I don't know how we are going to drive 5 hours without talking to each other but I know his silences are legendary. "I'm thinking. I like to do that sometimes before I talk." How can I forget those words and he had a lot to say earlier so I am sure he's thinking about this thing we have.

We pick up Sheila Bad Ass from the Rez without a hitch. We head down I 25 toward Cheyenne. It's quiet as a church mouse and all you can hear are the tires treading the highway. After a couple of hours Sheila pipes up and asks, "You two married?"

Walt looks in the rearview mirror and doesn't say a word.

"You must be married."

I pipe up, "No, we're not married we're just quiet Sheila. Take it as a polite hint."

Sheila laughs. I decide that I don't like her much. I look out the window into a vast sea of dirt. There isn't shit out here but fuckin' rocks. I really miss Philly and my family. I hate this dirt ridden oversized wild animal huntin' state but what compels me to stay is the man sitting next to me.

"Walt, you want me to drive for a while?"

"Nope."

This silence is a bitch. I look out the window at one dirt rock formation after another and start to doze.

I never fuckin' saw it coming. The Bullet swerved and my head hit the window. Sheila had slipped her cuffs and had her wrists locked around Walt's throat. He had one hand on the steering wheel trying to keep us on the road and the other he was trying to get between his throat and her forearm.

I jump in the backseat and start beatin' the shit out of Sheila. Trying to knock this bitch unconscious and release her grip on Walt. She is one tough old lady. She's not giving up. As she chokes Walt she tries to kick me and the Bullet is swerving back and forth on the road. Walt manages to say, "Vic. 7-8-9" My mind flashed and I braced myself as Walt slammed on the brakes and ducked down in the seat, as Sheila propelled forward. She landed in between the front seat and the dashboard. Her body was sprawled about with her feet in the air. She was out cold.

"I'm glad I remembered 7-8-9 braking from the academy, Walt. Since the rest of the free fuckin' world has ABS!" I straightened myself out as Walt pulled over to the side of the road.

He got out of the Bronco and walked around to the passenger door. He leaned in past Sheila and asked me "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine just pissed the fuck off."

Walt turned back toward Sheila. "She's out cold. Let's put her in back and you ride back there with her."

I climbed out to help him and when my feet hit the ground Walt turned toward me and gently touched the bump on my head. "I'm sorry, Vic. I'm sorry I didn't have you sit with her the whole way."

"You're sorry? I'm sorry I fell asleep. I didn't do my job..you know..watching your back and all."

We moved Sheila to the backseat and Walt stood facing me, we were just inches apart closest to the door jam. He looked a little flustered as he placed his hand on my forearm, "Vic, I want to apologize for being so quiet. For the first time in my life I don't know what to do and I feel so unsure of myself." He looked deeply into my eyes not averting any attention away from me. "I have always known what kind of man I am." He smiled that half smile which let me know he was nervous. "The fact that I want to love you ….and to be with you….when I know I can't sort of rocks me off my foundation and I don't know what to do with all of it."

I looked down, my chin nearly touching my chest, and I filled my lungs with cold Wyoming air. I looked up and put my hands on his forearms as we stood there, silent. I looked at Walt and was overcome with the desire to put my arms around his neck which I did. We held each other for a few minutes and I said softly, "Walt, thank you for loving me."

I moved my arms back down and held his hands in mine. Walt looked at me and said, "You are welcome, Vic. Another time. Another place. That's how the saying goes."

I stood up on my tip-toes and kissed his lips very gently. "The thing is; I love you, too and this is another time and another place at least for me." Walt smiles, that rare full smile that shows just how handsome he really is, and he leaned down to kiss me very softly.

"Walt, I don't want you to change who you are 'cause that would mean you would change what I love about you. I just need you to be my best friend like you are now. Nothing complicated. No temptations. Just knowing you love me is enough for me. I gotta figure out what I have left of my marriage and this will give me the strength to do what I need to do with Sean. I know it sounds weird."

"I understand, actually."

I smiled and said, "We better hit the road before Sheila wakes up." I turned and looked and she was still out. Walt decided he would prefer me up front so he shackled her legs and cuffed her to the hand pull above her head. There was no way she was going to choke anyone now.

We climbed back into the Bullet and Walt headed out back down I 25. He looked over at me and I smiled as he winked his right eye and took my left hand in his. We stayed that way all the way to Cheyenne and it felt good. I felt good about myself and about our situation. Loving your best friend is easy. I just hope leaving my husband will be the same.