Chapter 10: Forgiveness, Acceptance

The day was rather uneventful and Natalia had taken the time with Jade choosing to avoid her to look around at his quarters and be generally nosy. She didn't know much about him, but her search didn't really reveal anything new. Settling herself at his desk with a sigh she drummed her fingers on it's edge in irritation.

Everything had been rather normal, papers with the sort of boring reports and words you'd expect in this sort of position, the usual tools and tricks you'd see from someone of such rank and little else. She didn't even find any fonon research stashed somewhere, the lack of personal effects she expected, but not the lack of research given how much he seemed to augment himself with magic.

"Are you done digging through my desk?" Jade always managed to arrive and scare her enough to make her jump. The door had been left a bit open and it was easy enough to be quiet on a ship moving across the ocean, though she figured if it had been perfectly still he'd of still snuck up on her.

"Yes, nothing interesting anyway." Natalia returned with a scowl, holding a hand over her chest after the jump. "Could you at least make a little noise so I know you are coming?"

"If you weren't lingering in my office I wouldn't have to." A shrug at her request before he shooed her from his seat and returned to his desk. "We should arrive at the cave to see what Dist is doing within the hour."

"You grew up with Dist right?" Natalia asked, not sure if she pried too much if he'd rush off again. Standing nearby and watching him.

"Yes, though he's fallen rather far since then." Jade commented. "He had to have known we'd be coming however so it's likely it'll be dangerous, I can go in alone."

"I'm not letting you leave me." Natalia retorted with a pout, crossing her arms over her chest. I'm quite capable with a bow and I can heal to boot. Perhaps I'm not as good as you and most of the others in hand to hand but don't act like I can't hold my own cause you know I can."

He held up his hands lightly as she went into attack mode. "All right, calm down. It was just a suggestion. No need to get so testy."

The Princess eyed him quietly, chewing her lip as she considered her next question. Sure he could have just run off again but either way she'd get the answer she wanted. "Dist knew the same woman...your teacher. He's the one that replicated her isn't he?"

All the time they traveled together and Natalia had never shown a particular interest in him. Of course it'd never been just the pair of them and she could get chatty at times so it was possibly just him being the only person she knew well on crew. It had been changed since their days chasing after Ashe and the rest of Van's goons. Still, he had to admit he was growing less fond of the new curiosity concerning him Wondering if she really was starting to consider him beyond simple friendship given her fresh interest.

"Yes. Dist was possibly worse than I when it came to Dr. Nebilim and continued to try to replicate her long after I gave it up. He's the only other person that could have even possessed the data in which to do so." Jade explained, sounding tired. This was a curse he wasn't sure he'd ever be free of. He played too much with things he should have left very much alone.

"It's not your fault." Natalia observed, she seemed to have quite a knack for diplomacy given how naturally empathetic she was. It was hard to be angry with her, even if she was wrong it was what you'd expect anyone to say.

"It is not personal Princess, but I doubt that. Dist wouldn't have been able to learn the technology if I hadn't created it. I appreciate your kindness but do not fool yourself. I have earned the nickname that everyone's given me. My actions have caused an incredible amount of death to the world, nearly it's destruction. For all the..."

He broke off as he glanced up from his hands to realize she was wrapping her arms around him and holding him. As much of a silent acceptance of what he'd done as he figured he could get, even if it was undeserved didn't mean he failed to appreciate it.

"It's not your fault." She repeated. "For every man killed with a sword is it the fault of the first blacksmith that chose to fold metal? Just because you invented something, doesn't mean it couldn't be used for good Jade. Do you forget all that Luke was to us? Perhaps he was foolish at times, but he was our friend, and his sacrifice saved everyone. You could say your discoveries doomed the world...but seems to me it could be easily argued that they saved it as well."

Jade was, for a rare instant, uncertain of how to reply. Certainly he'd heard similar arguments before but rarely had people directly brought Luke's name into it. Peony had tried to say something akin to that, but he apparently didn't have the gift for tongue Natalia seemed to, on rare occasion, possess. It was difficult to find a way to just push off what she'd said. Then there was the fact she had her arms around him. Barely squeezing but enough for him to pick up the comfort such a gesture was meant to convey. It was almost nostaligic in a way he couldn't put his finger on and yet as the seconds ticked on, he was starting to feel both awkward and yet that he didn't want her to leave the short peaceful moment.

"How the hell do you always smell like cologne anyway? I didn't see any in here and I searched pretty well. It's not even the same as last time. I want to be able to just have whatever perfume I feel like at the time." She changed the topic for him with the sudden question. Probably so he wouldn't have to say it was becoming uncomfortable. Leaning back against his desk and shaking her head at him, perhaps a little envious.

"So you want me to show you how to augment your fonon slots to put off cologne?" He fell back into teasing her, it was easier than dwelling on what had happened. Not his best shot, but at least keeping in not talking about himself.

"Nooooo." She drew out the word with a sigh. "I didn't say that, I said perfume...and could you show me?"

Her interest perking helped her put aside the sarcastic tone of voice, her body straightening a bit as she inputted the other part of what he'd said after dismissing his teasing. Curious if she could actually learn. That would be much easier than having a bunch of perfume bottles to carry when she traveled on missions for her kingdom.

"It is a tad complex..." He commented, eyeing her and the seriousness she seemed to maintain over such a trivial detail. "And probably a bad idea as it's rather dangerous and any mishaps can leave permanent damage. I'm sure we don't need an inner kingdom war starting because I tried to show you how to be more vain."

She rolled her eyes at him. "Maybe I'm not a genius like you, but I can use the seventh fonon and I always got top marks in my classes. I'm sure I could manage to learn it without blowing myself up. Besides, who better to learn vanity from."

"I'll think about it. As is we don't have the time for such detailed study right now." Jade commented thoughtfully. Given even the small piece of mind she'd offered him relenting a little was the least he could do. "Are you ready to take on anything that might decide to come at us when we get there?"

"As much as I'll ever be." She said with a shrug. "Your ship here is impressive but it's not really a place to practice archery. I'll make due though. I think I will head up on deck for some fresh air though, it gets stuffy down here and I don't want to be sick before we get there."

Jade nodded to her, watching her leave and then sighing to himself as he relaxed in his chair. Removing his glasses so he could rub his eyes and chuckle a bit, he was going insane. Here he'd thought for a few moments Natalia might have some sort of crush on him and she was just trying to be kind. Perhaps Anise was right and he was just starting to go senile after so many years with such a keen mind.

Though he wondered if the rest of his friends were right, if he should forgive himself. How he could do that was another question...it was hard not to see red on his hands given the stain of his crimson gaze. He had to try to be better, if not for everyone else, then for Nebilim. Peony had pointed out only his last visit that she wouldn't have wanted him to be unhappy forever over one large, massive mistake.

Harsh, but that was occasionally the Emperor's way, and to a point it showed he cared. He didn't have a chance to dwell however as the ship came to a halt and the intercom reported to him that they'd arrived to the cave but there were no signs of activity they could spot. Work to be done he pushed aside the self-reflection for later, he had a decade or so of practice with that so it was easy.

End Chapter

Yay I got to finish an update for my birthday. It was lovely to have a little time to myself and I've really been wanting to continue this. I will finish it someday dang it! I give up on dating my posts though, it's just discouraging to look at for me.

-Aura

To my reviewers:

TechNomaNcer28 - Glad you kept up with me through all of the constant roadblocks for this fic, hope you keep reading.

CBK - I think so. Jade is the best.

Grappling Fancies - Yeah I'm just a fan of Natalia/Jade. It's odd but I think they work in their own way.

Inuyoshie - Did you ever write your own story with Jade? You should link me so I can read it. I with they made O.C. a searchable name in all the name lists. It would just be nice.