The jiggling action of the jeep combines with the crunching noise of its tires striking the gravel lane underneath to cause me to come to a more conscious state of existence. I feel very befuddled as I try to both open my eyes and remember why my stomach clenches with pain. There is a dry, grotesque taste in my mouth similar to having eaten turpentine, I think.
As my eyes flutter open, I see a very determined Alice staring through the windshield of the jeep. My memories of the evening begin to rise to the forefront of my hazy brain. Wine, Jacob, motorcycle, Edward's voice, ... oh god I have to pee. We may be close to the house but I am never going make it. "Alice, stop now," I demand. "I have to pee. I have to pee reeeeeeeeeeally bad."
She seems shocked at my blatant vocalization, but she brings the jeep to a complete halt. "Bella, we are almost home," she states. "Can't you wait?"
"No" I say while jumping from the jeep. I immediately slide my pants and my undies down so I can squat. I attempt to hold my clothing away from my body as urine begins to flow in a golden stream from my body. Keeping balance while trying to hurry up and finish my business seems to be a task I am not quite up to accomplishing. I feel my naked butt touch the grassy ground under me as I loose what little equilibrium I seem to be missing even on my sober days.
After rearranging my apparel, I make my first attempt to get back in the vehicle that has my body sliding back down to the wet ground below. Note to self, people lacking normal skills of agility only get worse under the influence of alcohol. I slowly drag myself into the jeep finding that I am out of breath and sweating once I make my trek back complete.
Still huffing for air I turn to Alice, "This is it isn't. Do you have any idea what is about to happen?"
"No," Alice says, "but I don't have to see the future to know this is not going to be good. Edward was furious when I hung up the phone. Let's get this over with ok?"
"Yeah," I mutter, "I just hope I can salvage something here."
After Alice pushes the gear shift to drive, we continue down the rocky lane to the Cullen home. Before coming to a stop at the front door, I can already see that many people are outside. At the bottom step stands Jacob, tall and defensive. Upon the porch, Edward leads the group with Carlisle standing to the left behind him while Jasper and Emmett bring up the right. The guys are all there, but Esme and Rosalie seem to be missing.
With a last gulp of air, both Alice and I get of the jeep. I just stand next to the vehicle while my friend, my sister wastes no time in joining me. This feels a lot like a walk to an execution. I am still confused how I got to this point as my memory is scattered along with my gut that seems only able to twist and turn. I feel the bile rising in my throat reminding me of the burn the whiskey had when I swallowed it earlier. The fire may not be as intense, but its presence only continues to make me feel very ill.
"Bella," Edward says. He seems torn between worry and anger at the moment, but even amid these strong emotions, I can see that he is also relieved if only for a moment.
"Edward," I mumble, "I am so sorry."
"Don't Bella," interjects Jacob. "You have nothing to be sorry for. I know this blood sucker has driven you to this."
"No," I say completely exhausted. It is so hard to make my mind work. "No, Jake, this has nothing to do with him. It was just us girls out having fun, and it went too far."
"I'll say it went too far," he hisses. "I have never seen you like that before. Not even when that parasite left, you never turned to alcohol."
"My gosh," Alice springs to life. "Bella is not turning to alcohol. It was Lauren's idea, and it is not like other kids don't drink around here."
"I guess," Jacob whispers.
""Look Jacob, I am fine. Edward and I are fine," I explain. "The only thing that happened is that I succumbed, that sounds funny. That is that I fell under peer pressure and didn't know what to do."
"I knew that little cheerleader was bad news," Edward jeers.
"No, I am the one that decided to drink, and I guess I just got carried away," I grind out while holding my arms around my stomach. A vicious camp seizes my internal organ causing me to bend over. I swear this is never happening again. Too much liquor is like inflicting the stomach flu on oneself for fun.
Edward is at my side in less than a second, "Bella, are you okay?" He picks me up to cradle me in his arms. "Carlisle, you need to look at her."
His father is next to me now, gazing in my eyes, touching my forehead. "Son, she is fine," he says. I can't miss the disappointment underlying the sound. "She is just experiencing the beginning of what is called a hangover."
"I still don't believe it," Jacob pipes up. "I just know you caused this to happen Cullen."
"No, Jacob Black he didn't," I yell. "I did it. I drank, I decided to go for a ride on your bike, and I am the one that is being a teen. God will you drop it, and someone get me something to puke in..." I am trying to swallow the vomit that is climbing up my throat back down, but another heaving action in my gut is demanding to have its day. Suddenly out of nowhere, Esme is beside me holding a trash can and pushing hair from my face as I hang my head down and throw up. Since I have already hurled a few times prior, there is really not much more than bile and spit to release, but I continue to gag empty breathes of non producing stale air. The violent action makes me cry. I am worn out, I still feel sick, and yet again I have done something stupid.
Edward seems to always know what I need and lays my head against his shoulder. He then goes on to rush me to his room and carefully put me down on my feet. He doesn't leave my side although I bet he wants too as I catch a whiff of my current aroma of alcohol, puke, urine, and whatever was on the ground. I feel absolutely filthy
"Bella, I want you to go take a shower, love" he says as he leads me to the bathroom. He leans me against the door frame as he speedily turns it on and adjusts the water.
Crying, I blabber, "I am so sorry Edward. I don't know why I did this."
"Stop little one," he pulls my shirt over my head and then begins to assist me in taking my pants down. I am so wobbly I feel like a child's toy. "We will talk later, but right now I want you to get cleaned up. I will be back in a minute."
The door closes as I step into the shower. The warm water seems to mix with my body to create a puddle of human existence in the corner. I don't think I have ever felt this bad in my life. I guess this why there are scenes in movies of an ignorant person hungover chanting never again. My head is already playing this message over and over in my brain. Never again. Never again. Never again.
My arms are too heavy to lift them. I just stand there under the cascade of wetness trying to will myself clean. I can't help but wonder what my Edward is thinking. I have really done the ultimate, dumb adolescent stunt. But I didn't mean to, I knew at the time it was a bad idea, so why? What caused me to do this?
I can't blame anyone really. I guess I just got caught up feeling better after taking care of the tickets and shopping, so I just kept going with the so called flow. I squint my eyes shut knowing this line of reasoning isn't going to help, but asinine thought processes seem to be all I am capable of having.
The door to the bath squeaks loudly to announce my vampire's entrance. I hear him sigh and grouse, "That dog smell is still here." He reaches for the shampoo and carefully pulls me forward. "Let me wash your hair dear." He goes through the actions of placing shampoo in his palm, rubbing them together, and finally caressing my head.
"Bella, lean your head back a little farther so I don't get soap in your eyes while I rinse," he instructs me. This is so sweet. Maybe he will just mark this little episode of careless behavior as a temporary lapse in judgement. Yes, that seems reasonable, but my conscious reminds me that my memory seems to be failing a lot lately...no seatbelt, tickets, drinking, riding with Jacob...the list is really mounting.
"A-hum," my guy clears his throat. I wasn't even aware that he had washed my body and turned off the shower, but here he is wrapping me in a towel. "I just don't know what to say to you right now Isabella." Ut oh birth name is never a good sign, but I feel so warm and clean.
He leads me into his bedroom where he takes a second towel to dry my hair after sitting me down on his bed, his big comfy bed. I struggle to remain in the present as I feel my eyes wanting to shut down for the night, or is it morning?
"Isabella," he starts. Damn there is my name name again. "We have to talk about what happened tonight. I am sure you realize that I am upset with you. I just don't know what has gotten into you." He seems to be talking more to himself then me really. "I know you know better than this. Drinking, really Bella, it is against law, and riding a motorcycle with that werewolf without a helmet is just beyond words."
I am trying to listen, I am trying to open my eyes. Damn I feel like someone glued my lid shut. Wait a minute, I don't remember getting under the covers. I scoot back to find my cool solid man cradling me.
"Edward," I call out hoarsely. "I am so sorry. I am really not sure how all this happened. I I I..."
"Shhh," he begins to rock me. OOOO that is not good for my stomach, and I think I have thrown up enough for one night.
"But I know you want to talk..."
"Bella go to sleep. We will talk in the morning or when you wake up," he says continuing that back and forth motion that is going to make me loose whatever may still be remaining in my digestive track.
"Stop the rocking," I grind out between my teeth. "God do you want me to toss my remaining stomach contents on your bed."
The movement is stilled immediately as I can hear that all too familiar growl. "Let's just get this over with because I know you are mad. I mean damn, you have that Cujo frothing at the mouth thing going."
"Isabella Marie," he snarls. "I am not discussing this with you tonight. You are going to get the rest you need, but I assure you that we will be talking about what happened tomorrow. I want you sober and totally aware of what I do to make sure that you never even entertain the notion of riding a motorcycle unprotected with anyone especially a werewolf or of getting drunk or of lying to me again."
Now I feel awake but my mind cannot comprehend all the accusations he is hurdling at me. All my mind keeps saying over and over is that I didn't mean to. I feel tears running down my cheeks as I stammer, "I said I am sorry. I don't want a spanking, please." I think a five year old has taken residence in my body. Why in the hell am I even mentioning the idea of a spanking.
"Shhhh, Bella," I feel my lover soothingly run his thumb across my cheek erasing my tears. "Go to sleep my little girl. I don't want you to make yourself any sicker." He now barely strokes my back while humming my lullaby. I am afraid but I am tired.
"Please don't be mad," I whimper. "I don't want a spanking." I can't believe how much I sound like a small child, a small child that is in a lot of trouble.
"Guess you should have thought of that earlier," Edward whispers, kissing my forehead. My sleepy melody begins again, and my fight with mindfulness is lost as I dip into a restless slumber.
-Author Note-
I realize that this might not be what people are expecting, but here are my reasons for this chapter. 1) Bella's carelessness here has nothing to do with Edward per say. It is just her being careless and wanting to be teen. Remember she has been more of the adult in her childhood. 2) Even though Edward is upset, he loves her too much not to see to her well being first. This is why he is cleaning her up and making her sleep, mostly anyway. 3) The stage is set for Bella to reveal that she really feels safe with Edward which allows her to stretch out of her isolated shell. She has to learn how to do this in reasonable way which will come with time. Finally, there is a lot I can do here but my main focus will be on Bella and Edward. Let me know if you would like to see Edward's talk with Jacob and his inner reactions to seeing Bella drunk. Of course there is a spanking coming but I just don't want to throw it in here without having a reason for it. As always let me know what you are thinking, I love your reviews.