"So…I'm back with the Empire." Piett said. "The story is that I was kidnapped…so…I'm hoping they don't chop my head off." Piett shrugged. "Better then spending the night with Leia…God…she would give Vader a run for his money in the freak-olympics." Piett sighed. "The Emperor knows…he decided to send me to a therapist…a woman named Karen…really nice. Really nice…I'm...thinking about asking her out…don't know…"

"Piett?"

The camera turned to reveal Durge, slowly reaching for his blaster.

"Did anyone tell Durge what really happened?" Cody asked.

Sly shook her head.

"Piett!" Asajj cried out as Durge raised his weapon, pulling the trigger…

…only to grab at his throat and gasp.

Vader stood, hand outstretched, force choking the bounty hunter. Durge gurgled quietly before he finally collapsed, dead.

"Apology accepted, Durge." Vader said coldly.

&&&

"Every day, I force choke someone." Vader said. "Turns out today I finally did it to someone that deserved it. Who knew?"

&&&

"I don't see what the big deal is." The Emperor said coldly.

"Vader murdered one of our employees!" Tarkin snapped in annoyance.

"Not like it isn't a common occurrence."

Tarkin sighed. "The problem is that now, Boba Fett is demanding that he be paid more to hunt down the rebels."

The Emperor groaned.

&&&

"I don't want to talk about it." Asajj said simply. "I'm serious." She stared at the cameraman. "I said I didn't want to talk about it!" She flicked out her lightsaber, slamming it forward, the camera falling to the ground as the camera screamed in agony.

&&&

"All things considered…I'm lucky Vader was there…" Piett paused. "Unless he was trying to strangle me and missed…"

&&&

"Hey…Vader…I never thanked you for stopping Durge."

"No need. A sith does not help others. I killed Durge because I wanted to…you could have died for all I cared."

Piett frowned. "I…got you a gift."

Vader grabbed the box Piett was holding, wrapped in pink foil, and threw it into the incinerator. "Sith do not accept gifts."

"uh…that was your lightsaber…I had it cleaned."

"…mother-"

&&&

"You ready for me?" Boba Fett asked, shouldering his blaster.

The Emperor nodded. "yes." Boba sat down. "no…lets do this in the conference room." Boba stood up. "On second thought…we can it here…" Boba sat down. "No…conference room."

&&&

"I've been reading up on negotiating tricks…one of my favorites is switching rooms…confuses the person." The emperor paused. "Of course…I left everything in need in my office…"

&&&

The Emperor and Boba stared at each other, neither saying a word. The Emperor was playing with a pen, Boba polishing his blaster.

&&&

"Trick number two…refuse to speak first."

&&&

"I think they killed each other." Xizor said. "I hear nothing."

"My optic sensors show two heart beats. Do your human hearts continue to beat after dying."

Xizor pointed to Durge's cold, dead body, which still lay stiff on the floor. "Why not check him and see?"

&&&

Finally, tired of waiting, Boba began to speak, The Emperor smiling in satisfaction. "The thing is, with Durge dead, I have to work twice as hard to track rebels, and as such, I believe I deserve a larger bounty."

The Emperor stood up. "Boba…you are a good bounty hunter, and a good man. But…times are tough…what with us losing the Death Star…"

"Holy shit." Boba said, chuckling. "You're wearing panties."

The Emperor looked down, noticing that his robe had come open, revealing a pair of pink laced underwear. He quickly closed his robes, frowning.

"no…those are briefs."

"Those are panties." Boba laughed, pulling out a camera phone. "I need a photo of this!"

The Emperor, annoyed, stormed out of the conference room and marched up to Asajj. "Look at my underwear."

"We discussed this before, that's not part of my job description." She said, never looking up.

"I'm serious. Tell Boba these aren't panties."

Asajj looked up, jaw dropping. "Oh my God, you're wearing panties."

"You're wearing panties?" Bob asked, confused.

Aurra Sing grinned. "Hey, we match!" She pulled her pants down a little, revealing that she was wearing the same set of panties.

&&&

Piett stared at the camera. "And…yet another thing for my psychiatrist Karen and I to discuss."

&&&

The Emperor sighed, looking over at Boba. "I want you to write down the amount you want, per bounty, and slide it over to me."

"Why?"

"because…its cool."

Boba sighed, quickly writing down he proposed bounty, and slide it back to The Emperor, who calmly read it…before his eyes bugged out. "Are…are you drunk?"

"Not really…still a bit high from last night."

"What?"

"nothing."

The Emperor shook his head. "The point is, what you are asking for is way…way too much."

"I don't think so. Jabba is paying me that much for each bounty."

"That isn't true." The Emperor said.

"What do you mean?"

The Emperor scoffed. "Jabba barely pays the Empire this much in bribes…"

"No way…you're making less then I am?"

"That's not…" The Emperor began, only to groan as Boba took out is IPhone, sending some text messages about the Emperor's lack of pay.

&&&

"At me atleast take you out for a beer after work." Piett said.

"First off, I can't drink beer. It makes me tipsy and causes me to sing David Bowie songs." Vader said sternly. "Second, let me ask you…when Han Solo shot me down and helped young Skywalker blow up the Death Star…did he do so the get a free beer?"

"Uh…"

"No, he didn't…but you would know that if you had bothered to gather any info while you were kidnapped."

&&&

Han frowned. "Hey…you're right…why didn't I get a free beer? HEY PRINCESS! Get your lopsided rear out here, we need to talk about my payment!"

&&&

"Emperor…here is the 15 credits I owe you." Bob said.

"Thanks." The Emperor said. "But it was only 10."

"Yea, but I figured, what with your money problems, you will need this more then I will."

&&&

Xizor nodded. "Yes…I heard how much Jabba bribes the Emperor…even less then he bribes me." He smiled slightly. "Booyah."

&&&

"I know…I know…its so small…" Boba chuckled. "Yea…I'd feel pathetic too…very unmanly…oh, and get this, his bribe money from Jabba is about as small as his pe…ya…ok, ok…bye Mrs. Palpatine." The bounty hunter hung up his phone. "You mom is nice."

"Yes…yes she is…but Boba…I can't increase your bounty…I don't have the funds."

"You'd have it if you'd get Jabba to pay you more."

"I…I can't do that."

Boba scoffed. "And why not? That slug is wiggling in money. He gots mad honeys and greenbacks all over. You need to get paid!"

The Emperor nodded, picking up his phone. "You're right…you're right…I'm doing it…I'm doing it now." He hit the speed dial.

"Gorba?"

"Jabba…this is the Emperor. We need to talk about your bribe payments."

"Nor tusu bibib."

The Emperor frowned. "I will not wait…lets do it today. I'll bring Boba."

"Thogimu?"

"Yes, Boba…"

"AAAA! Nosu wabbie!"

The Emperor frowned. "That wasn't something nice to say! I'm coming right now…come on Boba!"

&&&

Later on, The Emperor and Boba sat in the waiting room of Jabba's palace, preparing for the negotiation.

"You ready?"

"Yes." The Emperor said.

"You remember that huttesse phrase I taught you?"

The Emperor grinned. "Toyuku roj fuuu!"

&&&

"IT means, "Your mother was a whore"…I just can't help myself." Boba laughed.

&&&

"What is this?" Vader asked, picking up the certificate that lay on his desk.

Piett frowned. "I…don't know."

Vader read the paper. "This certificate honors a special boy for his bravery and heroism…" He shook his head in surprise. "Wow…"

&&&

"Yea…the Emperor has a bunch of those that he gives out to sick kids during his press junkets…" Piett grinned. "See…there is a teddy bear wielding a lightsaber in the corner."

&&&

"The honorable Lord Jabba wonders why you are here." The translator droid asked.

"I'm here to get my money, bitches." The Emperor said, just as Boba had taught him.

The translator relied this to Jabba who grumbled his response. "Lord Jabba asks why he should give you a larger bribe."

"Uh…because I'm me? I'm Palpatine, on the scene, down and out with OPP?"

The translator droid told Jabba this, who furrowed his brow. "Lord Jabba askes…are you high right now?"

"High on my high horse, bitch." The Emperor said, giving the camera a thumbs up.

Jabba roared out in frustration, hitting the translator droid. "The…mighty Lord Jabba states that you are lucky to receive what you do…he will not pay you any more."

"Oh yea…well… Toyuku roj fuuu!"

Jabba froze, staring at the Emperor…before he began to tear up. He sobbed sadly, the translator hurrying to pass on the message. "Lord Jabba never knew his mother…this news brings him such closure…yes, as payment…he will give you what you wish."

"Damn straight."

&&&

"See, that is the thing about negotiations…you never know what will happen. Did I think I would get a bigger bribe. Yes…yes I did." The Emperor paused. "So…I guess I was wrong…you can know what is going to happen."

&&&

The next day, Piett entered, a tanned skinned, dark haired woman following him. "Hey guys…I'd like to introduce you to my new girlfriend…my psychologist, Karen Flipelli…"

Karen smiled. "Hel-" She gasped, grabbing at her throat, before she fell to the ground, dead.

"Apology accepted." Vader said, releasing the force choke.

&&&

"Am I a hero? No…I'm just a guy that kills people that might be a threat. The real heroes are those that kill not because of duty but because of passion. Son of Sam…the Unabomber…Karl Rove. They are the real heroes."