expression.
"I cannot do that Dean," Death said with what I thought might be a touch of regret in his voice.
"Why not? I did what you said: I let Sam jump into Hell despite my better judgment. Sam was in Hell for eighteen months- that's one hundred and eighty years! He was tortured by the one creature who hated him the most because I did what you asked of me," I said.
"I know what happened to your brother in Hell and I am grateful to you both for making that difficult decision but I cannot help you," Death said and took a drink of espresso.
"You owe Sam; he saved your ass from Lucifer!" I said.
"I owe your brother nothing, Dean!" The Horseman snapped and I cringed back in my seat.
"He's not going to help us, mate. We should go," Abdiel said.
I ignored the angel.
"Please. The doctors say Sam will never wake up and the angels can't do anything," I didn't want to beg but I couldn't help myself.
Death's expression turned sympathetic.
"Dean, it is not as easy as you believe to make this work," Death said.
"What are you talking about? All you have to do is snap your fingers or whatever and wake Sam up like you're a hypnotist," I said.
The Horseman shook his head, "Sam is going to die, Dean. He is not going to live much longer."
I gaped.
"Sam is very weak, you know this, and he simply cannot remain alive. He will just slip away," Death said.
"But…but…" I stammered.
"Every living creature must die, Dean, and it is your brother's time. Every creature has only a limited amount of life within them and eventually it runs out, an expiry date if I may be so crude, and that date is fixed. You could have done things different a thousand times over but still Sam would die when he is scheduled to, just as you will when your time comes."
"When?" I managed to whisper.
"February fourth," Death answered.
The fourth of February, the date that Sam was to die, the date my son was due to be born. "Can't you do anything?" I asked.
Death sighed and sucked in a breath, "the bell has tolled for Sam."
"I like you Dean; I always have, so here is what I'll do. I will save your brother but to do so someone will have to take your brother's place," Death said.
I was greatly relieved, Sam would be alright.
"Okay, do whatever you have to do to save Sam," I said.
Death looked a little surprised that I was so willing to let someone else take Sam's place.
"I loathe impinging on the natural order of things; are you sure you want to do this Dean?" The Horseman asked and tented his fingers.
"Yes!" I said forcefully.
"You think I am being unfair for taking Sam away from you but it is really you who are being unfair. You would see a stranger's life taken from then prematurely so your brother can continue living. Does that not seem at all selfish to you? What if your brother is better off dead? Would you still feel the same about your decision?" The Horseman asked.
"Just wake Sam up!" I was not thinking rationally at all. I didn't care about some stranger I'd never meet, I cared about my brother.
Death stood, gathered his newspaper and walking stick, "after you."
"Can I just ask you one question?" I said timidly.
"Yes," Death said and paused.
"I asked God to let Sam live and, well, Sam isn't dead but he might as well be if he's never going to recover…I just wanted to know what was the point of God letting Sam live if you were going to take him in February anyway?" I wanted to know. I really didn't know what God was trying to get at by allowing Sam to live, albeit in a coma, for a few months and die without regaining consciousness.
"I am not so proud as to pretend to fathom the thoughts of God, Dean. Perhaps you needed to be more specific," The Horseman said and I couldn't stop my face from crumpling.
"It is likely that God was trying to play by the rules," Death said.
"Who's rules?" I asked.
"That is now two questions Dean," Death said.
I sighed; I just wanted to get back to Anchorage.
"My rules, Dean. God has been involved with humans less and less and He probably wished to grant your request but could not go against the natural order of things," Death said.
So God wanted to save Sam but He didn't want to fuck up Death's master plan…I thought that was a load of bullshit but I kept that to myself.
"C'mon Abdiel," I said and grabbed the angel's sleeve.
The angel and I appeared back in Sam's room what must have been maybe ten minutes since we had left.
Sarah looked up, "Dean! Abdiel!"
I looked around and Death swept into the room from the doorway.
Sarah looked up expectantly only to appear confused as she could only see Abdiel and I.
"Don't worry Sarah, we'll help Sam," I said and watched the Horseman approach my brother. I didn't know why I could see Death and Sarah could not, I figured Abdiel had something to do with it, a spell or something.
Death leaned over Sam's prone form. The Horseman raised Sam's free arm and stood there, concentrating as though checking my brother's pulse.
"Can you do it?" I asked.
"Of course I can 'do it' but I don't understand why you want to keep Sam alive after everything he's been through," The Horseman answered.
"Because he's my brother," I said.
Sarah sat by Sam's side, watching me talk to what she saw as thin air with a look of trepidation and confusion on her face.
"Are you doing this for Sam or for yourself, Dean?" Death asked.
I closed my eyes. I was doing this for Sam, so he could have some semblance of a normal life he never had.
"Just wake him up," I said and opened my eyes.
Death shrugged and placed the first two fingers of his left hand on Sam's forehead. The monitors in the room shrieked, I watched as the line on the heart monitor spiked dangerously.
The Horseman took his hand away and the monitors returned to their normal, steady rhythm. I looked expectantly at my brother, willing him to open his eyes but nothing happened.
"Did it work?" I asked.
"I am a Horseman, Dean, not a miracle worker," Death said.
"So…" I continued, looking at Death skeptically.
"Sam will wake up on the fourth of February," Death said.
"Can't you speed it up or something?" I didn't want Sam to be lying in the hospital bed in Alaska for another month.
"Take it or leave it Dean," Death said.
I raised my hands in surrender, "okay, okay."
"Now if you will excuse me, I have an appointment in South Africa I am already late for," Death said and walked out the door and down the hall, his black coat swishing behind him like a cape.
Sarah looked at me, wide-eyed.
"Is Sam going to be alright?" Sarah asked quietly.
"Yeah. He'll wake up on the fourth of February," I answered.
I sat down in the empty seat with a sigh. Sam is going to be alright, nothing else matters, I thought.
"Can I talk to you a minute, Dean?" Abdiel asked and I nodded.
We walked down the hall and stepped into an unoccupied room.
"Wot the bloody hell do you think you're doing?" Abdiel turned to me. His bird of prey gaze was piercing.
"Saving Sam's life," I snapped.
"Sometimes you really are a prat, Dean!" Abdiel said.
"So all that guardian angel crap was just for show?" I asked. I folded my arms over my chest since I felt like punching the angel.
"Of course I want to save your brother but not like this," Abdiel answered.
"I didn't see you giving any suggestions," I replied.
"This isn't right Dean, it doesn't feel right-" I interrupted the angel.
"What's not right is the fact Sam loses everything, every time!"
"Would you just shut your gob and listen to me?" Abdiel moved forward until he was nearly toe to toe with me.
I raised my hands in surrender and backed up.
"I think something is wrong Dean, very wrong. I think it isn't that God wouldn't save your brother as you asked, but rather that He couldn't. I think something is up with Death as well. I think he'd refuse to save Sam even if you begged him on your knees because it would screw up his whole plan. Death simply does not trade one human's life for another- it is unheard of. Something big is going on and I think we should find out what that is," Abdiel said.
"You are free to investigate God and Death if you want but don't drag me into it. I'm done Abdiel. I have a family to think about now. How do you know something is up, anyway, God could just be being a dick and maybe Death has a soft spot for Sam and I," I answered.
"Alright Dean, I am sorry. Neither you nor Sam will be involved. This is probably better left to angels than humans anyway," Abdiel said.
I nodded.
"I had better go than. Cas may be able to help me with this," Abdiel paused for a moment and then said, "good luck."
The angel vanished and I was left by myself. I told myself not to worry about what Abdiel had said, it wasn't my concern anymore. The only things I had to worry about now were Lisa and the baby and Sam. I made my way back to Sam's room and told Sarah that Abdiel had gone back to Heaven. We stayed with Sam for a half hour more and then decided that we should go back home.