Disclaimer: I do not own Castle.

"Dad?" she whispered and the line went silent, only the shallow breathing from the other end could be heard as she waited for his response.

"Katie? Katie bug is that really you?" his voice was full of disbelief and joy at the same time.

"Yes dad, it's me" Kate said, hardly believing that she was actually speaking to her father. She had dreamed of hearing her parents voice was so long, the fact that she was now speaking to him overwhelmed her. She choked back a sob, trying to stay as positive as she could, for his sake as much as her own.

"Katie. Oh my God Katie" his voice was broken as he spoke down the phone.

"It's me dad. I'm OK" she was far from OK, but for now that would do.

"You're OK" he repeated softly to himself more than her, "Katie I. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry" he whimpered.

Kate bit her lips between her teeth to stifle a sob as she tried to hold back her tears. Hearing her dad's voice in her ear brought back memories of her childhood, how he would read to her before she went to sleep and then when she got older he would tell her all about the work he did and how both him and her mother helped people seek justice.

"Dad I"

"Where are you?" he interrupted, his voice desperate, demanding answers for the sake of his own sanity.

"I'm with Detective Castle. I am staying at his loft until the case is resolved" she explained.

"Kate. Katie did they hurt you?"

He was crying, she always knew when her dad cried, his voice got choked up in his throat as his lips smacked together and he stuttered out the words.

"No Dad, I'm OK." She hated lying to him, she didn't want him to know what they had done to her, but then again she still felt angry that she had even experienced it. A part of her wanted him to know she was hurt, she wanted someone to blame for the mess that her life had become, but that person wasn't – couldn't, be her dad.

"Can I see you Katie? I need to see you." He begged

"I want to see you to dad." She told him, "maybe this Saturday? You could come here?" she suggested.

"Yes. Yes I'll be there" he replied quickly, "what time?"

"Um, half eleven?"

"Half eleven, I'll be there"

She reeled off Castle's address and listened contently as her dad repeated it back to her twice, making sure that he had it correct. She didn't want to say bye, going so long without speaking to him only made her miss him even more but at the same time she knew it wasn't goodbye, she would be seeing him again soon. As bravely as she could she said goodbye, she heard his disappointment but he bid her farewell none the less.

"I love you Katie" he whispered and then ended the call before she had a chance to respond.

She held the phone in her palm for a while even after the call had ended. She simply stared at the black screen, thinking of how many times over the years her dad had told her that he loved her and she hadn't responded. She usually responded with 'you too' or 'same here' but never actually telling him that she loved him. For some reason she had always struggled to tell anyone, be that her parents or a boyfriend that she loved them, it was as if the words got stuck in her throat and she couldn't vocalise exactly what she was feeling and instead came up with something without the same significant meaning behind it, but would fit the purpose.

Putting the phone back on the bedside table she leaned back into the pillows and closed her eyes. Her stomach was filled with butterflies at the thought of her first physical therapy session in the morning. She dreamed of being strong again, of being able to climb the stairs quickly without having to worry that her legs would give out on her and send her crashing to the floor. Or her arms. Her arms had always been strong, she even had a pull up bar in her bedroom to practice, but after months of her arms being incapacitated they were weak and even holding a hardback book for a long period of time felt like she had been lifting a hundred pound weight. She was excited to get back to who she really was, no longer the victim in this mess that had become her life. She had always been a fighter and survivor and she would fight, and eventually overcome this.

She woke up early the next morning, 5:47 to be precise, far too early for her 10 o'clock appointment but she couldn't sleep much longer. It was only then that she registered the time of the clock and what had woken her. It wasn't 2am and she wasn't waking with a throbbing pain coursing through her back or a numbness in her arms from attempting to sleep on her front to avoid the pain. No it was the sunlight. The warm glow that radiated into her bedroom from the New York sun, bathing the room in an orangey glow that warmed her skin and calmed her aching muscles. She lay there until the sun had rose, simply staring out the window before closing her eyes and letting the colours dance behind her eyelids. She loved mornings like this. Her room in the house had the smallest window in the top left corner of the room, far too small to let any real sunlight in, which meant that unless her captors graced her with leaving the hall light or the ceiling light on, she was encased in darkness. She found now that she didn't like being in the dark, that it reminded her all too well of being plunged into the darkness for hours on end with no way of knowing when they would be coming back for her.

She'd missed mornings like this. Wrapped up in her duvet in the early hours as the sun rose over the city skyline. She had always been a morning person, and even as a teenager she would wake up early ready to face the day ahead. She liked waking up early, it gave her time to fully appreciate the whole day, another thing that she had grown to miss. Waking up early now was making up for all the time she had spent away from the outside world. She stayed in her room for another hour before going downstairs for breakfast. She decided on cereal, something light that wouldn't stick in her stomach for when she would be exercising. She was excited. No, she was nervous, but excited. She worried how much her body would be able to take and what they would actually do today, and how much she would need to do at home, and who would her therapist be, and would Castle stay with her? Would Castle stay with her? That thought hadn't crossed her mind previous, but sitting opposite him as he popped some bread in the toaster and mumbled something about needing to go grocery shopping, made her wonder if he would stay with her. She hoped he would

The waiting room was quiet much to Kate's liking. Most of the people there were either on crutches or had some form of support around one of their limbs that would surely tell a story of how they had broken something and were still recovering. People spoke in hushed tones as if they weren't allowed to speak at full volume in case they missed their name being called by their designated therapist before they were let into the main room.

Kate watched three people go in before her, all were invited in by a different physiotherapist, most were young and looked fresh out of college and Kate hoped that she wouldn't have one of them. Not that she felt like she deserved a more mature person, it wasn't that at all, but she would prefer someone who would acknowledge her situation and not ask too many questions.

"Hey" Castle said, drawing her attention to him and off the door that led to the therapy room, "you OK?" he asked.

"Yeah. A little nervous, but I want to get better. I've actually been looking forward to this all morning" she admitted shyly.

"You've been looking forward to it?" he asked in skeptically.

"Yes. Well mostly" she confessed, "I'm looking forward to getting back to being myself again. The whole exercise and pain not so much, but the end result will be worth it"

"You know I think you're the only person I know who could see it that way. In my experience physical therapy has always been-"

"Ms Katherine Beckett?" a male voice called, interrupting Castle mid-sentence.

"That's me" Kate replied, whipping her head around to see an older man dressed in blue gym pants and a white polo shirt, standing in the doorway holding a thin file. She stood up, clasping her bag in her hands, it only contained her phone but somehow it felt normal to take a bag with her when she left the loft. "Are you coming Rick?" she asked nervously.

"If you want me to" Castle asked and watched Kate nod eagerly in response.

The two followed the man into the therapy room. It was lines with exam tables on one side with curtains around and exercise machines, mats and other equipment on the other side. They were led into one of the cubicles and offered a seat as the man drew the curtain around them and sat opposite them, holding her file and a clipboard in his hands.

"Good morning Kate, my name is Alex and I'm going to be working with you, it's nice to meet you" he greeted, reaching out to shake her hand.

"It's nice to meet you too" she replied. "This is Richard Castle, he is um. He is a friend"

"Mr Castle, nice to meet you" Alex offered, shaking his hand as well.

"Likewise" Castle smiled, setting them all at ease.

"So Kate I've had a quick read through your file. I understand your case is a sensitive one, and all I know is that it has been suggested that we work on building your muscle tone up and working on your balance?"

"Um-hum" Kate nodded in agreement

"OK, well can you tell me how you sustained the injury, it says that you went for a prolonged period without the full use of your arms or legs, this kind of injury usually relates to when a person is recovering from a broken bone, but I didn't see one mentioned in you file?"

'No you won't because I spent nine months chained to a bed' Kate thought, luckily she didn't verbalize it and instead settled with, "it's a long story. I was, um, ill for a while and needed to be, um, looked after"

"Right" Alex agreed, but the disbelief in his face was evident, "well today will mostly be about testing your muscle strength as it is now and working out where we need to go from there. We will put an action plan in place and work out how regularly you will need to attend sessions here"

"So will we do some exercises today?" Kate asked hopefully.

"Some small ones yes, but not for too long. Think of today as trying out lots of exercises and seeing which one works best for you"

At his words Kate's face dropped, she wasn't expecting to be running marathons anytime soon, but she at least expected to do some form of exercise that would tire her out today, at least she would go home feeling that she had achieved something. The therapist must have noticed because he tilted his head to look at her and slid his pen from his fingers to the hold on the clipboard.

"Kate?" he asked, and she looked up at him, "I understand you want to get better, and looking at you, you seem the type to want that to happen right away. I'm going to be honest with you and tell you that it doesn't work that way. What we do now will benefit you in the future, it is no good putting you on a treadmill and asking you to run when after one minute your legs collapse beneath you. What may seem tedious now, won't be in a months' time." he explained, smiling sympathetically at her. He had seen people like Kate before, people who would push themselves to the brink of passing out or even passing out in some cases in order to force their bodies to be healthy again, but the reality was that these people were usually the ones who ended up pushing back their recovery.

"I understand" Kate sighed. The feeling of excitement and nerves that she had felt all morning had now been replaced with utter disappointment at the lack of physical activity she would be doing today.

"Great well, if you want to hop up onto the table and we can test your joins just to test your flexibility and then we will move onto your muscle strength. Would you like Mr Castle to stay?" Alex asked.

Kate looked to Rick, unsure of how to answer. She wanted him to stay, for some reason she felt safer when he was around, especially when she was with a stranger, but then again there was no real reason for him to be there. Kate had always been independent, as soon as she was old enough to do something by herself she would ban her parents from helping her, claiming that she was 'old enough to do it herself', even if it was a simple thing such as going to the store to buy groceries, as soon as she turned 13 she went by herself, feeling extremely independent and grown up. However, right now she felt like she needed someone, like the time her father had carried her inside the house after she fell off her bike and grazed her knee. Right now she needed someone to carry her through this and be with her, even if that meant standing behind the curtain, just so she knew he was there.

"I can wait outside the curtain if you want Kate, or in the waiting room, or I can come back in an hour when you are done, whichever is easiest for you?" he rambled, it was as if he could read her like a book.

"Would you stand outside the curtain please?" Kate asked cautiously. She still found it hard to ask for anything, as if she felt she had no right to be asking for something that may calm her and keep her grounded.

"Of course. Let me know if you need anything" Castle replied before stepping outside and drawing the curtain around the cubical.

Kate watched as he left until only his shadow remained on the other side of the curtain. Once she was sure that he would stay there she glanced over to Alex who had moved his chair to the side and looked ready to begin the session. He asked her to remove her shoes and socks and lie down on the exam table. Kate complied, feeling the smooth leather under her skin as she tried to calm her body down, she wanted this, she needed this, but she had to find a way to settle herself.

"Can you um" Kate began, catching Alex's attention, "can you tell me what you're going to do before you do it? Please?"

"Sure, I'm going to start with your feet, so flexing and rotating, then the same with your knees and hips and up to your arms. If at any time you feel any pain or want to stop let me know"

Kate nodded. She'd never been for physio before so was unsure what to expect when he began rotating her left ankle and then her right, bending it forward and then pushing it back, having her press against his palm as hard as she could whilst he pushed against her. The same with her knees, although they were a little stronger, she was able to push against his hand more firmly, showing she had slightly more control over her legs than she originally thought. Endless days of lying on a mattress staring at the ceiling had definitely taken its toll on her muscles and it was only now when he was asking her to use all the strength she had to push against him that she realised just how weak her body had become.

"How does that feel?" Alex asked holding her foot to open palm and asking her to push against him once again.

"Um" her voice was strained, she wasn't about to tell him that she felt like if she carried on she wasn't going to be able to walk home, "it aches slightly" she admitted.

"OK, on a scale of one to ten, ten being the worst, how bad?"

'Eight!' Her mind screamed, but she replied, "Like four maybe?"

"That means eight" Castle said from the other side of the curtain, she'd almost forgotten he was there until his little outburst.

"Sure it's a four Kate?" Alex asked again and the look in his eyes told her that it would not help her to lie.

"Maybe it's a six" she said through gritted teeth, she might have been in pain, but she wasn't about to let Castle be right.

"OK, well it seems that you have some muscle wastage on your left foot, more so than on your right, but we will do some more exercises just to confirm and set exercises for you to do accordingly. Now if you sit up we can have a look at your arms"

Kate did as she was told and pushed herself into a sitting position. For some reason the mention of his looking at her arms worried her more than her legs. Her arms showed the scars of abuse she had suffered, the small white lines around her wrist from the handcuffs and the chunk of skin that was missing from her upper arm where she had been flung into the door frame after refusing to use the bathroom with Owen standing guard at the door.

Alex manipulated each of her joints, staring with her fingers, then her wrists, up to her elbows and finally her shoulders. Once again asking her to push against him to test her strength, if he saw the scars he didn't mention them and Kate couldn't be more thankful. She wanted this to be the start of her healing, not reliving her past.

They moved on to testing the strength in her muscles as Alex asked her to stand facing the wall, pull one foot back and feel the stretch in whatever muscle was left in her thin legs. She tried, she honestly did, but it wasn't long before she felt the fatigue set in and she had to ask for a break. To say she was annoyed at herself was an understatement, she had every intention of continuing and forcing her body to follow her commands, but it wasn't responding the way she wanted. Alex pulled her chair back over and asked Castle to re-join them before excusing himself to get Kate some water.

"So, how's it going?" Castle asked once Alex was out of earshot.

"You were only stood there Castle, just because you couldn't see me doesn't mean you didn't hear me have to ask for a break"

"And you think that's a bad thing?"

"I just thought I would be able to do more" Kate shrugged.

"Kate it's your first session" he reminded her, "like Alex said, you need to give it time. Has he given you any exercises to do at the loft yet?"

"Not yet" Kate shook her head.

Castle nodded, taking in the silence that surrounded them. He could tell she was upset, it was written all over her face. He so desperately wanted to help her, to remind her to stay positive, that this was only temporary and that given time she would heal. But then again, he didn't want to make promises that he couldn't keep.

Alex returned with a plastic beaker of water for Kate and what looked like an over sized red elastic band. He sat himself down and passed Kate the water, greeting Castle as he did so.

"So, after that tell me honestly how you are feeling?" he asked Kate as she drank half of the water, quenching her thirst she didn't realized she had built up.

"A little achy, my arms and legs feel like they have been exercising for hours"

"That's normal, but you don't feel light headed or sick?"

"No, nothing like that" Kate confirmed.

"Good, that's what we like to hear. So I thought we could take a break and discuss what exercises you can do at home and then schedule another session for the same time next week"

"Are we not going to continue now?" Kate asked hopefully.

"Not today. I don't want you to push yourself too hard." He paused, waiting for Kate's reaction, if she had been in this situation a year ago she would have demanded that they continue until she said she had had enough, but now her fight was gone. She hadn't argued back in a long time and instead simply nodded her head in understanding.

"Kate I know this isn't what you want" Castle said, wanting so badly to reach out and take her hand to reassure her that he was there for her. "But we can still do some exercises at the loft, and I will help you, it's not like you are giving up" he reminded her.

"It would be a great help if Mr Castle was to help you with the exercises, that way you can both see the progress you are making" Alex added.

"OK" Kate sighed, "What do I need to do?"

Alex explained what stretches she needed to do in order to tone her muscles, how many times and for how long each day. He explained that by using the rubber band it would support her muscles but would also challenge her and make the stretches harder to complete. They talked about light exercise; swimming, walking and possibly cycling if possible, no running or weightlifting and only for short amounts of time to begin with until she felt more confident. Alex instructed Castle on how to support Kate and help her complete her daily tasks and advised them on building them into her daily routine in order to make it seem less invasive of her life. If it became a part of her every day routine, then there was less chance of her feeling that it was taking over her life.

After taking some leaflets and booking the next appointment they left the therapy department and made their way to the car. It didn't take long for Castle to notice that Beckett was tired, she leaned against the door the entire ride home, letting her eyes fall shut about half way there as the cool breeze from air conditioning cooled the sweat along her brow. The session had really taken it out of her, more so that either of them had originally intended. Castle hadn't seen her like this before, or if she had felt like this, she hadn't let on to him. She had bottled it up just like she had done with the rest of her feelings.

They pulled up at the loft a little after one and Rick wasn't surprised to find Kate still sleeping in the passenger seat. He felt bad for having to wake her, he knew she didn't sleep properly and daytime naps were not uncommon for her. He whispered her name softly, hoping to draw her gently from her slumber without startling her. She didn't stir. He moved his hand to her upper arm and nudged her slightly calling out her name once again, this this louder with every intention of waking her.

Her body jumped in response and curled in on itself, her hands grasping at the door as her mind caught up with exactly where she was. Castle waited until she had settled and her grip on the door relaxed. They didn't speak about it but her eyes told him everything he needed to know, she was afraid. Afraid of being woken in such an abrupt way, scared of being in a locked car or scared of him, he didn't know yet, but he prayed it wasn't him.

Once in the apartment Kate made her way to the bathroom, feeling deflated at her lack of evident progress. She tore her clothes off her body and flung them on the floor before stepping into the shower. She was angry with herself, she wanted to do more, she expected to do more and it just wasn't happening. She wanted to run, or to lift weights, anything to feel her muscles ache and the sweat pear on her forehead. She wanted to finally feel like she had achieved something.

Castle had mentioned to her that he needed to go to the precinct that afternoon to see how the case was going. She still hadn't asked about her mother, it was too much too soon for her and after the morning she had endured she simply wanted to crawl back under her duvet with a good book for a few hours and forget everything that was real and live in the imaginary, just for a little while.

The precinct was as busy as it usually was, murder boards lined up with detectives filing new evidence as he walked past, holding three carefully balanced take away coffees for him and his team. As much as he had enjoyed the amount of time he had spent at the loft he knew he needed to be back at work. He'd felt bad about leaving Kate alone and had made sure the front door was locked and she knew where the key was. He felt like an overprotective father telling her not to open it unless she knew exactly who it and informing the desk manager that he should call if she left the building. He wasn't being over protective because he didn't want her to leave, he knew it was good for her to get out of the house, but as long as one of her captors was still on the run, he wasn't about to take any chances.

"Hey, look who decided to show up" Esposito commented from his desk as Castle came into sight.

"Hey guys" Castle responded, his usual upbeat tone gone and replaced with exhaustion that he didn't realise had affected him.

"Hey" Ryan greeted, walking from the break room to join the trio, "how's Kate holding up?" he asked.

"She's - handling things. Some things better than others. She went for physical therapy this morning"

"That's good" Ryan commented, but the look on Castle's face told him that is wasn't good.

"It was tough. She wants to do more than what her body is capable of right now. But she's working on it and that's all that matter right now. She's doing what she can to move on and we need to help her by finding Jonathan Landers and putting him away from kidnap and murder, so catch me up" Castle waited for their response, but he could tell by their faces that it wasn't what he wanted to hear.

"Man's a ghost." Espo stated, grabbing a file from his desk. "The only thing we have on record for him was an assault charge on some man named Jason Buxton four years ago. Apparently he and his younger brother Owen assaulted him but the charge was dropped."

"Any other family member?"

"Nope just him and his brother. Parents are dead and his sister passed away four years ago"

"He had a sister"

"Miss Lucy Buxton" Ryan added, handing Castle a photo of a young woman with brown wavy hair and large brown eyes.

"What happened to her?"

"Cause of death was unknown"

Castle sighed, although this was more information it was nowhere near enough to help them find Jonathan.

"However" Ryan added, forcing Castle to look away from the image of the girl and towards the other detective. "I did a bit of digging into Johanna Beckett, do you remember when we said she began closing all her cases or passing them off to other lawyer?"

"Yeah, her daughter was missing, it was hardly surprising that she would want to focus on that."

"I know, but there was one case that seemed a little off. Just two weeks before Kate was kidnapped, Johanna Beckett received a letter from a Mr Joe Pulgatti, he claimed that he had been framed for the murder of Bob Armen and wanted Johanna Beckett to investigate and prove he was innocent."

"Ok, but what does that have to do with Kate's kidnapping?"

"Well apparently Johanna was all for helping this guy until one day she received a letter from an unknown person telling her that unless she closed the case and stopped investigating then her daughter would be killed"

"So this was a ransom. Not for money but to keep whoever the real killed was from being found out" Castle exclaimed, standing from his chair and grasping at Johanna Beckett's file. "We need to find out who sent that letter"

"We tried" Espo said, drawing Castle's attention away from the file. "That letter was squeaky clean. Whoever did this, is more than just some random guys off the street"

"Kate said they were professional."

"Yeah these were no amateurs" Ryan added.

"Ok, so we know more now. We know that whoever kidnapped Kate needed Johanna Beckett to stop investigating, so they blackmailed her in order to stop her. Did she close the case?"

"She tried, and Mr Pulgatti was insistent, sending letter after letter to her to try and get her to investigate"

"Why didn't she pass it onto someone else?" Castle asked.

"The letter was explicitly clear. No one is to investigate and that file was to be buried. If it ever came back into play she would lose her daughter"

"That and it wasn't in her nature" Ryan added, "she fought for justice, I spoke with some of her former colleagues and they said she wanted justice for all, they said it would take a lot to stop her."

"Did they know about the kidnapping?"

"Not at the time."

Castle sighed, settling himself back down in her chair.

"We have more now. We have something to work with. Ryan try and find out everything you can about Joe Pulgatti's case, see if there is anything strange. Esposito you look into the sister, I want to know more about what caused her death, and maybe it has something to do with why these men were involved in Kate's kidnapping"

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to talk to the captain. See if she will allow Kate and me to go back to the crime scene."

Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed! Please let me know what you thought and thank you for all your reviews, follows and favorites on this story!