Statement from August 17th, 2014

So, here's another one of my long winded explanations as to why I suck. However, I'll attempt to keep it quick. Those of you who are subscribed to this story will hopefully get an email, that will let you know that I'm still around. I really am. I've had the worst summer imaginable for being creative and after all of the negative feedback, I had writers block (as you guys know from the last chapter).

What I would like everyone to know is this. I'm still writing. I haven't TRULY written in a month or so, because I got really discouraged. It felt a bit like my story wasn't being given a chance, because of some of the really nasty things that were said. All things in a story or a tv show happen for a reason, to further character development and eventually to bring all parts of the story together. The relationship between Shan and Martinez is just that. It's a plot driver. It will come into play later, and when it does, I hope you'll cheer and be happier with me. For now, try not to read to much into it. The Walking Dead is known for its fucked up relationships and its fucked up decisions that all turned out for the best later, just at the death or deaths of major characters. That's what you need to be thinking of...

Second of all, and most importantly, I think of this story every day. I think of things to throw in, and parts of the story that I would like to omit completely from the show to the fanfic. I'm almost finished with the next chapter, which will drive the story VERY QUICKLY into the end of Season 3.

Statement from today...

Okay, so this was really hard to write, but the next chapter was super easy to write. So, I hope I'm onto something, here. Be aware that because of how the episodes were broken up, chapters 10 and 11 are VERY jumpy. They jump back and forth between perspectives and I know that a lot of people don't like to read stories that do that, but I couldn't help it. Hopefully it's still an enjoyable read. I will be posting chapter 11 tomorrow, after some people have reviewed to let me know that they INDEED want me to keep writing. I've been bummed out for a while about this, because I love this story, and I love all of my positive reviewers.

So, read and review, and I will post part 2 of this whole mess tomorrow. :) Cheers.

Chapter 10: Made to Suffer - Part 1

"I know what you did back there…for my baby, while I was working things out. Thank you.", Rick murmured to Daryl as the group continued their hike into Woodbury. Daryl didn't even have to look at him. He simply nodded his head.

"It's what we do."

Rick nodded in return, and sped his pace up a bit. Almost immediately, the familiar smell of rotting flesh met their noses, and Rick sneered as a dozen or more walkers exited the woods. The group began taking care of them, slowly but surely. However, the numbers continued to grow, confirming what Michonne had spoken about. They wouldn't be able to take on this many walkers with only four of them.

"There's too many of 'em…", Daryl groaned, stabbing an attacker in the eye socket. He turned around quickly, and pressed his back against Rick's, waiting for a decision.

"C'mon. This way…". Rick whispered, hurriedly, breaking off from Daryl in a sprint through the woods. Daryl quickly followed suit, killing a final walker, before tucking his knife and running through the dense trees.

As if answering some sort of prayer, they were instantly met with a clearing, and in that clearing, a tiny house. Rick almost laughed, as he jogged up the stairs, and the voice in his head started, yet again.

"What exactly do you plan to do? The walkers will surround this place…", Shan whispered to him, her hand against his lower back as she followed behind. Although she was only a vision in his head, she was still covered in blood, and carrying a rather impressive machete.

"I'm workin' on it…", Rick sneered back, and Daryl narrowed his eyes. He didn't dare speak on the matter, but stared at Rick, a bit confused. Rick shoved the creaking door open, sprinting inside to clear the area, "Get the door!"

Like a well trained group of soldiers, they all entered behind him, and Michonne shut the door, pulling a heavy recliner over with some effort. Daryl's hand came to rest over his nose and he fought a gag, glancing to Rick.

"What's that smell?! It's loud…", he complained, and Rick peered around the room for signs of a body. They searched for the smell for a few seconds, before Daryl spotted a small bundle in the middle of the room, and Rick's flashlight peered onto it, "Hmm…I guess Lassie went home…"

The dog still wore its collar, hanging loosely off of a body that was nearly bones, by this time. Rick's nose snarled, and Shan placed a hand over her face, her innocence still there as she shielded herself from seeing the disgusting reality of this world. She drew her body in close to Rick's and he brought his arm around her, able to almost feel her warmth, and her clothing as his fingers pressed into her ribs and he turned on Daryl.

Daryl narrowed his eyes at the motions his older comrade made, almost tilting his head to the side like a dog. Rick noticed the look and swallowed heavily, dropping his hand to his side. A sharp movement under a blanket caught his attention, and he snapped his head to it, dropping lower.

Daryl quickly became distracted from Rick's weird behavior, raising his knife and stalking beside Rick, to the bed. As Rick's hand reached out and grasped the fabric, Shan's hand reached forward, gripping his belt. He knew he was the only one who could, but he could hear her ragged breathing as she reluctantly leaned forward, and followed him closer to the bed.

Counting silently, Rick pulled the covers back on three, and a man shot up from them, screaming. Shan yelped, and Rick reached back to cover her mouth, before realizing that she wasn't real, once again. He closed his eyes and shook his head, before holding his hands up in front of him to the screaming man.

"WHO ARE YOU?! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"

"We will, but we can't right now. Let's talk about this…just put the gun down…", Rick pleaded with the man, his hands high in front of his face. The double barrel of the shotgun almost shoved its way down his throat as he stared into the man's eyes. Daryl drew himself close, trying to find an angle of attack to kill the man with his large knife, "There are walkers outside!"

The stranger glanced from one person to the next as he thought over those words, and his eyes grew wider, "I'll call the cops!"

"I am a cop…", Rick explained coolly. He lowered himself to the ground carefully, "I just need you to lower the gun. Don't do anything rash, and we can talk this over. We can help you…"

The man looked to Daryl, his gun brushing across Rick's thigh for a split second, and his eyes grew wide once more, "SHOW ME YOUR BADGE!"

"Alright! Alright…It's in my pocket. I'm gonna get it out of my pocket…", Rick repeated, raising his hands as the barrels quickly shoved toward his face. He gritted his teeth and glanced to Daryl for a split second. As he bent down, he began speaking again, "I'm going to reach down real slow and…"

He grabbed the shotgun roughly, as the man pulled the trigger and almost took Daryl's head off. The pellets burned as they roughly pressed to Daryl's skin and he whimpered loudly, turning back to Rick. His face was burning with anger as he came forward, his knife raised high. Rick attempted to wrangle the man, holding his arms high above his head.

"I'll kill ya! I'm gonna kill ya…", the man screamed. Rick attempted to cover his mouth, only to have his hand bitten hard. He screamed out, and Michonne took action as the man passed her, her katana slicing through his heart like butter. She kicked him forward onto the floor. As he began bleeding out, the group fell into silence, staring around the room at each other. Michonne simply shrugged, and Rick glanced to Shan, and then Daryl.

"Here. Help me get him up.", Rick whispered, and Daryl quickly sprang into action, grabbing the front of the man's shirt. The two hoisted him from the ground, as Oscar protested, Shan standing teary eyed beside him.

"You've gotta be kidding…", Oscar complained.

"He's dead. Check the back…", Rick explained simply, more to Shan than to Oscar. Shan sniffled and nodded, staring at the floor as one of her hands ruffled her scarlet hair. Oscar left her side, running to the back door.

"It's clear."

"Ready?", Rick asked Daryl, who gave a simple nod, and began counting to three. On three, the door sprang open, and the two men shoved the body out into the sea of walkers. Daryl slammed the door and locked it, while the rest of the group ran out the back door. Part of Daryl's mind wanted to believe in ghosts, as he looked around the room for the mysterious being Rick had been talking to, and touching. He shook his head and grumbled to himself, before running out the back door with the rest.

"I'm not makin' her do that. There ain't no reason for it. If my brother is anywhere near that group, she don't need to know it until I tell her.", Merle explained, in his best attempt to sway the Governor, "She's weak…"

"That's where you're wrong. She's not weak at all. She could get things out of that boy in there that we couldn't get out in a year of interrogation. Give me a good reason as to why I shouldn't force her to do it?"

"Because I'm asking you not to. She had a chance to leave. She stayed. She had several chances to probably find 'em, but she ended up home. They don't want her back, and that kid in there? He hates her, now. The only thing she's gonna do to him, is get him fired up and even quieter. I want my brother…", Merle explained, whispering like a child, asking permission.

"Alright then. Have her stand guard on the archers post…but I want her briefed tonight. You're in charge of finding them…and taking care of this.", the Governor whispered, before stepping past Merle, "I can trust your loyalty lies in Woodbury above all…right?"

His eyes suddenly rested on Martinez, who seemed surprised. Martinez narrowed his eyes and nodded, "You know that."

"And if she goes?"

"We take care of it…", Martinez answered dryly, causing the Governor to snigger.

"Good. Let's go."

"Get up. Let's go.", Merle's voice boomed as he entered our apartment. He began rummaging through the place, throwing things into bags.

"Wait. What are you doing? Where are we going?", I asked, frantically throwing my boots on, as I watched him pack all of my things into one backpack. I narrowed my eyes, "Are they kicking me out?"

"No. Not they…"

"You're kicking me out?", I asked.

"I'm going with you…Now get up. Let's move.", he snapped, tossing the bag at me. A lump formed in my throat as I stared at him, and tears pricked my eyes. His own eyes were misty, as we shared a long stare of emotion. A knock at the door ruined our moment, however, and I rose to my feet as Martinez barged in.

"The Governor wants us in the pits for a meeting. Apparently the girl is ready to talk.", he explained. He wouldn't meet my eyes as he glanced between Merle and me. Something bad was about to happen, and I could do nothing but feel nauseous about it. Merle nodded slowly, and stood still, urging Martinez to leave the room. As he did so, Merle grabbed my hand with one of his, and my bow with the other as we exited the room.

"I ain't one for mushy goodbyes, but I don't know what's about to happen, here. I need you to go and post up on the archer's wall. Stay there…I'll come for ya, after the shift change. If I don't come within the hour, run. Go south, and find a buildin'…I'll come find you. Stay on the highway…"

"It's dark outside, Merle.", I retorted as we exited the apartment building, and the night air nearly took my breath away. I couldn't believe what he was saying. He was running away with me. He was taking a chance on me, and we were going to find Daryl together. I cracked a small smile as he answered me.

"All the more reason we'll make it. By the time they realize we're gone, we'll have made it to the border. Now go. Set yer alarm…and if they come, you keep Sheriff Rick away from those gates."

"Be careful. Please, be careful. I can't do this alone.", I whispered, suddenly wrapping my arms around his waist. He didn't hug me back, being taken off guard, but his breathing stopped for a second.

"Go on, now! Git…", He composed from somewhere in his chest. He shoved me roughly away from him, and sniffed, straightening himself as he walked the other way. I stared down at my watch, set the alarm, and nervously walked up to the gates of Woodbury.

"This is it…", Michonne whispered as a bright light engulfed the group. All of them quickly threw themselves behind an abandoned car and began scoping out their surroundings. In front of them was a set of railcars, lined up next to each other, and a couple were stacked, forming a makeshift barrier. Behind it was God knows what, and as Daryl scanned the wall, he sized up the archers that were present. A couple were large men, only they weren't carrying bows. They were clinging to high-powered rifles for dear life. Daryl scoffed, knowing that the men wouldn't stand half a chance in a hand-to-hand fight. They were terrified. The other person he couldn't miss was a woman. She was tiny, holding a compound bow in her hand at ready. She looked nervous, and as he stared at her, there was more than familiarity behind her facial structure.

"Look at that girl…", Daryl started, before Michonne suddenly stood from her spot on the ground, and took off running in the opposite direction, "HEY!"

"Dammit…", Rick complained, trying to decide what to do in the current scenario. Shan stood by his side, and he could almost feel her body shaking against his. He shook his head, attempting to remind himself she was a vision, a ghost of sorts. As he continued staring up at the lights, he turned to Daryl, "We need to downsize, and find a way into the parameter. There's no way we'll make it in with all of this…"

"Especially not with them guards, there.", Daryl chimed, as an arrow whizzed by his head, and stuck into the tree next to him. Shocked, and more than a little rattled, he glanced up at the wall, at the girl who had just shot the arrow. Rick acted on instinct, pulling his rifle from the ground, "No! Look…"

Daryl ripped a small and dirty piece of paper from the arrow, and flipped it open. Immediately his breath left him, and he was forced to lean his back against the car behind him, to keep from falling to the ground.

"Glenn and Maggie are here. They are in 1580. The Governor knows your coming. We're on your side, and I got your back. Come to the side, behind the trees. I'll open the metal. It's good to see you, Dare.

Shan

I scribbled the note as fast as I could, my own eyes pricking with tears. I was leaving tonight, and I was leaving with Daryl. I didn't have to find him. He found me. All of the terror and pain from the past few months washed over me at once and I could barely breathe. I quickly stabbed the note onto the end of an arrow, and pulled the string back, firing at the tree next to Daryl's head.

"What? What'd you see?", Martinez quickly asked in a hushed voice.

"I thought I saw a walker over there, but I missed by a mile."

"Where?", he asked.

"Over there. I must be tired. See all that paper? Man…", I faked, my eyes quickly glancing over the boys, who were still just sitting there. Daryl looked as if he couldn't move. I took a deep and ragged breath, and stood back from Martinez, "I think I need some rest. If Merle comes up here lookin' for me, can you tell him I'll be back in about an hour? I just need to wash my face and get some juice or something."

Martinez narrowed his eyes and scanned the area one more time, disbelief covering his face. However, he straightened up and nodded, "Yeah. I'll let him know…"

As he leaned forward to place a kiss against my lips, I turned, walking toward the ladder. I could almost hear the disappointment and paranoia wash over the whole car, as if he knew that I was leaving, tonight.

"What? What is it?", Rick asked Daryl, as the younger man sank down the side of the car behind him. His eyes scanned the note over and over, until Rick tore it from his hands and read it himself. Suddenly, the trembling body next to him disappeared, as he realized that Shan had been in Woodbury this entire time. She was right in front of them, "You realize what this could mean, right?"

Daryl stared straight ahead, "She could be with 'em? No Rick…Man, you know her better than that."

"I do, but it's been a long time. Who knows what they've done to her…"

"Or they could have kept her prisoner this whole time, like Glenn and Maggie! You don't know, man. Let's find that buildin' and get them out. I ain't dealin' with this right now…", Daryl's anger swelled up inside him suddenly, and he stood from the ground, slinging his crossbow onto his back with his rifle, and headed for the metal fence.

As he approached the rusty fence, he thought over a million times what he could say to her. He thought about the fact that she might have thought he abandoned her, or what if she really wasn't on their side? What if she was part of this freak show, and he had lost her for good?

"Everyone can change…", he mumbled to himself, as the copper tinted sheet in front of him peeled back, revealing a face that he barely recognized. As Rick approached, he was ushered through by Shan, who stood back and bit her lip. She looked completely different from every mental image Daryl had of her. She was now paler, her eyes were a color he didn't even recognize, and her hair…her scarlet hair was gone.

He could barely hold himself together enough to step through the fence as it was, but as soon as she stepped out of the shadows, his hands gripped the strap of his crossbow tighter than he could have ever imagined possible. He glanced nervously to Rick's face, and then back to her.

"Hi guys…", she whispered quietly, her voice suddenly relieving every bit of disbelief in both men. Their shoulders fell, and Rick stepped forward, immediately throwing his arms around her in a rib-crushing hug. His shoulders shook for a brief minute, and he pulled back, his face flooded with tears.

"God…", he whispered, "How are you ali-…where have you been?"

"We don't have time for catching up. You have to go…right now. Find Glenn and Maggie and meet me back here. I'll wait for you as long as I can."

"No. We're not leaving you again.", Rick began to argue, but Shan pushed him away from her.

"Go…"

With a look of confusion, and a glance to Daryl, Rick threw his rifle onto his back and huffed. Daryl hardly moved an inch from his place. He stared at Shan's face, not breathing as he tried to read her. Her eyes were colder, and she looked guilty. What had she been into?

"Go! Go now!", she hissed, snapping him out of his trance. They shared one final bit of eye contact, and the group left her there, as she repeated to them, "Meet me here…"