Disclamer: Little mermaid belongs to Hans Cristian Anderson, but the happier version we know and love belongs to Disney, Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto
ItaNaru Little Merman
Chapter 10: Shikamaru's kitchen adventure.
(Warning: Hidan Language!)
At the castle Naruto was taken aside by a woman with blue hair in a bun, and put in a tub of warm water with lots of bubbles.
The woman, whose name was Konan, poured water over his hair.
"Washed up from a shipwreck, oh you poor dear. We'll have you feeling better in no time."
She picked up Naruto's "clothes" and took them away.
"I'll er get these washed for you."
Konan threw the sail into the wash not realising Shikamaru was still in it.
Shikamaru had fallen asleep, he woke when he was thrown into soapy water.
Shikamaru came up spluttering and caughing.
Some women grabbed the cloth and started washing, they were gossiping about the knew boy.
"Well you must have at least heard aabout this boy."
"No."
"He dosn't speak, but he is quite a handsome young boy, his hair is a nice shade of blond and his eyes resemble the sea. The only unusual thing about his appearance is the marks on his cheeks."
"You know, it's a shame he's not a girl."
Shikamaru slipped into the pocket of a shirt and then was put on the line.
He slipped into the nearest window.
"What a troublesome day."
Shikamaru rubbed his temples then looked up and saw a sight that would haunt him until the day he died.
He saw a fish whose head had been cut of by a cleaver, he saw other sea creatures boiling and frying, and then his eyes widend as he saw a plate of stuffed crabs.
Shikamaru felt like feinting but he knew he had to get out and find Naruto.
In the dining room, Sarutobi sat on a chair with a pipe. Itachi was by the window looking out at the sun wich was setting over the sea. Sasuke sat in his chair, his usual scowl in place.
"Oh Itachi, be reasonable. Nice young boys don't swim around rescuing people in the middle of the ocean then flutter of into the oblivion like..."
Itachi turned to him. "I'm telling you, he was real. I'm going to find that boy."
Itachi turned back to the window.
"And I'm going to marry him." Itachi said quietly to himself.
Everyone looked up when they heard Konan laugh.
"Come on sweety, don't be shy."
She ushered Naruto into the room. Naruto stepped into the light and Itachi's eyes widened.
Naruto stepped into the room wearing a suit that fitted him perfectly, it was deep blue and had black pants and a white shirt undernieth. Naruto smiled shyly.
Sarutobi stood up. "Well isn't he handsome."
Itachi smiled at him. "You look nice."
Naruto blushed and smiled even wider if it were possible.
Sarutobi pulled the chair between Sasuke and Itachi out.
Naruto sat in it and Itachi pushed it in.
Naruto looked around the table. He saw many things he had seen before from his collection.
Naruto picked up the fork and looked at it.
Sarutobi looked at him. "Yes that fork has such nice craftsman ship dosn't it?"
Naruto looked at him in confusion.
'Fork? Wait till I get hold of that Pervy-Toad. Wonder what else he miss named.'
Naruto saw Sarutobi's pipe and wanted to see if it made music.
Sarutobi saw him eyeing the pipe and handed it to him.
"Do you like it? It is rather a fine..."
Naruto blew on it and coverd Sasuke's face in soot.
Sasuke glared death at Naruto who smiled a sheepish smile. 'Okay so he was wrong about that too. I'm gonna...' Naruto and everyone looked at Itachi, who started to laugh, in shock.
Konan came into the room.
"Itachi, I think that's the first time you've ever laughed in years."
Sarutobi looked at her. "Konan, what's for dinner?"
"Oh you're gonna love it. Chef Hidan has been fixing his specialty: Stuffed crab."
Naruto grimaced at the thought of eating crab and felt sick to his stomach.
Itachi stared at him curiously.
In the kithchen, Shikamaru looked around from his hiding place to see a man's butt sticking out of a cabnet. He was singing somthing as he pulled out a bowl of freash, dead, fish. He had slicked back silver hair and purple-pink eyes and a blood stained apron, he also wore a necklace with an upside down triangle in a circle. He started to sing in a french accent.
Le poissons,
Le poissons,
How I love le poissons
He pulled out a fish and set it on the counter, then pulled out a cleaver.
Love to chop and to serve little fish.
He chopped the fish. Shikamaru closed his eyes in horror.
First I cut off their heads and I pull out their bones Ah mes oui, savez toujours delice,
He did everything as he sang. Shikamaru felt like he was gonna be sick.
Le poissons le poissons hehehe hahah,
With the cleaver I chop them in two.
Shikamaru tried to run but soon came to the edge of the fish killer's work space. In order to get to freedom he had to cross open counter.
I pull out what's inside, and I serve it up fried,
Cause I love little fishes don't you?
He fried up some fish guts and then put them on a platter. Shikamaru grabbed some lettuce and hid under it, takeing slow, careful steps.
Here's something for tempting the pallet,
Perpared in the classic techneque,
First you pound the fish flat, with a mallet,
Then you slash through the skin,
Give the belly a slice,
Then you rub some salt in, cause that makes it taste nice.
Hidan picked up the peice of lettuce and saw the crab benieth it.
"Oh my Jashin. I seem to have missed one."
He picked up Shikamaru who tried to remain limp.
Oh Jashin what is this?
How on earth could I miss,
Such a sweet, little, succulent crab?
Oh damn what a loss,
Here we go In the sauce.
Now some flour I think just a dash.
He threw Shikamru in the sauce. Shikamaru shook it off as Hidan raised his hand and threw some flour on him. Shikamaru sneezed then Hidan picked him up again.
Now I stuff you with bread!
Don't hurt cause your dead,
And you're certainly lucky you are.
He stuffed hidan with bread bits lettuce and spices. Shikamaru gagged and caughed on them.
Cause it's gonna be hot,
In my big silver pot,
Tout -aloo man poisson au reviour.
Shikamaru nearly landed in the boiling water, the steam washed off the flour coating and then he jumped out.
Hidan who was about to prepare more fish delecasies, turned in confusion. He picked the "dead" crab up with a prong, and brought him up to eye sight.
(Warning: HIDAN'S LANGUAGE BLOW! If offended please skip. Thank you. If you don't mind/care about strong language please continue.)
"What the hell is this?"
Shikamaru acted quickly. He used his claws and pinched Hidan's nose.
"OW FUCK!" He screamed. Shikamaru landed on the pot on the stove. Hidan went after him but his hand landed on the flaming, hot, stove itself.
"YEOW! FUCK FUCK FUCKING HELL!"
He knocked the pan on his foot crushing it and spilling hot grese on him resulting in more curses.
Shikamaru ran under the table to hide from the crazy, swearing, fish murderer as he threw knives at him.
The knives missed. Hidan looked under the table muttering under his breath. Shikamaru appeared at the top of the table and knocked the bowl of sauce on his head.
That was the last staw for Hidan, he raised a cleaver and cut straight through the wooden counter in one, swift, blow.
He looked around hoping to see the bloody remains of the crab but saw nothing, looking around he saw Shikamaru running towards the shelves where the dishes were kept.
Hidan ran screaming bloody murder, and lept at it, his eyes filled with a promise for Shikamaru's slow, painful death.
Everyone in the dining room looked up at the sound of the crashes that could be heard round the world.
Itachi looked at Konan. "What was that?"
Konan looked at him.
"I think I had better go see what Hidan is up to."
And she ran from the room. Naruto hoped everything was okay.
In the kitchen everything was a mess, things were being thrown about and broken, Hidan was looking for Shikamaru. Hidan's clothes were in ruin and he was still shouting curses.
"Come out you little son of a bitch and fight like a man!"
Just then Konan entered the room. Her eyes widened at the sight of the kitchen.
"HIDAN!"
Hidan bumped his head on the counter and pulled out from under it grabbing his head.
"OW FUCKING HELL!"
Konan glared daggers at him.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"But there was this little fucking crab and...he...I was just...but it...sorry."
He smiled sheepishly.
Konan grabbed the tray that had the food on it and glared at Hidan before stalking off muttering somthing about killing the bastard in his sleep.
(LANGUAGE ENDS HERE! THANK YOU FOR SKIPPING)
In the dining room Sarutobi was talking to Itachi who was staring at Naruto who smiled back. Sasuke was glaring at Naruto still.
"You know, Itachi, I think our guest might like a tour of the kingdom."
Konan entered the room still muttering, and placed the platters at everyones palce.
Itachi looked up at Sarutobi.
"What? Did you say somthing Sarutobi?"
Sarutobi looked at him with some anoyance.
"You can't spend all your time moping about, you're not Sasuke, you need to get out." Sasuke turned his glare to Sarutobi.
Sarutobi started to lift the lid. Naruto glanced at his plate and saw Shikamaru. Naruto's eyes widened.
Shikamaru lifted a claw to his lips in a shushing motion. Naruto looked down at his own plate and lifted the lid and motioned Shikamaru to his platter.
Shikamaru as quickly and quietly as he could, scurried to Naruto's plate.
"I think that's a great idea, if he's interested."
Naruto slammed the lid down as Itachi turned to him.
"Would you like to join me on a tour of my kingdom tomarrow?"
Naruto nodded happily. Sarutobi smiled.
"Wonderful, let's eat before this crab wanders off my plate."
He was about to cut into his crab only to find that his crab had indeed wandered off.
Naruto had a bit of a difficult time getting through dinner but they eventualy found somthing he'd eat and he enjoyed it.
Naruto was shown to a geust room that had a great veiw of the sea and the rooftop gardens. He was also given a light blue night shirt to wear.
Naruto was in the window looking down at Itachi who was leaning against the railing of the gardens looking out at the sea.
Naruto smiled. Itachi looked up at his window and also smiled and gave a small wave to the blond who blushed and waved back before retreating to his room.
Itachi watched him go. Eversince the boy had come into his life he felt happier. But he could still not forget the boy with the voice who saved him.
Naruto was smiling at the thought of speniding a whole day with Itachi.
Shikamaru was pulling the bread, lettuce and spices out of his shell. Naruto had a great first day. Shikamaru had the worst day of his life.
"How troublesome, I hope you appreaciate what I'm going through for you Naruto."
Naruto looked at him and smiled cutely.
Shikamaru sighed.
"Okay, we've got to come up with a plan to get that boy to kiss you."
Naruto was trying out the bed. He sank into the matteress that was very soft. Naruto loved the feel, for once he was in a soft, warm, dry bed. Naruto jhumped around on it a bit before laying down and falling into a deep, comfortable sleep.
Shikamaru was thinking of how to get Itachi to kiss Naruto.
"You've got to look your best, give him your best smile, bat your eyes..."
He saw that Naruto had fallen asleep.
He shook his head. "How troublesome."
However he smiled when he saw how happy Naruto looked as he slept.
Shikamaru climbed on to the pillow and fell asleep as well.
In the shallow part of the water Iruka and Kiba were trying to get comfortable.
"Hey Iruka?"
Iruka opened one eye. "Hmm?"
"What are we going to do about the king? Surely he's noticed Naruto's gone."
Iruka thought. "Well most likley, he'll send out search parties. They probably won't think to look for Naruto here but we should probably keep an eye out. If they do find us we'll lead them away from Naruto. Hopefully they'll think mabey he ran away from trhe kingdom."
Iruka and Kiba then settled down, Kiba grabbed Akamaru and held him close.
They fell asleep wondering how Naruto was doing.
While Naruto slept peacefully in the human world, in the sea world nobody slept.
Minato was in the throne room swim-pacing worriedly. Naruto had not come home for the past twenty-four hours.
He looked out the window. The seahorse came in. Minato looked at him anxiously.
"Any sign of them?" He deeply hoped for good news.
"No your majesty. We've serched evrywhere we've found no trace of your son or Iruka."
Minato sighed. "Well keep looking. Leave no shell unturned, no coral unexplored. Let no one in this kingdom sleep until he's safe at home!"
The seahorse bowed, he was tired from searching for the lost prince, he wanted to sleep but knew Minato would not be satisfied untill they found Naruto.
He swam off to tell everyone to keep searching.
Minato sat in his throne. He feared he had chased away Naruto with his anger, the guilt he felt was eating away at him. He put his head in his hands and started to sob softly.
"Oh, what have I done? What have I done?"
Naruto was lost to him, forever.