Author's Note: Please see previous notes. I went away with my husband on a business trip and have been dealing with a cold and jet lag, but finally I felt the first bit of energy to write so here's the latest chapter.

Warning: it's a tear-jerker and we're jumping ahead another year….

XXX

"If we re-route power from the couplings here," Trip said to his engineering team. "We can hook up those extra power units on C deck, but if they keep sucking that level of power daily, I'm issuing a brown out from midnight until five am. Let's speak with each unit individually, so they conform to the new power regulations and that way I don't have to cut them off."

"But sir, some of the people on C deck work shifts and no power from…"

"I know Rostov, but there's always going to someone who gets screwed, and midnight to five am means the least amount of people," Trip sighed. "Talk to them. Help them to understand the need to reduce their daily power use so I don't have to do that."

His team nodded.

"Dismissed," Trip sighed as he looked back down at the schematics.

He was exhausted. T'Pol had been in a dark place for a few months now and he felt himself being sucked in with her. In some ways, he couldn't blame her. Between T'Pol, the Captain, and him they were probably each working 60-hour weeks regularly and had little time for anything pleasurable. The demands of running this ship, making trade partners, dealing with crew issues, and general maintenance without the assistance of Starfleet and their allies was taxing. Some days, Trip thought T'Pol's idea to settle on a planet, was looking better and better.

And now, with all the kids, and expectant parents on board it felt like everyone was having a power field day. More lights were being used, more portable devices…hell, he even caught one crew member with her own hydroponics lab going because she didn't like the taste of the tomatoes from the ship's lab. He was going to have to speak with the Captain and T'Pol about surprise crew quarters inspections, so they could gather up all the illegal and power-draining devices.

"Fuck," Trip said under his breath. He was about to become the most hated man on board for this plan.

"Here," T'Pol said as she passed him a cup of tea.

Trip turned and smiled at her. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to bring you a cup of tea, and ask you to take a break," T'Pol said. She had sensed his mood across the ship nearly twenty minutes ago and had taken advantage of Lieutenant Reed on the Bridge and taken a break to bring her mate something soothing for his current temperament.

"Just what the doctor ordered," Trip sighed as he looked down at the cup of tea and then up at her. He gestured with a nod of his head for her to join him in his office.

When the door shut behind them he kissed her on the top of her head. In all the years that they had been together, he could count on one hand the public displays of affection they had shared. She was affectionate in private, but he knew, almost as if it was an unspoken rule, that she would only tolerate so much of his affection in front of others.

"The energy drains on C deck?" T'Pol asked him.

"How'd you know?" Trip inquired.

"You've been talking about it for weeks," T'Pol said.

Truthfully, these last few months she'd sensed a one-sided bond had formed in their relationship and she knew most of his thoughts and feelings as he experienced them. And, at times, she sensed he knew hers, but it was…sporadic…unpredictable, and something she had not discussed with him. She had been struggling with this issue for months and needed to come to an understanding on her own before she involved him. It may involve them having to sever the tenuous bond they had, and she wasn't sure she was ready for that.

"I think we're going to have to do surprise crew quarters inspections," Trip said. "There's no way in hell everyone needs the energy they are using and unless I get my crew to install limiters in every set of quarters…"

"Which half the crew are smart enough to hack…" T'Pol offered.

"Exactly," Trip sighed as he took a sip of his tea.

"We need to make this a societal change," T'Pol offered. "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few."

"That's great for Vulcans," Trip said as he put down his cup and gestured for her to come sit with him. "But try telling Hoshi she can't have a bottle heater in her quarters, or Melanie that playing that white noise for Winston all night can't continue."

T'Pol walked toward him and he pulled her onto his lap and buried his head in her neck and took a long, deep, breath of T'Pol.

She ran her hand through his hair and kissed the top of his head.

"We'll speak with the Captain and make everyone understand that they need to think of the greater purpose of our mission and not the smaller details of daily comforts," T'Pol offered.

"You and I use a quarter of the power compared to some of these units," Trip said before he took another deep breath of T'Pol.

"We are hardly there except to sleep," T'Pol explained. "And we don't have children."

He felt a jolt of sadness run through him and he looked up at her.

She had no change in her expression and he wondered where that feeling came from. He must be so tired he was feeling things that weren't there.

"Want to speak with him at dinner tonight?" Trip asked.

"Did we make plans?" T'Pol inquired with an arched eyebrow.

"The three of us have not eaten together in over a week," Trip said. "I wanted to make sure it happened tonight."

"And when was I going to be made aware of this?" T'Pol asked, there was some teasing to her voice.

"When I showed up to escort you from the Bridge," Trip smirked at her. "I was going to bring flowers."

"Really?" T'Pol asked.

"And wear a jacket," Trip added with a teasing expression.

"And what is the reason for all this?" T'Pol inquired, knowing full well what his plans were for the evening, even if he didn't know that she was aware.

"It's your birthday, T'Pol," Trip said, knowing that she was just egging him on.

"I am aware of that fact," T'Pol said primly.

"Your 69th birthday," Trip said as he shoved his tongue into his cheek.

"And the significance of this is what exactly?" T'Pol asked as he projected incredibly vivid images of them simultaneously performing oral sex on each other.

"It's just a nice year to celebrate," Trip said with a large grin.

She couldn't help herself, his playfulness was catching, and she took advantage of the moment.

"After dinner I need to supervise experiments we are running in the chemistry lab," T'Pol said as she met his eyes and watched his face start to fall. "I probably won't return to our quarters until you are going on morning shift, so it's good we are spending our little time together with the Captain."

"What?" Trip asked, slightly annoyed. "You're ditching me after dinner?"

"I have experiments…"

"It's your birthday, T'Pol…" Trip practically whined.

She wanted to extend the joke, but the defeated look on his face and the sadness that was being projected, was causing her to be swayed.

"I'm joking," T'Pol said as she looked into his eyes.

"What?" Trip asked, a perplexed look on his face.

"I plan to spend the evening with you exploring the significance of turning 69," T'Pol smiled at him.

"Holy crap, you really had me!" Trip said as he sat back in his chair and looked at her. "You're getting better and better, darlin'"

"I think so," T'Pol said as she stood from her place on his lap. "I need to return to the bridge."

He playfully smacked her ass and stood with her.

"I can't trust you as far as I can throw you anymore," Trip chuckled.

"Well I hope you intend to do other things to me tonight that don't involve throwing me," T'Pol said with a sultry voice as she leaned into him.

Trip swallowed hard. "You know what 69 means, don't you?"

"I do," T'Pol said softly.

"You knew the whole time?" Trip asked.

"I suspected," T'Pol lied.

Trip leaned in and kissed her slowly and meaningfully.

"I'll see you at dinner," T'Pol said when they broke apart.

Trip nodded.

"And I will support your idea to inspect crew quarters," T'Pol said before she opened the door and left.

Trip sat down heavily in his chair and reached for his tea. It looked like her mood was on the upswing and that made his plans for tonight even more important.

XXX

Hoshi Sato walked toward her quarters and sighed. It was just after midnight and she was tired. As much as she had not been ready to return to work, she needed to. Her five month old twin boys were killing her with their demands and she had been taking it out on Daniel. She had just completed her first of three shifts this week and had started her journey as a working mother. She had filled in for some sporadic shifts over the last two months when they had encountered new species and languages but now she was on the schedule, if only part-time, and it felt good.

She looked down at her flabby belly and sighed. She needed to work on that too. There were a lot of things that had taken a back seat to the boys these last few months and she felt the sudden urge to focus on other things. Truthfully, she loved her boys, she loved their giggles and their drool and their fat little bellies. But she knew deep down that she was never meant to be just a mom. Sure, Amanda seemed content, as did some other women on the ship; but it wasn't for her. She needed more stimulation beyond fairy tale books and baby sing-a-longs. And finally, now that she was truly back at work, she would get that. Hoshi squeezed some loose flesh on her stomach and sighed again.

"Starting tomorrow morning," Hoshi said, determined, as she rounded the last corner.

Daniel had adjusted to parenting better than she had; he was a natural and part of her resented him for that. The boys, Toru and Akio, settled better in his arms, they slept better when he was home; he was a calming presence and she was the anxious mess. Daniel was patient with her moods, calm in the face a runny poop, vomit, and crying and seemed to relish in every new change and stage with their boys. She hadn't expected that at all. It was both comforting and alarming to see him as such a good father to their sons.

They hadn't married, much to his annoyance. But Hoshi honestly felt they needed to be sure before they truly bound themselves to each other. She knew he was just waiting for her to agree, but something kept holding her back. She wasn't sure what, but she figured she'd know if and when it was the right choice.

The door to their quarters opened when she was three steps away and Daniel came running out of them with a baby in his arms.

"He's not breathing!" He screamed at Hoshi as he ran past her. "Get Toru!"

Hoshi froze for a moment. She wanted to run after him, run after the baby in distress, but she had another baby that needed her as well. She ran into the room and scooped up Toru, listening for his breath and heart beat and thanking every god for it's presence, before she tucked him against her and ran for Sick Bay as well.

When she arrived, Daniel was crying and pacing as Phlox tried to resuscitate their son.

"What happened?" Hoshi screamed as she felt her knees buckling underneath her.

Someone, she wasn't sure who, quickly took Toru from her arms as she ran to her other son.

"They were sleeping and…and I was so grateful because Akio had been so fussy," Daniel said through tears as they watched their son's little body being shocked. "I fell asleep for a couple of hours and I…I woke up and…and they were fine…they were fine."

Hoshi felt him wrap her in his arms and fiercely tuck her against him.

"Hosh, I had a shower, to wake up for shift and…and I must not have heard the alarm, or I don't know, it delayed or…when I came out it was going off."

They watched as his little body got shocked again and Phlox inserted a needle into his chest and plunged some type of medication into him.

"I tried to get him to breathe but when I couldn't…when I couldn't…" Daniel started to gasp and sob at the same time as Hoshi saw Phlox shake his head and step away from her son.

"Phlox?!" Hoshi screamed as she pulled away from Daniel.

He turned and looked at them with one of the saddest expressions she had ever seen him wear.

"I'm sorry," Phlox said softly.

"Akio?" Hoshi asked as she stepped toward her son and touched his soft skin.

"Hoshi, he was gone," Phlox said. "Daniel tried everything and so did I."

"No," Hoshi said softly as she shook her head. "No, no, not…not Akio…he's a baby…he's…"

She heard Daniel's pained scream behind her and looked at her angelic son.

She ran her hand over his soft skin, touched his closed eyes, palmed his soft head of jet black hair, and touched his toes.

The tears rolled down her face until she couldn't even focus on her baby anymore. She wiped at them and tried to focus harder; she knew she needed to remember every detail of this moment, of him.

XXX

Trip woke up in the early hours of the morning and tried to focus his eyes on the woman who was sleeping contentedly beside him.

As they adjusted, he saw her form more and more clearly. She was facing him, her torso pulled back a couple of inches from his, but her lower half was flush with his. She was a rare beauty and his plans to ask her to marry him last night had been derailed. They had become so involved in the private celebration of her birthday that they had exhausted each other and fell asleep before he could ask. He had a speech planned, was actually going traditional and getting down on one knee even…

Somehow, asking her to marry him as they lay in bed, naked and needing showers didn't seem nearly as romantic. Maybe he should wait, pick another night, do it proper. He'd have to let Jon know it didn't happen, so he didn't spill the beans and ruin everything. Truthfully, since Trip had manufactured the ring for her, he had felt the urge to tell someone about his plans and Jon had been the man for that.

T'Pol's eyes fluttered open and she looked at him with a deep contentment on her face.

"Good morning," Trip smiled at her.

"How long have you been awake?" T'Pol asked.

"Just a few minutes," Trip said quietly. He loved these moments in the dark between them, she seemed her most open to him and he felt almost as if he could sense her enjoyment of them as well.

"What time is it?" T'Pol asked.

"05:00," Trip said as he ran a soft finger down her exposed arm.

"We fell asleep," T'Pol said quietly.

"We did," Trip said with a smirk. "At least our heads were at the same end of the bed when that happened."

"That is fortunate," T'Pol said. "Because I don't think I would have enjoyed waking to your feet."

"Hardy har har," Trip chuckled.

"I enjoyed last night immensely," T'Pol said as she stretched slightly.

"I did as well," Trip smiled down at her.

She knew the question that had been on his mind all last night and suddenly felt his internal debate about asking her now or later. She also knew she needed to talk with him about some other serious issues related to them before he asked that question.

"Trip, do you ever sense me?" T'Pol asked.

He looked at her confused.

"For over a year, I have been noting a partial bond forming between us, but it appears to be only one-sided and that is concerning for me," T'Pol explained further.

"I love you," Trip said clearly. "There's nothing one-sided about…unless you feel differently or…"

"A bond is different," T'Pol explained. "I don't doubt our feelings for each other."

"Okay," Trip said as he continued to look at her perplexed.

"Vulcan mates sometimes form a telepathic bond with each other over time, and with contact," T'Pol explained.

"Wait, is that that thing Major Hayes was talking about?" Trip asked.

"Yes," T'Pol nodded. "I thought I would never experience this because I had mated with a human, but it appears I have bonded to you and you cannot bond with me."

"How do I do that?" Trip asked.

"Most of it is naturally occurring, but a stronger bond can be achieved with contact, meditation…"

"Darlin, you know how that went," Trip sighed.

"Yes, I remember," T'Pol sighed as well.

"So, how do you know that you have bonded with me?" Trip asked, his brows knitted together.

T'Pol shifted uncomfortably. She was about to reveal something that he wouldn't necessarily like, or even appreciate that she hadn't shared with him. And, honestly, she felt guilty for knowing his thoughts and feelings and not telling him.

"I can hear your thoughts…. sense your feelings," T'Pol said. "At first, I thought it was just because of my feelings for you and our close relationship. But then, I started to know specific things, hear you even in my head."

"What am I thinking right now?" Trip asked.

"This is fucked," T'Pol replied deadpan.

"Holy shit," Trip said. "You didn't think…you didn't think I should know that nothing was…that none of my thoughts were private?"

"I do feel guilty for my intrusion and I have made attempts to block you, but none have been very…eventful."

"How long?" Trip asked.

"Sixteen months and six days," T'Pol said. "Since I started to know something was happening. But just the last three months and ten days have your thoughts and feelings been perfectly clear."

"You've been sad these last few months," Trip said as he started to put the pieces together.

"A half-formed bond is incredibly dangerous," T'Pol said. "I was researching possible outcomes and…"

"Dangerous how?" Trip asked, suddenly scared.

"It can drive the one bonded mate to insanity," T'Pol said. "Or overload the neural cortex and create brain damage or an aneurysm causing death or…"

"Okay, none of those sound like options I like," Trip said as he placed a hand on her hip and squeezed slightly. "What do we need to do?"

"I think our only option is to have the bond severed," T'Pol said, a deep sadness wafted over him.

"But you don't want that?"

T'Pol looked at him strangely. "It's not a matter of want."

"But you really don't want that," Trip emphasized.

T'Pol knitted her eyebrows together.

"How do you know that?"

"Darlin, I can sense your strong feelings across the ship some days," Trip said with a smile. "I didn't realize it was anything to do with a bond or…"

"Wait, you sense me?" T'Pol asked, shocked.

"I can hear you sometimes too," Trip said. "Most of the time I just think I'm insane."

"My voice? You can hear my voice in your head?" T'Pol asked, trying to temper her elation.

"Yeah, just stupid things like 'Trip, do you hear me?' or sexually provocative things that I know you'd never actually say, so I was sure my mind was making them up."

"Sexually provocative?" T'Pol asked.

"Now, you think I'm nuts," Trip said as he shook his head.

"No, I have been…testing you," T'Pol hedged. "I have said some very out of character things in an attempt to get your attention. But I have not noticed a change in your thoughts or behaviour."

"So, you really were saying you wanted to 'suck my hairy balls until they were blue'?" Trip asked astonished.

"Among other things," T'Pol agreed quietly as she looked down.

"Holy shit," Trip gasped. "All that was actually you?"

"It was," T'Pol said softly as she still looked down.

Trip raised her chin with his finger and looked her in the eye.

"None of those things are something you should feel embarrassed about," Trip said softly. "You were trying to shock me, it seems."

"I was," T'Pol said with a slight smirk.

"Well, goal achieved darlin," Trip chuckled. "Does this mean it's not an incomplete bond?"

"It's more complete than I thought, but, it's still incomplete," T'Pol said, her mind running head of herself.

"So, what can we do to complete it?" Trip said.

"I don't know if a human can," T'Pol said, honestly.

"Well, this human would like to try," Trip said. "Because, I don't want an insane or dead wife."

Her eyes suddenly flicked toward him.

"You know what I was planning, don't pretend after rooting around in my head, you didn't," Trip warned.

"I'm sorry," T'Pol said, honestly. "I did attempt to block but was unable to do it for more than a few minutes at a time. It drained me of a lot of energy to keep a block in place throughout the day."

"Was that when you had that flu?" Trip asked.

"I had been blocking you most of the day for three days and it drained me of all my energy reserves," T'Pol said. "I learned quickly that I couldn't continue to do that."

"I don't like that lack of privacy, that's for sure," Trip said as she rubbed his chin. "But I guess we don't have much choice."

"We could seek to sever the bond," T'Pol offered. "I know this is a strange concept for you. On Vulcan this is a relationship that is sought and revered but on Earth…"

"I don't think I want to do that," Trip said, honestly. "You have so little of your culture left. You can't go to Vulcan, you'll never be able to participate in family events or…well, anything. And I have humans and our rituals all around me everyday. I think the least I can do is try and make this bond work for you. And, if after trying we can't get it working, then we'll consider severing it because I'd rather have you with me and healthy then a bond. Sound like a deal?"

T'Pol leaned forward and kissed him hungrily on the lips. She knew he had no idea what he'd said and the significance of it to her. But he had just made her the happiest woman on this ship.

"Thank you," she said as he pulled back.

"No more secrets?" Trip asked.

"None," T'Pol agreed.

"Will you still send me dirty talk?" He asked with a smirk.

T'Pol quirked an eyebrow. "Only if you're good."

Trip chuckled and nodded.

"Well, let me show you how good I can be," he said as he ducked his head under the sheet that lay over them and slithered down her body. She felt his mouth encounter her and her fingers scraped against the sheet.

XXX

Phlox walked into his quarters and looked at Amanda sleeping soundly on their bed with Entta against her, their beautiful daughter. Amanda's pregnant belly was swollen with their second child and he felt both elated at his fortune and pain at the misfortune of others.

"Phlox?" She asked groggily.

"Shhh," Phlox said softly. "I didn't mean to wake you, I just wanted to…"

He didn't know how to finish that sentence. Check on you? Make sure Entta was still alive? Make sure the baby inside Amanda was fine? Just listen to them breathe as one as they slept?

"What's the matter?" Amanda asked as she carefully disengaged herself from Entta and turned to face him.

"Hoshi and Daniel have lost Akio," Phlox said, trying to not allow the pain he personally felt about the loss enter into his voice.

"What?" Amanda said, a little loudly.

"Shhh," Phlox cautioned. "I just needed to see that you and Entta were alright, I shouldn't have woken you and…"

"Oh my god, how? How?" Amanda asked as she grasped her swollen belly and looked at their sleeping, breathing daughter.

"I just did the autopsy and…"

"Oh honey," Amanda said as she pulled him into her arms and hugged him tight.

"It's my job," Phlox said softly.

"It doesn't make it any easier," Amanda said quietly.

"He had a tiny tear in a heart valve," Phlox said. "I didn't see it, none of the tests showed…none of the scanners…"

"It's not your fault," Amanda said clearly as she pulled back and looked at him.

"I should have…"

"Shhh," she said as she placed a palm on his cheek. "Sometimes things happen."

"I feel responsible," Phlox said.

"But you aren't," Amanda said as she met his eyes. "You said it yourself, it didn't show up anywhere."

"Yes, but…"

"No," Amanda said firmly. "You are the best doctor they could have. If you couldn't save him, no one could. Know that."

Phlox looked at her for a long time, saying nothing.

"How are they?"

"How do you think?"

Amanda nodded and looked back toward their sleeping daughter.

"Is Toru…"

"Fine," Phlox said. "I sedated both parents and they are being monitored. Kim is taking care of Toru and…and I should get back."

"Bring Toru here," Amanda said. "They need some time and…and they know I'll take the best care of him."

"Are you sure?"

"I am," Amanda nodded.

"You take care of them," Amanda said as she straightened her back. "And I'll snuggle him so much he won't have time to miss his brother."

Phlox leaned down and kissed her cheek.

"Thank you," he said quietly.

Amanda nodded and watched him leave.

XXX