Disclaimer: I do not own American McGee's Alice (EA) or Doctor Who (BBC).
Chapter 10: The Darkness Within
"You carved Wonderland out of the Dark Places of the Inside."
"...What?" said a dumbfounded Alice.
"I thought you said that was the Mara's realm!" added Richard.
"Only because it was banished there." replied Vastra. "At its most basic, the Dark Places of the Inside is a realm of pure thought, a literal world of dreams. A world which is shaped by the dreams of those whose minds enter it."
"Unless the Mara shapes their dreams for them." said Alice.
"Quite so. However, it did not do so with your dream. It could only disguise itself as your dream. And even then, only once it had multiple mortal agents from which to draw negative energy. You, meanwhile, have a section of the Dark Places entirely devoted to you, and every aspect of you. Your own private fiefdom in a world otherwise ruled by the Mara."
At those words, Alice finally believed Vastra: She remembered looking at Wonderland from the outside, seeing only darkness surrounding, and the Mara's corrupting energy forcing itself in. 'So that was the Dark Places of the Inside,' she thought to herself.
"Indeed it is." said Vastra...
….much to Alice's shock. "What did you...I didn't say anything!"
Jenny and Richard looked between Alice and Vastra in shock, but Jenny less so; "What was she thinking?" she asked, causing further confusion to Alice and Richard.
"She was recalling a time when she left her dreamworld, and saw the void surrounding." Vastra said in response
At last, Alice was able to vocalize her confusion: "Are you saying you can hear my thoughts? Are you using telepathy, like Dodgson talked about with his friends in the Society for Psychical Research? I thought it was just hogwash!"
Vastra smirked in response. "Those folks don't know what true telepathy looks like, but I can assure you it is indeed real. I don't have the telepathic skill of the Scholar caste, but I do know a few tricks. Chief among them the ability to share dreams – it's how I arrange those 'conference calls' I mentioned earlier. You clearly have more, albeit unexplored potential in that area, however."
"Me?"
"Yes. In fact, I sense you have some experience pulling others into your dreams. And not just the time the Doctor entered Wonderland to help fight the Weeping Angel."
Alice opened her mouth, ready to dismiss Vastra's claims as pure nonsense, but stopped. It was at that moment she remembered some things...things she had, up until now, thought of as beneath notice.
"You mentioned working for Trenton Haymitch...that wasn't my first time working at the Royal Opera House. Once, when I was a pauper in the seventies, I cleaned up backstage for a couple of nights before I went back to the streets. At one point during those nights, Richard Wagner was playing his 'Rings of the Nibelung' operas in the stage above where I was working – I even brushed past him as he was setting things up. When the music started, I started hallucinating...but not of Wonderland, but a world populated by characters from that opera. I had never seen it before, nor knew any of the characters...and yet, somehow, there they were in my dream."
"From one imagination to another." said Vastra with an amused shrug.
Alice continued: "Later...shortly before I met the Weeping Angel. I saw Jules Verne at a book-signing event, brushed against him... and later I met him in a dream. We explored the worlds of his novels together; including discussions of stories he had yet to write. None of the worlds we explored were stories I had read previously, however; and wouldn't get a chance until Dodgson helped me get educated. The only memories of mine I brought into the dream were the Vorpal Blade, the Cheshire Cat's image on a balloon, and Bumby's visage on a giant poulp's tentacle. Everything else was from Jules Verne's mind."
"Interesting. And you never questioned those events until now?"
Alice shook her head. "Those and a few others like them, I had all but forgotten. But how is it possible that I shared dreams with them? And in Wagner's case, did it without going to sleep?"
Vastra immediately responded: "The second part is easier to explain: When you hallucinate, you enter your dreamworld without needing to sleep. Stressors, like loud unexpected music, have provoked episodes like this...while Wagner, entranced by his own music, was in a similar dreamlike state.'
'And in these dreamlike states, both of your minds were brought into the Dark Places of the Inside, where your mental energy and their concepts created the shared dream. Their imaginations were almost as strong as yours, but their worlds were only temporary while yours has endured for two decades. All you need is a touch to form the connection."
At this, Vastra paused, before she said: "Now do you see why the Mara wants you above all other potential victims?"
"...Yes."
Even though Vastra, Jenny, and Alice all understood, Richard did not, and he said so. So, Alice elaborated: "Both me and the Mara can manipulate the Dark Places, as well as draw people into it. If the Mara added my power to its own, its power – and its hunger for more – would increase significantly."
"We've already seen a prelude of what that would look like," interjected Vastra. "It's already hijacking your power somewhat, by hiding within Wonderland. Thus situated, it could force a hallucinatory episode when it would be most inconvenient."
"Such as when I needed to watch the Renfrew children..." said Alice with a slight horrified tone.
"And furthermore," continued Vastra, "thanks to your ability to share dreams, it could draw other victims into its realm whenever you were in Wonderland. After you formed the connection with a touch, it would no longer need to wait for the new victim to fall asleep; all it would need is a moment alone with the hapless victim to bring out their dark side, and make it a servant. I imagine you were busy hallucinating after you ran away from me, as the Mara chose that moment to corrupt our poor friends in the other car."
All parties somberly reflected on the sorry state in which they found Richard's family, as well as Dodgson. Snarling at people for barely justifiable reasons, with the voice of a demon from another realm...and Alice responsible for no reason other than her imagination.
"If the Mara had control of your full abilities," continued Vastra, "there would be no measure to fully comprehend the power it might gain, or the opportunities that it would be able to pursue. Only that any outcome it would desire would be disastrous to every civilization in the universe."
The conversation paused, as all involved took in the drastic scale of the threat they faced.
"Well, that was a very informative discussion, but I think it missed the most important part." said Richard.
"Indeed." said Alice, as she turned to Vastra: "How do I fight it? And how do I defeat it?"
"Well, isn't that the question of the hour..."
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"I must say, Vastra, of all the places I believed you'd choose for the final battle...this is not what I was thinking about." said Richard as he looked upon the wrought-iron gates of the Hargreaves family estate.
"You said it would have all the mirrors we required, and it clearly has a circle of vision encompassing every possible access point. I see no reason why it wouldn't be appropriate."
"Well..." said Richard, hesitantly, "It's just...you said there'd be a fight, and..."
"...You're worried about damaging the property? Inevitable, and altogether an insignificant concern compared to what we're up against."
Richard opened his mouth to speak, but halfway through he changed what he was going to say to "Good point. Besides, we can always clean up afterwards, right?"
"Assuming the Mara is defeated, certainly. Now, go set up the mirrors. I must escort Alice to her flat, so she can get the remainder."
Jenny went in first, but Richard stayed behind with his thoughts: 'I never cared for my parents' opinions, or so I've told myself. But here I am saying I don't want them to see the house in shambles when they wake up. Would they extend the same courtesy? I hope so...' he thought to himself...
...until Jenny let out a pronounced "Ahem!" and he followed her in.
Soon, they had all the mirrors they needed arranged in the upstairs drawing room, except for one; one that would soon be brought in by Alice and Vastra. They busied themselves with rearranging the furniture into something resembling obstacles to an advancing army, as well as some peculiar devices Richard could not for the life of him fathom their function.
Along the way, Richard offhandedly remarked: "Vastra hardly lets people get a word in edgewise, doesn't she?"
Jenny paused in her work, and Richard noticed. Believing he somehow offended her, he prepared to stammer out an apology, but then she spoke:
"You're right. Madame Vastra is a rather strong-willed person. And a very knowledgeable person as well. When it comes to solving mysteries, or fighting dream-parasites, I wouldn't know where to start! Even in the things I have learned, like the fighting, I come up short."
"You can fight?" Richard asked, tilting his head in bewilderment.
Jenny nodded, and continued: "Vastra and I studied the same Oriental Arts. But again, She's the better fighter by far – among her people, she was part of the warrior clans. She was raised for combat right after she finished hatching!"
"Oh...hatching, of course." said Richard, still expressing a slight incredulity at the fact that the lizard woman was an ally.
"Compared to her experience with, well, just about everything," continued Jenny, "I come up short. There are some times, in fact, when I feel... out of place in this adventure. Like, Vastra and Alice could handle this all on their own. Like I'm not fit to be anything more than her servant."
At this, Richard's tone changed from confusion to concern. "Why are you telling me this?" he asked.
Jenny responded: "I wonder...do you ever get that feeling? That the ones you love lead a life you want to be a part of, but can't?"
"...Well, I know next to nothing about fighting monsters in dreams. And as much as I want to help, only Alice can fight the Mara in its own realm. Most I've done for Alice is pull her out of Wonderland when things got too stressful. But, I refuse to leave Alice to face this evil alone."
"How so?"
"From what I can tell, the Mara wants Alice to give up on life. I cannot bear the thought of Alice giving in to despair. The thoughts of her smile, her voice...they kept me going when all seemed lost. If there's even the slightest chance that I could do the same for her...remind her she is loved when she might not love herself..."
"...You're right," said Jenny with a smile. "It won't do any good to spend all day worrying I'm not worthy of her love. We give, and receive love. That's what matters."
With that, Jenny walked off to continue her work. Richard started to follow her, but then stopped himself.
"Was she talking about love in...that sense?" he said, with incredulity mixed with a slight dash of horror...which he quickly squashed. "Best not make a fuss. I...we owe them that much."
He followed her, but laughed to himself "Misery makes strange bedfellows indeed..."
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Alice and Vastra reappeared soon, some policemen behind them hefting a large mirror. In fact, a veritable army of policemen followed in Vastra's wake, each armed with truncheons and handcuffs. A couple of armored carriages followed them, full of restrained persons from all stations – Toby Russell, Cardin Varnham, Trenton Haymitch, George Renfrew, as well as Charles Dodgson and the Hargreaves family. They snarled muffled curses at their captors, but their restraints held fast.
"I can't wait to see these folks return to their senses." said a policeman at random.
Vastra turned in his direction, rather suddenly; "You will. Just be patient. And watch for any others – these were the victims we knew about, but there's little doubt the Mara has infected so much more."
With that, Vastra directed the policemen carrying the mirror inside. There, it was placed next to the others in the drawing room, while Richard looked on with awe.
"I still can't believe she has this much authority with the police."
"Captain owed her a favor, s'all." was the response of an officer, after which he said no more.
Richard's desire to ask follow-up questions was superseded by his relief upon seeing Alice enter.
"How are you feeling, Richard?" she asked.
"Nervous, that's for sure. I know what success and failure looks like for invention, but not for fighting dream demons."
"Well, one way or another, today is when it ends." said Alice solemnly, as she clutched a piece of paper tighter to her chest.
This made the paper conspicuous enough that Richard asked: "What is that?"
"A letter from Dr. Wilson. The superintendent of Rutledge's; I wrote to him just before I left for Dodgson, in hopes he might help with my problems. Part of why I wanted to stop home is to see if he sent me this reply, and whether or not it has something that might help."
"And...does it?"
Alice gave no verbal response. Instead, she looked at the writing again, and then she focused her gaze upon Richard's own. Their gazes remained locked for several seconds as imperceptible emotions washed over their faces one right after another...
...until finally, Alice broke the spell with a nod, and turned away.
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At length, the police busied themselves manning positions throughout the manor, ready to repel any intruders, while Alice, Richard, Vastra and Jenny arranged the drawing room to their specifications:
All the mirrors were arranged into a circle, with Alice inside on a chair, facing the mirror from her flat.
"Are you ready?" asked Vastra, ready to close the circle.
"Almost." replied Alice as she rolled up her sleeve, regarding the Mara's scarred image on her arm.
"Remember, the Mara is a glutton and cannot stop feeding. But while it has a source of negative energy, it has a link to this world. Forcing it to feed on itself, on the energy it's already consumed, is the only way to weaken it, and send it back into the Dark Places of the Inside. The circle of mirrors can isolate it from its external sources of fuel, but it still has your dark side to feed off."
"Right," said Alice with a nod, "And as soon as you close the circle it'll force me into Wonderland so my vision is directed inwards – looking at itself is the same as feeding on itself."
"Exactly. So until you can get the Mara outside your body, you have to isolate the Mara from your negative emotions. Remember what I taught you about the still point?"
Again, Alice nodded. "Every storm has an eye. If my thoughts are a swirling typhoon, I can find rest in the center."
"Good. Normally one needs practice in meditation to do that, but you've shown an ability to manage your thoughts through other means."
"True, but I think your advice will be useful nonetheless."
"...Then there's nothing more we can do. It's all on you now. No pressure."
Without further delay, Vastra moved the last mirror into place, closing the circle.
The effect was immediate.
A feeling of emptiness washed over Alice, combined with a sensation of being pulled apart and forced back together all at once.
The tattoo-like growth on her arm wriggled and writhed like a snake in its death throes, tearing at her skin. She coughed and choked on her own blood. White-hot light poured from her eyes, searing her eyelids.
"Alice?" called Richard from outside the circle; "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine!" she yelled through clenched teeth. "This is not my pain! It's the Mara's!"
As if in response, the pain doubled in intensity. But Alice remained defiant: "I'm...Not...YOU!"
The light pouring from her eyes bounced off the mirrors and enveloped her whole body, burning away at every inch of her skin. Her breathing accelerated, as less and less oxygen entered her lungs. The concerned voices of her friends faded away into a cacophony of screams.
But through it all, Alice remained aware: the Mara wanted to make her share its pain. And she knew exactly how to put a stop to that. She closed her eyes and focused. Focused on pulling herself inward, and forcing the burning sensation outwards. Focused on what happens to things surrounded by fire...
...until it became true for herself as well. The fire outside burned and hardened her skin until it scorched into a solid outer layer of ash. Ash that encased her like a prison of solid rock.
The fire subsided and left the ashen statue of Alice in its place. For several seconds things remained still.
Then, at last, it happened: cracks began to appear in the ashy chrysalis, and blue light escaped from within. A loud crack heralded the statue finally splitting open, revealing Alice, completely unharmed...
...and dressed in the blue, knee-length dress she used to wear to Wonderland. Gone were the long sleeves, ankle-covering petticoats, and other fancy attachments. Here were the striped stockings, the thick leather boots, the bloodstained apron, and the long flowing hair. Here was the outfit that she wore when Wonderland was in danger, and she was ready to save it.
The burning returned, but Alice was prepared this time: she dodged the heated rays, and leaped into the familiar mirror, leaving the Mara's attacks behind.
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On the outside, Alice's screaming stopped.
Richard, Jenny, and Vastra peeked through cracks in the circle of mirrors, and saw Alice seated in deep concentration. The snake tattoo on her arm pulsated and writhed, and blood dripped from it and from Alice's mouth onto both her dress and the carpet. Her eyes were a dull yellow, but not entirely snake-like. She trembled...but her breathing was slow, and calm. And still she clutched Dr. Wilson's letter to her chest.
Carefully, they closed the gaps, as Vastra said: "It's done. The final confrontation has begun, and she's doing her part. Now, let us do our part. Remember, the Mara's primary connection to this world may be in Alice, but parts of itself are still nestled all over London. We must be ready."
Vastra and Jenny left the room to see if the police reported anything, but Richard stayed behind.
"Hold on, Alice. If not for us, then for you." he said, barely resisting the urge to pull the mirrors aside and hold her in his arms.
Then, with some deep breaths, he settled into his role: yelling if someone got into the room.
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…...
…...
For the briefest of seconds, Alice was alone in every sense of the word. But then she entered Wonderland.
What was left of it, at least.
All the plants and animals, even some of the odd minerals, had disappeared. So too had recognizable decorations and landmarks, like the giant toys constructed from her memories, or the road markers she had lain throughout with the help of the White Queen's forces. Furthermore, no matter how much she focused her senses, she couldn't even see the chalk drawings of the Insane Children. Not even the slightest trace of water remained. Only swooping cliffs on one side, sloping mountains on the other, and nothing but a canyon full of small jagged stones as far as her eyes could see.
The Vale of Tears was now little more than a gravel quarry.
In an instant, Alice knew what was responsible. "I know you're out there, Mara!"
Out there? We're deep within the Inside.
"Yes...the Dark Places of the Inside," Alice admitted, before yelling at the sky: "But Wonderland is a realm apart! My mind is my domain, and you're trespassing!"
Wrong, Alice. I am this world. You're the trespasser, because you believe yourself separate from me.
"Simply wanting something doesn't make it yours!"
Wrong again. All that is is rightfully mine. Mine to control, mine to corrupt, mine...to consume.
Alice chose that moment to leap off the ground, and not an instant too soon, as nearly a dozen golden snakes burst from the gravel and tried to bite at her heels. She twirled in the air, and landed out of the snakes' reach...
...and didn't allow herself a moment's rest before she started running. Wherever she stepped, snakes would burst up and try in vain to snare her. Upon failing, they would disappear just as fast as they appeared.
As she ran, Alice tried to summon her familiar weapons – but none, not even the Vorpal Blade, answered her call.
You cannot fight yourself, Alice.
"You really don't understand me at all, Mara." Alice remarked; "I spent ten years in Rutledge's doing exactly that!"
That was long ago, Alice. And now, you face not only the strength of the Red Queen, but the strength you used to defeat her.
"Yet I face none of yours." snapped Alice, still running at her top speed. "It's taking all you have to hold on to me, and ignore the circle of mirrors surrounding you!"
It's still more than you can defeat on your own, Alice. Soon you will beg to surrender your last trace of resistance, and awaken to the pleasure of existing as us.
At this, Alice smirked, and stopped running. "Let me ask you something first," she asked, "What are you going to do once you have control over me?"
Isn't it obvious? We shall blur the barriers between the physical plane and the Dark Places of the Inside. All the world will be a dream for us to shape as we see fit, a dream shared by all humanity. The world will be engulfed in madness, madness on which we shall feed; but we won't stop there. The darkness within all will empower us, and we will spread throughout the stars. We shall turn the wheel of time for all the cosmos, and bring chaos from order, as the rightful owners of all existence.
Alice crossed her arms, still smirking: "Grandiose, but that's not what I was talking about. I was talking about the mirrors. Once I am you, won't the mirrors hurt me as well?"
The mirrors don't exist in the Dark Places of the Inside. With your power, we can ignore all our weaknesses as we see fit.
Alice's smirk grew imperceptibly wider. "Then our merger won't be – cannot be – complete until the mirrors are gone. After all, your greatest weakness is if you feed on yourself. To survive long enough to get out of the circle of mirrors, you'll need another source of negative energy...like the one you're likely using right now."
Alice paused, and focused on expanding her senses. She attuned herself to be alerted at the slightest sound, tremor, or movement.
A pebble shivered only once, but Alice noticed it – and as soon as she did, she dissolved into butterflies, just in time to avoid a snake bursting from the ground to bite her.
But before the snake could retract into the ground, Alice reformed her body and grasped the snake with all her might.
So when the snake was pulled into the ground, she was pulled along with it.
…...
…...
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Unobserved within the circle of mirrors, Alice moved slightly. She barely even made a sound against the soft leather of her chair.
With that movement, her left hand turned over, making the contents of Dr. Wilson's letter visible to the corner of her eye:
Dear Alice.
It brings me no small discomfort to hear that you once again suffer misfortune due to your condition. My memories of you were of the times you turned your condition to your advantage; when you became so intimately familiar with the depths of your subconscious most of the professionals I know in the field of psychiatric medicine seem like quacks in comparison.
Rutledge has made considerable strides since your last visit. We now have nurses which are fully aware what treatments are effective for which symptoms, and not what would be the most punishing for a frustrating patient. I'm sad to say we're still on the lookout for treatments that accomplish the same ends, and are yet less dangerous to the patient, than trepanning and lobotomies. I have, however, begun working on new forms of drug treatment that have shown some promise, eclipsing the effectiveness of laudanum in calming the most violent lunatics. With some patients, the drugs have been enough to ease their minds of traumas associated with violent history; and if we can find a way to make its effects last outside the asylum without discharging an addict, I can't begin to number the families that will thank our institution.
However, as per your ongoing request, I grant your right to remain outside the walls and deal with this problem in your own way. With God's grace, you and Mr. Dodgson may have discovered a solution by the time you read this letter. But just in case you haven't, I shall attempt to provide advice.
Alice's hand dropped at this point, obscuring the remainder of the letter from her subconscious...but not from memory.
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…..
…...
The snake pulled her through the rough earth at an alarmingly fast pace. Dust and rocks of all sizes rushed past her, tearing at her dress and whipping at her face – it took all of her concentration to hold on to the snake as it continued its retreat.
Still, however, she held on.
Why hurt yourself like this?
Alice didn't reply, partially out of a desire to keep the dust out of her mouth, and partially to frustrate the Mara.
Your pain makes me stronger, and gains you nothing. How does this help you delay our union?
Once again, Alice remained silent.
Everything you can do will be turned against you. I took your familiar thoughts and locked them away, leaving nothing in Wonderland save you and me. You have no strength left that I do not own, and I have the accumulated power of hundreds of human minds to call upon as well. The more you resist, the more pain you will receive, and I will not be one iota weaker. Surrender, Alice.
As the Mara spoke, her surroundings rapidly changed to thicker rocks; with smoother, more defined walls in place of loose stone, which Alice assumed to be carved by the snake. These were much less painful to travel through for Alice, but still she remained silent – she focused instead on blocking out the pain from traveling through the gravel.
What are you doing?
The snake head she was clinging to hissed in anger, but Alice pretended she didn't care. In fact, she was almost unresponsive...
...until a soft, slippery liquid began to ooze from the rocks the snake dragged her through. A liquid that felt like a mixture of saliva and blood.
Then, Alice smiled, and responded:
"You've taken all of my strength, have you? Well then, I'll take some of yours."
Alice suddenly let go of the retreating snake, but continued to slide along the corridor it had carved out of the rocks, propelled by the surrounding fluids...
...until the snake, and she behind it, slid out into a vast chasm.
Alice opened her dress as a parachute, and observed her surroundings as she floated downwards: the walls, which dripped with the disgusting liquids, were lined with snakes of seemingly infinite length. Many of them turned from their paths to gaze at her with glowing yellow eyes. Above her she could see more snakes, and below her she could see nothing but darkness.
But all the snakes that lined the walls arose from that darkness. And in the dim light she could see pulses of bioluminescence traveling up the snakes' bodies. Thus, her theory was confirmed.
"You didn't hide away all of Wonderland. You couldn't. You can't stop feeding. And you needed my dark side to sustain yourself while surrounded by the mirrors. And it looks like its down there."
Yes. Everything you hate about yourself is down there.
"Everything I thought would hurt me...everything I've rejected...but now, it's time to accept this side of me."
Alice pressed her hands into her dress, ending its usefulness as a parachute. The snakes lunged for her, but she was already tumbling down into the darkness.
Trusting herself and her hunch, she angled herself downwards...
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….and landed in a pool of blood, deep within the heart of Queensland.
She was disoriented at first, but she was able to swim to the surface, and wipe the blood from her eyes so she could see.
What she saw was the stone, organs, and cards of the Red Queen's land as brilliant and lively as they were in the days when madness ruled. The only difference was: where there were once slimy tentacles spreading out into all of Wonderland, there were now scaly red snake bodies, which spread out into not only the land but the sky.
"Seeing so many snakes has already gotten quite droll." she said to herself, thinking no one else was around.
She was quickly proven wrong.
A mass of tentacles rose from the pool below her, lifting her into the air, and carrying her towards the ornate castle.
There, protruding out of the balcony, sat the Queen of Hearts. Bedecked in splendid black robes, she extended her body forward into Alice's face.
"How dare you come here, where you know you're not wanted?" snarled the Elizabeth Liddel lookalike through her paper-thin teeth.
"I come for your help, your Majesty. You are all that is left of my mind, and without you, I cannot hope to resist the Mara. I know you resent having foreigners control Wonderland, and the Mara -"
"Silence! You speak of things you do not know. All that matters is my revenge...and you have given it to me."
Doubt swelled up in Alice's breast: had she miscalculated? Is the Queen's hatred of her really that strong?
Alice had no time to ask herself further questions, as the tentacles wrapped themselves around her, and forcefully shoved her into the Queen's mouth...
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….down a cavernous gullet, and into a gut the size of a cathedral. There the tentacles dropped her, and retreated.
The darkness obscured most of the details. But darker still was the worries within Alice. Her gamble had failed her, and the Queen had been her enemy all along. Soon the Mara would come to claim her as its own, with nothing she could do to prevent it.
She thought of those who were counting on her in the world outside. Vastra, Jenny, Dodgson... Richard... they were fools to trust her alone with this task. Try as she might, she couldn't find the slightest trace of hope.
"I see you're feeling hopeless, Alice. Good." bellowed a familiar voice.
"...why?" she asked, barely whispering.
"Because as your strength dwindles, ours increases."
"And do you know what we're going to do with it, Alice?"
The three creatures breathed fire around the room, illuminating the cavernous stomach. All around were muscles and bones, and heart-shaped eyes that bobbed up and down as if giggling. The Jabberwock, JubJub Bird and Bandersnatch towered over her, poised to attack.
With no energy left to even be afraid, Alice simply closed her eyes and awaited the inevitable...
"We're going to help you."
Alice gasped, and felt her energy return in an instant.
"The Queen got your message." said the JubJub Bird, as it threw a silvery object at Alice: A glittering memory, shaped like a syringe.
As soon as it hit the ground, its contents began to leak out.
My strongest memory of your time associated with my care is your lengthy struggle with the evil Red Queen, a name you gave to your survivor's guilt and denial of reality. She wished to keep you locked away in your Wonderland forever, eternally punished for your supposed failures and equally supposed fear of the truth. Your taking a stand and resisting her coincided with your periods of lucidity, and limited ability to recognize me as someone from the real world. There are times when I fancied my treatments as helping; laudanum healing your wounds after a long battle, and strychnine to empower your magical weapons; but it was more likely that you found such vitality and willpower within yourself.
If it should turn out that the Queen is attempting a comeback, then here's my advice: use her strengths against her. Guilt was one of her strongest assets, manifested within the Jabberwock. However, as our attempts at reformation have proven, guilt can also prove a motivator for redemption. The trick is to separate the guilt that claims you are a bad person from the guilt that claims you did a bad thing. Separate yourself from your actions, and your guilt forces you to ask how you can make things better. Fear, too, can be constructive; fear is what gets a person's blood pumping, and enables them to escape from danger. That's what courage really is: not the absence of fear, but deriving strength from that fear to do what needs to be done.
On the other hand, maybe Wonderland is trying to send a warning message, as it was when Dr. Bumby's abusive treatments created the Dollmaker. Search your history, and identify the outside influence. If it's exploiting a desire of yours, such as your desire to forget the pain of the past, take control of that desire – and ask yourself if the fulfillment of that desire is really in your best interests.
The memory of reading Dr. Wilson's letter faded, and Alice once again regarded the three monsters.
"So, what was all that before? Why pretend to betray me?"
"The Queen needed to get you to us, in a place where we cannot be disturbed by the Mara. At least, not until you're ready to face it."
Satisfied with the explanation, Alice stepped towards the monsters and said. "Very well then, let's not waste any more time. We must get ready to fight-"
"No, you must get ready. We cannot leave here...not while the Mara relies on us for strength."
Alice didn't have time to express any disappointment before the Jabberwock growled: "But we can give you this."
As soon as the Jabberwock finished growling, it reached towards its own face with its claw, and plunged the sharp edges deep into its own flesh. Fire and lightning spewed out as it roared in pain, and pulled something out of its eye socket, trails of blood following it out.
Whatever it was, the Jabberwock quickly dropped it, right into Alice's hands. Alice shook the blood off, and smirked.
Within her hands lay the complete Jabberwock's Eye Staff.
The final confrontation has begun! Who will live? Who will die? And what pain awaits the losers as well as the winners?
Find out next time!