Chapter 10

July 28th, 1975

On Monday, Ennis and Jack took the kids up to Lightning Flat for a week. Jack had called his mother and explained to her that the situation had changed, and that he and Ennis were together now. She'd sounded very happy for him over the phone, but they both knew that Jack's father would not like this. Still, Jack wanted her to meet Ennis and the kids.

Ennis had quit the ranch the Friday before, and for good reason. He'd decided that enough was enough, and that he wanted to spend more time with his family. This had proved insightful; they had gone to see the ranch near Loveland at the weekend, and had both fallen in love with it. The ranch was of a good size, plenty for a herd of cattle and some horses. There was space for the kids to play outside without being in danger of the animals.

The house was everything they had wanted. A two-storey like the one they'd seen before, and quite similar on the outside, including the wraparound porch, but the interior was better. There were more bedrooms, enough so that the kids had one each. There was even an office for them to handle their finances and business. It would be a home, like one they'd never had before.

"How far to go, bud?" Ennis asked as they filled up on gas. Jack had a map spread out on the back of the truck bed, the tailgate down as he looked over it. He had made the trip to Lightning Flat plenty of times after their trips, but things were different. They had the kids with them and he'd never made the trip from Riverton before.

"Reckon about another hour," he replied, seeing where they were. "Ain't long, an' the kids seem okay."

"Yeah." Ennis was nervous. While he knew that Jack's mother had seemed okay with their feelings for one another, soon she would be seeing it for herself. She would see them and know what they did when they were alone. Jack had told him that she was okay with them sharing the spare bedroom, which had a double bed, but he was still uneasy about Jack's father - he hadn't been mentioned, and that looked foreboding.

Jack noticed his sudden quietness and sighed a little. "Hey...it's gonna be okay. She probably loves you already 'cos you make me happy. She's a mama...an' she just wants me to be happy."

"It ain't her I'm worried about, Jack," Ennis told him, giving him a meaningful look.

"I know," Jack replied, folding up the map and clapping him on the shoulder. It was all the comfort he could give out here in front of strangers. "Don't worry, cowboy; we're grown men, we can handle him." They got back into the truck, seeing that the kids were busy except for Junior, who had fallen asleep.

They resumed their drive, and their thoughts headed in the same direction without even realising it. They were thinking about things that had been said; Jack telling Ennis that he was being a good husband to him, and Ennis telling Amy that he would get married again if it was made legal. The topic of marriage kept cropping up now and then, and both of them had to wonder if it was a sign. Obviously, they couldn't get legally married, but they didn't have to draw the line there.

Jack had been thinking for a while that perhaps they could have something between the two of them. Even though he knew that neither of them would go for a big ceremony anyway, even in front of family and friends, they could do something by themselves. Both of them had discarded their wedding rings a few weeks ago, not long after Jack had arrived to live with Ennis, and technically they were free now. Free to love each other and do whatever they pleased. Jack wanted to marry Ennis, even if it wasn't legal. He wanted them to make a real commitment to each other, to show the world that they weren't ashamed. But he wasn't sure if Ennis would want to wear a ring ever again; his previous marriage hadn't exactly worked out, and even though they were in love, perhaps a ring would remind him of how badly he'd handled things before.

Little did Jack know, Ennis was thinking along the same lines. He would never be comfortable with doing something in front of others, but a small ceremony between the two of them wasn't out of the question. There were things he really wanted to say to Jack, to show him how strong his feelings were. He wanted to make Jack some promises even though Jack had never asked him to. As for a ring...Ennis could admit that he'd never liked wearing his old one. He'd felt trapped, bound to a woman he would never love. If he had a ring that symbolised his love for Jack, that would be very different. He wanted to be bound to Jack; to the man that he loved with all his heart.

As both of them thought this over, they knew it would have to wait. They would be moving soon, as their offer on the ranch had been accepted by its seller. The two of them would be meeting the owner and having the paperwork sorted with Sarah on August 2nd, and they would be moving in as soon as they could. Something like marriage would have to wait until they were settled.

Still, as their hands linked together on the seat between them and they smiled at each other, they knew they would be okay. If they took things one day at a time, then they were bound to make it. And neither of them could wait for their new life together to start; it would be a clean slate for all of them; a chance to start over and achieve everything they'd ever wanted to.

When they reached Lightning Flat, Jack started to grow nervous. He wasn't sure what to expect from this trip, but he knew that his father would have more than a few words to say about his relationship with Ennis. John Twist Sr. had never passed up the chance to be cruel to Jack, and this would give him more ammunition.

Still, Jack knew that Ennis would be there if things turned nasty. He was very grateful to have Ennis by his side, with his unwavering love and support. Jack could fight his own battles well enough, but backup was always appreciated.

He drove them up the dirt road towards the ranch and the house came into view. Ennis was shocked; Jack had described how cold and foreboding it was, but the description didn't even come close to the actual place. He couldn't imagine someone as kind and strong as Jack coming from a place like this.

"Jesus," he breathed, looking up at the grey two-storey and the bleak landscape around it. "Can't believe you came from here, bud."

Jack sighed as he stopped the truck. "Well...here we go. Never thought I'd be comin' up here with you, bud." He gave a small smile and Ennis returned it, hoping that Jack knew how much it meant to him that they were both here, with their children.

"You grew up here, Daddy?" Bobby asked, as if he couldn't quite believe it. This was vastly different from their old house in Texas, and even the apartment was warmer than this place.

"Sure did, bud. Girls, you okay?" he asked them, and they nodded. In truth, they were as shocked as their father, unable to believe that Jack could have come from this place. The two men got out and Jack told the kids to wait; he didn't know where his father was and he would rather warn the kids first.

"Jesus, I hate this place," he muttered, casting a dark glance up at the house. "Never did like comin' back here, especially after bein' with you up on the mountains." He looked up at one of the bedroom windows, and Ennis guessed that it was his own. "You know...I used to look out of my bedroom window an' stare at the road, thinkin' about the day I'd get outta here an' find somethin' better. Never thought it'd be somethin' like this. You an' me, together..."

"I know, darlin'," Ennis told him, squeezing his shoulder. "You sure yer gonna be okay?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine." Just then, the front door opened and a small woman stepped out. She had dark red hair tied up in a loose bun and was wearing a simple dress covered by a blue cardigan. A smile lit up her face when she saw them, and Jack grinned. "Mama..."

"Jack, sweetheart. Come here..." He went up to her and hugged her tightly. No matter what his feelings about his father, it was clear that he loved his mother. Ennis hung back a little, unsure of himself now that she was here.

Jack pulled away and kissed her cheek. "Good to see you, mama."

"You too. Now where's this fella of yours?" She cast her eyes to where Ennis was stood awkwardly, and smiled. "Oh, Jack...is this him?"

"Yeah, mama. C'mere, Ennis." Jack gestured to him and he came over, watching her face. He saw no sign of disgust or offence; just simple friendliness. "Mama, this is Ennis. Bud, this is my mama, Rose Twist."

"Ma'am," Ennis said to her, tipping his hat. She smiled further and pulled him into a hug, to his surprise. Jack felt a lump in his throat at finally being able to do what he'd always wanted; to introduce his mother to the love of his life. For twelve years he'd wanted this, and now it was real. A part of him still couldn't believe it.

"You can call me Rose, Ennis," she told him, and broke away. "Jack...you said you had yer kids with you. Where are they?"

"They're in the truck. I told 'em to wait 'cos...I didn't know where my dad was." Jack felt bad about depriving his mother like this, but the children were his priority right now. He and Ennis could take whatever his father dished out, but the kids were unequipped to deal with his trademark snide comments. To be honest, Jack would have preferred to come here without ever running into his father.

She shook her head. "Never mind yer daddy; he's out in the field. Can I see 'em?"

"Sure." Jack retrieved the kids from the truck and brought them over. "Okay, kids...this is my mama, Rose Twist. Mama, this is my son Bobby, an' Ennis's girls...Alma Junior an' Jenny."

The kids smiled nervously up at her and she stepped closer. "Well...I bet that yer daddies are real proud of you three. You sure are a sight for sore eyes. You wanna come inside? I'm makin' cherry cake." The kids nodded and followed her in, automatically trusting her because she was Jack's mother.

Just as the two men were about to follow, they heard footsteps behind them and Ennis saw Jack wince. Sure enough, they turned to see an older man. He had greying hair and was wearing a dirty shirt with faded jeans. His expression upon seeing them was that of sheer distaste.

"Well...you sure don't have no shame, do you boy? Showin' up here with yer queer lover like you always said you would. An' you expect me an' yer mama to welcome him?"

"I would if I were you," Jack replied, trying to keep his voice even. "Yer grandson's in there, as well as Ennis's girls, an' I don't wanna hear none of yer shit in front of them, alright? Say one thing about us in front of 'em, an' we're outta here. Come on, Ennis." He unabashedly took Ennis's hand and led him inside, away from the cold hatred of his father and into the warm love of his family.

That evening, after a semi-uncomfortable dinner with Jack's parents, everybody got settled into bed. Ennis and Jack were in one spare room, and the kids had bunked up in another. Jack had fully expected his father to make a remark about the sleeping arrangements, but he was learning not to care so much. He was a grown man now, with a life of his own, and his father couldn't hurt him anymore.

The two of them settled into the hard bed with its thin quilt, already yearning for their warm bed back home.

"Shit, it's cold," Ennis groused, trying to keep warm even though it was summer. Jack turned to him, a familiar gleam in his eye.

"I know a way we can keep warm," he suggested slyly, eyes roaming over Ennis's body. Ennis went a little red.

"Jack...you sure? With yer parents around...?" Jack nodded.

"I promise to be quiet...when yer fuckin' my brains out," he replied, kissing his lover's neck. Ennis could feel himself becoming aroused.

"That what you want?" he asked, already thinking about it. The offer was very tempting.

"Uh huh...you gonna fuck me?" Jack whispered into his ear, and before he could say anything else he was on his back, Ennis straddling him and pinning him down.

"You bet yer ass," he replied, a predatory look in his eyes. Jack shivered and widened his legs, needing Ennis to complete him.

"Come on then...ain't got all night." His lips were captured and he kissed back eagerly, grabbing the lube from the bedside table and handing it to Ennis with fumbling fingers. Ennis took it from him and settled between his legs, needing to be inside Jack soon. He slicked himself up and started to work his way in, pushing inside and hearing Jack gasp. "Oh, God..."

Jack wound his legs around Ennis's back and locked his ankles together, ready to give himself over. When Ennis was fully inside him and ready to move, he leaned down and kissed Jack deeply, hands stroking his chest. He started to slowly move into Jack, pushing deep and keeping it slow; he knew it drove Jack crazy with lust when he did that.

"I love you," Jack breathed, pulling him closer to his neck and letting Ennis bury his face there. He loved it when Ennis did that as they made love; he didn't care if Ennis gave him a hickey right now, not even if his father saw it. To him, it was a symbol of their love for each other.

"Love you too," Ennis gasped out, moving faster and thrusting his hips so hard he was fearful of damaging Jack. But he knew that Jack would tell him to stop if it became too painful. That was very important to them both; to stop when it was more pain than pleasure.

They moved quickly together and grabbed at each other, trying to keep quiet even as their orgasms ripped through them both, making Ennis explode into Jack as he felt a warm stickiness on his stomach. He collapsed onto Jack and started breathing deeply, hoping that he hadn't hurt his lover. "You okay, bud?" he asked, rubbing Jack's neck. Jack nodded.

"I'm just fine, cowboy. Think you really did fuck my brains out..."

"Thought I did that back in '63," Ennis commented, grinning a little. Jack laughed.

"Guess so. Mmm...sure was good..."

"Yep..." Ennis pulled out and then fell back onto his side of the bed, stretching. "Sure hope nobody heard us..."

"Reckon they didn't," Jack said, rolling into him and curling up, contented like a cat. Ennis put his arms around him and smiled. Jack had told him recently that he'd always felt safe with him, like he knew that nothing could hurt him as long as they were together. Ennis could honestly say that he felt the same way, and he liked that they were able to look after each other. He figured it was just one of the perks of being with another man; things were more equal and Jack was strong, able to take whatever he dished out. Especially during sex; Jack was able to take a pounding like that and not get too hurt. There was no way that Alma could have taken that. He truly was better off with Jack after all.

Jack could tell that Ennis was thinking about something, and he had to wonder what. He knew now that Ennis was having no doubts whatsoever about their relationship; that he was happy and looking forward to their future together. But he sometimes wondered what was going through Ennis's mind.

"Bud, you okay?" he asked, looking up at him. Ennis's eyes were closed, but he was clearly still awake. He made a soft contented sound and nodded.

"I'm alright. Just thinkin'...'bout how damn lucky I am." Jack smiled.

"That so, huh?"

"Yeah...better off with you. God knows I tried to make it work with Alma, but...wasn't nothin' for it. Always wanted to be with you."

"You've got me now," Jack said softly, nuzzling his neck. "We've both got what we always wanted...a family, someone we love, an' soon we're gonna have a home, too."

"Better start packin' as soon as we get back," Ennis commented as Jack kissed his chest. "Think the kids are gonna like it?"

"Yeah, reckon so. They'll be fine." The two of them fell silent, Ennis rubbing Jack's back and lulling him into sleep. Ennis smiled to see how peaceful he was. "Night, darlin'."

"Night, baby," Jack said drowsily, not even noticing when the endearment slipped out for the first time. But Ennis did, and it warmed his heart to hear Jack calling him that. It felt so intimate and precious, and Ennis vowed that he would do whatever it took to protect this man and what they had together. He just couldn't lose Jack; he was the other half of his soul. Ennis knew he would do anything for Jack, even if it meant taking a tire iron for him.

The next day, things started off well enough. They had a pleasant breakfast with Jack's mother, since his father had left the house earlier. Jack was relieved; the more he put off the inevitable confrontation with his father, the better.

Their children were completely charmed by Rose, and opted to stay with her through the day while their fathers did some work on the ranch. Jack had offered the day before, and his father had agreed, but only if there was no "queer stuff", as he put it. Ennis found himself wondering why Jack hadn't punched him by now.

Still, he tried not to think about it as they settled into ranch life. He watched the kids with Rose and got the feeling that they had given her not only a grandson, but two granddaughters too. He and Jack were a committed couple now, so he figured that it made her his mother-in-law somehow.

"Think things are goin' alright," Jack commented as they mucked out the stalls. John was nowhere to be seen and that was just fine with him. "I'm glad the kids are happy with my mama."

"Yeah, she's somethin' else. But I bet she's wantin' to talk to me. About how...I let you down all these years. You said you got all upset when you came home after Brokeback, an' how you talked to her about me after our trips. Bet she ain't happy about how I hurt you."

Jack sighed. "No, she ain't. But she knows why it took us so long to get together, an' she understands. Besides, I pointed out how happy I am now, an' she's happy for me." He smiled. "An' I am happy, you know."

Ennis smiled back. "I'm happy too, darlin'. You know...doin' this work here...makes me think of our own place. What it's gonna be like. Can't wait to go an' sign those papers."

"Me neither...we're gonna have a home together, Ennis. An'...I just want you to know...it ain't gonna be home just 'cos it belongs to us. It'll be home 'cos...it's where I wanna be. With you an' the kids."

He stepped into Ennis's stall and leaned against the doorframe. "I'm really grateful you asked me to come an' live with you. I know it wasn't easy, to do that, an' I just...wanted to say thank you."

Ennis came closer to him and put a hand on his shoulder. "I'm the one should be thankin' you. I let you down so many times...kept sayin' no...an' you didn't have to come up. You coulda told me it was too late; that you'd had enough an' it was my own fault." Jack shook his head.

"I ain't never thought that. Even the last time I asked an' you said no...I knew that no matter what, I'd never give up. This is all I ever wanted, more than anythin'. An' I knew that if we'd gone on livin' with our wives...that if there ever came a time when you said yes, I'd just drop everythin'. An' I wouldn't care how many times you've said no."

They moved to sit on the bench together, hands finding one another and clasping tightly. Jack smiled a little. "Love you, Ennis. Always have an' always will." The look on his face, the one of sheer love, was enough to melt even the coldest heart. Ennis had never been a cold person, just shy and a little afraid of the world, but he was a lot warmer than he used to be. Now when Jack talked to him, he talked back. And he showed plenty of affection, even if it was only when they were alone. He loved Jack with all his heart, and hoped that Jack knew that.

"Love you too, darlin'. Um...remember when we was goin' to sleep last night? You called me, um..."

Jack thought for a moment, and then remembered. He went slightly red in the face. "Oh...yeah...I called you baby..." He bit his lip. "Sorry if you didn't like it, or thought it was weird..."

Ennis shook his head. "Never thought it was weird, Jack. I...I liked it. Like when I call you darlin'. You like that, right?" Jack nodded. "Well...same thing. I reckon...couples should do that. Have them names for each other that nobody else calls them." Jack leaned in and kissed him, sealing their lips together and finding his tongue. They kissed for several long, heavenly moments, and pulled apart. "Damn, rodeo."

Jack grinned. "Thought I should remind you how much I love you."

"You tell me every day," Ennis replied, now also grinning. It was true; they said the words every day and were always showing each other how they felt, even outside the bedroom. It was just one of the things that made them happy every day, knowing that they were loved and appreciated for who they were.

"You complainin'?"

"No way, darlin'." Just as they were leaning in for another kiss, a voice came from the doorway.

"Goddamn." They pulled away and looked at their intruder; John Twist was standing there, looking disgusted. "Ain't you got no decency?"

Jack's nostrils flared, but he tried to keep his temper in check. "Somethin' we can help you with, Dad?"

Ignoring his son, John turned to Ennis. "Del Mar, yer girls are askin' after you, up at the house. One of 'em hurt their hand." Ennis got up and looked back down at Jack, who nodded. It was time; this confrontation had been coming, and he couldn't hide from it anymore. He was proud of the man he'd become, and there was no way that he would let his father bully him anymore. He couldn't rely on Ennis to fight all of his battles.

"Go on, I'll be fine." Ennis nodded and wished he could split himself into two; one to stay here with Jack and one to take care of his girls. It wasn't the first time. He left and Jack got up, resuming his work in the stall.

As Jack started working again, John initially kept quiet. He'd seen Del Mar about to kiss his son, and he felt sickened by the very thought. Anybody could have walked in and seen them, like one of the kids. Did they really behave that way in front of their children?

Jack didn't say anything as his father went into the next stall, also mucking out. He tried to keep calm and focused on the fact that he was an adult now, not a scared little kid who let his father abuse him.

When he left the stall, he jumped at the sight of his father right in front of him, looking determined. "What?"

"Wanna talk to you," John replied, looking repulsed by the thought of even standing near Jack. He knew full well what he and the other man did in private; he'd heard them last night.

Jack folded his arms. "Well? Go ahead."

"Ain't you got no shame?" John hissed, gesturing to the bench. "One of the kids coulda seen you. What, you do that when they're lookin'?"

"Not like that, no. We don't kiss like that in front of 'em. But before Ennis quit work, when he came in he'd kiss me on the cheek, an' they probably saw that one or twice."

"He quit work?" John repeated, looking offended by the very thought. Jack wondered if he thought it was because of who Ennis was.

"Yeah. Told you last night, we're movin' soon. Packin' when we get back. Goin' down to Colorado."

"Why there?" he asked, ignoring the fact that Jack had told them this last night at dinner. He'd tried to ignore all of that.

"It's just where we picked. We wanna have a fresh start, all of us. An' Bobby's got grandparents in Texas; don't want him to be too far from 'em."

"Yer wife's parents?" John asked, eyes narrowing. Jack knew this had to be coming.

"Yeah, Lureen's folks. I never got on with her daddy, but I know he loves Bobby."

"They know yer queer?"

Jack sighed. "No. They just know I left, think I'm livin' with my cousin. We've got a cover story for when we move."

"An' you think people are gonna believe it? You can't keep yer hands off each other here."

"Until you came in here, we were alone," Jack snapped at him, patience wearing thin. "We woulda preferred it that way."

"This is my property," John hissed, glaring at him. "An' you an' yer queer boyfriend are just doin' whatever you want. Yer mama might be alright with it, but then you always were a mama's boy. Probably why yer queer in the first place."

Jack gave a very Ennis-like growl of frustration and turned away. He didn't want to hear this. "I got nothin' to say to you, Dad. I wasn't sure 'bout comin' up here, but I wanted my mama to meet Ennis an' the kids. An' she cares 'bout us. You ain't never cared," he added in a low voice.

"I did the best I could with you," John told him. "Tried to make you a man. Got you on the woollies an' hoped you'd get into rodeo. Be a man I could be proud of." Jack was resolutely facing the other direction, arms folded tightly. "But that didn't work. You wasn't never good at rodoein'."

Jack whirled around. "You never taught me a thing about ridin' bulls! I had to figure that one out on my own. You never even came to see me ride."

"Didn't wanna see what a failure my son was," John said coldly. Jack stepped back.

"You...I ain't a failure!" he said defensively. "I got a good man an' a family. The kids love me an' you know what? Ennis is twice the man you could ever be."

"He's nothin' but a goddamn queer, same as you!" John shouted. "You wasn't good for nothin' an' never will be!"

"Just shut up!" Jack yelled. "I ain't lettin' you put me down no more. You did that all my life until I could finally leave. I'm in my thirties an' I ain't a little kid. You can't hurt me no more."

"I just hope that nothin' happens to that boy of yours, livin' with yer queer boyfriend," John said icily. Jack looked shocked at such a suggestion; how could he say that?

"Ennis would never do somethin' like that," he protested. "He's a good man."

"A good man who's fuckin' my only son!" John growled at him. "Yer a good for nothin' queer an' it's yer own damn fault I ain't got no more kids!"

Jack was speechless; his father hadn't spoken about that for years. "That ain't my fault." Ennis, who had kissed Jenny's cut finger and calmed her down, was now just outside the stables, worrying about Jack being alone with his father. He had heard every word they had yelled at each other, including where John had blamed Jack for the fact he was an only child. He was very close to going in there and punching John himself for the way he treated Jack.

"You messed yer mama up," John told him. "She couldn't have no more after you. They all died. It's a damn shame you wasn't one of 'em." He glared at his son maliciously.

Jack stormed out of the stables and bumped into Ennis, who immediately took his hand. "C'mon, 'round here..." He led Jack around to the back and cupped his face; Jack had angry tears in his eyes. Ennis sighed and realised now why Jack had been so hesitant about coming here. He pulled Jack close and rubbed the back of his neck to soothe him. Jack broke down in his arms, knowing that Ennis didn't judge him for this.

"I hate him," he choked out, shaking. "Hate the bastard..." There was no way back for him and his father now, not after this.

"Shh," Ennis shushed him, swaying them both a little. "It's alright, darlin'...it's alright."