Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

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We sat on that damned bench for what seemed like hours, just talking and drinking and bullshitting our time away- it was almost as if I had no debt, we had no bad blood, like it wasn't twenty degrees out… like we both weren't single, obviously lonely people bonding over a loveless Christmas Eve. He said something funny about my dad's deputy sheriff, who had been the same curly-haired, Type A spazz for the last decade, and I found myself laughing loudly. But it wasn't just that… I was laughing at the entire situation. Here we were, years later and in reversed roles, and somehow we were still acting like the glue that kept our universe together. Fate was a bitch, wasn't she? I was still laughing silently to myself when his hand found its way to my face. I froze on contact, not sure what was about to happen. That was the insanely beautiful thing about being with Jacob… everything had a way of feeling bran new, even if you had been doing it for the last hundred years.

But when his finger merely brushed a strand of hair away from my lip, I blushed and averted my eyes. Why was it so disappointing that he didn't reach in and kiss me? You're the one that doesn't want to complicate things, you're the one that walked out on his proposition, you're the one giving mixed signals!

I couldn't even look up at him anymore when my mind started going there- him, bare chested, sliding up and over me, kissing and nipping and teasing… I snapped out of my thoughts when he scooted closer to me, hands shoved into his pea coat's pocket. Our elbows were touching and even though there were plenty of layers separating us, I could feel his body heat through the small touch. "Do you think we would've had kids by now?" I tried not to let the shock show on my face at his blunt question. I took a peek at him to gauge his mood, because Jake had a way of saying things with his eyes better than he did with his mouth.

Did he mean it in a funny or serious way?

Trying not to mess the mood up, I cleared my throat and put on a little smile. "You mean you'd make room in your penthouse and sports car for car seats and cribs?" I was attempting to be playful but his was face was stone cold serious, suddenly sparking a deep-rooted irritation within me. Oh, so now he wanted to act like rich Romeo, but he couldn't find this kind of character within him when we were actually together? "You hate kids." I snapped, failing to suppress the bitterness in my voice. I always wanted a kid or two of my own when I was younger… back when I thought I found the man of my dreams and assumed life would be a breeze.

Four Years Ago-

"Jacob?" I called his name sweetly, our fingers intertwined and his head in my lap. It was my favorite thing to say. When he looked up in response, putting aside his mechanic handbook for a second, I felt my heartbeat fasten its pace. "What do you think we'll name our son and daughter?" The question was on my mind nonstop since the first time we had sex and I finally needed to know what his answer would be.

But all the little schoolgirl dreams I had entertained were acutely crushed when his face twisted in that cruel sneer. I hated that look he made- he wasn't my love or my Jakey-boo when he made that mean look. "What the fuck is wrong with you, Isabella?" I hated when he cussed at me… it made me feel cheap and empty in places I didn't wanna feel.

I opened and closed my mouth countless times, no longer staring into the loving, caring eyes of my boyfriend… someone else stepped in his place. Someone mean and angry! "Wha… why are you-" I couldn't even get out a complete question before tears started to well in my eyes. My dad had warned me about boys and the way they treated girls once they got what they wanted… but Jake was different, wasn't he?

"You wanna be like these other welfare broads, hustling the government for paychecks? You wanna have a bunch of kids we can't afford?" Jacob's face was taut with a temper he barely knew how to control… I usually avoided him when he had that face, mostly because I had heard stories of what happened when he got too mad. Actually, I had seen a few rare instances myself. "Are you…" he let his question trail off and turned to look at me oddly, as if just noticing I was the ugliest girl in all of Forks.

"Jacob…" I reached a hand out to him, but he was up off the couch and across the room before I could get to him. We were usually in sync, on the same page, thinking each other's thoughts; but that night I was getting nothing but scrambled messages and wild riddles that I couldn't follow.

"No." He said more to himself, his eyes cast downward. "No, you're not ruining this, Bella!" He screamed at me, his mood swings in full force that night.

"What? Ruining what?" I screeched in return, not sure if I should try to book it to my car or stay in a defenseless, calm state on his ragged couch-for-a-bed.

"This!" My boyfriend screamed in return, gesturing between the both of us. "Our future and happiness- no unborn little shit is gonna ruin what we have going for us." And then he went still and quiet, so dangerously quiet so my tears were mixed with little beads of sweat seeping out of my pours. I had never seen him like this. Lots of people said he was crazy and dangerous and rotten… but I had never seen with my own eyes before. "You get like this on purpose?"

Did I get like what exactly? "Jake I don't know what you mean!" I spluttered through tears. It was so stupid of me to ask him a question like that… I should have known he'd have an adverse reaction, Mother Hale was always complaining about men not being able to have civilized conversations! But for some inane, idiotic reason I had seen Jacob above all the rest. He was the best thing I ever had, he was the love of my life, he was… everything. "You're scaring me." I whispered, afraid he might, I don't know, hurt me?

"Are you pregnant, Isabella?" His question took the wind right out of me, and when he asked a second time there was no kindness or understanding. Jacob had the most cruel, unforgiving facial expression on… it was like looking into the eyes of a monster. Then he advanced towards me, his fingers digging in my arm and twisting until I choked out a 'no'. "Don't you lie to me, Bella! Did you do something stupid?"

"No! Jake, please stop! I'm not pregnant!" I cried out, already seeing a purplish color on my forearm where his dark fingers had been. But he released me then, only to bring my face towards his.

"Good." That word was like acid on his tongue and I flinched at the way it came out. Good. He doesn't want you to ever have his kids, Bella, because you wouldn't be a good mom anyway- he probably knows way prettier and smarter girls at college and wants them to have his babies… I couldn't hold in the tears and they fell silently over my cheeks. "Stop that." He barked down at me, wiping them with rough fingers. "Because even if you were pregnant, it wouldn't be mine." Before that evening, I hadn't known a heart could actually hurt. But mine did in that very moment.

I would never cheat on him, he had to know that! He was my first and would damn sure be my last! It was like he was verbally punching me in my chest, and with each word a new, fresh blow came.

"You're barely eighteen, Bella, you don't know what responsibility is. I take care of the condoms and make sure I pull out before…" Jake's face slightly darkened in a reddish color when he realized he had said too much. I looked away with a mortified expression, not wanting to hear another word. He never talked like that in front of me, no boy had. It was rude and disgusting! "If you don't wanna hear me talk like that then don't bring that stuff up ever again."

"Like what, Jake?" I sent him a concentrated look, my chin jutting out. "Why are you so afraid of babies?"

Jacob scoffed. "I'm not afraid."

I picked at a loose thread on his makeshift bed, brining my legs under me. "They're not so bad, you know. One day, when we're settled and happy, we could have as many kids as we want."

Jacob let out a long, cruel laugh that did its very job of making me feel stupid and inconsequential. "Listen to yourself, Isabella." He lit a cigarette, even though he knew I hated them, and took a short puff. "Worry less about snot-nosed little idiots and focus on school. I want us to get rid of all our money problems, not make more." Jake took another drag, this time squinting his beautiful eyes in weariness. I wanted to be spiteful and say 'my family doesn't have any, but you sure do' but then that would be dragging his innocent, loving family into this and I would never do that. "You want us to be like my Pops and Nya, then? Dirt poor with two grubby shit machines we can't even afford to feed? Pretend to care about their childish antics and retarded drawings-"

"I happen to love JJ and Joey!" I interjected angrily, snapping my face out of his hold. "I'm sorry that you don't. I'm sorry that you don't love anyone." My hands were balled into such tight fists that my nails were leaving tiny half-moon indentations in my palm. "I'm sorry you're so selfish and you know what?" My mouth was running away with me; I was so angry and frustrated that I had let him talk to me the way he just did.

First saying I would cheat, second saying I would purposely try and get pregnant, thirdly, and most of all, talking down on his own blood! He could say whatever to me, but I refused to let him talk about his brothers like that. It was bad enough that he had a damn fit about all those food cans I brought… but now he really had gone too far.

Jacob flicked out his cigarette and took a menacing step towards me, landing right before me. "What?" And with just that word my knees started to quiver. Don't back down, Bella; be as cruel as he was! Give him a taste of his medicine! That's what your parents would have done to each other…

So I straightened my posture and titled my head at him, having seen Rosalie do it to a million boys before. "I guess I never loved you in the first place."

And well, you know how that fight ended.

Present-

"…I don't hate kids." Jake's nose wrinkled at the faint memory of our first conversation about them, or at least I hoped he took even a minuscule walk down memory lane- because that fight of ours played in my head over and over again for the last four years. It was the first time he ever put his hands on me, and it broke my damn heart.

"Really?" I snorted in disbelief, suddenly feeling very bitter about the topic. It was like our roles were reversed! Back then he was the angry, bitter, poor one and I had everything figured out… now we were on opposite sides of the world.

Jacob sighed deeply, taking a long drink from his beer. "Bella, you gotta know… I was just faking it."

The drink caught in my throat and I spluttered, nearly coughing out my lungs as I tried to wrap my head around his words. "Faking what?" I mean I knew he had a little problem down there but with a little creativity, he didn't seem to have much of an issue…

His face seemed to loose a little color, as though the thought made him physically sick. "That night in mid-October when you brought up having kids… I was faking being mad at first. I was actually scared shitless."

I nodded in understanding, surprised he knew the exact month all that happened. I remembered Divers Cliffs, sure, but I had always chalked the baby fight up to our raging hormones and a little bit of his temper. There were countless weeks between that fight and our final hoo-rah… did he count them or something? "But that was all back when I thought I'd never be able to afford children. Now, look at me." He had a cheeky smirk that didn't quite reach his eyes as he opened his arms to me, as if saying 'I'm way hotter and have more money now' with just one gesture. But I knew him, especially his heart, and I didn't see someone so different. I still saw the goofiness and modest mannerisms and that smile.

And I certainly noticed the emptiness.

"Yeah." I said breathily, staring openly at the beautiful man before me. "Look at you now." My words hung in the dank hair around us and suddenly, there was nothing but us- we made the world of Seattle stand still. In our world, there weren't any ringing car alarms or static radios or barking dogs… there was just me and him, and the yellow overhead light and that damn bus bench. We existed purely for each other and for a second or two I wanted it to stay that way, forever.

A/N: Cutting it short here.

I really appreciate the feedback I'm getting for this little gem… I never thought it would get off the ground but surprisingly you readers actually enjoy what I write! : ).