Lonny drove them to the local funeral home and waited outside for them. Will let Mac handle getting the information while he stood back and took in all the options. He had no idea it was this complicated. Mac got all of their options and arranged for the funeral home to pick up John McAvoy's body from hospice.
Once they were done at the funeral home, Will placed his hand on Mac's back and escorted her back to the car. "The hotel please, Lonny," Will said.
Once inside Mac's room Will said, "I'm going to take a shower," and walked through their connecting doors into his room.
Mac changed into more comfortable clothes and was sitting on the bed when Will knocked on her door. "You don't have to knock," she said.
He nodded and came in and collapsed on her bed, face first into her pillows. Her hand was on his back, rubbing him, trying to ease some of the tension from his muscles. "Feels good, Kenz."
She turned so that she was able to massage his back with both hands. "Oh, God," he moaned when she dug her thumbs into his shoulders.
"Too much?"
"No. Feels good."
His muscles were one big knot and she knew it was from all the stress. He pulled one hand out from under the pillow he was currently resting on and placed it on her leg. He needed to be touching her. After a few more minutes she stopped and lay down next to him, their heads sharing the same pillow. Will opened his eyes and said, "thank you."
"You're welcome." Her fingers were sifting through his hair when he lifted himself up and leaned in to kiss her. It wasn't like the brief kisses they'd shared before. His tongue was pushing to get access to her mouth and when she opened her mouth their tongues were entwining and teasing one another. His hand was resting on her side, just below her breast. He never moved to touch her breast, they simply lay there kissing and making out. She could feel how hard Will was against her hip but this was about kissing and nothing more. They weren't ready for more but they were getting there. Will pulled back when he heard her stomach growl and smiled at her.
"You hungry?" he asked, tucking some hair behind her ear.
"If my choices are food or kissing you, kissing you is going to win every time."
"How about we order some pizza and we can eat and talk a little bit."
"Okay," she said not knowing what he wanted to talk about.
"Then we'll get back to the kissing," he said and kissed her and pulled back, sitting up on the bed and grabbed the telephone directory. "I don't think we're going to have many pizza options. Are you okay with Dominos?"
She was still lying back, watching him. "That's fine. Please make sure there are some vegetables on the pizza," she said and got off the bed and walked into the bathroom.
When she came out of the bathroom he was on the phone and she could tell that he was agitated. She watched him start to pace the length of her room. When he disconnected he slammed his phone down and stalked into his room and he returned with his computer and sat down on Mac's bed.
"What's happened?"
"Evidently it's a story that my father died," he said, navigating to Page Six's website.
Mac sat down beside him and was rubbing his back while they read the article. "Let Charlie release a statement," she said.
"I'm not news," he said.
"It will go away faster if you put out a release. If you don't want to do it from ACN then use your publicist, but it needs to be out there to counteract this crap," Mac said motioning toward the website that had the story up.
"I'll call Charlie," he said and disappeared into his room, but he didn't close the doors.
When their pizza arrived a few minutes later Will was still talking to Charlie, so Mac paid for their dinner and took the boxes from the delivery guy, giving him a generous tip. She brought their dinner into Will's room and saw him standing at the window, staring out at the hotel pool. "Dinner's here."
She saw him nod and he turned and came to sit at the table. They ate out of the box and slowly Will began talking. She knew he needed some time and that he'd eventually talk to her. It was a matter of time.
"Peter called to tell me about the Page Six story and made sure to tell me that it was the talk of Lincoln."
"I'm sorry, but your little brother is a prick, Will."
That made Will laugh. "He is, I can't disagree with you there."
"Is this a new development or has he always been this way?" Mac asked.
Will thought back over the years and his interactions, which were limited in the last few years. "As an adult he's always been a prick. He was a fun little kid, but when he became an adult that changed and I don't specifically know what changed, but something did and I think he enjoyed calling to tell me about the story."
She put her hand over his and he linked their fingers. "Is Charlie putting out a release?"
Will nodded. "Good, it will help," Mac said.
They finished up their dinner and took a short walk with Lonny trailing them. When they got back to their rooms they caught up on the day's news and were watching TV on her bed. Will saw her yawn.
"Are you tired?" he asked.
"Little bit, but I'm okay to stay up a while."
"I should get out of here and let you get some sleep," he said getting up and walked to their connecting doors. He turned and looked at her.
"You don't have to go," Mac said.
He nodded. "I need some thinking time. I'll come make sure you're all tucked in, in a while."
She watched Will walk through their connecting doors but he didn't close them. She could hear him moving around and heard when he finally settled on the bed. She heard the clicking of his keyboard. He'd asked for some time to himself and she understood that completely. She changed into her pyjamas and climbed back into bed to think about all that had happened during the day.
She fell asleep thinking about Will but something woke her up several hours later. She could see him sitting on the floor in their shared doorway, simply watching her sleep.
"Are you all right?" she asked.
He nodded and wiped at his cheeks. "I didn't mean to wake you up, I'm sorry. I'll go back to my room."
"You don't have to go, Billy." He was turned away from her and she could see his hand on the door, gripping it tightly from the ambient light from his room. He slowly turned around and she could see how upset he was.
"May I," he started and then shook his head. "Never mind."
"Billy, it's okay, what do you need?"
"May I sleep in here with you?"
She smiled at him and lifted the covers in invitation. He was already in his boxers and moved to the bed and slipped under the covers. "You're sure you don't mind?"
She rolled over and wiped his cheeks and settled down in his arms. She felt him relax once in his arms.
"Thank you," he said and kissed her head.
Once Will settled down he quickly fell asleep. They were both up early the next morning getting ready for breakfast at Mary's. Lonny drove them all to the diner and he took a stool not too far from Will, but enough to give him some privacy.
"Hey, Jess," Will said to the woman sitting alone at a table in the back.
"Will," she said and got up to hug him. He easily returned her hug. "Are you okay? Pete said you were there when he died."
Jess suddenly realized that Mac was standing behind Will. "Jess, this is Mackenzie. Mac this is my sister Jess," Will said, making the introductions.
"I'm sorry for your loss," Mac said.
"Thanks."
"Shall we sit?" Mac asked.
Jess looked like she was about to object when Will said, "Mac is here for me. Anything you would say to me you can say in front of Mac. She knows everything," he said, guiding Mac toward a chair and then sat next to her, taking her hand in his.
Jess sat down across from them. Mac could tell she really wasn't comfortable with her there but she wasn't leaving Will alone with his siblings for anything.
Mary brought Will and Mac each a cup of coffee and said good morning to them. She asked Will to come with her for a moment and he followed her into the kitchen leaving Jess and Mac alone.
"Have you known Will a long time?" Jess asked?
Mac nodded and said, "many years. Is your sister joining us this morning? I thought you might have driven down together."
"Cassie will be here, but she will be late, it's simply how she is so she was driving herself," Jess explained. "When did you and Will get here?"
"Day before yesterday."
"Can we stop with the small talk? You obviously know everything or you wouldn't be here with Will, he wouldn't allow it, so let's not pretend we're one big happy family."
Mac liked that Jess was straightforward. "I'm here for Will and to support him in any way he wants or needs."
"So you're fucking him."
Will chose that moment to re-join Mac and Jess and heard her last statement. "My private life, Jessica, is simply that, private. You don't get to know what is going on with my relationship with Mac. That's ours. If you want to be involved in my life then maybe we need to talk more than when a death occurs. Please apologize to Mac."
Mac started to object and Jess said, "no, Mac, I am sorry, that was inappropriate and rude."
"Thank you," Mac said.
"Too much has happened," Jess said and let the thought trail off.
Mac wanted to yell at Jess and tell her what an incredible man she was missing out on knowing but this wasn't the time or place and Jess had to want a better relationship with Will and she wasn't sure that she did want that relationship.
Peter arrived at the diner and kissed Jess' cheek and said good morning to Will and Mac. They were all trying to be civil to one another when Cassie finally arrived. Will stood to hug her but she wasn't thrilled with the idea of hugging Will, but finally gave him a half-hearted hug. Mac was ready to strangle all of Will's siblings. Over breakfast they finally worked out the arrangements and decided that the funeral would be the next day. There weren't many people that John was close to and those that he was already knew about his death and they'd personally let them know about the service. Pete and Cassie were petulant about every decision that had to be made. Jess was the voice of reason and was able to finally get Pete and Cassie to agree with what Will was suggesting. Both Jess and Mac knew that they were objecting simply because it was Will that had made the suggestion.
After breakfast and all the decisions made Will and Mac went back to the funeral home and set everything up for the next day.
It really didn't take very long for Will and Mackenzie to get everything set up at the funeral home and by midday they found themselves sitting in a coffee shop in Lincoln, lazily passing the time away.
Mackenzie looked across at Will and tried to catch his eye. She was starting to worry about him more and more as they sat drinking their coffees – since the breakfast meeting with his brother and sisters he seemed to be shrinking into his shell and the quieter he was becoming. They'd been sipping their coffee's for ten minutes now and Will had made absolutely no attempt to even start a conversation with her, his eyes were distant the whole time and it looked to her like he was trying to hold back tears for all he was worth.
After another couple of minutes of total silence, Mac pulled her chair a little closer to Will and let her hand rest lazily on his thigh. "Want to talk about it?"
"Not really, it's all just a pile of shit," Will muttered and turned his attention back to his cup of coffee.
"Will, I'm here to help, with anything, even if that's just talking. You know you can talk to me."
"About what?" Will answered, his eyes meeting hers for the briefest of seconds.
"About whatever's going through that head of yours."
"I'm fine," Will whispered but even he didn't look like he believed what he said.
Mac sighed and let her fingers rub little circles into his thigh for a few moments, a gesture she knew that he used to love, it was always a sure way to relax him in the past and Mackenzie hoped and prayed it still worked. The man was beyond frustration at times, when would he ever realise that he always felt better when he talked to her. Will left it another minute or so and then placed his hand on top of hers, still resting on his thigh.
"Mac?" Will asked with a hesitant look on his face, "Maybe we can take a walk while we drink these?"
"Of course," Mac replied standing immediately and snapping a lid on their coffee cups. Something in his eyes was telling her that maybe she had been right and talking would be a good idea after all.
They strolled out of the coffee shop and within a second Will had reached for Mackenzie's hand as they walked along Main Street, Lincoln. It seemed to be a natural thing since they'd arrived, they'd been holding hands or simply touching somehow near enough all the time but something inside Mackenzie was wondering whether this would just be a Nebraska thing or would it be this natural and easy with each other when they were back in New York? Bit by bit they had been talking things through and Mac undoubtedly believed him when he said he wanted to move on with her – she just questioned if he'd be able to fully forgive her and start afresh once they were back in New York, and more importantly when they were back at work. She certainly hoped so because if she was completely honest with herself, even under these dreadfully trying circumstances, she hadn't felt this happy inside for nearly six years and she wasn't too sure whether she could go back to being just good friends with the man she loved more than life itself.
"I don't get why they hate me so much," Will said quietly bringing Mac out of her own daydreams as he steered them off Main Street and onto a side road, "I've never actually fallen out with any of them you know, but they just resent me, all three of them."
"They don't hate you Will," Mac replied squeezing his hand a little tighter, "hate is a strong word and it's the wrong word to use here. They don't treat you as they should treat a brother like you but they don't hate you, especially not Jess, I could tell that by the way she looked at you."
"Jess is the only one who seemed actually willing to hug me today."
Will's voice trailed off sadly and he sighed.
"Iris is right you know," Mac whispered quietly, almost frightened of Will's reply.
"About what?"
"They need to know what happened in the past Will. I know you'll hate to hear this right now but Iris is right, they should know."
Although Mac's voice was low and loving she could feel Will physically tense holding her hand and soon he let out a low frustrated growl. "Why do you and Iris keep saying this? I don't get it?"
"It's the right thing to do, that's all I'm saying. It would improve the relationship between you and your siblings."
"How? What good would it do Mac? Seriously, how would that help the situation?"
"Because, then they'd understand the relationship between you and your father Billy. They'll understand why you hated him most of your life and they'll understand why you stayed away for so long. Jess already knows it, I can tell that, but Pete and Cassie, they were too young to understand what happened before and for some reason the whole family have been protecting them for their entire lives. They're adults now Will, you can stop protecting them."
"You don't understand how hard it was Mac, you couldn't."
"I know that and of course I don't understand, I could never understand and I'm not trying to be flippant," Mac whispered as she stopped them walking and pulled him around to face her. "No one could understand that unless it had actually happened to them, but it did happen to you Will. It happened to you and it happened to Jess and the other two, pricks, should at least know about it."
Will shook his head and glared at Mackenzie, willing her to see his point. "Why ruin the memories of their parents too? Isn't it enough that Jess and my memories are in ruins? Why do that to Pete and Cassie's too? Why ruin four childhood memories when two can be salvaged?"
"Because then they actually might be a bit more civil toward you Will. Your childhood is gone and your parents are no longer around. All the four of you have family wise is each other and if they knew, then they might actually treat you with the love and respect you deserve."
Will dropped Mackenzie's hand and stared at her hard before he turned and walked away slowly, his head bowed and his shoulders looking like they were carrying the weight of the world on them. Mac had seen that look before, just yesterday when Will had stalked off angry.
"Please don't disappear again," Mac said quietly but loud enough for Will to hear, "please Will, come back."
Will stopped straight away and Mac physically saw him take a deep breath before he turned around and slowly took a couple of steps back towards Mackenzie. Her heart ached so much for him as she noticed the unshed tears glistening in his eyes and the way he was almost biting his lip to control his emotions from gushing out.
Mackenzie reached for this hand straight away and pressed her lips to the back of it once he'd slipped his hand inside of hers.
"Sorry," he whispered and once again Mac could see the little lost boy staring back at her.
"Shh, you don't have to be sorry, just don't leave me again when you're angry," Mac said referring to yesterday. As Will nodded she leaned in and pressed the softest of kisses onto his cheek and she swore she felt him relax a little as she gripped hold of his hands tightly.
"You just don't get it," Will whispered as Mac pulled away a moment later.
"I do get it Will, I promise I do," Mac replied in that same soft loving voice she'd used a moment ago, "I get you want them protected, the same way you wanted to protect your Mom and Jess and that's fine, I really do get it…. But Will, this might sound harsh but I only care about you and not them. I'm sorry if that's not right but that's all that's important to me here. I want to protect you in the same way you want to protect them and I can't bear to see them treat you with such disdain and you not be willing to do anything about it."
"You don't have to protect me you know," Will whispered a moment later but he couldn't keep eye contact for very long because all his life he'd longed for someone to protect him and truly love him. He stared down at his feet but it wasn't long before Mac reached up with her hand and lifted his chin so he was once again looking in her eyes.
"I want to Will. I care about you, you know that right?"
Will paused for a minute and then gently pulled his hand from Mackenzie's and cupped her cheek, before he leant in and pressed a tiny kiss to her lips.
"I care about you too, very much," Will whispered, his eyes soft and his voice so low and tender.
Their eyes locked for the longest moment before Mac smiled and tried so hard to ignore the heavy feeling in her chest and stomach. She wasn't quite sure how much longer she could go on holding in these feelings of complete and utter love for him but right now she didn't feel she could burden his already too stressed mind and body with any more talks about matters of the heart.
"Come on," Mac whispered, "we shouldn't do this here, we'll end up on Page Six and that's just going to make everything worse." Will nodded, knowing she was right of course and started up the road again, his hand once again slipping back into Mackenzie's. They walked in silence for another few minutes or so until they turned right again onto a side road.
Will turned to Mac, looking slightly embarrassed, and smiled "do you mind if we stop here for ten minutes or so?" Mac looked to where Will was pointing and saw an entrance to a cemetery. "It's where my Mom's buried," Will explained with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders.
"Of course," Mac whispered, squeezing his hand as they made their way to the entrance.
Once inside Will stopped and looked around trying to get his bearings, before nodding his head and making his way right. "I haven't been here since the day of Mom's funeral but I'm sure it's this way."
"Would you prefer to be alone?" Mac asked, suddenly realising that this should be a personal moment but Will shook his head and gripped her hand tighter. For the next five minutes they searched the headstones until Will suddenly stopped, his eyes staring straight ahead. Mackenzie followed his gaze and there, a little way ahead of them was Jess sat on the grass at their mother's graveside, her legs crossed and her head bowed.
Will paused for a moment and was tempted to turn and disappear but Mac squeezed his hand and pushed him forwards a little. "Go talk to her Will," Mac said, a caring smile on her lips, "I'm going to head back to the entrance and I'll meet you there when you're done."
"You can stay," Will whispered but Mac was already shaking her head, wanting desperately for Will to spend some time alone with his sister.
"I think it'll be better just you and her, go talk Billy and take your time, I have a ton of emails to read," Mac said, holding her blackberry up and then surprising Will with a tender kiss to his cheek before she turned and walked away.