Authors' Note: Hope you are all enjoying this as much as we are. It seems we post a chapter a day, or close to it (or more!) =) Here is chapter ten!
Disclaimer: WillowEchoRiver and DeborahSloane do not own Stargate as much as they wish and dream they did… minus the dreaming part. Can't say I've ever dreamt about it…
Vala hurried to find Teal'c and when she did she was relieved, because she wasn't in the kind of mood to search the whole base.
"Oh, muscles, good!" Vala said in relief when she found Teal'c.
Teal'c nodded his acknowledgment of her.
"Can I talk to you?" Vala asked hopefully, collapsing in a chair.
"You may," Teal'c said, gently. "I should acknowledge that you have not been entirely yourself, ValaMaldoran."
"You noticed that, huh?" Vala asked, with a sigh.
"Indeed. We all noticed." Teal'c said, with an understanding nod. "Would I be correct in assuming it has something to do with DoctorDanielJackson?"
Vala shrugged. "Not entirely." She said slowly.
Teal'c raised in eyebrow in question, silently urging her to continue.
"Well, you see, I've been... Well. I've been remembering things. Certain things.... strange things! You see, I've been remembering events that haven't--shouldn't-- couldn't have happened. All of these memories have been of years on the Odyssey. Years! I mean, the only case I could think of that ever happening was with you and... Well.... I've been remembering about Enya too." She said. While speaking she had stared down at her hands, forming her thoughts. But now she looked up into his eyes. "If I'm crazy, and you can't remember Enya then I'll be fine. I'll even get therapy if I need to. But if you do... please, tell me." Vala pleaded.
Teal'c was silent and looked away from her. He seemed to be remembering things forgotten. "It has been many years since I have heard that name spoken aloud."
Vala closed her eyes tightly for a moment, relieved it was not all in her head, but also horrified those awful things had occurred to her poor child. She opened her eyes again and sighed. "I don't know how it's possible that I remember, and I almost don't even care...But...Teal'c..." She broke off. "I needed to talk to someone...I've told Sam, I think she thinks I've lost it. And Daniel thinks I'm messing with him..." She sighed. "He hates me."
"I believe you are mistaken." Teal'c said, not going any further on the topic.
"Maybe in that other timeline where we were stuck together he finally decided he could ever even think of giving me a second glance, but we're here and I tried talking to him and he thinks it's a joke, Teal'c. I can't even... think straight with everything that's been going on inside my head. How did this happen?" She asked.
Teal'c paused, wondering if he should tell her or not. "There was a chance, according to Colonel Carter, that you would be the most likely to remember any of the events while aboard the Odyssey. She stated that it would be due to your time being subject to Quetesh but she was uncertain. She said few things were likely to trigger any of the memories. It would have to be a large marker. If you would, ValaMalDoran, what was your first memory?" Teal'c questioned.
"And it's just between us?" Vala asked, a little embarrassed at what had brought on the memories. Her feelings for Daniel had assisted the coffee incident, no doubt.
"Of course, ValaMalDoran."
"Well, at the coffee shop the cup said something about 'Life is too short' and it brought on some memories of Daniel and..." She broke off, "And it's quite necessary to talk about this?" She asked, doubtfully.
"I would not purposely make you uncomfortable." Teal'c said, nodding.
Vala nodded then, and relayed all of the things that had been bringing on memories to Teal'c. After she'd gotten past the initial embarrassment, she found it comforting to speak to someone who knew what she was talking about.
Teal'c nodded listening to every word and not judging her. She loved that. "I do believe this is an appropriate time to give you this.'' Teal'c said handing her an envelope.
"What is it?'' she questioned turning the envelope over and weighing it in her hands.
"I was instructed to give this to you if this were to occur. Please read it" Teal'c urged.
Vala glanced down at the envelope once more, before slowly and carefully tearing it open. Inside she found this,
Dear me, I have only just convinced Sam that she doesn't need to read this before I hand it over to Teal'c. She didn't want me to relay any information that could harm our future there on earth. I think it is all very silly, but I have given my word, and you know how hard we've worked to gain trust. I-You shouldn't betray it. So, those three subjects are what I'll address, and leave the rest up to your memories. I am sure there have been good, if few, things you have remembered. It hasn't been all bad. Let's talk about Enya. She was certainly a lovely child, wasn't she? I hate to forget her, but I love to as well. I love to forget the pain. I love to forget the hurt. But she was a wonderful girl, and I am thankful that she lives on in Teal'c's memory, at least. And perhaps now ours, too. If you don't remember Enya, you can skip this next paragraph. But If you have remembered our time here, I am almost positive that you remember her. Don't think on her with too much pain. I wasted years of my life regretting it all. I regretted loosing her. I still regret loosing her. I'm not sure the others know this, but every month I would sit in her room. I would just sit there and think about her. How darling that little girl was. She was beautiful, and though her life was short, she was a happy girl. She was true to her name. She was a 'Little Fire' to us, which is what Enya means, as you know if your reading this. After being with the same people every day for such a long time (though it was nothing compared to how long we have been here) she was a refreshing soul in the midst of boredom. She shouldn't be remembered with sorrow. She was such a darling and happy girl that she would surely hate it. Whatever you do, I don't believe there is ever any reason to tell Daniel about Enya. Not even if things work out for you so happily as they did for me. He hurt so much for her. He hid it so well. For me. For us. He didn't want me to know how much he was hurting while trying to deal with my own pain. I used to sit for hours by myself, just crying. He might have thought he lost me. He may almost have. Daniel doesn't need that pain, he's had enough. Even if you have to tell him every other piece of information, save him that pain. Save him Enya's pain. Goodness knows he suffered enough from me in that time. And I guess that brings us to him, doesn't it? I know how eager you--or me?-- will be to know what to do on his account, unless things have already worked out for you. In which case I will congratulate you for gaining the best man in the galaxy, and caution you never to hurt him (hence my note above). He is someone worth holding onto, the pain of losing him would be too unbearable. But if, as I suspect, things haven't worked out for you yet...What do I tell you? I don't know how Daniel's life would have unfolded on earth, as opposed to this ship. But what I can say, is that he is I do have more to say about Daniel, and I know you won't mind, because I know how much we love to talk about him...He's scared, I think. I mean, where you are right now he is scared. He's afraid he was wrong about you, so never give him any reason to doubt. He told me once that those words he spoke to me on that day, three months after we'd first been stuck on the Odyssey, --No doubt you remember that day,-- he told me that all of those things he'd said had been buried fears, and suddenly they hadn't been able to stay back any longer. But your--my-- tears proved something to him that day. If he speaks harshly to you, on account of his fear, forgive him. If he rejects you, forgive him. He's
All I can say is if your reading this, then what Sam feared has come true, and you've begun to have remember our time here, on the Odyssey.
I have a pretty good idea of what your biggest concerns in all of it must be at this point; Enya, Daniel, and the boredom and pain of fifty years on board this ship. This ship, I must say, I loathe very much.
All I can say is I hope for yours and my sake that he'll learn to love you on earth as he did here. That leads me to my next and final point.
These fifty years...They have been the worst and the best of my life. It wasn't all bad. I"m not sure if you realize this just in your memories, but I had the affection of the person I care about the most. I had good friends. I had a family. But I was stuck. You have those friends who formed a family with you, and you have that man --as a friend, if not more-- don't waste your life dreaming or dwelling in my life. Love them, love your life. Live your life, not mine. I have already lived my life and boy was it something. I never would have guessed my life would end up like this. Oh, but I have one more thing to tell you. Because the truth is, for the first time,
We really have found our home. Love, Odyssey's Vala.
Vala stared at the last sentence of the letter. Slowly she folded the letter up and placed it back in the envelope, then she looked back up at Teal'c who had stood quietly waiting for her to finish reading it. She had tears running down her face but Teal'c didn't seem to notice. "I do hope that you are provided with answers that you have searched for. That letter is yours to keep." He said, nodding slightly at her.
Vala nodded and reached her arms up around Teal'c, "Thank you Teal'c. I needed this. I still have one problem, but I'm sure you know what that is." She said releasing him and wiping the tears from her face.
"DoctorJackson, I presume." He responded.
She grinned, "Yeah, slight problem there. But as I-- she-- whoever stated, I have you guys and I know I need to live this life not her life."
"I think you have much reason to hope for your future, ValaMalDoran." Teal'c said, nodded.
Vala smiled, and was almost really happy for the first time since the memories had begun. She really did have a good life. What the other her had said had been right. She'd had all the good things the other her had, (with the exception of Daniel's affection, but she had his friendship) but she wasn't stuck. She had it pretty good, as far as she was concerned. But it still hurt.
Daniel entered the room only seconds later, he looked rather surprised and dismayed to find Vala there. He gave her only a slight nod before turning to Teal'c. "Hey, I was just wondering if you could help me with this translation." Daniel asked Teal'c, nearly ignoring Vala.
"I will certainly assist you, DoctorJackson." Teal'c said, glancing at Vala then giving Daniel a nod.
Vala took a step towards the door. "Thank you for everything, Teal'c. I'll see you later." She said, waving as she hurried from the room.
Daniel watched her leave and then turned back to Teal'c, "What was that about?"
"Have you noticed ValaMalDoran has not been herself recently?" Teal'c questioned.
Daniel nodded, "Yeah. I have." He said, sitting down. "Did she tell you what's up? She's driving me crazy."
Teal'c debated answering, before finally saying calmly. "She is aware of the agitation she is causing you, DanielJackson."
"Oh, she usually is!" Daniel said, exasperatedly. Sick of Vala's little games.
"Despite what you may think, I do not believe that she means to agitate you."
"Really? Then what do you 'believe' she means to do? She was telling me that she loved me earlier. She is going crazy, I'm sure. What is her problem?" Daniel questioned messing with his book he needed help with translating.
"Has it not occurred to you, DanielJackson, that she may really be in love with you?" Teal'c spoke slowly, only after considering whether or not he should say anything at all. His words were followed by quite the silence on both sides. Teal'c was patiently waiting for Daniel to speak first, and Daniel's mind was spinning as he thought about the question.
"No..." Daniel said, after a rather unnecessarily long pause. "No, that's stupid. I mean, no offense, but it's Vala we're talking about."
"I cannot see how that changes the matter." Teal'c said, his voice calm as ever.
Daniel studied his face, "Are you playing some joke on me?" He questioned.
"I am not." Teal'c stated.
"Right.... you know what, lets work on this translation later." Daniel said, heading for the door. "Maybe you should.... get some rest... kelnoream... something...."
A/N: Reviews?? Thanks you guys!