Maybe she couldn't do this.

It was 45 minutes later when she was finishing up her omelet, that the bell on the front door chimed.

One of the waitresses spoke to the person, but no one answered her. Romana's back was turned away from the door and she dare not turn around to see who'd come in. Romana already knew who it was anyway. She would have known even if she hadn't seen the look on Sarah Jane's face.

Sarah Jane gave her a sympathetic pat on the shoulder as she stood to walk over to the new arrival. Romana still didn't look behind her. Her hearts were beating a mile a minute.

Oh, Rassilon....she didn't think it would be so hard.

She pushed her still unfinished omelet away from her, not being able to bring herself to eat anything else. Her stomach felt like it was doing flips right beneath her skin. That couldn't be healthy. Maybe this regeneration was faulty.

"Romana?" A voice asked; disbelief, relief, and sadness colored the question.

Romana swallowed. There was a lump forming in her throat. She just couldn't seem to look up at him. It turned out she didn't have to because the man took a seat in the booth where Sarah Jane had been sitting moments before.

His eyes circled through several emotions so quickly that Romana couldn't catch them all. She wondered if resentment had been one of those she'd failed to recognize.

"Doctor." Romana forced a smile and tried to look calm as she looked him up and down, "My, you certainly are 'a tall streak of nothing'."

"Is it really you?" He reached out a hand, and yet seemed almost too scared to touch her, lest he find out she wasn't really there.

Romana looked away from him, "It is."

"How?" He still didn't seem convinced.

"Dalek Caan."

The dalek's name seemed explanation enough for the Doctor.

"Why would he do that?" He wondered allowed.

"I don't know. Cause he felt like it? Because Davros asked him to? Daleks aren't exactly the most stable and coherent individuals to start with. Ones that have been driven insane by the time vortex are even less so." Romana replied cuttingly.

Her bitter retort made the Doctor to lean back in his seat as though he'd been slapped. Romana wrung her hands nervously under the table.

Where was Sarah Jane?

Romana wondered if the woman had left to give them some privacy or if she was standing right behind her listening to every word. Romana didn't look to see. Something in her hoped she was listening, ready to whisk her off it it got too hard to bare.

When had she become so needy?

Sarah Jane was hundreds of year younger than her...but sometimes it was easy to forget. She wanted to go back home with Sarah. Go back to pretending.

Romana stared intently at her hands beneath the table. They were white as ash, her face was probably the same. She didn't think she'd be this terrified to face him again.

The Doctor finally reached a hand across the table his hand grazing her cheek. Romana tensed and the Doctor immediately retracted.

"S-Sorry."

"Sorry?" Romana laughed painfully, "Nothing you could do to me could possibly be deserving of an apology. I'm the one...I should be..." she looked at him.

He looked like hell. She imagined she didn't look much better.

Romana drew a hand through her long and unruly blonde hair, "I'm the one who's sorry. I shouldn't have made you..."

"You didn't make me do anything, Romana! We both knew that it had to be done." The Doctor's eyes were sincere and he reached out the touch her again.

Romana jerked away from his hand again, "Did it? The way I see it, I was ripped out of the Time War...by a dalek! A dalek that shouldn't have existed outside of the Time Lock. I..."

Romana slammed the table with her hands and received some rather pointed looks from the other customers. The Doctor looked on the verge of tears. That was a new one... an aftereffect of the war, no doubt.

It had made him ultra-emotional, just like it had her.

"I want you to hate me, damn you! Resent me! Because at least that would be an appropriate response!"

The Doctor took both of her hands in his, and Romana clenched her jaw.

"I can't hate you, Romana. Never." He waited until she was looking him in the eyes before added sincerely, "It's not your fault."

Romana was crying now. She was too tired to work up the energy to be embarrassed by such a show of weakness.

"Thank you for saying so Doctor, but it is. I was President...and the responsibility lies with me. I should be dead, with the rest of them. The captain goes down with the ship."

The Doctor's grip tightened around her petite hands, protectively. "Don't say that!" He practically shrieked, "You're not dead! You're here, now." He looked at her hopefully. "With me."

Romana laughed and brushed the tears away from her eyes, "My Doctor, you've certainly turned into a sentimental old fool, haven't you?"

The Doctor pulled at his ear, "Yeah...I suppose I have."

"Oi! Are you two done making up, yet? I still wanted to go to Feldspoon sometime this century! Or next century, it doesn't matter. Just as long as I don't have to wait for it to happen! Get a move on!"

Romana's head spun round to see Donna shouting from the diner entrance where Sarah Jane was looking on with a satisfied smile. Romana laughed lightly under her breath and looked back at the Doctor, who was grinning from ear to ear at Donna.

The Doctor looked back to Romana. His faced sobered.

"Thank you. For Donna. When I heard she'd...I..didn't know what I was going to find when I got here."

"Yes. Well, no need to thank me." Romana sighed, "And honestly, did you even pay attention at the Academy? That was the poorest excuse for a mind wipe I've ever bared witness to."

The Doctor looked abashed, "Well, I..."

"And a Time Lord Human metacrisis? And that former companion of yours, Harkness?" Romana folded her arms across her chest, "I can't leave you alone in the Universe for ten seconds..."

The Doctor gave a dopey grin, "It's good to have you back."