Title: Struggle
Let's begin with something light…
Hate, is an intense feeling of dislike. It may occur in a wide variety of contexts, from hatred of inanimate objects or animals, to hatred of other people, entire groups of people, or people in general.
[Kurapika while searching for the meaning of hate in wikipedia] LOL
Kurapika tried to slap the raven-haired man who was currently on top of her. She raised her bruised left arm and swung it forward to the man's face. Her attempt wasn't successful for the man grabbed her wrist in death grip. She hissed and glared at the man and struggled, but Kuroro's weight was overpowering her.
"Care for another round?" he huskily said as his face went closer to the blonde.
"No!" she almost shouted
Her eyes moved downward and moved her legs. She could strike Kuroro's groin by using her knee. Moving her right leg slowly – which Kuroro took as an erotic gesture- Kurapika's knee aimed the man's crotch.
Kuroro jumped off the bed and hissed. The kuruta's knee might definitely have its target if he hadn't move quickly.
"You got what you wanted!" she rasped and took a blanket that lay in one corner of the bed.
"Yeah, care for a repeat?" he insisted with a luring voice.
"No repeat" she said coldly and eyed the bloodied bedsheet.
"I know it had been painful…" Kuroro trailed off and stared at the blood stained bed and then at Kurapika
"..But didn't you like it?" he teased
"Do you want my blood to answer for you?"
She said curtly and covered herself with the blanket that was also blood stained. Kurapika feigned a cold face; she was trying her best not to look so damaged. Kuroro had been rough; he was violent to the point that his penetration became sudden and painful. But, physical pain wasn't the only one that damaged her, it was…emotional pain.
Kuroro took away the most precious thing that she could offer for the man she loved. It hurts her more that the man she loved did not even know what he had just taken from her. He wasn't aware that it was her gift for him! She was devastated to realize that she had committed this mistake!
Thinking that I loved my mortal enemy, she berated herself
Thinking that giving in will change everything between us.
She gazed at Kuroro's lustful eyes and hated it. She wanted to cry but her pride did not permit her. The blonde thought that their lovemaking would be out of love but no! It was purely out of lust! Urged by the needs of flesh!
It wasn't love Kurapika… she said to herself
Why? Because that man named Kuroro Lucifer could not love! So it wasn't love!
How stupid she were, she thought.
Missing him, aching for his touch, longing for his loving gaze…
The Kuroro that she'd thought was an illusion! She sarcastically noted to herself.
She observed the man's face, the face that she hated and loved. He was the man who played with her heart and took everything away from Kurapika. The man as cold as stone!
"You liked it! I know you did!" Kuroro sat at the edge of the bed as Kurapika crawled farther from him.
"I did~"
"You yelled at me that I should 'Go to Hell' but the moment I was inside you, you keep on moaning that I should go deeper…"
Kuroro leered at her and continued
"You're so self-contradictory Kurapika"
She was out of words. It was true, she felt pleasure and that was why she cursed herself for everything that took place. His penetration had been painful but, it became tolerable…pleasurable even, when he complied with her request to be slower.
Me and my big mouth
She closed her eyes . Regrets, Regrets. The word kept on echoing her mind.
"You…abducted me for the sole purpose of having my body right?" She opened her eyes and clarified everything.
"Well, quite true" Kuroro was brutally honest.
"You had tasted me…can I go now?" she was being equally brutal too; she was trying to detach herself from everything in order to be numb.
"No. I want more from you!" Kuroro was firm and began to crawl near her
"I don't~"
"Do I have to force you?" His voice was threatening
"You're friends~"
"Senritsu!" her eyes widened
"Exactly" Kuroro confirmed her worries
"Her life or~"
"Set her free and I am yours…" she stated with a tone that was harsh.
She would not let Kuroro take away her friends…no more sacrifices!
Kuroro frowned. He wasn't used to cutting off his sentences.
"How do I know that you'll keep your words Kuruta?" Kuroro peered at those cold-blue eyes.
"I'm not like you…I know how to keep my words…"
"Oh" She saw Kuroro trifled a face that was emotionally hurt.
He stood off the bed and opened a cabinet. Kuroro looked at Kurapika and smiled deviously, the man wasn't a good actor then for he did not manage to keep the pained look.
"What if I already released your friend?"
Kurapika looked at her aggressor's visage that was hiding something evil.
"Prove it!"
She watched the man donned in his clothes and waited for a response.
Kuroro gazed at her and then at the pieces of torn clothes in the bed. Kurapika noticed that aside from her blood staining the bed, her torn clothes made the bed suffer a mess. She wondered how it survived their session. Her observations were interrupted when Kuroro spoke…
"Wait for me and I'll bring you fresh clothes…" he said
Kurapika was about to say something when the man continued
"And then I'll prove to you that I already released her"
Kurapika rolled her eyes. She couldn't help but to antagonize the man.
That's right! Angst! Don't show him despair! She said to herself
"After that, you're mine" Kuroro said after closing the door.
She glared at the direction where Kuroro left.
There were schemes rushing in her mind. Men like Kuroro who wanted to dominate had the same weakness. Men like him enjoy a prey that is vulnerable and sensitive. Kuroro enjoys devouring her because she reacts the way he wanted her to. If she would portray a prey that did not care – cold, passive, and stoic, then Kuroro might be frustrated. Frustrated and drained more than her.
Do not give him the satisfaction of aggressing you. She convinced herself.
She would not make him feel that she was affected by everything he did to inflict her pain. She would give him frustration.
Kurapika would play mind games with him. She would avenge herself by pricking on Kuroro's weak spots. She would know what it is, and Kuroro using her would give many opportunities to know his weaknesses.
She closed her eyes and forced herself not to shed any tear. She would not permit herself feel despair, she would not allow any emotions to sway her except hatred. Hatred will be the only emotion she'll have.
Her blonde locks spread on the pillow as she let herself lay there. She gathered every emotion that she was able to get in every parcel of her being. Hatred was the only thing that Kuroro could never take away from her. She pondered and agreed to herself.
She sighed and everything went clear. Yes, Hatred.
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Author's babbling:
I've tried my best to salvage this fic, I hope it went good. [I think many will ask about the Wikipedia thing LOL]
KRS – I was not able to update before you went out of town, forgive me.
Gyo – I'm dead serious about going to Davao I hope you'll continue "Tenderly"
EA – Thanks for the flower language, like Kurapika, I don't have any clue what the flowers meant. Thanks for the ideas and your availability when I need to discuss any issues regarding Kuro x Kura.
Florallover – uhm, your suggestions and reviews make me work on things.
To all, thanks for reading Nothingness.
[Characters Sentiments]
Kurapika: Why do I have to search for the meaning of hate in Wikipedia?
Me: To quench my thirst for something funny. Albeit that scene was incongruous for this chapter…I included it…I am willing to remove that if someone will complain.
Kurapika: Well, here I am complaining!
Me: You're exempted, I'm sorry
Kuroro: If you want to write a crack fic do it somewhere else…
Me: I will eventually…