Reviews: Romance and Musicals, Super-Berry, Vine Silver, silverstagbeauty, Devilchild93, VampGrl1234, Samantha-Girl-Scout, love-toushi, Double I 4 My Guyz.

Story Alerts:

Chapter 10: Pregnancy Hormones

Lying in bed, I gazed up at the ceiling to contemplate the new events that had happened to me only two months ago. Sighing, I rolled over to gaze at the beautiful young woman lying beside me. Curled around a pillow, she looked happy. But her eyes were puffy from crying again—and it was my fault. I knew when we were together that Sam would want children, and even I liked the idea of being a daddy. But I just couldn't help feeling cheated out of the whole experience when I couldn't hear anything. I'd tried to explain that to Sam more than once, but she couldn't handle it. She couldn't understand why I just couldn't be happy.

I tried so many times to just think of all the good that would happen; I'd get to teach the baby to walk and sign, and I could play with the baby and hold it. Wrapping my arm about Sam's middle, I rested my chin against her shoulder. She stirred a bit but didn't wake, and I gazed down at her wishing so much we weren't fighting like this. Gently stroking her hair from her face, I kissed her forehead then her nose. Couldn't she see that I loved her? Couldn't she see that I wanted to try at least?

Her eyes fluttered open at my gentle kisses, and she looked up at me with a groggy, confused face. "Danny, what are you doing still awake?" She glanced over at the clock on our night stand before looking back at me. "It's nearly four in the morning."

"I can't sleep." I rested my head on her stomach as she rolled onto her back. "I hate fighting with you. I can't stand not being close to you."

She turned her head away, and I felt her chest rise and fall as she let out a deep breath. "Danny, it's too early in the morning for this. Can't we talk about this later?"

I wanted to shake her. We never talked about it; we only ever fought about it. Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, I closed my eyes. She ran her fingers through my hair, and I tried to take comfort in the fact that we weren't fighting right now. But I knew I still wouldn't be able to sleep. Opening my eyes, I saw she still had her eyes open too. She looked exhausted, and I knew she needed her sleep for the baby. I just shook my head, moving away to rest my head on the pillow again.

"Go back to sleep, Sam. We'll talk in the morning." Closing my eyes, I tried my hardest to just not think about what I was saying. Sam had always told me she didn't want me to push my feelings aside, but it was so hard not to when everything I said seemed to upset her.

A soft hand touched my arm, and I opened my eyes. Sam was looking up at me, tears glittering in her eyes. Damn it, how did I manage to make her cry even by consenting to talk about things later? I had to look away, sighing as she moved closer to me and wrapped her arms about me, burying her face into my chest. When I looked back down, she was looking up at me again.

"Danny, I miss our closeness too. Talk to me, please? I want to listen."

I rubbed at my eyes; they stung from not sleeping in two days. "I've already said everything I can about this. Every time I say it again, you start crying and telling me I don't want the baby at all. And that's not even what I'm trying to say."

Frustration was creeping in, and now I didn't want to talk about this either. She was crying again, tears streaming down her cheeks. The doctor had told us both repeatedly that stress wasn't good for the mother or the baby. Why couldn't she just see how much I was trying to make this a calm conversation?

"Sam," I muttered, pulling her close and kissing the top of her head.

Her body jerked, and I had a feeling she had the hiccups from all the crying she'd done. She raised her head, looking up at me once more. "I'm sorry," she said. "I can't help it. I'm sorry I keep saying you don't want the baby. I know you've been trying. You just don't seem as excited as me, and that hurts."

"You think I don't want to be more excited, Sam?" I gently eased her away from me, getting up out of bed to pace in front of our window. Sitting down on the sill, I sighed once more. "I really want to be a dad. You have no idea how much I want to be a dead. But I feel cheated. Everything you experience, I will get to experience without sound. You will hear it's first word, it's first giggle. I get nothing."

She slid out of bed, kneeling at my feet and gently massaging my calves. I saw her lips move as she said my name, but she wasn't crying anymore. She stopped her massage to sign to me. "I'm sorry. I didn't plan this anymore than you did. At first, I felt a little apprehensive. I didn't feel ready. We'd just gotten married and everything; it didn't seem fair to have a baby now. Now, I know I want to have this baby, and I'm excited. I can't help it."

I groaned, shaking my head. "I want to have this baby too, Sam. This is our baby, and I really do what to have it. Please, just try to understand my excitement is not going to match yours. No matter what, I'm going to come up short."

She nodded then leaned forward and wrapped her arms about my middle, her head resting against my stomach. I absently stroked her hair, wishing so much I could have my hearing back now. The doctors kept telling me my ears were healed so why couldn't I hear still?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Heaving a sigh, I stared at the white board in front of me trying to understand what this math class was trying to teach me. Between Sam's new pregnancy and my inability to hear, I simply wasn't in the mood to concentrate on math. Glancing at my phone, I nearly groaned when I saw only a few minutes had passed. I pushed my phone back into my pocket just as it vibrated and pulled it out to find Sam had texted me. For a moment, I thought of ignoring it, but she knew my class schedule. This had to be important if she was texting me now.

I flipped open my phone to read the text. "Danny, I'm scared. There's a lot of blood. Please come home."

My eyes widened, and I quickly packed my things and fled the classroom. I texted my mother who lived closest to us, telling her what Sam had told me. When I got home, my mom was pulling up. "You go in first," she said. "Try to calm her down."

I nodded, running inside. Throwing my backpack aside, I ran to our bedroom. The comforter was thrown back, and there was blood all over the sheets. Sam wasn't in our bedroom so I pushed open the door to the bathroom. I nearly broke down into tears. She was curled up in the bath tub, crying, and her nightgown was stained with blood. There was blood on her hands and legs, and there was a little trickle of blood heading for the drain. Very slowly, I walked over to her and knelt beside the tub.

She looked up at me, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Why?" she asked, but I didn't know what to tell her.

I wrapped her up in some old sheets so she wouldn't feel bad about staining my mom's car. I know my mom wouldn't care one way or the other, but Sam would. My mom held open the car door as I gently set Sam in the backseat before climbing in on the other side. No one said anything on the way to the hospital whether by signing or actually speaking. Sam clung to me as I carried her into the hospital, and it took some time to convince her to let me go so the nurses could take her to a room to get her looked over.

Waiting in that hospital lounge was the worst thing I had ever experienced. I had thought waiting at home for news of Sam during her leukemia return had been bad, but sitting here in this uncomfortable chair waiting to hear anything was worse. My mother had gone home to let Jazz, my dad, and Vlad know. I should've texted the Manson's but my hands were shaking too badly.

No one approached me for what seemed like hours. Then a nurse came up and set a hand on my shoulder. I looked up at her, unashamed of the tears that had started a few minutes ago. She spoke slowly enough that I could read from her lips that Sam was going to be fine. Trying to ask about the baby would've been a waste of time; I needed to see Sam. Following the nurse down the hall to Sam's room, I couldn't help blaming myself. I hadn't been ready to be a dad yet, and now I had unintentionally killed my baby.

Swallowing back the sob that threatened, I stepped into the hospital room. Lying there, curled up in the large bed was my tiny wife. Tears spilled down my cheeks, and for a moment, I couldn't see. I wiped at my eyes before stepping over to the bed, sitting down in the chair that had been placed there. She was crying too as she looked up at me. Her face was distraught, and I could only imagine how much this hurt her.

"I'm so sorry, Sam." I leaned down, kissing her forehead and trying to wipe away her tears. But more only kept falling. "This is all my fault."

She shook her head, slowly sliding her hand out from under her head. "Don't blame yourself, Danny. The doctor said there was nothing anyone could have done. It happened for no reason at all." But I could see it in her eyes that she blamed herself just as I blamed myself.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Coming home a few days later with Sam seemed like the most depressing thing in the world. I'd been spending nights at the hospital with Sam, but my mom had come home and cleaned up the blood. The Manson's had bought us new sheets, and I locked up the second bedroom that Sam had started decorating for the baby. She didn't say anything as I gently led her back to our room, my hand on her back as she walked forward; she hadn't said much at all since it had happened.

"Are you hungry?" I asked as she sat down on our bed.

She gave me a small smile but shook her head, laying down and holding a pillow to her chest. I sat down beside her, gently stroking her hair. Nothing could have prepared either one of us for this, and I knew Sam had to be hurting more than me. After all, she had had the baby inside of her, feeling it grow. Now, that was gone.

"Sam," I whispered softly as she started to cry.

She just shook her head, crying harder. Feeling helpless, I climbed into the bed beside her, holding her tightly as she shook with sobs. Why couldn't anything go right for us right now? Resting my head on hers, I gazed up at the ceiling and tried my hardest not to cry too. Could fate really be so cruel to bring so much pain to us so many times?

I woke up, sitting up with a start. I hadn't even realized I'd fallen asleep, and Sam wasn't by my side anymore. Climbing out of the bed, I head to the doorway. I didn't need to go any farther. Sam was sitting in front of the door to the second bedroom, curled up as she cried. Her hands were red and swollen; I had a feeling she'd been trying to break through the door for a while.

"Sam…" I sat down beside her, gazing at her sad face. "It's for the best. Just give yourself some time to heal, and I'll open it back up, okay?"

Wiping at her eyes, she nodded, and her shoulders jerked as she hiccupped. "I want to try again," she said. "When I feel better, I want to try again for a baby."

I didn't have the heart to tell her no, no matter my feelings on the subject. She wanted a baby, and I wanted so much to give her one. "I promise, we'll try," I responded, kissing her forehead and holding her tightly. "Sam…"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Several months had passed since we were devastated by Sam's miscarriage. We were still going through the emotional ups and downs. The day I unlocked the second bedroom was only two months after the incident. Sam stayed in that room all day long, staring at the bordering she had bought for the baby and the yellow walls I had painted for her. It just didn't seem fair that we should have to go through all of this.

We hadn't had sex since it happened. The one night Sam had wanted to, she'd started crying. I couldn't even get it up in a situation like that. I had finished school, graduating with honors and receiving a permanent job at the school for deaf children that I had subbed at. Sam came by my work sometimes; I taught kindergarten, and she was always happy when she played with the children. Eventually, we both stopped crying all the time. Sam could sleep through the night now without waking up in tears, and I no longer found her in the second bedroom collapsed in tears. Things were starting to look up again.

"The doctor says I'm completely healed," Sam said. We were sitting in the kitchen; I was getting ready for work, and Sam had gotten up to make me breakfast.

"You said that two months ago," I reminded her. "You wanted to try again but started crying."

Her cheeks flushed, and she looked down. "I know. I remember. This time, I really think I'm ready to try again."

I sighed, shaking my head. It wasn't that I didn't want to. My entire body heated up just talking about the prospect of sex. But I didn't want Sam to push herself. "Sam, the doctor may say you're physically stable, but emotionally, I don't think you're ready yet." Tears flooded her eyes as she looked at me. "You know I want to. You have no idea how badly I want to. Just give yourself some time. I promised you we would try again, and we will. Just give yourself some time."

She nodded and managed a small smile through her tears. I set my breakfast dishes in the sink and walked over to her, running my fingers over her cheek as I gazed into her eyes. "I love you, Sam," I whispered. I saw her mouth the words back to me before wrapping her arms about my neck and kissing me on the lips.

Kissing her was enough to set me off now, but I gently pushed her away, giving her a soft smile. I just hoped she knew I only did this for her. Otherwise, I would've readily thrown her on the counter and had my way with her already, but I knew she wasn't ready. She promised to come visit again today after her bread had finished baking in the bread maker. Then I left for work, walking to the bus station just in time to catch the bus I needed.

After the school day had ended, I stayed after to grade papers. Sam hated it when I did things like that without alerting her so I made certain to text her. She asked that I just make sure to come home by six. I left the school at 5:30 and was unlocking the front door right at six. On the dining room table was a setting for two with candles lighting it and vegetarian lasagna. What caught my attention, however, was the young woman standing beside the table. She was wearing only a black negligee, and her smile was far from innocent.

My mouth felt dry as she walked up to me. She really hadn't been kidding when she said she wanted to try again today. Very slowly, she raised her hand and pressed it against my lower jaw, successfully closing my gaping mouth. Then she leaned forward and kissed me. Good god, why did my wife have to be so damn sexy? I don't think she'd planned on skipping dinner; neither had I honestly. But I blew the candles out on the table before returning my lips to hers, pushing her toward the bedroom.

Her eyes were wide with surprise, but her smile was wanting. Now she would definitely know that I had wanted this just as much as she had this morning. She stood pinned against the wall at the end of the hallway as my lips ravaged her mouth. I hadn't kissed her this passionately since the accident, but now she would be getting everything I'd held back on. Lifting her up, I carried her into the room as her legs wrapped about my hips while her lips attacked my neck with fervor. Shuddering, I kicked the door closed behind me then tossed her on the bed. Tonight, neither of us would be sleeping for an entirely different reason.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Author's Note: Yes, I cut off the sex scene for a reason. I did promise Chapter 8 would have the only lemon. Danny WILL be getting his hearing back sometime, I swear! It's just that every time I try to squeeze it in, they want to do something like this! Maybe I can squeeze it in after Sam gets pregnant? I don't know. We'll see with Chapter 11. Okay guys?

Blanket disclaimer: Chapter 1.