Nikki proudly stepped into the friendly local pub, the Saturday after her first payday after starting work for Women in Prison. Helen followed and let her buy them a round of drinks. She knew what an important day this was for Nikki, the tangible fruits of her hard work and her first proper step into the working world. She put her foot on the bar rail, ordered two vodkas and lemons and took the drinks
"This is what I dreamed of, Helen. I can look anyone in the eye."
"You always did, Nikki." Helen grinned which made Nikki laugh.
They were closeted round a rich red mahogany table in a corner of the pub, content for the world to go on round them. Nikki felt content with herself, having all the confidence in the world. She had got stuck into her research with ravenous enthusiasm with a few pointers from Helen. She had asserted her authority immediately by her first visit to Larkhall, which had worked out just as Helen said that it would. She had felt like a Hollywood star as all her dear friends greeted her with rapturous jubilation It gave her immense satisfaction to brush aside scowling but chastened Fenner in a brief battle of words, which she had won with ridiculous ease and had headed off to open nehptiations over his head. She had gone on to drive a hard bargain with the new Governing Governor with 'call me Neil ' Neil Grayling. He struck her as not a patch on Helen, as slippery a customer as she had ever encountered, with cold blue eyes, an addict of the latest management 'buzz words' and an unchanging, insincere smile. Karen Betts had accompanied him and kept a grave expression on her face. Nikki had managed to set out her stall and negotiated improvements in facilities for visiting. Friendly but firm did the trick.
They were sitting in a dreamy haze when there were loud voices from the door of the pub. Helen glanced that second too long as her presence was immediately spotted. She was immediately angry and flustered about the oncoming intrusion.
"Oh God, you remember Sean, my ex. I see a couple of his friends coming over, Mark and Geoff coming over," Helen whispered.
"Hey, Helen. Long time no see," drawled the man, leaning languidly on the table. "I've meant to look you up for so long but you know what it's like. You get sidetracked. All work and no play make Jack a dull boy."
Helen avoided reproaching him for the way that she'd been dropped by all Sean's friends after she split up with him. It would give him all the wrong ideas.
"How's Sarah these days?" Helen asked tersely. Her eyes noticed an absence of a wedding ring on his finger and the same for his friend Mark. It was funny how they and Sean had that same confidence and self-assurance, as they made their way through life with effortless ease. They didn't come to the world, the world came to them. Once she might have envied them. Now she could see that it was because they had never been tested in life, like she and Nikki had. She was further disgusted by his excuses for his absence, which were transparent lies. At least Larkhall had taught her to pick out a liar and manipulator at twenty paces.
"It didn't last, unfortunately. If things had been different, we might have lasted. You get to the point of no return and you kind of drift apart. We were essentially incompatible though I never saw that at the time. Still, it gave both of us the chance to find out what we wanted out of life."
"A bit like Sean." Helen said dryly, irritated by the man's shallow philosophizing ….." though I don't really want to talk about him."
"I understand….." Geoff offered confidingly." …though it's a shame about what happened between you and Sean. Great guy. One of the best."
"So how's your love life going, Helen? I wouldn't think that you'd be unattached for long or do you just want the single life for a bit," came Mark's unsubtle intervention.
"Helen's moved on since then. She's got a partner who like her, wants a committed relationship, someone that can be relied on." Nikki interrupted with forcible politeness.
Helen stole a sideways glance at Nikki and deduced that she wanted to offer these two Prince Charmings a little more rope with which to hang themselves. She was playing a two-handed game with Nikki and who better than her?
For the first time, the two men opened up the space instead of crowding round her. Nikki could tell that it was only politeness that inhibited Helen from telling these public school smoothies to piss off. They were appraising her and made the inevitable false assumptions.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to shut you out," Geoff said insincerely." What do you do for a living?"
"I work for Women in Prison," Nikki said shortly. Though it irritated her to define herself in terms of what she did rather than who she was, it did give her a kick to say it. It gave her self-confidence a boost.
"You mean, Myra Hindley and all that?"
"Sort of, though there are a lot of women prisoners. They're not all mass murderers, you know."
It was on the tip of her tongue to say the word 'we' but restrained herself. She could tell from his eye contact that his attention was drifting in any case.
"So who is your partner, Helen?"
"Nikki. Nikki Wade."
"What does he do, this Nikki. I've never met him before among the crowd we used to hang about with," Geoff remarked, visibly ransacking his memory for faces and names.
"Short for Nicola." Nikki said dryly and with immaculate timing, Helen made a hand gesture to indicate who she was.
Nikki and Helen both marvelled at the two men's expressions. They could see the cogs in their minds slowly clicking as they tried to grapple with this unexpected reality. Their smiles turned slowly to puzzlement, as both of them looked at Helen, the woman they had known. Their gaze swivelled round to take in Nikki, at her shortish cropped hair and her smart suit and daylight dawned on them.
"Helen, you can't be……"Geoff said, his voice tailing off.
"You'd be surprised to see how the other half live. I used to run a lesbian club and it was packed out on Saturday night. I used to make a mint. Women came there in all shapes and sizes, even straight women."
The man flinched at Nikki's force of personality and smooth certainty of matters outside their experience, which they found intimidating. They couldn't pigeonhole her while Helen had thrown them by jumping out of her frame. By contrast, Helen delighted in the force of personality that was emanating from Nikki. It was pure pleasure for them to play a two handed game against their opponents with no barriers between them. This was the spirit of the woman, which she had sensed from the very beginning. Helen was content to take matters easy, ready to provide backup.
"I think it's the case of two's company, four's a crowd," Nikki concluded with a steely bright smile on her face.
"Good heavens, is this the time?" Geoff exclaimed, contriving an exaggerated look at his Rolex wristwatch and ignoring Nikki. Helen had to hand it to him the way that he duplicated the appearance of surprise so effortlessly but, then again, Sean had had that same smooth assurance.
" We'd love to stop but we've both got clients to chat up."
"I'll bet," murmured Nikki.
"We have to be going, Helen. I'll ring you sometime. Keep in touch."
"Oh yeah," Helen said listlessly. She didn't engage his eye contact or bother to summon up a false smile. Why should she?
The atmosphere smoothed out the instant the pub door closed.
"I used to go around with Sean with Tedandalice and Markandsue and Geoffandsarah," Helen articulated deliberately which made Nikki grin." Well, everyone makes mistakes in life. Needless to say when I split up with Sean, they dropped me like a hot brick. I was depicted as the cold bitch, who led him on only to jilt him."
" I get the picture. Is there anything you need to say about either of them?"
"Nothing whatsoever. They're history."
"But we're not." Exclaimed Nikki."Our lives are just beginning." If it weren't for them being in a straight pub, she would have kissed Helen full on her lips. She contented herself with sliding her hand into Helen's. It was a petty felt social restriction. Both of them could live through that after all that they'd gone through.