A/N: So I know I say this every time but… I really apologize for the long wait. I kinda lost my inspiration in the middle of the last chapter but knew I had to finish so I was working on fanfics for the 100 theme challenge for a while (Dino and Hibari from Reborn! Stories) When suddenly I was struck by an idea for this chapter. I hope you like it and thank you all for being so patient with my slowing updates and sticking with the story. I really appreciate your reviews and I'll try to get at least one chapter out every week/week and a half or so since I have some inspiration back but I'm sorry if I miss an update DX it's an important semester in school for me since my grades sucked this time. I'm not trying to make excuse but yeah… this may end up being a longer story than I planned and I never was good at finishing projects… but I will try very hard on this I will finish! I promise I know I hate when people don't finish theirs so…  please just keep being wonderful and patient. Thank you and enjoy :D

Disclaimer: I don't own code geass.

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"Ah… Le- Lelouch… s- stop! This isn't… we shouldn't be doing this." Suzaku stammered clumsily as he tried to pull away from the smaller boy on top of him; though one could argue his body did not wish to follow its given instructions. The dark haired boy raised his head, leaving a small bruise on the brunet's collar bone as he did.

"Why not? You already told me you liked me, so don't give me that whole 'we're both boys' thing" Suzaku frowned.

"N- no!. That's… that's not it. It's just…" Gino had been in the hospital for about a month now and Suzaku couldn't help but notice that Lelouch had become more reserved than usual. He didn't know what had happened between the two, but he knew they weren't on the same good terms as they used to be. Lelouch had grown especially close to Suzaku in the past thirty days and Suzaku thought maybe Lelouch was moving a little too fast.

"Then what is it? Don't you want to-"

"Lelouch! …just wait. It's not that I… don't want… this. It's just that… well," He paused, he was sure that he had developed feelings for the other boy and as weird as that may have been for him, Suzaku accepted it. He knew there was nothing he could do about it and so he had told Lelouch about these feelings. The shorter boy had acted surprised at first but quickly returned the sentiment. But that's what worried Suzaku so much; he didn't know whether Lelouch really liked him at this point or if the boy was doing this, just using him, because he was desperate for some escape from the reality before him.

"What?" Lelouch sat up, now looking down at Suzaku from his seat atop the brunet's hips. His eyes were cold and void of emotion. As much as he hated to admit it, Suzaku would have rather seen sadness, anger- anything, filling the boy's vacant amethyst eyes than to have to continue staring into the black holes before him. Suzaku sighed.

"Gino gets out of the hospital today." The amethyst eyes continued to peer down at him, unblinking and sucking in all light around them as Suzaku attempted to sit up as well.

"So?" Suzaku looked surprised.

"Don't you want to be there?" Lelouch shrugged before getting to his feet and walking to the nearby kitchen for a glass of water.

"He has Anya." He chugged the clear liquid in one gulp before placing the cup in the sink with a small clatter. "Besides, I have you now so why would I have to go see him? It's not like his life is in danger anymore, so I could just see him in school or at work or something." Suzaku's frown deepened.

"But he's your friend…" Lelouch sat down slowly at the edge of the bed and looked up at the ceiling.

"Who told you that?"

"Lelouch what's wrong between you two? Neither of you will talk to me about it and I'm worrie-"

"Well maybe you shouldn't be!" Lelouch snapped. "Nobody asked you to be concerned, it's not your business just because it involves one of us you know!" Suzaku's emerald orbs widened at the comment and he quickly apologized.

"I- …you're right. I'm sorry Lelouch." He was so happy when he had found out Lelouch had liked him back; his stomach was doing back flips he was so excited but right now… he couldn't seem to remember why he had fallen for the boy in the first place.

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"Hey Lelouch! Can I talk to you?" So maybe it was too quick. But due to recent events, Suzaku found himself spending more and more time alone with Lelouch. It's not like he minded, it's just… well it just seemed as if every time the brunet found himself face to face with the dark haired boy his throat closed up. He thought at first maybe it was just his imagination, but his stomach would feel all knotted inside and he felt like he was always holding his breath around the boy.

Lelouch turned around.

"Sure, what's up?" Suzaku stopped as he approached the boy and smiled, his stomach already turning. Then realizing what he was about to say he felt a heat rushing up to color his cheeks.

"U- um… well you see… I just wanted to tell you…" Lelouch raised a thin eyebrow.

"What is it?" Suzaku looked up, he didn't want to waste the boy's time.

"I just… well…" He took a deep breath. "I like you."Lelouch's eyes widened for a moment before he looked away at the floor, eyes narrowed as if he had just been betrayed. Suzaku frowned. For a moment he thought that maybe Lelouch didn't return the feelings, and maybe Gino had been wrong.

"Hey Lelouch… I'm sorry I guess I just-" But before he could finish his sentence Lelouch had grabbed the taller boys face and pressed his lips firmly against Suzaku's. Now it was Suzaku's turn to be surprised, and before he could respond Lelouch had grabbed him by the arm and pulled him up to the brunet's small apartment.

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He never really told Suzaku he liked him back. So maybe it was possible that this was just about physical satisfaction for Lelouch. As the slim boy walked back over, Suzaku began to think, maybe this wasn't the best idea.

"Hey Lelou-" By now, the amethyst eyed boy had once again straddled the brunet and forced his words to stop as Lelouch once again forced Suzaku to kiss him.

"Mmphm." Suzaku clenched his eyes, as he tried to stop Lelouch and push him away, but quickly found himself surrendering to the dark haired boy's strange touches. One thing Lelouch knew how to do was please a man, heck he had been doing it all his life, and now it was Suzaku's turn to learn that first hand.

Pushing Suzaku back to lean against the wooden frame of the bed, Lelouch ran his slim fingers through brown locks before moving one hand down to rest against the other boy's chest. Parting his lips, Suzaku allowed Lelouch to deepen the kiss before letting a soft groan escape his chapped lips. Lelouch smirked; this was working just how he wanted it too.

Taking a hold of Suzaku's hair, Lelouch tilted the boy's head back in order to further test his gag reflex. A heat rose to the taller boy's cheeks before he pulled Lelouch even closer, his tan hand pushing on the crook of the pale boy's neck. At first he was surprised by Suzaku's reaction but quickly recovered as he slipped a smooth hand slowly under the hem of the brunet's shirt. Suzaku let another moan vibrate in his throat before it was lost to Lelouch's waiting mouth. Just as the dark haired boy began to circle slim fingers over the other teen's hardened nipples, Suzaku pushed him away.

"Le- Lelouch stop." He panted. Lelouch looked up almost angrily from his new spot on the bed.

"What the hell's your problem?" Suzaku frowned.

"I'm serious Lelouch." The mentioned boy sighed.

"Fine, what is it?" The brunet eyes stared at Lelouch for a moment before speaking.

"Why are you doing this?" Amethyst eyes held a brief look of surprise but he was quick to shake it away.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Why don't you to go see Gino? The police haven't made any progress and we don't know anything. I mean what if they come back and he gets hurt again or worse, what if he ends up like Rol-"

"They won't come back for him." Lelouch stated harshly as he stood up once more. Suzaku frowned.

"And how do you know that?" There was silence.

"Because."

"Because is not an answer Lelouch. You can't just hope they won't come back."

"I'm not hoping, I know." Suzaku stood up now.

"How?" His tone was serious and Lelouch hesitated because of it.

"Because they don't want him…" Emerald eyes narrowed as they continued to stare at the smaller boy's back.

"… And who exactly do they want then?" There was another empty silence. "Lelouch answer me!" Still nothing. Walking up to the dark haired boy, Suzaku roughly grabbed him by the shoulder and spun him around. Lelouch diverted his gaze to the floor, and continued to stare as though the linoleum tiles would tell him the meaning of life.

"Look at me." Lelouch waited a moment before obeying. The taller boy's gaze was serious but wasn't one of anger. "Who are they after? Who could be so important that they had to kill and torture our friends?" His voice became louder as he spoke and Lelouch resisted the sudden urge to flinch at the tone.

"They… they want…" He paused. "They want… You." Suzaku's eyes went wide as he stepped back and Lelouch once again directed his solemn gaze at the floor.

"They… me?" Lelouch nodded but did not change his gaze. "How do you know?"

"… My uncle… he runs The Code of Lies… the… the gang that attacked the." Suzaku was quiet for a moment.

"Why didn't you tell the police?" At this, the dark haired boy looked up.

"It's my family… I can't rat on them."

"Why not? They don't seem to care much about you anyway! Employing you in a brothel, treating you like property, you're not happy with them Lelouch. How can you call people who use you your family?" Suzaku was on his feet once again and shouting in the younger boys face. Lelouch's eyes were dagger-like slits by now as he stared up at the brunet, unintimidated.

"You don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Who the hell do you think you are talking like you know me and what I'm going through? You're just a spoiled brat who was too full of pride to accept the things his loving family wanted to give him. You wouldn't have to work a day of your life if you chose to but no, you just couldn't leave it at that could you? Do you think that anybody wants to have to work in places like where we do? Wants to live in cities like this? Maybe, unlike you, some people don't have a fucking choice, did you ever think about that?" Suzaku just stood there as he let Lelouch continue to yell, for some reason he felt as though maybe it was something he needed to do.

"I hate my fucking family but you, you have the best family anyone could ask for. They love you more than anything, even if you're not their biological child, they're your parents. Have you seen my parents? That's right, you haven't, because they're gone. You have your sister who loves you, doesn't she! My brothers they…" Suddenly the dark haired boy's voice trailed off as he continued in a soft, almost, whisper, that Suzaku had to strain to hear. "You… you have Nunally now, so why can't you just be happy…?" Suzaku frowned. What was he talking about… why was he talking like he knows them?

"Lelouch…" He sighed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell like that. I was just frustrated I guess." The mentioned boy tried to smile.

"Yeah… I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier." The brunet nodded.

"It's okay… I mean I guess I understand why you didn't but…" He gripped his head tightly as he looked to the floor. "This is all my fault. What happened to Gino. Why Anya was sad. Rolo… Rolo's dead because of me!"

"No!" Suzaku looked up startled by the outburst.

"What happened isn't your fault. You didn't know they were looking for you and Rolo and Gino care about you enough not to give you away! If it's anyone's fault it's your paren-" Lelouch quickly clamped his hands over his mouth, but Suzaku had already caught it.

"My… parents? What do they have to do with this?" Lelouch bit his lip; the boy needed to know the truth, but…

"Your parents, they... have something my uncle wants. That he's been searching for, for a very long time." The tan face held a serious expression.

"What is it?" Lelouch shook his head as he sat down.

"I don't know." There was a long silence in the small apartment, and it was not until half an hour later that Suzaku finally spoke.

"Hey Lelouch?" The boy looked up from where he had rested his head on his hand, allowing his companion to think over the information he was just told.

"Hm?"

"Why did you come here?" The questioned boy raised a confused eyebrow.

"What do you mean?"

"After I told you I liked you… You dragged me up here and started…" The boys face went red, but he quickly shook off the feeling. "But you never told me if you liked me back, so do you or are you just-"

"I don't know." Green eyes blinked.

"Huh?" Lelouch simply stared ahead, refusing to make eye contact.

"I don't know if I like you back or not. I just… I guess I needed something to help clear my mind…"

"So I'm just something to help you vent your stress and pass the time?" Lelouch looked at the boy quickly when hearing the tone of his voice.

"No I- That's not what I-" But Suzaku wasn't listening.

"What else do you want to tell me huh? That you're actually my long lost brother? That Gino is an alien sent to destroy earth?"

"Suzaku what are you talking abo-"

"Shut up! I don't want to hear it anymore! All it's been since I've got here is lies and half trusting glances! Nobody here wants to be close to me, trust me, or tell me anything! Not even when my life… no! My family's lives could be in danger. I may be innocent to all of you and, I'll admit, naive sometimes. But that doesn't mean you can just push me around and treat me like some toy you'll keep around while it entertains you and then just throw away later. I just don't- I…" Suzaku paused and now it was Lelouch's turn to keep silent, but mainly because he didn't know what to say.

"Get out." The voice was stern, cold and unwavering, and Lelouch did not know how to respond; it was the first time he had seen Suzaku like this.

"Didn't you hear me? I said, get out!" Leouch simply nodded.

"Alright." As he made his way to the door Suzaku simply continued to stare at the floor, his eyes dark. Stopping right before he left, the slim boy looked back, a sincere expression on his face.

"I… I'm really sorry Suzaku… for everything." And just like that, the two once again found themselves alone.