He didn't deserve to be alive

He didn't deserve to be alive. Not after what he'd put her through. Squall buried his face in his hands. What had he done? Last night he'd ran after the grief-stricken woman, but to no avail. It was as if she'd vanished, but then she did know Deling City like the back of her hand. The expression on her face when she saw him with Quistis…it was like he had stuck a knife in her heart. Part of him wanted to believe that Rinoa deserved it. She had lied to him after all. Yet he knew that thought was completely untrue. She had loved him, and in a strange way, her lying to him was because she loved him. She'd explained that just before she darted out of the house. Why couldn't he have believed all that before he had to go and make the biggest mistake of his life?

He heard the door click open as Zell walked into the room.

"Hey Squall." He nervously greeted the singer, "Seifer kind of explained the whole umm situation to me."

Squall looked up at him without saying a word.

"Obviously you still care for her, otherwise you wouldn't be beating yourself up so much about this. Also, I know that she lied to you and all, but…maybe it was only because she cared for you so much. Honestly, she seems really sweet and you could tell just by the way that she looks at you that she's crazy about you. I think that's reason enough to forgive her."

Squall smiled a small smile. He'd already come to that same conclusion long ago, but it was kind of nice to hear it spoken by someone else.

"Yeah, Zell, I know. I've already forgiven her, but now…I'm the one who needs forgiveness. That seems too much to ask for though…I wouldn't be able to forgive me if I was her."

Zell frowned, which was a small rarity all in itself.

"Well I came in here to be all optimistic, hoping it would rub off on you but umm…how exactly are you gonna go about this? Like what you did was bad…like REAL bad."

"Shut up! I know already!"

The drummer laughed uneasily, moving slowly towards the door so that if the singer chased him, he'd have a head start.

"Well I have an idea…I don't know if it'll work but it's worth a try." Squall said more calmly. The scowl slightly vanished from his face.

"Cool. Just let me know if I can help."

"…Thanks, Zell."

Zell stared at Squall with his mouth gaping open.

"Did- did you actually…thank me?" he whispered.

Squall rolled his eyes.

"Whatever."

"YOU DID! I heard it!" Zell opened the door, looking around the room with shifty eyes. "I'm getting out of here before something blows up!"

Squall watched the drummer run off. He decided he'd follow suit in a much less dramatic fashion. On his way down the hall Seifer stepped out of his room. A tense moment enveloped the two men. Neither had exchanged the slightest word since the previous night. Squall waited for the blonde to make some smug comment, yet surprisingly none came.

"Seifer," he said slowly, "about our T.V. performance today-"

"You're going to change it for her, aren't you?"

"I'm that predictable?"

"Of course you are, how else do you think I always kick your ass in our fights?"

"Whatever. So are you okay with me changing it? I know it's supposed to be a big deal for us…but this is really important to me."

"Just tell me what you want me to play."

"Rinoa, I really don't think you should do this."

"No, dad, I need to."

"Do you want me to help?"

"Thanks, but I can do this on my own."

Caraway sighed in defeat.

"Alright. Just remember, feel free to ask me for anything if you need it."

Rinoa smiled for a moment.

"You know, this whole being nice to me thing is well…nice."

Her father chuckled.

"I agree." He said as he turned on the big screen television. "Perhaps they're telling the weather on the news."

Some woman was talking about Deling City being a home to more bands than any other city.

Rinoa frowned.

" And of course this is the city I had to be born in…" she muttered.

"Rinoa, I'm so sorry about what happened with that boy. His actions are inexcusable. I tell you, if I ever run in to him I'll give him a piece of my mind. After that he'll be lucky if he can walk. I didn't attend Galbadia Military School for 12 years and learn nothing, you know."

The young woman tried to laugh, but it came out as a strange type of sob. Just thinking about last night made her want to burst into tears. Not a tear would be permitted to drop from her eyes. Rinoa had decided resolutely that Squall Leonhart didn't deserve anymore tears from her. He wasn't worth it.

Rinoa returned to folding the clothes she had sprawled out on the couch. During her task she half listened to the anchorwoman. Apparently some band called Grieving Lions was playing at the station to promote their new album, and the performance would be looped to VH1.

"Speak of the devil." Caraway spoke angrily.

"Huh?" Rinoa asked him.

Twirling to face the screen, all the air left Rinoa's lungs in a rush.

Squall stood in the center of the bright white stage. Seifer was seated on a stool behind him, an acoustic guitar rested on his lap.

Squall brought the mic to his lips.

"Hello everyone. I know that you're all expecting to hear the single off our new album, but there's been a slight change in plans. Today I'm going to be playing a song I've been working on called 'Angel'.

The young man picked up his own acoustic guitar and sat down on a tall stool. Him and Seifer began strumming the opening notes.

Rinoa remembered this melody. It was simple yet enchanting.

She watched the man as he began to sing.

It's been so long angel, since I've last seen you

You took all you're love and then you flew

The nights are cold, the day is long

Yea, its been so long since I've heard your song

This knight is no one without your love

Now I spend my nights listening for your wings flapping from above

I apologize for not being the best of me for you

Darling when it comes to you, nothing but the best could do

Angel please come back to save me

Only together can we break free

From all of this

Shattered blades and feathers are all I see

Now Rinoa remembered. This was the song Squall played for her the night she'd confessed her love for him. He'd been so nervous about playing it, as if it had been some kind of secret. That must've been because the song was for her all along. She closed her eyes and fell into the state of rapture his songs produced in her. His voice and the melody interlaced into a sound fitting for only heaven. The song came to an end and she slowly opened her eyes.

"Before we go," Squall said, "There's something I want to say to someone very important to me…Rinoa Heartilly, I'm so sorry for everything. I'm sorry I hadn't believed in you. I'm sorry for being weak."

She couldn't believe it. He was bearing his soul for her on national television. This was supposed to be his big chance to set his musical career off to a great start. How could he throw that all away just for her?

"I understand why you hadn't told me the truth before." He continued. "I realize how much you cared for me and I can't believe I blew it. I know you might never be able to forgive me, but please understand, Rinoa, you're the most important thing to me in this world. I love you."

He still loved her.

"Rinoa?" Caraway asked nervously. "How do you feel about this? He does seem to be deeply sorry, but I don't know…"

Rinoa walked over to the T.V. and turned it off.

" What a complete waste of his time."

Quietly she returned to her folding as if nothing out of the ordinary had taken place.