Riku's month had taken so many ups and downs, he wondered if by the end of it reading the Red Book would be more comforting than insightful. He was sure his emotional stability was on the line if anything more happened to compromise whatever confidence he was holding onto. Thinking back on it, it had been a rollercoaster; how he'd started out lonely, to meeting Lea and finally deciding he was willing to give the whole "boyfriend" thing a go, to whatever it was he was feeling now felt like a muddled nightmare. He wanted to scream, but instead bit down hard on the side of his mouth, and hammered on Lea's door again.
The look of absolute disbelief that had dawned on Lea's face when he realised Riku's best friend and roommate was his ex's brother was one Riku wouldn't forget. He was sure his own expression probably had harbored the same jaw- agape look of horror; in fact even now he couldn't quite believe any of this was happening.
"Please no" Lea had gasped, staring at Riku like he'd just hit him.
"Lea, wait a sec, it's not as bad as-"
"Your roommate is... your friend is…"
"Roxas' brother" Riku finished quietly, unable to take the anxiety building up within him once again. "He's your ex." Riku said it out loud to himself, "You- you're the psychologist that got him kicked out of uni?" Riku looked up at Lea, who was like a deer caught in headlights.
"Lea-" He was shaking his head slowly.
"If I had known, I wouldn' have ever- I" His words were slurred from drinking, but it didn't seem like being drunk was helping him cope with the situation; Lea stopped, not looking at Riku, and leapt out of his chair so fast Riku didn't have time to grab him "I'm sorry" Riku heard him whimper, before he pushed past a shocked Olette and ran up the stairs, out of sight. Other patrons at the bar looked over in confusion as Riku tried to take in what has just happened. Olette was on him faster than he had time to react, she looked distraught.
"Oh no nono, I had a feeling he couldn't do it" She pulled at her apron in worry "He's never even told me half of it without breaking down" Riku stared at her.
"It's worse than you think" He whispered, his head was thumping with a repetitive "fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck" of panic. "He- I, I don't know what to do" Riku looked back down at his phone, there were about 5 more messages from Sora that he was too afraid to open.
"What happened?" Olette asked, lowering her voice with a panicked hiss.
"I – he- we just found out my best friend is his exs brother." Olette stared at him.
"What do you mean you just found out?!" Riku shook his head, unable to properly reply. He handed her his phone shakily. Without saying anything, he watched her open the messages he'd received, he couldn't see the screen. Her bottom lip trembled a bit as she scrolled. "You haven't read these?"
"Just the first" he replied.
"…and Lea?"
"Just the first" He whispered.
"Don't" She replied, handing his phone back with the lock screen on.
Riku nodded, he had a feeling he could imagine what sort of things Sora was thinking. Of course Riku, awful, sordid past Riku would be sleeping with the guy that ruined Roxas' life. Of course. Who else? He felt sick, he didn't want to upset his friend, but he wasn't going to walk away from Lea just because Sora thought he was a bad guy, no way. He had to know the whole story, not just the whispered words between Roxas and his family.
"I'm gonna go talk to him" He said, looking towards the stairs. Olette looked shocked
"I'm so glad you're saying that" She sounded like she might cry. "Here, take this" it was a bottle of the rum Lea had been drinking.
"I thought there were no drinks upstairs?" Riku asked, smiling as he took it.
"You're going to need it" She replied as he ran after Lea, two steps at a time.
That was how he'd ended up standing outside his boyfriend of not 5 hours door, hitting it repetitively, and trying to talk Lea into opening it.
"Lea – please – open the door. I know you must feel pretty shitty right now, but please. I just wanna talk." He was leaning against it, sick of standing. 'Please" He said, hating the feeling of guilt welling up. This was his fault, how had be not realized? It had been there in front of him the whole time. Sighing at the lack of response, he tried again.
"I'm gonna fall asleep here, going home to Sora isn't what I want right now, so just let me in whenever you're ready" He wasn't expecting a response. He thought for a moment he heard someone moving, but it went away as quickly as it started, and Riku was left feeling alone again. He stared down at his phone, knowing that he'd have to face Sora eventually. Realizing he didn't have much choice, he opened up their chat.
Lea?
Riku pls listne to me he isnt who you think he is
nami told me what happened
he's the psych that hurt rox!
i think it just nort all over again
call me asap ok?
Riku wasn't sure what he was feeling, it wasn't the numb, apologetic guilt he was usually hit with when Sora worried about him. Instead, he felt jittery, his heart rate climbing as he reread one particular line of text;
i think its just nort all over again
Biting his bottom lip, Riku leant harder against the old wooden door, his fingers shaking as he figured what to type. What could he say to that? Lea, anything like the man that raped and hurt him? He realized he didn't know the whole story between Roxas and Lea, he hadn't even known the redhead for more than a week. But somehow, somehow, the idea that someone as nice as the freckled idiot would hurt anyone as horribly as nort had him - it made him feel sick. Riku balled his hand into a fist and out again, trying to breathe.
He had to look at both sides, Sora had been bitter about Roxas' expulsion since it happened; his brother was a smart kid, smart enough to get a merit based scholarship, why did he deserve to be thrown out? Of course there had been the fight with his roommate, the apparent assault against Lea, but didn't that come down to his mental health? And then, wouldn't that be reason to consider him for assessment or a second chance?
Riku stared at his phone for a moment longer, brain still foggy from the alcohol and lack of sleep he'd been facing over the past week. If it did come down to Roxas' mental health, wouldn't the decision for him to stay at the uni or not be down to a psychologist - down to Lea?
Suddenly, things seemed to be falling into place.
Getting up from his seat against the door, Riku tucked his phone into his back pocket. He wouldn't be able to respond to Sora without knowing both sides of the story, and anyway, he couldn't be angry with him for thinking this was him making stupid mistakes all over again. From Sora's point of view, Lea really was the bad guy here, and maybe he was right. Even people with a heart of gold could end up doing things selfishly.
The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
With a sigh, Riku rapped on the door again, the sound echoing around the concrete walls.
"Come on, Lea! You don't even have to talk… I just wanna know you're ok" He called with a resigned sigh.
There was a click and the low squeak of the turning knob before the door swung inwards. Standing at the entrance, looking disheveled and sheepish, was Lea. The area around his eyes was red and puffy, cheeks still stained from crying. Riku regarded him slowly, before stepping inside a carefully closing the door behind him; Lea stared at the floor the whole time, looking like tears may threaten him again.
"Ku, I..." Lea mumbled, still staring at the floor. "I didn't mean for any of this to happen"
Riku put the rum down on the table, hesitating before he asked quietly. "What happened between you two?"
Lea glanced up, at him, sighing to himself before sitting down at the table near Riku. "I made a lot of mistakes"
"Tell me."
"I-"
Before he could start, there was a tap on the door, it sounded like the beat to an 90s pop song, although he couldn't be sure. He glanced at Lea, who was looking towards the sound.
"It'll be Ollie, she's probably worried."
"I'll let her in?"
"Yea"
She was out of her apron, her black tank and pants still showing stains of splashed alcohol, green eyes peering around Riku to where Lea sat.
"Is he ok?" She asked with a hiss, leaning against the door frame. Riku shook his head in response. "Figures" She said sadly, and then glanced back up at Riku. "There's someone here asking for you - blonde, my height, looks like she must've run here"
Riku blinked in surprise. Namine was here? He remembered Sora's message,
Nami told me what happened
"Where is she?"
"Just down there" Olette replied, motioning down the stairs.
"You bought her up with you?" Riku hissed, looking back at Lea.
"She said she wanted to talk to Lea, and that she was sorry for telling Sora. She didn't realise the mistake until it was too late."
Riku massaged his head, he was too drunk to be dealing with this. But it looked like he was going to have to.
"You can both come in I guess. Need some sober heads"
Olette nodded quietly and called down for Namine to come up. She was in her favorite plain white dress and a travelling coat, her face was tinted pink. Under her arm was the backpack she carried all her artwork in, she must've taken it with her when she left the library.
"Riku" She said sadly, before looking away, eyes averted.
"It's ok, come in I guess, fun party in here"
He turned and went back to Lea, whose chin was down in his arms, regarding the bottle of rum with a look that told Riku he wasn't holding together well. Glancing back at the girls, who were now making their way to the other seats, Riku hoped he was making the right decision.
"Man, the gang's all here" Lea quipped, glancing up at Olette and Namine.
"Lea... my name is Namine, I work with Riku" She was clutching her bag, watching Lea sadly. "I also... I also know Roxas"
"Great" Lea sighed glancing around him.
Riku decided he'd done enough watching, pulling his chair closer to him and leaning in as he spoke.
"You don't have to tell everyone the story if you don't want to"
"Yea! I mean I already have a pretty good idea" Laughed Olette nervously.
Lea shook his head, glancing up at Namine before continuing.
"I've been putting off having this conversation for a long time. Nothing will change if I don't." With a sigh, he pulled the rum bottle to him. "Where to begin, though?"
Riku listened to the story in silence, a tight knot forming in his stomach as Lea explained how he and Roxas had met. So much for a professional relationship, no wonder Lea had switched into research. As he told the story, his voice sounded flat and full of regret, arm often finding his hair as he pulled at it nervously.
"I thought there was something up, y'know? He was manic, I think, acting really joyful I mean. It was different to how the medication should have worked. I should've known when he came here with me"
"I remember that day" Olette said quietly. "You both did tequila shots. Ten each or something?"
Riku felt something tighten in his chest at that. Tequila huh. No wonder Lea had tried to avoid it back in the bar. Idiot, why hadn't he just said something?
"Yea" said Lea quietly before going on. "After that night, I started avoiding him – referred him to a different psych"
"He didn't go" It was Namine, she had been quiet up until then, silently drawing as Lea spoke. Lea glanced at her, his brows furrowed.
"I- I didn't know that"
"I know" She looked at him sadly, and then down at her drawing "We met in my art class, he was taking one as an elective."
"Then you know what happened?"
"Hm, but you should finish"
Riku and Olette looked between the two. There was something about Namine's tone that told Riku she had a lot more to say.
"I got a call… he had been arrested. They asked me what I knew and I told 'em, I told 'em I thought he might not be taking his meds."
"How can they tell?" Olette asked.
"Drug test" Riku said quietly.
"Hm" Nodded Lea, giving Riku a glance, a small smile flickered on his face before he continued. "That was it, I wasn't asked anything more. I went home, and then a few weeks later, he came to the office and he. That was when he hit me."
"You kinda deserved it" Interjected Olette.
Lea grimaced "Yea, I did. It was my fault – all of it."
"So is there no way you can convince the university to let him back in?" It was Namine, her voice raised quickly as she leant towards Lea. She was clutching her sketch to her chest. "You were the psych in charge, you could tell them about the relationship, and-"
"And lose his job?" It was Olette this time, her lips were pursed. "The kid was the one that chose not to take his meds and hit a person, that wasn't Lea's fault."
"But Roxas deserves a second chance! I saw him when Kairi and I visited the islands on our trip. He's depressed, he hates not being able to study. If Lea could say something, he might be allowed back in."
"Even after a whole year?" Riku asked quietly. He was thinking about his own problems, about Nort. Both of the girls were right. But then, what should Lea do?