Her every whimper, moan of pain and movement was noticed by him. He hadn't moved from the side of the bed since he pulled a chair closer. Several servants had come in with food and some herbs that Zedd had sent. From the looks of it all, he had a new plan to heal the burns on her back. The warm up of tea kept his hands busy, making it possible for him not to reach out and touch her with every breath she drew in. After an hour, her face relaxed and she looked to be sleeping peacefully. He prayed that it would continue.

"Have you been here the whole time?" Richard smiled as she turned her head to look at him. "You didn't have to waste the rest of your night here."

"It wasn't wasted."

"I wanted you to see the city."

Leaning forward, he sat his cup onto the floor and grabbed her hand. "I will, with you."

Smiling, she struggled to sit up, accepting his help without hesitation. "I didn't mean to sleep through the night."

"How do you feel?"

"Foolish," she answered in a soft whisper. "Richard, I- I shouldn't have allowed myself to-"

"It's all right, I understand."

Tilting her head, she met his eyes. "You do?"

"When Zedd told me what you remembered, the things that you had said to him about- I understand how you would- I understand, Kahlan."

"She's yours, Richard."

He grinned widely, finding his entire being comforted by her words. "I know."

"You should lie down for a while. You look exhausted."

"I do?"

She gifted him with a light laugh, her hair falling over her shoulders and around her face as she leaned forward. "You do." Grabbing his arm, she pulled him onto the bed, moving quickly as to keep him from noticing that she was once again in pain. She froze as she noticed him staring at her in disappointment. "What's wrong?"

"It hurts again."

Squeezing his arm gently, she nodded with a small smile. "Not as much as before. I can handle it." The concern on his face grew as he moved closer to her. He straddled her thighs, holding her face in his hands as though it somehow made him able to read her. "I promise, Richard. For now, I can handle it."

"Kahlan-"

"All right," she sighed, releasing his arm. There was no point in arguing with him. When Richard set his mind to something, it was unwise to stand in his way.

She began moving her dress from her shoulders, using it as a distraction from watching him as he crawled off of her and walked to the table beside the door. She wanted to look at him, to remind herself of everything that was good, but she was terrified that if she did, she would break. Moving her hair over her left shoulder, she turned around and stared at the headboard in waiting. He made sure to make noise as he approached her, knowing that one small move could send back into the darkness. Easing onto the bed behind her, Richard brushed his fingers over her back, just below the burns. A small moment of tenderness that he felt would comfort her more than he imagined.

Holding her breath, she waited for him to begin. The instant the new paste touched her skin; she jumped in surprise and released the breath that filled her lungs. It was warm, making her body relax beneath his fingertips and close her eyes. It was pleasant, relieving her of the aches that had grown to take over most of her body. A soft sigh of relief escaped her as she leaned forward, letting go of everything that had haunted her. For the first time in months, she was in no pain and was free.

It happened in an instant, surprising them both. She turned around and closed the distance between them, connecting their lips as though it was the only way they would survive the moment. Her fingers pushed up into his hair, pulling him to her as she pushed against him. He could feel the difference in her touch, kiss and hold; it urged him onward. Her dress was already at her waist, her skin begging for his touch; his lips and tongue.

Lowering her back to the bed, Richard tossed the covers aside and pushed down against her. Their bodies synced in rhythm, their hands moving seamlessly along the other's body as they rocked against the other. It heated quickly, but there was nothing stopping them, nothing screaming in their minds to warn them of what could happen. He had craved her for so long; feared that he would never have the opportunity to touch and kiss her the way that he had dreamed of as he was away. This almost didn't seem real to him.

Whispering his name, Kahlan pushed her chest against his lips as he began to explore her newly larger breasts. She was beautiful, their child within her making her even more irresistible to him. Pulling at his shirt, she forced him to lift his lips from her skin so that she was able to remove the cloth from his body. She reconnected their lips at once, not wanting to waste a single moment. He couldn't stop his hands from pushing her dress from her waist, the feel of her skin driving him wild.

He froze instantly as her hands slid between them, reaching for the laces of his pants. Breaking their kiss, he grabbed her hands and moved them as he sat up.

"Kahlan, we shouldn't."

She was panting, staring up at him with wide eyes as she struggled to keep still beneath him. "You're right. I'm sorry."

Richard smiled and squeezed her hands. "I'm not."

Taking one of her hands from his, she reached up and touched his chest. "I- I shouldn't have started that."

"I'm glad that you did. I've wanted you to kiss me like that for as long as I can remember."

Her smile took his breath away, making his mind clear as she leaned up to kiss him again. It was the first time in a while that she had felt this way. She didn't want it to end. Pulling him down, she rolled them to their sides and snuggled closer to him, resting her head beneath his chin.

"You should get some sleep."

Grinning, he reached over her until he felt the blanket. "I'll only be able to sleep if you stay with me."

"I'll be here," she replied softly as he pulled one of the blankets over them. Moving quickly, she pulled back for a moment and reached beneath the blanket. Before he could ask her what she was doing, she laid her dress beside them, shamelessly.

Richard pulled her back into his arms, holding her tightly against him as shifted to get comfortable. Her breasts were pushed against his chest, making it possible for him to feel her heart pound with each breath. The feel of her swollen belly between them, their child resting within, made him grin with pride. If there was anything he had ever wanted, he had it now in this moment. This was everything.

******

He had been asleep for hours, his body desperately needing the rest after the hard trials he had faced. As she had told him she would, Kahlan remained with him through it all. Occasionally, she would drift off to sleep for a few moments, but awaken at every noise. She spent most of the time running her fingers lightly over his skin, still in awe that she was able to do so. For so long, she had feared her fingers wouldn't return, that when she was able to touch or pick something up, it felt almost new to her. His skin was soft in some places and rough in others, making her want to explore even more. Drawing her bottom lip into her mouth, she bit down lightly as she traced the thumb of her left hand over his bicep, making his hold on her tighten and bring her closer.

When she feared that he was about to awaken, she would pull back her hands and focus on the small vein in his neck that thumped with his heart beat. It comforted her to watch, knowing that this part of his life that even he missed was seen and found beautiful. She nearly laughed at her own thoughts, the silliness of a pregnant woman's emotions taking over again. With a deep breath, she rolled onto her back and stared up at the ceiling. For the first time, the stone didn't frighten her.

Richard's hand moved slowly over her stomach, pulling her from her thoughts. He inched closer, resting his head against her shoulder as he attempted to close the distance between them. Wrapping her arms around him, she shifted her body so that she was able to hold him the way he always held her. She was afraid that he could hear her heart pounding beneath his ear as his head came to her chest, the feel of his warm breath on her breasts, arousing her more than she could hide. The smile that came to his lips didn't go unnoticed, but she said nothing as she closed her eyes and focused on the feel of him against her.

A low moan fled her lips as he inched his hand lower, beneath the blanket. Pushing the fingers of her right hand into his hair, she pulled as she tried to get his hand to continue moving.

"That's not fair," she whimpered as he lifted his head and pulled back his hand.

With a wide smile, he leaned over her, his lips lightly grazing hers for only a brief moment before he pulled back. He watched her eyes fall shut as his fingers tapped over her stomach, moving lower with each breath. Her lips parted as he pulled at her right leg, bringing it to bend at the knee. He studied her face, ginning as a smile tugged at the edges of her mouth. Kahlan gasped lightly as his hand descended down the back of her thigh, his hand stopping completely as she attempted to get his hand where she wanted it.

"Don't stop."

"Kahlan…" He paused as she opened her eyes. They were completely dark, he had brought her magic to the edge of her and she was fighting to hold it in. She had never seemed so beautiful to him before. It had been so long since he had seen her this way, seen her as the woman he knew she was. Without thought, he connected their lips and allowed her to pull him onto her.

Hooking her legs around his, she arched herself up against him as she pushed her fingers into his hair. He couldn't get enough of her kiss, the brief moment they would part for air was almost unbearable and he wasn't sure he would survive. Something caught his eye as he parted for a much needed gasp of air. The white sheets beneath her were now stained red.

"Spirits Kahlan," he whispered as he pulled his hand from her shoulder, showing her the blood.

Staring at his hand, she shook her head. "I didn't feel it." She grinned widely, suddenly excited as she pushed him off of her. Pulling all of her hair over her shoulders, she looked over to him. "What does it look like?"

Confused, Richard leaned closer for a better look. "I- I don't understand…"

"What?"

"You didn't feel this?"

She grinned, looking over her shoulder to him. "No, Richard what's wrong?" The room was completely silent for a few moments, her heart the only sound she could hear as it pounded in her ears. "You're scaring me."

"There's nothing there," he whispered. "There's only a little blood."

"How- Are you sure?"

"Here," Richard moved from the bed and walked to the table beside the window, grabbing a small towel and dipping it into one of the cups. Wiping the blood from her back, he waited for her to scream, to make some kind of moan of pain, but she didn't. "How does it feel?"

"It feels, fine. I don't remember it hurting since you fell asleep."

Turning her around, he studied her face for a few moments. "What did you do while I slept?"

She smiled widely and tilted her head, making her hair fall to the side seductively. "I went for a walk through the forest, thought it would clear my head. Then, I-" she laughed, unable to keep a straight face at his confusion. "I laid here, I thought and for the first time in months, I didn't think about what happened to us back there."

"What did you think about?"

She could hear the hope in his voice; see the quick light that flashed in his eyes as he spoke, even though he tried his best to hide it. "I thought about how things could be. I... I wished for how I wanted us to be."

He didn't know what to say. Everything in his mind was racing and he wasn't sure that he was truly awake. After everything that she had been through, why now? Why was something good happening to her now? Reaching out, he laid his hand against her cheek to reassure himself that it was real; that she was real. Kahlan took hold of his wrist, jolting him from his thoughts as she brought his thumb to her lips. It was real, she gave him the only true test.

Pulling her to him, he crashed his lips against hers with a low moan of wanting. Everything within him was thriving on the joy of the moment and he couldn't waste it. Within seconds, he was laying over her as he tried to close all distance between them. She focused on keeping her hands away from the laces of his pants, not wanting him to stop her as he had done before. It was harder than she'd admit.

He kept their lips connected, parting for only a short moment for a, much needed, gasp for air. With his hands roaming over her body, she felt her hold on her magic loosen and threaten to destroy him. Her mind warned her, whispering softly in the back as she pushed it farther away. It was trying to keep her from him, trying to take this moment from them. She wanted to quiet it forever, but she knew what that would mean.

Breaking their kiss, she pushed her hands against his chest and slightly lifted him from her. "You have to stop."

He lingered above her, not wanting to move away from the warmth of her body. "I know; I'm sorry."

"It's still in the dresser." She whispered it with a hope, knowing that he knew what she meant.

"I can't let you do that, Kahlan."

"I want to."

Richard gave her a small smile and lowered himself back down to her. "No you don't and you shouldn't have to."

Reaching up, she took his face in her hands and pulled him close. "I want to be with you."

"Confess me." He ignored the look of horror on her face and held her hands to his face. "No, Kahlan listen to me. If you release your magic right now, we're together forever."

"I could never do that to you."

Moving onto his side, he inched himself close to hers. "I know, but it doesn't stop me from wanting you to." He laid his left hand on her belly and sighed. "I want to fill these halls with our children."

"She's a start, Richard."

He waited a moment before meeting her eyes. "But is it enough?"

"For me or for you?"

"Us," he replied at once.

"For me, this is more than I have ever hoped for."

Moving to his back, Richard closed his eyes and licked his lips. "I'm afraid of what happens next."

"What do you mean?"

Frustrated, he sat up and leaned forward, quickly brushing his fingers back through his hair before standing. "You're going to be expected to- You heard the council and we both know that when it comes time for you to have another child, it will kill me to know that you're with another." When he turned around to look at her, she was pulling a blanket over herself. "I don't want another man to touch you."

Avoiding his gaze, she shifted in the bed until she was able to get comfortable. "Me either." With a heavy sigh, she looked at him. "I don't want- This, what we have, it will never be enough."

"Confess me."

"I can't."

Moving onto the bed, he began pulling the blanket from her grasp, slowly revealing her skin. "Then make love to me, right now and forget everything else."

"I won't," she breathed out quietly, turning her head to keep him from kissing her. "I will not destroy you. I would rather die."

"I know." He turned her head, gently and kissed her quickly. "I want to feel it Kahlan. I want to know what it feels like to have your magic flow through, claiming me. I want to be yours."

"You would be gone, Richard and I- I can't do this without you. The real you." She had taken his face in her hands as she spoke, unable to keep from touching him. "I don't want to take away your choices. I don't want to make you want to be with me."

"I'll always want to be with you. Your-"

Pushing him off of her, she pulled the blanket back over herself and moved to her knees on the bed. "I want you to want to be with me," she whispered through tears. "I want you to be able to be with any other woman, but want to be with me and if I confess you, I will take away your choice. I want to be your choice, not your Mistress."

He stared at her for a moment, letting her words sink in. "You will always be my choice, Kahlan."

"Not if I confessed you."

"It wouldn't change anything for me."

"It would change everything for me. I could never- Not after I've... I couldn't do that to you."

Wrapping his arms around her, he pulled her against him and hugged her tightly. "I will find a way, Kahlan."

"The only way is sitting in the drawer of the side table."

"That's not an option, Kahlan. I can't let you put that thing back on. I can't let you lock away a part of yourself."

Pulling her head back, she looked up at him. "That part will destroy you."

Taking her face in his hands, he smiled warmly. "Maybe, but it's beautiful."

"No, it's not," she whispered quietly.

Moving her down to the bed, he laid beside her as he pulled the blankets to cover her. "Yes, it is. Kahlan, before when you- You were close to releasing your magic, I could see it in your eyes and I- It was beautiful."

******

For months, they had lived almost completely the way they had dreamed. Each night, he would wait in their room for her to return and the moment the door closed, he never let her go. His new favorite time of the day followed the closing of the door, where he was able to spend time with her alone. The new nightgown the seamstress had made her took his breath away. The way that it hugged her belly and screamed for his eyes to come to her breasts, he couldn't tear his eyes off of her.

He hadn't seen Kahlan in hours and he was finding it difficult to focus on anything other than the look in her eyes when she would walk through the door. It was impossible to miss the hunger within them, even as she tried her best to keep it hidden. He could almost feel her warmth beside him as he looked out of their window. It was there she would find him most nights, looking out at the city and trees, he started to wrap his arm around her when he realized that she wasn't there.

She was never out this late and he was starting to get worried. Their child would be arriving soon and he was afraid that she would be in the dungeons taking confessions when it happened. Her magic grew with the child, taking more of her energy each time she released her magic and he knew that if she went into labor, she wouldn't have the strength to get to help. With a sigh, he turned on his heels quickly and rushed for the door. He couldn't take the risk that she would go through it alone.

Opening the door, he walked quickly down the hall, nodding to the guards that were stationed every few paces. Since the council learned that the child was his, they had more than doubled the guard and he found himself more grateful for it every day. He was nearly halfway to the dungeons when he saw her in the distance and instantly he sighed in relief. She was standing with her back against one of the stone walls with her eyes closed and her hands lying on top of her belly. As he came closer, he heard her whispering to herself softly, repeating it over and over again.

Richard slowed down, as he got closer, not wanting to startle her by approaching too quickly. "Kahlan?"

She jumped at once, dropping her hands to her sides with a light gasp. "I'm sorry. I meant to-"

"What's wrong?"

"What? Nothing. I was just-"

Moving quickly to her, he pushed her gently back against the wall and blocked her way of escape. "That was not 'nothing', Kahlan. I've seen that look before, you- You thought that you were back there again."

"It was only for a moment and only because I'm tired."

"Is this the first time?"

Nodding her head, she leaned her head back and closed her eyes. "Yes."

"I don't understand-"

"It's all right, now. It was just a few moments of confusion." She could see the worry pouring out of his eyes as he stared at her in search of the truth. "It's fine now, I promise."

"Kahlan-"

Taking his hands, she gave him a small smile. "I'm all right. It wasn't as bad as before, not as strong."

"How do you mean?"

"Before, I couldn't hold on to anything around me, but..." Her smile widened as she brought his hands to her stomach. "I could feel her the whole time. I knew that I was here, it just took me a few moments to get my mind to know it too."

Leaning forward, he pressed his forehead to hers and whispered. "I'm afraid for you."

"I'm fine. With a little rest, I will be back to myself and this will be just a memory." The warmth of her breath against his lips made him release a soft moan and inch closer. "Richard, if we stay here any longer, someone will see..."

The soft whisper of her words brought his attention back to what he was doing. His hands were moving over her sides, pulling her closer as he pushed against her. "I'm sorry."

"I'm not." Grabbing his face, she kissed him quickly and then started down the hallway.

******

The instant the door closed behind them, she pushed him back against the door and kissed him. He had his arms around her within seconds, making sure she was as close as possible. The walk back to their room had been one of the longest as he struggled to keep up with her and keep his eyes from devouring her beautiful form. His arousal was impossible to miss as she brushed her hands over him, making him release a low growl as she pushed harder against him. He wasn't sure he would be able to stop this time.

She was moving quickly, pushing her hands beneath his shirt as she pulled him toward the bed. They had done this many times, each bringing them closer to the edge as they tested their limits. He couldn't count the hours they had spent in their bed, clinging to each other as their lips and tongues tasted the other. This time, he wasn't sure there was a force in existence that could tear him away from her.

Lowering her onto the bed, he lifted her dress, needing to make contact with more of her skin. He grabbed her legs, sliding his hands up her thighs as he covered her neck and chest with his lips. His shirt was tossed to the floor as he ripped open the front of her dress. Desperation flooded the couple as their clothing was dismissed, each trying to fill the void that only the other could. She bucked against him, silently begging him to fill her as their passion took control of her.

His mind was screaming for him to stop. Everything within him knew that she would never forgive herself if she released her magic and with his fingers moving to bring her to the edge, he knew it was close. She rocked harder and faster, trying to bring her release as he began to back away. Grabbing his hand, she whispered for him not to stop and suddenly he was gone.

Opening her eyes, she jumped up to find him. Richard was sitting on the edge of the bed, facing away from her with his elbows on his thighs and face in his hands. Pulling her dress over her chest, she inched toward him slowly as she tried to make her heart stop pounding. She froze in place as she realized how close they had come and with a silent gasp, she covered her mouth with her left hand and crawled out of the bed. He turned as she disappeared behind their changing wall.

He knew what was going on in her mind and that behind that thin wall, she was doing her best to keep him from crying aloud. Standing, he pulled his pants on and walked over to her. Kahlan was sitting on the floor, against the wall with her head back and eyes closed as tears leaked down her cheeks. She knew that he was there, but couldn't bring herself to look at him, not after what she almost did.

Silently, he slid his back down against the wall to sit beside her. He didn't know what to say, there was nothing that could be said that would make her feel better. Wrapping his right arm around her shoulder, he pulled her to him and rested his chin on the top of her head.

"I'm sorry."

"It wasn't your fault."

Shifting in his arms, she tightened her arms around her chest. "Yes it was."

Closing his eyes, he smiled. "We haven't lost control like that in some time."

"I'm sorry," she repeated softly through tears. "I didn't mean for it to go that far."

"I'm glad it did. I like seeing that look in your eyes."

"What look?"

Ignoring her question, he pulled back and handed her nightgown. If he told her that the darkness in her eyes from her magic was one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen; that it was one of his favorite things about her, she would tell him how dangerous it was and how he should fear it. "We should get some sleep. You have an early meeting with the council."

"You didn't-"

Richard stood up and walked away, leaving her sitting on the floor, alone. "You will need your rest."

She didn't move for a few minutes, hurt and confused by his actions. He had never walked away from her before and it only made her feel worse. He had given up everything to be with her and yet, he had nothing with her. This wasn't the first time they had to stop before she had brought him to his release and she knew how frustrating it was for him. It was only a matter of time before he needed to seek pleasure elsewhere and when that time came, it would break her.

Shaking the thoughts from her mind, she wiped her cheeks and took in a deep breath. If there was one think that she knew, it was Richard would never hurt her in that way. He would live the rest of his life without release and never complain, but then again, he wouldn't need to. Quickly, she changed and walked out into the open. He had blown out the candles, leaving only the moonlight as a guide.

He was lying in the bed, eyes closed with his head upon his arms. The blanket was pulled up to his waist, leaving his chest exposed to her hungry eyes. With quick speed, she crawled onto the bed and pulled back the blanket. Richard opened his eyes as she pulled at the laces of his pants and before he was able to stop her, she had him in her hand. It wasn't the first time they had found themselves in this position, but it was the first time he attempted to stop her. She pushed his hands away, wanting desperately to give him what he needed.

"Kahlan, you don't have to do this." His voice was soft, but commanding her attention, making her stop instantly. "Come here." He pulled her to him, hugging her as tightly as possible so that she couldn't move away. "It's all right, don't cry..."

Her tears continued to hit his chest silently, even as she felt his heart beat begin to slow into sleep. The comfort of his arms not enough to clear her mind; she didn't think anything was.