/* So I have a love/hate relationship with this chapter. I rewrote a few sections over a few times and feel like I just have to let it go as it is. There are a lot of perspective switches in this chapter (sorry for that) so hopefully it's not too confusing. Regardless, hope you enjoy and thanks for reading! */

Haruka took her time as she smashed the alarm on her clock. She was going to miss sleeping in, but having a job would help distract her from all the horrendous thoughts swirling around her head.

She dressed quietly in the solace of her room. A gentle breeze fluttered her curtains and the sounds of chirping birds nulled the silence. When she finally moved into the main part of the apartment, she was half expecting him not to be there. So when she laid eyes on the sleeping Arrancar, a sense of relief fell over her. It was strange. It wasn't relief from knowing he was staying out of trouble. He had been there long enough now for his motives to be solidified and if he wasn't going out and causing trouble now, he probably never would. No, this sense of relief came from the comfort of his company and that was much more disturbing to her.

She considered waking him, and then immediately dismissed the thought entirely. In fact, she dismissed her entire morning routine. Instead, she snuck out of the apartment and drove off towards the Urahara shop.

His eyes slid open the moment the door shut, his look somber. His mind kept slipping back to that fight, to her anger. Just why the hell was this bothering him so much? This was getting out of hand. The only possible reason why he could be spending this much time mulling over their spar was because, dare he even suggest, he was starting to care.

He pushed himself up to a stand and flug his fist towards one of the brick walls, a crack forming on contact. His head fell forward, those pale blue locks cascading into his vision. She doesn't matter. She wasn't why he was here. He can't give two shits about what happens to her. This has to end.

Clogs wasn't making good on his promise. He would find Kurosaki himself, assess the worth of that bitch boy shinigami, and then go back to Hueco Mundo. He'd throw Halibel and Nel out of his castle and take control like he was meant to. He didn't have time for these games anymore.

He might as well start his search while Ruka was out playing delivery girl. He'd just have to make sure he stayed off her radar. "Shouldn't be a problem…"

"Good morning, Akiyama-san! How was your weekend?" Urahara greeted.

"Good morning. It was fine, thank you. How was yours?" She responded with as much false cheer as she could muster. He was the last one she wanted poking into her private business. And he was a professional at poking into places he didn't belong.

"Very good, thank you. Are you ready for your first day?" He asked as he piled several boxes next to her car.

"That's a lot of boxes." She said with some skepticism.

"I did warn you that business has been booming." He chuckled.

"Well let me get started then."

"Happy delivering!"

Her day moved along uneventfully, though she learned that Urahara had far more interesting connections in the World of the Living than he would ever let on. Despite her curiosity, however, she kept contact to a minimum and knew that none of this business would be beneficial to her. She was just a simple delivery girl.

Her last delivery of the day brought her to the doorstep of a familiar name. "Kurosaki clinic?" She questioned as she approached the door. Did Urahara really send her to Ichigo Kurosaki's place? Despite that, she knew she had to make this delivery. She needed her pay before Grimmjow resorted to eating food right off the store shelves.

Her legs felt extra heavy as she knocked on the door. "Please don't let it be Kurosaki-san, please, please-" The door opened erratically, a familiar voice pulling her attention.

"Yeah, yeah, I got it!" Ichigo Kurosaki appeared with his unruly bright orange hair and a complete look of dejection. "Can I help you?"

"U-uh, I- Oh, yes! I'm sorry. I have a delivery for you from the Urahara shop." She bowed slightly while outstretching the package. Ichigo's expression immediately turned suspicious.

He stared at the package for several long moments before finally taking it. "Who are you?"

"Huh?" She looked startled as she straightened. "Oh, I'm just helping out." She averted her eyes, the guilt from lying causing a blush.

"I've never seen you before." He reiterated. She didn't know how to respond so she just stared at the flowerbed for a few moments longer. "Ah, not like it matters. I'm sure Urahara has his hands full now that he's back on good terms with Soul Society." Haruka could hear the strain behind his optimism. It was then she attempted to feel out his reishi. It was...almost nonexistent. The rumors were true. He lost everything in the battle with Aizen. He was just a normal human. The pain of that fact was permanently etched onto his face.

She attempted to bury the sympathy forming on her features. Seeing him like that was bringing forth a tremendous amount of shame. This man fought the strongest being in existence, sacrificed everything to save everyone. What had she done? She had only perpetuated the cycle. And now she had her powers back and for what? To continue her fugitive streak and to murder her lover's brother and sister?

"I must be going now." Haruka bowed once more before turning to leave.

"Wait. What's your name?"

Haruka paused, her eyes wide with surprise. "Um, It's Haruka Akiyama."

"Haruka, huh?" He smiled, his disappointment effectively buried. "Welcome to the World of the Living."

"Thanks." Haruka responded, feeling unsure.

With one last wave, Haruka was off, a ball of controlled rage bristling beneath. "Urahara, what are you up to?"

"Ah, Akiyama-san! You've returned. How was your first day of deliveries?" He was sitting on the raised floor, his legs crossed as he waved that fan in front of his face.

"Why are you lying to Grimmjow?" She asked without hesitation.

"Lying? My, my, that is some accusation, Akiyama-san." His face was satisfyingly infuriating.

"Ichigo Kurosaki has the same reishi as any ordinary human. His reiatsu is laughable. He lost everything in the fight with Aizen, didn't he? He's not going to get it back. Why did you promise Grimmjow he would?" She approached him, angry and untrusting.

Urahara sighed before slapping his fan together obnoxiously. He stood and turned. "Why don't you come have a seat and I'll make us some tea?"

"No." She said firmly, halting Urahara. He turned his head just enough to glance at her with his left eye. "What kind of sneaky nonsense are you trying to pull this time?"

"If you insist." He twisted to face her completely, no longer smiling. "I'm holding on to him as a chip in my pocket so to speak." He sat back down, bravely facing the fuming ex-shinigami.

"You're using him? You realize when he finds out about this, he's going to come looking for a fight!" She yelled.

"He won't find out about it, unless you decide to spill all of this to him. But I believe even you are smart enough to realize the consequences of that."

"Why the World of the Living? You could have easily made that promise to him and have him stay in Hueco Mundo for the time being. I mean, what are you expecting? We just finished the war with Aizen and his Arrancars. You think that we are going to be thrust into another detrimental situation so soon?" Her anger was fading the more she spoke, eager to know what the man in front of her was thinking.

"I hope not, but we are limited on allies. Seireitei is in shambles, Hueco Mundo is a mess, and as you've noticed, Kurosaki-san is no longer someone we can rely on in times of crisis. All three worlds are extremely vulnerable at this time. We need as many on our side as we can get. If that means bribing Grimmjow into helping, then so be it."

"You mean lying." She sneered.

"And I'd rather have him here because I cannot keep track of what goes on in Hueco Mundo. If he's here, it means I can keep an eye on him." Urahara explained. "I'll admit I was hoping to find a way to bring Kurosaki-san's abilities back, but it seems even I am limited on how many miracles I can perform. I do not know if Kurosaki-san will ever be what he once was." He stood up again, leaning down into Haruka's face. "It does mean, however, that I never lied to Grimmjow-san. I said I was going to do everything I could to get Kurosaki-san back to his old self. I wasn't lying about that." He leaned back with a smile, fanning himself. "It isn't my fault Grimmjow-san took that as a definite."

"You are going to get yourself into a heap of trouble one day, Urahara-san." She scolded before turning to leave.

"One more thing, Akiyama-san." He said as he approached her, handing her an envelope with what she suspected was her payment. "There was another reason I chose you to watch over him." His voice was playful, teasing. Haruka looked up at him after stuffing away the envelope, curiosity getting the better of her. "Have you made a decision on what you are going to do when your pursuers finally catch up to you?"

Her eyes went wide at first before falling, a distraught look playing across her features. "I have."

"I see." Urahara frowned. "Perhaps you may rethink your decision before they arrive."

She didn't answer, deciding instead to leave. "Good night, Urahara-san."

"See you tomorrow."

And with that, she drove into the night, heading to the last place she would ever call home.

"Oi, it's about time! I'm starving." Sapphire eyes and pale blue hair flooded her vision the moment she walked through the door.

"I just bought groceries two days ago. You could have made something to eat." She snapped as her roommate dug through her wallet. He growled when he noticed it was empty.

"I don't have time for that." He grumbled before pulling at her jacket, as wild and untamed as any hungry predator. She pulled the envelope from her inside pocket and held it in front of him. He grabbed it, a smirk playing across his face as he pulled out a few bills and handed the rest back to her, much to her surprise.

"You've been here all day." She deadpanned, earning a glare before she moved around him and went straight for the couch. She sat on the soft cushion, setting her elbows on her knees and letting her face fall into her hands. She had expected Grimmjow to have left by now, but the perceptive bastard had picked up on a scent that made his hackles rise.

"You saw Kurosaki?" His voice was borderline feral, that instinct to fight plaguing him once again or so she assumed. Unbeknownst to her, he spent the majority of his day looking for the very same person who's scent now lingered on her.

She raised her head to glare at him, annoyance clear as day in every aspect of her from posture to facial expression. "I had to make a delivery to his clinic today." She stated plainly.

Grimmjow's lips peeled back revealing a dangerous set of teeth. "You went to Kurosaki's place and you didn't think to take me with you!?" His control was slipping. A mixed result of not having anything to eat and being cooped up in the World of the Living way too long.

"No." She stated plainly, not giving in to his tantrum.

Grimmjow lost it. He tackled her, pinning her to the couch and snapping his jaw within an inch of her face. "Where is he!?" He demanded.

She was unphased by his aggression, familiar with it enough by now. "I'm not telling you." Her brow furrowed, determination set in every line.

"Tell me where he is, Ruka. I'm warning you…" He growled, his patience nearly gone, but she hardly cared.

"Or what? You'll kill me? Then just do it already. It will save them the hassle." She said quietly, her expression falling into one of cold sorrow.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" He pushed himself up, still straddling her hips, but his posture less threatening.

"Why is it that all you care about is fighting Ichigo Kurosaki?" She asked solemnly, deflecting his question. "You care about nothing else."

"That's right." He responded, carefully considering her.

"If you're going to fight, at least fight for something! Have some meaning to your life instead of just killing everyone that gets in your way." She insisted while pushing herself up and sliding out from under him. He allowed it, if only to grasp what the hell she was talking about.

"I don't have to explain myself to you, Ruka. Besides I already told you why I fight." He shrugged while moving off the couch and to a stand, towering over her.

"It's not good enough!" Her voice was aching, her eyes beginning to well with tears she desperately tried to fight off. It confused him. Why was she so passionate about this all of a sudden?

"Well what the hell do you fight for, huh? What makes you so much better than me, Akiyama-sama?" He teased angrily.

His words stung, and she found herself biting back her emotions. They sunk into her again. "I'm not better than you." She said quietly, effectively sobered. "I'm not better than anyone."

"Then why the fuck are you bothering me about this shit, yet again?" He ground out, his patience for this woman continuing to surprise him. Anyone else and he would of killed them by now. Or at least tear their damn tongue out of their mouth.

"Because you deserve a reason to be happy." She whispered shamefully. "You deserve to have some meaning in your life."

"What?" He nearly laughed, would have laughed if she wasn't looking so hopelessly determined in that moment. "Why do you care, Ruka?"

"What if Kurosaki never gets his powers back? What if you're waiting around here for nothing?" She asked completely bypassing his question.

"Then I'll go back to Hueco Mundo and take Las Noches back from Nel and Halibel." He shrugged. "Again, why do you care?"

"I don't know." She whispered painfully before rushing passed him and towards her bedroom.

She didn't think he'd bother with her. She was just a nuisance to him after all. All she was good for was a roof over his head and an easy meal. For some reason that hurt her even more. Why did she care? He was just using her as a free ride until he got bored and went back to Hueco Mundo. He was a selfish, egotistical, rude-

A forceful grasp around her wrist yanked her back. She tried to pull away, to fight him, but he was so much stronger than she was. She hated it. She didn't want him to see that raw liquid emotion streaming down her cheeks. She didn't want him to know that she resolved herself to death. She would no longer be a coward.

He wrenched her arm almost painfully, frustrated simply at the fact that he hated seeing her like this. "This can't all be for me." He declared as he ran a thumb across her cheek bone, feeling the wetness there.

"You got a second chance at life, Grimmjow. You should be doing something more with it than just this." She replied, her eyes unable to hold his gaze.

He tilted his head curiously, finally understanding where all this underlying sorrow was stemming from. She was throwing herself to the dogs. She was going to give up to those assholes that were after her. "You fucking coward."

Her eyes fell into a glare then, anger sparking her back to life. "Coward? I've been a coward my whole life! This is the first time I've ever accepted my fate. I'm done hiding from the consequences."

"You were not a coward. You were and still are surviving. Why do you keep trying to push that away? Instead, you are going to drop to your knees in front of these two and take the easy way out? You are going to let them kill you and pretend that it will make up for the shit you've done? That is more cowardly than anything else you've done in your life." His look was intense, stern, and controlled. He wasn't the crazed Arrancar she was used to. "You say I deserve a second chance. Well then why the hell don't you?"

She froze, completely shocked at what he was saying. "I…"

"I'm not letting you throw your life away. If you are going to die, it's going to be fighting for the last damn breath." His voice was low and concrete. It was absolute.

"Why do you care?" She asked suddenly, painfully.

He paused for a moment, averting his gaze for just a breath of a second. "I don't." The words immediately evoked a flash of pain on Haruka's pretty face and he hated that. "I just owe you a favor."

"Right." She whispered. "Well I don't want your favors." She ripped her arm free and stormed to her room. "Go get your damn food."

Grimmjow stood there, staring at the closed door. This was why he didn't deal with other people, or women in general. He much rather have a fight with fists than this emotional upheaval. He felt so powerless in this situation and it pissed him off. "Fuck this." He thought. It wasn't worth it.

She heard the door slam on his way out, her heart clenching painfully. She should have known that he really didn't care about her. Grimmjow only cared about himself.

"I'm not letting you throw your life away."

"Tch." She rolled over on her bed, stuffing her face in her pillow. "You will never understand, Grimmjow."

She spent the next five minutes tossing and turning on her bed while trying to rid her mind of the assault of thoughts determined to condemn her to misery. For a man who had previously called her pathetic and a coward, he sure did seem eager to defend her spineless behavior over the years. She knew he was making excuses for her. Regardless if she was just trying to survive or not, it was still hiding behind those who could protect her.

An angry snarl released from her lips as she threw her pillow across the room, not having the cathartic effect she was looking for. "Fuck this!" She exclaimed as she stood, storming out of the apartment. She didn't want to be there when he got back. She didn't want to be anywhere. She wanted to curl into a ball and disappear.

"Chilly night tonight." The familiar old man mentioned as he moved to where Grimmjow was sitting. "Autumn is on its way. Where's your pretty girlfriend?" He chuckled while fiddling with the pipe stuck between his teeth.

"Decided to stay in tonight." Grimmjow replied gruffly, making his annoyance clear.

"Ah so you two had a little lover's quarrel did ya?" He asked with quite some amusement. "Take my advice, son, hold on to 'em for as long as you can. Little squabbles don't mean a thing when you're sitting next to 'em on their deathbed."

Grimmjow sneered at him, but it only caused the man's grin to grow wider.

"I'll stop harassing ya! Young folk like you never listen to old men and their ramblings anyway." He let out a hearty laugh. "What can I get ya?"

Grimmjow opened his mouth to order, but was immediately cut off.

"Well, well, well. I guess she wasn't too keen on staying in afterall. My, my she looks awfully down. What did you do to her?" The old man's tired eyes had focused to a violet-haired girl wandering down the sidewalk on the opposite side of the street. She was so lost in thought, she didn't even notice either of them. Or if she did, she was blatantly ignoring them.

Grimmjow shifted his gaze to her. "Just where the hell does she think she's going?" He slipped off the seat and started moving away from the stand. "Sorry old man. I guess dinner's going to have to wait."

He heard the old man's bellowing laughter as he moved down the street. "Don't worry, son! I'll keep the food warm for both of ya!" Grimmjow didn't care enough to respond. Instead, he focused on that little purple flame wandering through the darkness.