"Helena," Myka protests with a smile on her face. Helena continues kissing Myka's neck, making her moan. "Seriously Helena. We are parked outside the B&B. Anyone could walk outside and see us."

"My love, you do remember that we lived there together for three years, don't you? Everyone has heard far more of you than they ever wanted to."

"I am not that loud."

Helena kisses Myka's lips. "If you say so. I trust that you'll make this up to me once we put Lizzie to bed."

"You're demanding now that we're engaged."

"I don't believe that too much has changed in the last three hours."

Myka smirks. "We did find a few new surfaces in our house to christen."

"To think that we never made love in the garage before," Helena says, her eyes twinkling.

"I couldn't wait until we made it into the house."

"I noticed."

"You can't blame me after that proposal," Myka says, completely unable to keep from grinning while talking about her engagement.

"Well yes, that was my primary motivation of course."

"Of course," Myka agree, still smiling widely at Helena. "Because you normally have so much trouble getting my pants off."

Helena smiles wickedly. "I am rather skilled at that aren't I?"

"Yes, and always so modest."

"If it will make you feel better, you are welcome to remove my trousers now," Helena teases.

"Come on. Lizzie's waiting for us."

"That isn't fair. You know I can't resist our girl."

"Yeah, I do."

They get out of the car and walk towards the bed and breakfast. Helena intertwines her fingers with Myka's, feeling the cold metal of Myka's ring. It makes Helena smile giddily to know that this woman will always be hers and to know that she will always belong to Myka.

"I love you," Helena whispers reverently into the night air.

Those words still makes Myka feel warm and safe and content. "I love you too," Myka replies, stilling their movements so that she can kiss Helena.

Helena thinks of how grateful she is to have found Myka and how truly happy Myka has made her. She thinks of how tonight has felt so very perfect.

Myka watches as Helena's smile falls and her eyes appear full of pain. Myka understands wordlessly and takes Helena's hands in her hers, pressing their joined hands to her chest and pulling Helena closer. Helena is so blissfully happy, and Myka knows that Helena feels the aching longing for Christina more acutely with such joy. Myka knows that it is still not easy for Helena to accept that she could be so happy when her daughter is dead.

"I'm so sorry that Christina isn't here."

It helps to hear Myka speak of Christina, to acknowledge that she will always a part of Helena's family, of their family, because even if Myka never met Christina she can't help but love any child of Helena's. Helena moves her hands so that they cup Myka's cheeks. Helena smiles softly and nods, knowing that words are absolutely superfluous.

They share another kiss before Helena tells Myka, "Righty-ho, let's go tell everyone our news, Mrs. Bering-Wells."

"Are we going to hyphenate?" Myka asks as Helena slips an arm around her waist.

"I think it would be lovely to have the same name as Lizzie."

"I agree." Myka knows that this is ridiculous, because she and Helena and their daughter are already a family, but somehow the engagement feels like it makes things different. "Thank you for asking Helena. I didn't know that I wanted to get married, but it just feels so right."

"Yes it does." Helena allows the joy to consume her again, allows herself to get lost in the feeling of Myka pressed tight against her side so very thrilled to be Helena's wife.

"There they are!" Claudia tells Lizzie when Myka and Helena walk into the living room.

"What are you still doing up?!" Myka asks Lizzie in a cheerful voice as she takes her daughter from Claudia's lap.

"Hello love," Helena says pressing a kiss to Lizzie's forehead before turning to Claudia. "I am so sorry our little night owl kept you up."

"Don't worry about it. She hasn't been any trouble. We were just playing with Artie's Farnsworth."

Myka chuckes. "My little inventor."

"She really is crazy smart," Claudia says. "And while I know that Lizzie has two genius moms to teach her everything, I take my job as godmother seriously. And if that means that Lizzie's education comes at the expense of a little drool on Artie's Farnsworth, I can get behind that."

"You are a magnificent godmother," Helena says with a smile at Claudia. "There is no one that I would rather have as a roll model for Lizzie."

"You've got pretty low standards HG," Claudia jokes, but she is just as pleased as ever to be complimented by Helena. Even as Claudia has gotten to know Helena better, she still can't help but continue idolize the author a bit.

"Oh my god!" Claudia exclaims, looking over at where Myka is bouncing a broadly smiling Lizzie on her hip. "What is that?"

"What's what?" Myka asks with feigned ignorance.

Claudia reaches out for Myka's hand. "How could you not tell me?!"

"We were going to," Myka promises.

"This is the first thing you say. Not 'hello,' not 'thanks for baby-sitting.' Next time, try leading with, 'hey guesswhat Claud, we're engaged.'"

"Noted, but I don't think we need to worry about a next time," Myka says looking over at Helena, who is simply standing beside her and smiling.

"Right, well then you can make it up to me by making me a bridesmaid. Now let me hug the brides to be." Claudia grabs the two women in front of her and pulls them into her arms. "Your mommies are getting hitched Liz!" she tells the little girl.

"Myka wake up."

Myka continues whimpering and thrashing, and Helena reaches over and shakes her partner. Myka's eyes dart around her bedroom disoriented. "It's ok my love," Helena soothes, "It was just a dream."

Myka's hands fly to her head, checking for the once absent curls. Helena puts her hands over Myka's, stilling their frantic movements. "You're fine. It was just a dream, I promise."

Myka can still feel the nausea pressing in on her, still feel pain, still see her daughter clutching at her not understanding why mama couldn't get up and play. And then Myka is rushing from the bed, emptying the contents of her stomach into the toilet bowl.

Helena is beside Myka a moment later with a glass of water and a comforting hand on her back. "No," Myka says as memories flood her mind.

Helena instantly realizes her mistake. She helps Myka from the floor wordlessly, feels Myka shaking from the adrenaline leaving her body. Helena remains close while Myka brushes her teeth with shaky hands.

"Shall we have a cup of tea? Or do you want to have a peek at Lizzie?" Helena asks once Myka leaves the bathroom, knowing that watching their daughter is comforting to both of them.

"Can we just get back in bed?"

"Of course."

Helena watches Myka chew at her lip, brows knitted together, concentrating hard on not letting her emotions get the better of her. Helena waits and hopes that Myka will begin talking, but Helena simply waits and waits and watches as Myka slowly tries to rebuild an impassive mask. Helena presses her hand to the back of Myka's neck, knowing that the touch will be enough to make it impossible for Myka to wall everything away from Helena.

"Myka darling. Please talk to me," Helena whispers, pressing her shoulder against Myka's and bringing their faces next to each other.

Myka feels her resolve wavering. "I'm sorry," she whispers as the first tears slip down her cheeks.

Helena presses her lips to tear stained cheeks before asking, "Whatever for?"

The caring and intimacy still startle Myka sometimes even after five years with Helena. Myka can count on one hand the number of times that anyone besides her partner has seen her cry. Myka sucks in a few shaky breaths.

"It's ok," Helena whispers, "Please just talk to me."

Myka knows that hearing about her dream will upset Helena, and that is the very last thing that Myka ever wants to do, but especially on the night that they got engaged. "I'm fine. Let's just go back to sleep and talk in the morning." Helena glares letting Myka know that simply ignoring this isn't going to be an option. Myka knows by now not to argue with a determined Helena. "I was dreaming about the cancer recurring."

It's earlier than usual. The dreams normally start a few weeks before Myka has her oncology appointment, and Helena hates the idea that her partner is already consumed by her anxieties a month and a half before the appointment.

Helena pulls Myka against her chest. "Tell me."

"We really don't need to talk about this tonight," Myka insists.

"I wish you would. I know that you aren't going to be able to sleep if you lie there and think about your dream."

"I was dying," Myka says, hating how much she knows this all will upset Helena. "It was awful. I was weak and in pain, and I couldn't do anything for myself. You were taking care of me," Myka says with a sob. "I was in a diaper and you had to change me. Lizzie couldn't understand anything that was happening, but she knew that I wasn't taking care of her, that I was letting her down. She thought I didn't love her."

"That will never happen Myka. Lizzie could never doubt your love for her. Not for an instant."

"I don't want her to watch me die like that." Myka is crying against Helena's chest, clutching at Helena who is running soothing fingers through Myka's hair. "I don't want to suffer," Myka acknowledges feeling selfish for doing so.

"It was just a dream my love. You're ok."

"What if I'm not?"

Helena hears the question for what it is. "What would you want?" Helena asks, though she can hardly breathe as she lets herself think about this.

"If I'm dying?"

"Yes," Helena whispers as tears fall down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry Helena," Myka says, turning to look Helena in the eyes. "I won't leave you. I promise." The words tumble from Myka's lips, desperate to erase the pain from Helena's face.

Helena shakes her head. "We can talk about this. It's all right. I can't promise not to cry, but I promise that you can talk to me about dying."

"I don't want to leave you and Lizzie. Please know that."

"Of course I know. But that isn't what we're talking about."

"I just don't want to die like that."

"Ok," Helena says, and somehow Myka feels some of the fear lift. "If you were to decide that you didn't want treatment that would be all right Myka." Myka is overcome by how much she loves Helena, because Myka knows that her partner would want every second together that they could have. But here Helena is promising to accept any choice that Myka makes. "I believe that a person's death is an important part of their life, and I would never wish to take away your control over your life. I love you far too much to take that choice from you."

"Thank you," Myka says as she reaches her hand out to touch Helena's wet cheeks.

Helena smiles reassuringly at Myka, trying desperately to think of this all as a terrible hypothetical conversation. Helena cannot allow herself to think about what she would do if the doctor found a recurrence at Myka's next visit. "I'm your partner Myka. I'm going to be your wife. Please don't ever doubt that I will always be here to support any choice you make. But now, my love, do try to remember that this isn't a decision you need to make. Right now you are healthy."

Myka nods, feeling surprisingly calm and relieved. "Thank you Helena."

Helena sees Myka's need to be cared for now, to know that Helena can be strong for her. So Helena pushes back her own clawing fear and runs her hands up and down Myka's arms and kisses her hair, before pulling Myka against her chest and cradling her tightly. Myka presses her face against Helena and lets herself fall asleep to the feeling of Helena's heartbeat.

Myka wakes up to find Helena and Lizzie beside her. Helena is awake and watching Myka while Lizzie sleeps soundly on Helena's chest.

"Good morning," Myka whispers, a grin blossoming on her face at the sight in front of her.

"Good morning."

"When did Liz wake up?"

"A little before five. She just needed a new nappy." Lizzie had fallen back asleep easily on Helena's shoulder, but Helena had still been unsettled from her conversation with Myka and she hadn't been able to bring herself to set Lizzie back in her crib. Helena had craved the comfort of having the people she loves most surround her, and so she had returned to her bed with Lizzie in tow. Helena hadn't been able to fall back asleep, so she had concentrated on the warm breaths of air that her daughter exhaled and the rhythmic rise and fall of Myka's chest, and Helena had tried to convince herself that as long as her family was here with her she could keep them safe.

"She's getting so big. We're going to be potty training her soon," Myka says, hardly able to believe how quickly her daughter has grown this year.

"Indeed."

Myka inches closer and settles her arm around Helena's waist. "You look tired."

Helena smiles softly, ignores the comment, and rests her hand on the warm skin of Myka's arm. "Did you sleep all right?" Helena asks.

"I slept wonderfully, but I bet you know that since you were watching me all night."

Helena knows that there is no use in denying it. "Sometimes you dream without stirring. I couldn't be certain."

"No more dreams."

"I'm glad darling."

"I'm sorry for upsetting you. I didn't mean to ruin a perfect night."

Helena reaches forward to give Myka a quick kiss. "You did not ruin anything. We discussed something that needed discussing. And we can talk about it more anytime that you feel you need to."

Myka smiles her thanks. "Do you want to take a nap?"

"I'd rather stay awake and cuddle with you and Lizzie."

Myka nuzzles into Helena's neck. "As your fiancé," she tells Helena, loving how the word rolls off her tongue. "I believe that it is my job to indulge you in as much cuddling as you want."

"I love you Myka Bering-Wells."

"And I love you Helena Bering-Wells."