Black Sheep

9. Eyes Open

Lily had not yet broken the good news to her parents. She was rather reluctant to, given the circumstances. They would be happy, of course, but there was the issue of a pregnant Petunia, who would no doubt be convinced that it was a deliberate ploy to steal the attention from her and Vernon. It didn't matter that Lily intended nothing of the sort. Petunia and Vernon could have their celebrations, and she and James would keep the calm and quiet.

James's parents were a different matter. He was incredibly close to them, and couldn't keep anything from them for long. So, the day after revealing to Sirius the impending arrival of his godson, they paid the grandparents-to-be a visit.

Sirius was supposed to be there, had agreed with James the day before that he would. He was not one to miss a visit to the Potters, but all attempts at contacting him that morning had proven futile.

'Lily dear,' Mrs Potter said, snapping her from her reverie. She looked out onto the garden, and when she turned she saw that Mrs. Potter had a cup of tea in hand. She took it gratefully.

'Thank you,' Lily said. 'Sorry, got a bit distracted.'

'Not at all,' said Mrs Potter with a smile. 'Can I get you any sugar?'

'I'm okay, thanks.'

It was nice to be surrounded by such a close family. And the Potters had never been anything but supportive.

There were apparently issues with magical births that she had been blissfully unaware of until beginning her reading. One being that birthing a child was like being a child, and random magical occurrences during childbirth were not uncommon. As such, childbirth was dedicated its own little section in the Statute of Secrecy, stating that magical parents were, under no circumstances, allowed to bring their child into the world in a Muggle hospital. Most magical mothers, a magazine had claimed, elected to have the baby in their own homes, while some would birth in wizarding healthcare centres. It was rare, and usually only in extreme circumstances, that a witch would give birth in St. Mungo's.

Needless to say, this had thrown Lily. She had no idea what magical birth involved, and though she had not let on to James just yet, the thought did worry her a little.

'It's perfectly natural to feel nervous,' Mrs. Potter told her, picking up on her expression. 'If there is anything you need, any advice or anything else, you know where I am.'

Lily thanked her, feeling a rush of gratitude. Of course she would never be left alone.

'Have you given any thought to what birth you would like?' asked Mrs. Potter.

'Mum!' James whined. 'That's a bit of a personal question.'

'Well I don't see anybody else offering advice!'

'It's okay,' Lily said, laughing. Truthfully, she was thankful that she had not had to find a way to bring the topic up herself, for she desperately wanted advice. 'I'm thinking a home birth, and I was going to ask Mary to be my...midwife? Is that the right word here?'

Mrs. Potter smiled widely.

'Lovely!' she said. 'Mary's such a nice girl, you need someone you feel comfortable with. It will be easy, you'll see. James was an easy one and they say it runs in families.'

Lily caught sight of Mr. Potter over his wife's shoulder and stifled a laugh. From the expression he wore, she could tell that the birth had been anything but easy on him. But he swallowed it, and offered her a smile.

'It's the nineteen years after that were a nightmare,' he joked. James gave him a levelling look.

'I should put you in touch with Molly Weasley,' Mrs. Potter said absently as she collected the last round of teacups and made towards the kitchen. 'She's about to have her sixth!'

James sidled up to Lily when his mother had left and wrapped his arms around her. Suddenly, all fears and concerns melted away. They always did when he was around. With him, she felt as though she could take on the world; a baby would be a breeze.

'I'm annoyed that Sirius wasn't here,' she commented. 'Almost as annoyed as I am at you going behind my back.'

'I apologised for that,' said James. He kissed her forehead. 'He said yes, didn't he!'

'I thought you weren't going to give him a choice?'

'Thankfully it never came to that. I do wish he was here though.'

Lily hummed in agreement and leaned into him. The music from the nearby radio washed over them. Mr. Potter was still close by, but they could have been alone for the feeling that bound them.

She had woken that morning feeling uneasy, like something had already gone wrong. James had told her that it was just the hormones, and that she was nervous about breaking the news. Sirius not turning up felt like a second sign. Even now, with everything gone better than they had hoped, she still felt unsure.

'And now, Gilbert Haversham with the news!'

'He did have a bit to drink last night,' Lily pointed out. She smiled as she recalled the gathering at Remus's. It had been so long since they had all spent some time together, and since any of them had let their hair down at all.

'Yeah well, I hope he's got a better excuse than his head's down the toilet,' James said. 'Or I might glue the bloody thing there.'

'-to the attack on St. Mungo's Hospital last night-'

Lily pulled away from James.

'Turn it up!' she asked. Mr. Potter flicked his wand obediently as she rushed to join him on the sofa, and the newsreader's words became clearer.

'-of a Death Eater attack. It is believed that they were in search of Reginald Klein, a recently defected Death Eater who was recovering in the hospital from a previous altercation-'

'Did you know about this?' James asked, joining his wife and his father.

Mr. Potter shook his head.

'First I've heard,' he said. Then he waved a hand to shush his son as he listened intently to the rest of the broadcast.

'There are believed to be no fatalities as of yet, however the attack has left several wounded, including two Aurors and several Healers. All Death Eaters involved in the assault were apprehended when an Auror task force made its timely arrival. Klein himself was not believed to have been injured, thanks to the heroic efforts of the Healer in charge of his case, one Mary Macdonald. Healer Macdonald was unfortunately gravely injured in the attack, more news on her condition as it comes.'

Any happiness she had once felt was now gone. Lily turned to James, and she saw it in his face too.

They were gone before their tea turned cold.

James did not know how they got to the hospital, only that getting in was akin to breaking into the Department of Mysteries.

'No visitors today,' said a rather tense Auror at reception. 'A receptionist will address any issues you have, rest assured the patients are all-'

'Mary Macdonald!' James shouted at him. 'We want to see Mary Macdonald.'

The Auror eyed him suspiciously.

'I'm afraid that's not going to be possible,' he told them.

James could feel anger rising within him. He was about one more denial away from punching this man.

'She's my friend!' he yelled. 'I know she's been hurt and I want to know what the hell is going on!'

Fortunately, at that moment Frank Longbottom appeared out of an adjacent room. James had never been quite so happy to see him.

Lily, however, had not seemed to spot their friend, as she had started on a tirade of her own against the increasingly defeated-looking Auror.

'I warn you,' she seethed. 'I am pregnant. I am pregnant and my best friend is hurt, you do not want to mess with me today!'

Frank looked somewhat bemused as he approached.

'It's alright,' he told the Auror. 'They're good, let them pass.'

The Auror shrugged. Evidently arguing with Frank was not something he was keen on doing - if his fellow Auror agreed to take responsibility, he seemed more than accommodating.

'Thanks, Frank,' James told their saviour.

'No problem,' Frank assured him. 'She's on the fourth floor, just ask someone up there. Sirius is already up there with her.'

Suddenly, he felt an overwhelming amount of guilt over the things he'd said and thought when Sirius hadn't turned up that morning. He'd called him every name under the sun, when he was likely sat at Mary's bedside, worried out of his mind.

'Congratulations, by the way,' Frank said with a secretive smile as the lift doors closed on them.

James could hear Lily fidgeting beside him, but he could not look. Just one glance and he knew that he would crack, knew that he'd start asking things she didn't know how to answer. So he just stood there, thinking about Mary and the last thing he had said to her. He couldn't even remember that. It must have been something banal and throwaway.

The Spell Damage ward was quiet, with a heavy Auror presence. The hallways were virtually empty, and a weary witch directed them to Mary's room when they asked.

It was a private room, of course, all the way to the back of the ward. She had her own guard on the door, and a deep bubble of silence encased the area.

Sirius was there when they entered, and he looked up expectantly. He'd probably not slept a wink last night; he was unshaven and rather dark around the eyes. But he did not move to greet them, did not let go of the hand between his.

It was pale, as was she, save for a dash of bruising across the right side of her face. Her left arm was bent clinically over her stomach and a tuft of bandaging peeked above the low neckline of her robes.

'They said it's better if she's sleeping for now,' Sirius said. Lily had already made her way to the other side of the bed, but James remained rooted to the spot. 'They fixed her up as best they could, but they don't know what kind of damage was done until she wakes up.'

Never had a "when" sounded more like an "if".

'Did you find her?' Lily whispered. James did not like how her voice sounded.

Sirius shook his head slowly.

'Went to the Order house after I left Remus's,' he said. 'Frank and Alice were there. Marlene and Moody. Her patronus came and... We had to let the Aurors handle things. When we got here, they wouldn't let us see her, didn't even tell us what happened. We waited two bloody hours for answers.'

She was alive. It could have been much worse, James knew that. How many had already died for the cause? But the reality of their world had never struck so close to home. For a fleeting moment, he wondered about his child, wondered what sort of life they'd have, what kind of world they were being born into.

All the more reason to fight, he resolved. It wasn't a case of battling to hold back the tide, it was a case of stopping it in its tracks. He knew the stakes now.

Lily didn't flinch when he moved to her side and placed a hand on her shoulder. She picked at the sheets around her friend, was too nervous to touch her.

For what was probably the first time in hours, Sirius relinquished Mary's hand.

'Fancy getting some drinks, James?'

No. He didn't fancy that at all. In fact, it sounded like a bloody stupid idea given the circumstances. But then he looked at the girls, really looked at them, and understood. They were best friends, as close as he and Sirius were.

James nodded. They'd be back in no time. And if something happened, if she woke up...well, Lily would be there and there was no better person to be at her side when that happened.

Sirius, it seemed, had not jumped to the same conclusion as he. No sooner were they out in the hallway, Sirius had pulled him aside with a look of anger in his eyes that James had not seen for some time.

'I told him this was going to happen,' he snarled. 'I told Dumbledore, I looked him right in the eye and told him what Regulus had told me. And he ignored it, and now she's lying in a hospital bed-'

'Sirius,' James said calmly. 'None of us could have known this was going to happen. None of us could have predicted it, least of all Dumbledore.'

It wasn't what Sirius wanted to hear.

'Do you have any idea what those bastards did?' he growled. 'They tortured her!'

His words cut through James, hit something deep within him and it exploded, filling him with a fiery energy that he had previously been lacking.

'Don't you think I know?' James snarled, pushing Sirius away from him. 'She's my friend too! I'm just as angry as you are! But none of this is going to help her.'

For a moment, he thought that Sirius was going to cry. He wore the look of a wounded puppy, one whose bone had been taken from it. James wanted to say something else, something more comforting, but he was all out of sympathy. Every inch of him shook as he considered their friend, and he dared not ponder what she had been through.

'She didn't deserve this,' Sirius said quietly. 'She's a good person.'

She was drifting in darkness, elevated somewhere above consciousness. There was no pain, no sensation at all. But it was not comforting, rather disconcerting.

There were voices too, familiar ones. Sometimes she understood them, sometimes they were just sounds. Truthfully, she could not remember hearing them at all, merely woke with the memory of their presence.

It all happened in a matter of seconds. First, the spark that ignited her consciousness. Then, an aeon of feeling, of floating and drifting. Something whispered in the back of her mind, urging her to remain in the blackness, even if the rest of her body would not. She disregarded it. Somehow, it seemed akin to defeat, to giving up, and she never was one for that.

When her body caught up with her mind, she almost screamed out. The sudden rush of sensation, of being alive, was almost too much. Every inch of her felt hyper-sensitive, and even as she adjusted, she was aware of pain where there had previously been none, and of a darkness over her mind that would not shift.

'Mary?'

She was aware of white walls, of sheets and a familiar clinical smell. When she attempted to move, a fierce pain burned through her left side and she hissed against it.

'She's awake! Sirius, she's awake!'

The room swam into focus, as did an attentive redhead. There was movement on the other side of the room and suddenly two became three, and her hand was taken in a much larger, warmer one. It should have been comforting, but it was not.

'We were so worried about you, honey,' Lily said. She looked down upon Mary with concern, her green eyes watery. 'Thank heavens you're all right.'

'Where am I?' Mary asked. Her throat felt like sandpaper. And she already knew the answer to her question.

'You're in St. Mungo's,' Sirius told her. 'You gave us all quite a scare.'

He laughed quietly, but it was an uneasy, relieved laugh, not one born from genuine humour.

They were the only visitors she had, and there was not a healer in sight. She was in a private room, she could see, and the door was firmly closed. By straining her neck she could see a wealth of flowers and cards on her bedside table.

'How long have I been here?' she asked.

'A little over a day,' Lily said.

'And Klein?'

She felt Sirius's grip on her hand tighten and she was sure her heart fell through her ribcage. A flash of phantom pain shot through her, and her lungs constricted.

'He's fine,' Sirius assured her, and her body relaxed instantly. 'They found him shortly after they found you. He's at a safe house. Only Dumbledore knows where. But he's alive, and he's safe...thanks to you.'

When he smiled at her, it was filled with pride. It was not an emotion she felt herself, with laughter in her ears and the bitter taste of blood in her mouth.

The door opened and she flinched, gripped Sirius's hand a little too tightly. She relinquished it out of shame a moment later, shook him away.

'Ah, we're awake,' spoke the Healer who stepped into her room. She knew him, of course, knew everyone around here. It made the privacy of her solitary room feel rather redundant.

Lily moved to allow the healer beside her bed, approached Sirius to place a hand on his shoulder.

'Maybe we should go find James,' she whispered to him. In the silence, she was not difficult to overhear. 'He'll want to know-'

'I'm not leaving,' Sirius said. Always was too stubborn for his own good.

'Sirius, you've been here since she was admitted - you've barely slept.'

When Sirius spoke next, it was not to either of his friends, but to the Healer.

'Is she going to be okay?'

The Healer looked uneasily between Sirius and Mary, but the patient could not have cared less. It was not as liberating a state of mind as she would have assumed it to be.

'Tell me,' she demanded. She was almost frightened by the cold emptiness of her voice.

The Healer gave her a moment, but understood nonetheless that she wanted, nay, needed, to know.

'Well you're awake and coherent,' he said. 'I trust you understand that I can't give you a full assessment until I've checked you over, but-'

'Just get to the point.'

He swallowed.

'You appear to have been under the Cruciatus Curse for some time,' he explained. She did not tell him that she was aware of that fact. 'There doesn't appear to be any lasting physical damage, but you'll be a little on the weak side for a short while.'

'What about my arm?' she asked. She had not attempted to move it again, but there was a lingering, dull pain around her ribs.

'There was some...muscular damage,' the Healer told her. 'It's not your arm, it's...well, you know. You're going to have a scar and it could take some time for the pain to fade and for you to regain use of your arm.'

'How long?'

He looked at her long and hard, seemed to silently plead with her to not make him say the words.

'We don't know,' he said. 'Could be months, could be years... Mary, you- There's a chance you may never regain full use of your arm.'

At least it wasn't her wand arm. That was what she wanted to say, what she would have said had she been in a better place. But the news hurt as much as the wound, and she found her eyes feeling more moist than was comfortable.

The numbness around her mind was finally wearing off, and she did not like what it exposed. It was a headache the likes of which she had never experienced before. A raw nerve.

'Thank you,' she said. It took what little strength she had left to remain composed. 'I think I...I think I need to rest.'

'Mary-' Sirius began.

'It's okay,' Lily said, her grip on his shoulder visibly tightening. 'She's just woke up, she needs a while to adjust. Come on, we'll go find James, get some lunch.'

Mary did not watch them as they left. There was a definite release that came with their absence, like the removal of a splinter.

'This will only take-'

'Can you give me a few minutes?' she interrupted. The Healer had already reached for a clipboard at the end of her bed. 'I just...'

He nodded, solemnly. There was something in his eyes she did not quite understand. Pity? Hadn't that always enraged her? And then he was gone, and she was left alone, to the silence and the sunshine and the sweet smell of flowers.

In this perfect world, Mary Macdonald closed her eyes and cried.

AN - Please review :).