DISCLAIMER: I own nothing in this story. The Mighty Boosh belongs to Noelio and JuJu. :D

A/N: Here you go. Please review and I hope you like it. Thanks for all the reviews!

SUMMARY: 26 short ficlets based on Howince, one for every letter of the alphabet.

TITLE: A-Z of Howince.

J is for Jamboree

Vince's POV

"No way!" Howard replied in a fit like manner. I don't get what his problem was; I only wanted a party to celebrate four years in the Nabootique. He was probably still weary because of our party last year for his birthday but I was desperate, I wanted to live.

"Oh come on Howard, you love parties, party animal. Besides you met that girl last year at the party." I had hoped this would help aid my point but it clearly wasn't working.

"Don't even bring that up. It wasn't a girl at all it was Old Gregg in costume." I burst out laughing after that and remembered the scream that radiated from his room that night.

"Well that won't happen this time because Old Gregg copped off with Harold." Howard had to admit, he was a bit jealous of that. "You were well jealous."

"I was not." Howard retaliated in a desperate attempt to defend himself.

"You were you gave yourself a Chinese burn." Howard fell silent then and shook his head slowly. "Whatever but looks Howard, I want a party and if you don't let me have one then I'm moving in with Leroy for the weekend and having a party there." Howard shrugged it off and picked up his newspaper. "I'll tell everyone about Gregg."

"Fine." He muttered behind his newspaper. "Have your party." A smile creeped onto my face… I new that Old Gregg would come through for me again like he did before when we ran out of Baileys.

"Cheers Howard, it's gonna be ace you'll see." Howard didn't say anything, just hid behind his façade of a newspaper. "Howard?" Again no reply. "Alright, give me the silent treatment." I said as though I didn't care… it would blow over eventually when he'd finished sulking because he didn't get his own way. Important thing was that I was having a party that night and it was gonna be huge, talk of Shoreditch. By half past two I'd distributed flyers, got my outfit and bought in some more Root Booster. Howard was still giving me the silent treatment which was sort of worrying because he has a habit of reminding me that he's not talking to me and this time he wasn't; he was just silent.

"Howard are you okay?" I asked and sat down next to him, again he was as silent as Naboo when Peacock Dreams is on which is pretty silent. "Howard?"

"I'm fine Vince but a documentary on stock taking's on so could you please be quiet?" I nodded and after a few minutes got bored and went for a shower. At half past seven the party started. I was wearing my sparkly leggings, white boots and a fancy top I'd bought in town that day while Howard was wearing-

"I've gone for an angry muffin layered with a violent nutmeg." I rolled my eyes.

"Howard, it's not exactly stylish is it?" He looked at me wide eyed and dejected.

"I have the ultimate style of a working jazz musician yes sir." Smiling at the fact Howard was talking to me; I walked downstairs and sat down, awaiting my party guests. "Right Vince I'm off." Howard announced when he had plodded down the stairs and grabbed his coat.

"What?" In one desperate bid to get him to stay I ran over and grabbed his arm, pulling him back inside. "You can't go because it's half your party." Howard shook his head and tried to head out the door which was once again a mission failed. "Please Howard, stay." My eyes were starting to look like a lost puppy dogs.

"Oh Vince, don't give me that look." Howard pleaded as my eyes continued to grow watery. "Fine I'll stay but don't touch me." It was only afterwards that I realised I was holding onto his wrist for dear life and so I let it go and smiled.

"Sorry." I sheepishly smiled and dragged him back upstairs to the party. "Hey look at Jacque le Cube, he's pulled with… Mrs Gideon. Oh Howard…" Before I could finish, Howard was up the stairs and sat on the roof… the roof! Parties always end on the roof. "Come on Howard, come down." Howard shook his head and sighed.

"I'm fine up here thanks. First a panda, then a cube, what next? Why does she not like me?" I sat myself down next to him and ran a hand through my jet black hair.

"Well you did spy on her through a sandwich." Howard pointed an accusatory finger at me and shook his head.

"That was never proved!" His voice held tones of defensiveness and I could tell that he was being very defensive.

"It was in News of the World and the show… that one where she ran off with my panda." Howard thought for a moment then, by the nod and snap of his fingers, realised what I'd said.

"Anyway, point is that no one will ever love me. Old Gregg is now with Harold, Gideon's with Jacque. Who've I got?" I shuffled closer to Howard and took one deep breath. I'd held it in long enough and I had to tell him now.

"You've got me." I whispered and took Howard's hand. "You'll always have me, no matter how many pandas or sea monsters I meet or how badly dressed you become." Howard pondered my words and smiled.

"Thanks but I'm not badly dressed. I'm wearing a classic sir, socks and sandals go way back." I hadn't realised he was wearing socks and his brown sandals… oh dear.

"Umm… yeah but… never mind. Let's go in." I smiled and slid down the roof to the window, Howard following me with our hands still conjoined. "Oh and Howard? If it means anything, old Gregg was stupid to pick Harold over you… his eyes are way too small." I smiled. "Yours are just right."

"Lance's hair was too big… I bet he's still there brushing out all the root booster he used." I burst out in fits of laughter and closed the window behind us. "Wonder what he is doing." Howard grinned and led me down the stairs.

Lance's house.

"Come on and just brush out!" Lance shouted and dragged a hair brush through his hair, tugging at every solitary strand of hair. "Why is it so hard to brush out? Goth Juice, what?" Goth Juice was so hard to brush out that Vince had to wash his hair five times to get it free from the powerful hold. "Vince Noir!" Lance screamed at the top of his voice.

Nabootique.

"Dunno, probably watching Autumn Magnets or something." I sniggered and pressed my lips to Howard's.

A/N: Well hope you liked it and I am sorry if it's bit rubbish but I think I'm getting writers block… make words brain!