Just staring at a wall.
Staring at a wall.
Staring at a wall.
Where are you, Dominic?
Staring at a wall.
Staring at a wall.
It's a constant routine of wake and curse and roll and stare and ignore and feel yourself wasting away and check and are you there are you not there and roll back and eyes slipping fight it fight it fight it but the darkness always closes in.
It is inevitable, Dominic, that I will end up alone. I cannot forget you. Even when you are gone, even when you have gone out, gone away, left me by myself for a while, I cannot ignore your presence. You're still here. The energy. It tells me. You're here.
But when I fall asleep, my mind shuts itself down and it terrifies me, Dominic.
Because when I am disappeared they can do anything they want to me.
They can do anything they want to you.
I need to be your soldier, your guard. I am looking after you, now. I am the small yet mighty and I will take them on, will protect my treasure from filthy, jealous hands.
But I cannot be constant. I am wavering in and out of existence and whenever the blackness consumes my being and swallows me perfectly, like a blanket over my head but without the light sneaking in through the gaps in the fibres, like a total eclipse, I am destroyed with the blankness, staring at a wall.
And when I am not constant, they take you.
And when I am not constant, they destroy me.
Must
Hold
Out.
WAKE UP
It's milky and colourful and blurry and fascinating, like a secret garden I've created for the pair of us, a paradise for us to live in. Come stay with me, Dominic.
WAKE UP
The air is warm here. Not suffocating, like the damp air from where I escape from. Not like the stale air of early morning rises and coffee breath. Just a perfect warmth, like you.
WAKE UP
I'm waiting for you in perfection. I don't need to ask questions, because I know you will join me. How could you resist my utopia? How could you resist me? I know enough to remember that you never did before.
WAKE UP
Look at the pretty lights floating around in the air and the vivid colours of everything around, like in a children's picture book instead of the dull, real life hues that restrict our imaginations.
WAKE UP
Everything. Everything is so beautiful. It's like a garden made of you, our own personal Eden, and you're the only thing missing. Come and be the statue in the corner of the patio, my real life Adonis. You'd fit in well here. It is exactly how you are and ex
.
Dominic.
Dominic?
I think my heart just stopped.
pull me under Dominic pull me down under the waves
i heard that drowning is the most peaceful way to die and right now i'm too fragile to manage anything worse.
is there a light please tell me
i know everything Dominic
i know
i know it all
i've never been so powerful and yet my state
my state of mind
my state of matter
what chemical state am i?/?
says that my power is useless because my power would be too out of control and they cannot trust me even though you and i both know
knew
that i am the most trustworthy person in the world
oh Dominic i wish you'd trusted me
i wish you'd fallen into my arms because my arms would've held you better than the floor ever did wouldn't i wouldn't i Dominic?
say you'd have trusted me
say you'd have fallen to me if you could
i hate you, you know
Dominic? you listening?
i hate you because i love you far too much and it hurts it really really does it hurts like nothing i've ever felt before and please Dominic please you're killing me
you killed me long ago
loving you makes me want to die.
And so here I am.
Staring at a wall.
Staring at a wall.
The colours are gone, Dominic.
All of them.
Staring at wall.
You left with them.
Months ago.
Didn't come back for me.
Was my love unrequited? Was I so deluded all along that this is now sanity?
Is this sanity?
I hope not.
Staring at a wall.
Dominic Dominic Dominic Dominic
you're the only thought that's ever in my mind.
Dominic, I miss you.
Dominic, I love you.
Staring at a wall.
Forever and a day.
Dominic.
Save me.