I woke up the next morning with an immense feeling of guilt, hanging like a dark cloud over my head. I felt so bad about the way I had acted towards Deidara and Hidan. I knew it had been for me, and I was sure the Taichi and Rin had deserved it. Nevertheless, the hatred and bloodlust on their faces had terrified me, that fear wasn't something I could quickly forget. I heard a soft knock on my door and called out for them to come in.

Deidara opened the door, "Hey…" he said softly, looking intently at me for signs of fear.

"Hi…" I murmured my reply.

"Look, about yesterday, un…" I smiled faintly at him.

"Hey! Sasori, she's up at fucking last!" Hidan burst into the room, bouncing over to sit on my bed. Apparently forgetting yesterdays massacre.

"Oh good, I need to tell her about our plans." Sasori muttered as he wandered in, sitting next to Deidara, who threw me a pained glance. I was almost glad the others had interrupted. Almost, but not quite.

"Ok, so we know today is your birthday-" Sasori started,

"We're having a party!" Hidan interrupted him. A huge smile instantly spread over my face, regardless of how dejected Deidara looked. I had never really had a party before because of a lack of you know, people to invite. Excitement ran through my veins.

"Thank you thank you thank you!" I squealed hugging them all. I winced in pain each time, I was still pretty cut up, but managed to hide it. I didn't want them to worry about me. Well, I did, I liked that they worried about me, but I didn't want them to know I was hurting.

"Well, we'll be going, you get yourself ready… oh by the way, we brought back your bags, Hidan found them in that… house…" Sasori told me "They're in that cupboard." he pointed to the tall unit next to my window.

It was so nice to be back in my room. I know I hadn't been there long but it was home. The big window above the head of my dark wood bed, the matching desk and mirror opposite the door, the beautiful colours; forest green and white… I hadn't realised how much I loved it until now. I suppose a week in a disgusting shed does that to you. I strolled over to the cupboard and opened it. Sure enough, there were my bags. I got them down and began to unpack. My new clothes, mostly they were similar to the ones I usually wore: green shorts with the hips cut out, a netting tank top with a black crop top over it. And plenty of wrist bands and bracelets. I was happy to notice my tattoo hadn't been ruined either. It looks like a garter on my left leg, but it's actually ink. Anyway, I had seen a dress. I don't normally like dresses all that much but this one I could not resist. And so I bought it. It was dark green, mid thigh length, flared at the waist. A low neckline and open back. It was pretty simple but I loved it. Obviously I would be wearing that tonight. Next my art things. I had plenty of space to keep the easel set up all the time but right now I just wanted to paint outside. I carried my things outside and set up, preparing to paint a landscape, as Deidara walked outside. He didn't notice me and after a while started training. It was captivating to watch. Explosion after explosion, each one so very different from the last, and all so beautiful. Then I knew what I really wanted to paint.

I was nearly finished, just putting the finishing touches on a few birds in the cloudless blue sky when I heard someone approach me from behind.

"That's very, interesting." Itachi's cold voice came from behind me. "Why would you want to paint him?" he said him like it was some disgusting curse. The hate apparently worked both ways.

"I want to paint him, Itachi, because I find him an interesting subject. I like how I'm painting something that's so fleeting, and yet this picture will probably outlive me." I replied snappily, I normally got on ok with Itachi but when he talked about Deidara like that I couldn't stand him. I just didn't understand what he had against him, it seemed the closer I got to Deidara, the further apart he and Itachi drifted. I didn't want to cause a rift between them, but I didn't see what I could do to stop it…

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you." He apologised.

"Ooh, the great Itachi, saying sorry?" I laughed, no longer in a mood with him, he came and stood beside me, watching Deidara for a moment.

"It is good though, honestly." he said sincerely.

"Thank you"

"Ooh, the great Sora, saying thank you?" he imitated my tone, making me grin. I punched him gently on the arm; he hit me back and ran. I chased after him, running through the long grass, tripping and laughing, enjoying the sun on my back.

I was so close to him, just a few more steps. I stretched out my hand to grab the back of his top, but instantaneously Deidara was in front of me.

"What're you doing, un?" he asked me,

"I was catching Itachi, that is, before you stopped me."

"Yes but why?"

"I'll show you." I grabbed his hand and tugged him along with me, receiving bitter glares from Itachi. I ran with him to my painting and skidded to a halt, almost falling over. I stood back from it for a moment, looking at my work. Deidara caught up.

"Here it is."

"Here what is? Ooh, I thought you agreed with me on art, un." he huffed.

"Oh I do, but I love painting, and what better to paint than your b-e-a-utiful self?" I told him, a smile lighting up my face.

"Its pretty good, un." he told me, I smiled at him and he smirked back. Itachi was walking by and muttered something that sounded like 'bloody lovebirds'. I giggled but Deidara just glared. I wished they would try to get on with each other but there was about as much hope of that as there was of Zetsu becoming vegetarian: I.E. not going to happen. I heard Pein's voice calling my name and looked up at Deidara.

"I'd better go."

"Yeah…" he smiled sadly.

I ran into the base with my easel and paints, calling to Pein that I would just be a minute. As I darted through the living room Sasori looked up, smiled and looked down to his newest puppet again. Those things fascinate me. I flung open the door of my room and hurriedly set up my things again before running back out and to Pein's office. I knocked on the door and he told me to come in. He told me that I would begin my training tomorrow, but for today I could rest. Konan had told him what had happened to me, she was the only person I told about the rape, as she would be least angry and most understanding. The rest I couldn't really hide.

After I had a quick snack (tiramisu! I love whoever it was that made that), having no food for almost the past six days had made me hungry all the time, I went back to my room to get ready. I walked into the bathroom and started to run a bath. I had one last night but I still felt dirty, just having been in the same room as those men made me feel disgusting… I let myself sink in, feeling blissful as my body was submerged in the warmth and comfort of the hot water. Rose and marshmallow bubbles engulfed me while I lay in the bath and washed my hair. Eventually I stepped out of the bath and wrapped myself up in a towel, beginning to get ready.

It was almost half past five by the time I walked down the steps and into the living room. It had been transformed, there were decorations everywhere and music was playing loudly. As soon as I was seen everyone shouted happy birthday, I genuinely felt like I had never been so happy.

We were all dancing and I was having more fun than I ever had, at least it sure felt that way. The music was great - apparently Kakuzu's choice, which I wasn't expecting and everyone was enjoying themselves, everything was perfect. My favourite song (by Panic! At the Disco of course) came on I forgot any inhibitions and danced for real, grabbing the person nearest me to dance with. It was Deidara. I looked up and our eyes met, making me blush. He looked so shocked I couldn't help but laugh.

"Why so surprised?" I asked him as our bodies pressed close together.

"Well, why me? Why not Itachi or Hidan, un?"

"You were closest." I lied, I had known who it was, but tried to convince myself otherwise. He mumbled something about needing a drink and wandered off, leaving me to dance with Kisame. I couldn't help wishing he hadn't. I really liked being with him. Eventually at eleven I went to get another drink - cider, and found Deidara standing arguing with Itachi about something or other. As soon as they saw me they hurriedly stopped talking and glanced worriedly at me.

Deidara came to stand next to me, "Come for a walk, un?"

"Sure." I said, barely suppressing a grin. I didn't care what it was about. I was slightly drunk and it was with him. It was going to be wonderful even if all we talked about was about Miku.

Deidara led me outside and to the edge of a large pool, the moon reflected in its surface.

"Wow." I breathed, taken aback at the beauty of it. Deidara glanced at me briefly, doing a double take as he noticed my newly revealed cuts and bruises. Thankfully he didn't bring it up. We stood side by side, staring at the lake for what seemed like years, some of the nicest years of my life, before he tore his gaze away and stepped towards me.

"I'm sorry about yesterday, un." He wrapped his arms around me tightly, like he would never let go and bent his neck to rest his face in the hollow of my shoulder and inhaled deeply. I completely froze. He had hugged me before but not like this, before it had been only to protect me, but this was different… his arms tightened making me flinch.

"Ow! Dei-Deidara? Stop, please stop, it hurts." I pleaded. But wishing I didn't have to.

"I know Sora, I'm sorry, un. But cant we stay like this for a few minutes? Please? Just bare it for me, un." he mumbled into my neck. I stayed in silence. "Did it hurt? What they did to you, un?"

"Yes," I said softly, remembering the pain I went through. "the whip hurt most. That was really bad."

"Whip? They had a whip, un?" I could hear the anger in his voice, see the tension on his face as he tried to stay calm. He hugged me even closer, wearing a sad yet angry expression.

"Deidara, be careful please! That hurts!" I winced, the cuts and bruises throbbing.

"Sora… I, I don't know how to say this, un." he stumbled over his words.

I smiled at him reassuringly, "Go on."

"This will be easier, un…" he muttered and in one swift movement gently lifted my chin and pulled me even closer to him than I thought possible. Before I knew what was happening his lips had claimed mine in a tender, beautiful kiss. There was a gentleness to it I didn't know he possessed, and I melted into it. We stood on the edge of that moonlit pool for an eternity, our bodies entwined. It felt so right, I never wanted it to end but eventually Deidara broke away and rested his forehead on mine,

"I love you, Sora, un." He smiled.

"I love you too, Deidara." I smiled back at him, neither of us really heard the bushes rustle and someone muttering angrily.