Chapter 10
There was time the next day to explain what had happened with Nephrite and Zoicite when I'd been kidnapped. It was good we had some allies on the inside. In the end, the girls convinced me to put Usagi's face back on, and I returned to school to a very worried Naru who hugged me and several moments with other students in my home room class, welcoming me back and congratulating me on my recovery. I didn't really feel recovered. I felt terrible. The girls could understand my name was actually Rin, and I was not Usagi, but how could I tell Naru? She deserved to know too didn't she? It would put her in danger; no one was supposed to know about our true identities as the guardians. And perhaps…Revealing that to Naru, followed by a confession of me being from another world….it was too impossible for her. Perhaps…keeping up the "Usagi" thing for her would be a kindness. She had nothing to do with the rest of my problems, and I could protect her from getting hurt if I kept it that way. It hurt, it hurt a lot. I was so tired of the lies. But because I so cherished her friendship, I let it be.
I invited her to the arcade with all of us after school, and for a moment everything returned to normal. I fell into my role as her friend, forcing myself to forget the rest and cheered her on as she played the Sailor V game.
That night, I stared out my window at the waxing moon, the night air felt and smelled so good. I wanted to go there. I wanted to know. I had so many questions. How did I get home? Why was I here? Where was the real Usagi? Was any of this real? I didn't know if Neo Queen Serenity's hologram would know any of that.
I awoke to a day with no school, everyone was going about their business and dad brought home the Silver Crystal on a chain, just as I'd asked. When he asked if it was from my boyfriend, I paused, clutching it to my chest sadly, wearing a bitter smile.
"Not really…"
That night, I met with the others at the fountain in the plaza of the park. Ami told us the night was perfect. Rei added the meanings of the waning moon, and the waxing moon, and I knew these from my reality. A moon that was waning meant loss of energy, waxing meant rising energy, a new moon was death and darkness, but a full moon, that was hope. It really was a perfect night to go.
"It's the white light that gives us strength," she said.
Luna stepped up to the fountain, using her powers. Mina gave the signal to transform in order to create a barrier that would allow our transport. It was the first time I would become Sailor Moon since that night. I was nervous, and a little hesitant, but I needed this if I was ever going to learn anything. So I stepped into the fountain and said the words; with all my friends beside me it felt wonderful. Trusting in them, to think that after everything, they still wanted to help me, for being me, not for being someone else. We stood in a circle, holding hands. We focused out collective powers on the transport….and we were gone.
We were teleported into space in an instant, sustained by nothing but pure magic to breathe and move about within the shield in dead of space without anything else. Even in the midst of our journey we had to marvel at the size of our beautiful blue planet. Not even I could take it for granted. Becoming a magical girl was one thing, but….seeing something like this, something I'd never get to see in the real world without years of training and schooling and technology, was truly a marvel.
"Look," said Venus, "The moon."
We knew we had to go on.
"It's covered in craters, like Mercury," said my bluenette friend.
"Where are we landing Luna?" Asked Mars.
"Mare Serinitas, it's also known as the Sea of Serenity." She answered.
And soon, we touched down on the surface. What I knew about the moon meant there was no oxygen, even being exposed out here should kill us, but I assumed it was magic that made any of this possible, and left it at that.
"It's dark here, there's no sound at all, its weird." The girls commented.
I noticed the ruins nearby.
"That's the Silver Millenium," said Venus, "Where our Kingdom existed."
We approached, stepping onto an ancient walkway leading further into the long dead, gray walls.
"This used to be our home?" asked Mercury.
"Yes, Moon Castle," said Venus.
"We're here," said Luna, stopping before some kind of pedestal before a massive crystal. "these are the remains of the prayer room where only the Queen was allowed to enter. And this is the crystal tower, the core of Moon Castle.
"A stone sword…" I said, remembering Legends of King Arthur as I looked at the sword, jammed into the pedestal.
"Mercury, Mars, Venus, Jupiter, pull it out," ordered Luna.
"Alright, leave it to me," said Jupiter, pumping herself up for a feat of strength. She struggled, Mars and Mercury came to her aid and the sword slipped up only a little.
"We've almost got it," they said,
"Leave the rest to me," said Venus, fixing her glove. She planted her feet, and pulled with both hands and it came free, followed by living neon blue light.
"That's the Legendary Holy Sword to protect the Princess," came a voice from the light, which settled into the shape of an orb where the sword had just been. "Mercury, Mars, Jupiter, Venus, it belongs to all of you." A small figure appeared within the orb. Queen Serenity, "Luna, thank you for guiding them here."
"Queen Serenity," I said, "You were Usagi's mother in a past life."
Venus shot me a look like it was some kind of blasphemy to note myself as someone other than Usagi in front of her.
"My beloved Serenity," she said, as I came to sit before her on my knees, "but it's not you is it?"
I felt the tears at my eyes already,
"No, no it's not. My name is Rin."
The beautiful Queen smiled kindly at me.
"Rin…my Serenity is inside of you. I can see it…and her heart beats with yours. All the choices you have made, she's been with you. Confused and upset at first, but she watches from deep inside you, even now."
I smiled through the tears, shaking my head. I didn't feel anything else inside me. This whole time, I've heard and felt nothing in my head or heart but myself. So…how could that be true? Somehow…the real Usagi was still here, inside this body, even though I was in control?
"Then why am I here?"
"We have little time Rin. The Eternity System that runs through this castle allowed me to preserve my will, though my body has perished. There is much to say and little time left to say it. I sent Luna and Artimis to Earth after putting them in stasis. I've been waiting for this moment for so long. Do you remember, Serenity?"
I had the feeling the departed Queen was speaking to the Serenity inside me, the one that was deep down and dormant, somehow watching everything I was doing. As a mother myself, I understood the way she might want to ignore Rin, some parasite inside the body of her reincarnated daughter and reach out to the girl who was her only child. She reminisced about Serentiy's way of going to Earth, how she loved the wind and the greenery.
I tried to focus on her, Usagi, to contact her within myself and could feel the memories of seeing Endymion. Falling for him back then…this was the same as the night I'd transformed into the princess, witnessing these memories first hand…this wasn't me remembering the tv show, this was happening. I was seeing Serenity's visions. Usagi really was inside of me somewhere….she was affected by all this, just like me. Right. All the more reason for me to find my answers, the real Usagi could have her body back if I could figure out how to get out of the way. But for now, it was still mine.
"Yes…she used to go there, sneaking out behind everyone's backs…just to see him." I said, feeling her love for Endymion as my own and suddenly we were all connected. We could all see the memories, from back then, so long ago.
"We were long lived beings on the moon, or mission was to protect the Legendary Silver Crystal, watch over Earth as it grew and help it improve." Continued the hologram, "But in that year, a disaster occurred. An evil creature invaded earth, trying to make it its own, that being was evil itself. It schemed to control the Silver Crystal, brainwashed the humans and attacked the moon. But the young Prince Endymion kept his sanity and fought to protect the Princess. But he fell while trying to protect you. Overcome with grief, you also…" And I saw the suicide, remembering it as if I had been there. Watching Serenity thrust the sword into herself and collapse…was horrible. So much blood. But the hologram went on.
"With the power of the Legendary Silver Crystal, I finally managed to seal that creature…but in return, all of the Silver Millennium was turned to stone, and the Kingdom of Earth was destroyed, forcing the history of the planet to start all over again. But that demon has awakened, and we need to destroy it completely this time, with the true power of the crystal. Princess, only you can do that."
"But…I'm…" I said,
The hologram shook her beautiful silver head, "Only you can do it."
I bit my lip and sat back a little. There was a lot to consider, was it true? Was Usagi really inside of me, and could I really save the world? For a moment, I thanked my lucky stars I was living in Sailor Moon Crystal, and not the original version of the anime where everyone died anyway.
"Queen, there seems to be something wrong with the crystal," stated Venus, "its contents transferred into the body of Prince Endymion and it has lost its brightness ever since."
She gasped in response, "The contents were drawn inside him?"
I produced the crystal necklace and showed her.
"Rin, that must have happened because of your strong desire to save him. Don't worry, I'm sure he's alive."
"But…look, I…my heart, I can't be in love with him. I haven't told him the truth about me."
"I don't think that means love is impossible, love is the power that fuels the crystal, and your will. Without both, such a thing would not have happened."
I considered this, feeling my stomach tighten, but what about my attraction to Juptier and Nephrite? I guess that's all it was, just attraction. Could it be, that after all this…I really had truly fallen for Mamoru? But…that….I imagined that if I accepted those feelings, it would hurt even more than losing my friends when I finally went home. It would hurt too, if he rejected me for not really being Usagi. Love was just…too scary still. I couldn't deal with the idea, it was too much just then, and pushed it from my mind.
"But Queen, I-"
"Rin, please remember that the power of the crystal replies solely on your heart. Be proud and confident being the Princess and being Sailor Moon, the Guardian of Love and Justice and don't forget that you're also a normal girl. The true meaning behind the reason you are here lies in that." Her image began to flicker. "Mercury, Mars, Jupiter, and Venus, please work together to protect the Princess, no matter who she might be inside." Her silver gaze returned to me, "Please be happy." And she dispersed into nothing.
There was a moment of silence.
"It's almost morning back on earth," said Luna, "Shall we head back?"
I nodded. I had a lot to think about.
We returned to earth to watch the sun rise, and I had a moment to consider just how beautiful life could be. Not just appreciation for the beauty of our planet, but just how beautiful life was without that man from my life before, the freedom, the mystery. These girls beside me, this world, a mockery of reality here, standing on this rooftop with the wind in my hair, it had all taught me something. Selfishness, lying, it didn't solve problems, it created more of them. My daughter was abandoned in some way to the man I had somehow run from into this pseudo-reality. In spite of the abuse to me and my heart, I was capable of falling in love again, even if it was a frightening thought and regardless of the guilt driven into me by that man, friendship with others was possible too. I was stronger than someone who could run away into a fantasy. I was ready to go back…but of all I had learned, I realized I couldn't disappear from this world without setting things right. I had to talk to Mamoru, and before that, I needed to rescue him, and also, do what I'd wanted to do, save the Kings.
As the first breath of sunrise washed over us, I spoke,
"Everyone….Let's find the true meaning of our presence here."
Thank goodness for the weekend, I slept in, but only a little and still woke up refreshed. I wasn't really invested in school the next day, I spent lunch with Naru and that night met up with the girls again in the lab. I had a bad feeling about the Kings I needed to get back to them soon, or else I could never protect them.
"The movement of the Earth's crust has been very active recently; there's also unusual thermal reactions around the North Pole and they're from deep underground. The values have been increasing abnormally over the past few months." Said Luna.
"It may have something to do with the dark Kingdom," added Artemis.
"That's right," I said, "Queen Metalia is there, where Beryl is trying to-" I was cut off as the screens flashed red,
"Look everyone!" said Ami. Tokyo was under attack, and the Kings were there. Within moments it seemed we were already transformed and running to confront them.
"Kunzite!" I shouted, "Nephrite, tell me you're still sane!"
"You're late," said Kunzite.
"Just answer me! Do you have your memories? Or has Beryl brain washed you again?"
He turned his handsome face to Nephrite, who nodded at him and the four kings came to land on the ground before us. The other Sailor Gaurdians all took a fighting stance, but I stepped forward, looking at the brunette.
"Yes, we have our memories and our sanity. It didn't take long for me to convince the others, our memories came back shortly after. We've been careful not to let anything show to Beryl."
"Then why hurt all these people?" asked Mars, distrust evident in her voice.
"They aren't hurt," answered Zoicite, "Just frozen, think of it like being in stasis."
"So what's the plan then? Where's Endymion?" I asked.
"No…is it possible?" Started Venus, stepping toward Kunzite, his gaze softened as he looked at her. I felt a little jealous as she reached for him and he took her hands. "You…remember?"
He looked down at her tenderly and touched her face. "Yes, thanks to Shinpiko, we all remember."
"Shinpiko?" Venus looked over her shoulder at me. I blushed.
"It was the name Nephrite gave me before I remembered my real name."
At that Nephrite seemed to perk up, "Your real name? What is it?"
"It's Rin."
He stepped toward me, an odd look on his face, "Rin…"
"Nephrite?" Said Jupiter suddenly, putting a hand to her chest. "That's right…."
The others all came to their senses, memories of love flooding them. It seemed the girls couldn't help but throw themselves into the arms of their old boyfriends. I stared at them, jealousy twisting in my gut. Nephrite looked at me over Juptier's shoulder and then turned his face into her hair.
"Endymion is still at our headquarters. Beryl has him in a chamber near the main hall." He answered, before he seemed lost in Jupiter's eyes somewhere.
Happy reunion in progress, I grit my teeth and gathered my powers, propelling myself into the air. "Moon Healing Escalation!" I cried, ridding Tokyo of the ice. I didn't have time to feel jealous. After all, I'd just realized I had real feelings for Mamorou, right? Even if Nephrite was my favorite King…this…it wouldn't be right for him to love me.
I drifted back to earth clutching the Silver Crystal wishing that someone out there loved me for being me, someone whose story wasn't already written to love someone I was pretending to be, or who was made to love someone I could never be. I missed reality somehow. Back in my world…I actually had a real chance at making my dreams come true.