"Sa-chan? Please don't tell me you're into kinky stuff now" Sei said anxiously as she waited for Sachiko to open the door of her apartment. Sachiko blindfolded Sei as they walked through the hall of her apartment floor. It was Christmas eve and Sachiko managed to convince her parents to spend the holidays out of the country, to somewhere sunny and bright, leaving Sachiko alone to spend it with Sei. Yumi had suggested that given Sei's attitude towards Christmas and birthday, it would be best to simply have a small get together. What was more important, according to Yumi would be that Sei's real birthday should be spend by just the two of them, thus, the dinner was set on Christmas eve.

The most difficult part was deciding on what to give Sei as a Christmas and birthday present. Sachiko, out of decency, did not express her regret to Yumi for not having waited till Christmas to give her physical self to Sei. That would've been a perfect gift, she thought. But then again, it wasn't really much regret since she really couldn't wait any longer and it was well worth it. She had trouble finding something that Sei would truly appreciate, and that she wanted it to be very personal. In the end, a flash of brilliance came over her, though it required two things she avoided, getting Hideyo's help and pulling some strings as an Ogasawara. But if that meant giving Sei the perfect present, then so be it, she decided.

Sachiko slowly removed Sei's blindfold and turned on the lights. "SURPRISE!!!" Everyone exclaimed to a stunned Sei. "MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!"

Sei looked around her apartment and saw holiday decorations and a big banner that wrote "Happy Birthday, Dirty Old Man" that made her shake her head and laugh. She gazed at Sachiko and grinned. "How in the world did you manage to sneak them all in here?"

Sachiko smiled and shrugged. "I don't know what you're talking about, Sei-san. I'm as surprised as you. I had a different idea with that blindfold, as you have suggested earlier"

Sei blushed and glanced at Yumi, Yoshino and Rei. "Err...Sa-chan"

Yoshino laughed loudly. "Sei-sama, you don't have to be prude on us. It doesn't suit you"

Sachiko giggled. "It's alright, Sei-san. We can trust everyone in this room, right?"

Everyone nodded in agreement. Sachiko had given Yumi the green light to tell Yoshino and Rei. Sachiko felt that, they had the right to know, especially Rei, who had looked out for her in high school. Sei was, however, especially surprised that Hideyo was there too. She smiled at Sachiko to show her appreciation, knowing how the latter felt for her mentor. Sachiko returned the smile and kissed her on the cheek. "Happy birthday, Sei-san. I love you", she whispered.

In the midst of all the laughing and teasing, Youko stepped out of Sei's balcony and took a sip from her wine. She smiled at the thought of leaving Sei this way, happy and with a sense of security coming from her friends. In the darkness, she failed to see Hideyo smoking in the corner until her movements made a sound. "Hideyo", she smiled though surprised at both her presence and the fact that she was smoking.

"I don't let Sei-chan see this", she grinned while holding up the cigarette stick. "Has she ever given you her Darth Vader look? It can be quite scary you know"

Youko laughed. "No, she hasn't"

"Ah well, she has no reason to glare at you that way. From the get go of our mentoring, she had not uttered a single negative word about you, except meddler, but only if you consider that an insult"

Youko grinned and shook her head. "That's Sei for you. Defining me in one word"

"Yes, that's her folly"

Youko scrutinized the woman in front of her, unsure of how to take her statement.

"What I said before was true. I've looked forward to meeting you", Hideyo remarked nonchalantly when her last statement was met with silence.

Youko all of a sudden felt disarmed and conscious of her surroundings. Her feet started shuffling and she found herself tucking her hair behind her ears. "Because you think I'm Sei's imaginary friend", she finally uttered.

"Imaginary perfect friend", Hideyo corrected. "You can remove the imaginary now though, since I am sure you are real", she teased.

Youko nervously snickered and took a sip from her glass of wine with the implication of Hideyo thinking she is perfect.

"You're leaving, I heard", she said.

"Yes, for a year"

"No wonder Sei-chan was grumbling about it. I have not seen her display so much petulance before"

"I had been wondering exactly what Sei tells you about me"

"I know that you're the one who saved her several times already. And I also know that you're the one whom she stupidly can't find herself falling in love with"

Youko shook her head. "Sei's not stupid, she's just--"

"Don't bother. You'll always be in that unfortunate position of defending Sei-chan to everyone", Hideyo interjected. "But...One man's cast-off is another man's potential treasure", Hideyo remarked as she gazed at Youko admiringly.

Youko blushed profusely, something that she is not used to doing. Hideyo stubbed her cigarette and walked past Youko. "Too bad for me, I'd have to wait for a year", Hideyo whispered in Youko's ear, leaving her utterly flushed as the older girl returned to the gathering.

"Youko? Are you alright? Too much wine?" Sei said as she popped her head outside the balcony. She had been observing curiously the two from the inside and almost had a heart attack when she saw her mentor lean dangerously close to Youko. "Your face is all red"

Youko cupped her face and felt it warm despite the cold weather. "Err, no, Sei. I'm alright"

Sei raised her eyebrows. "What did Hideyo-sama tell you?", she asked.

Youko found herself smiling. "Nothing...she...just wished me luck for my exchange program"

"Okay...Well, come in. It's getting colder" Sei said, deciding to drop the matter, despite her suspicions over Youko's behavior.

---

Sei grinned like a cat that just ate a canary at the gifts piled in front of her after everyone has left. It was almost midnight, and Sachiko was the only one left beside her, leaning over her shoulders. "Sa-chan...I can't thank you enough"

Sachiko shook her head and smiled. "There's no need to, Sei-san". She sat up and took one box and gave it to Sei. "Well, come on, open them up"

"Okay" Sei said obediently. She took the box from Sachiko's hand and read the card. "This one's from Shimako"

One by one, Sei opened her gifts until it was a few minutes before midnight. When everything was in order, Sachiko stood up and got her gift. She blushed and handed over what seemed to be a book wrapped in an elegant paper. Sei waited for Sachiko to sit down next to her before she began ripping the paper apart. Her mouth was left agape at the book she was holding. It was a professionally published and bound book of her journal, complete with book jacket, that she submits to Hideyo. "Sa-chan, this is..."

Sachiko smiled at Sei who still looked positively stunned at what she was holding. "One day, that book will be read by all...but right now, what you have there is the very first edition and copy of the Satou Sei collection of literary works. That's definitely not edited, so how you have written it, is precisely what appears in that book. It's a replica of your journals"

Sei smiled and shook her head in disbelief. "You actually asked Hideyo-sama for this?"

"I didn't know it was in the form of a journal...but it made my life easier and the publisher's...you said before, this is really what you want to do...to get your works published. I wanted to be the first to give you that dream"

Sei could not formulate a coherent thought in her head to express her gratitude and so she simply kissed Sachiko, hoping that would cover for her inability to speak. There was a certain worry though at the back of her mind, and that was if Sachiko has read her stories, poems and dabbles about Youko. Sachiko held on to Sei's head as she kissed back, not wanting it to stop. As they paused for air, Sachiko whispered as if she has read Sei's mind, "I...haven't read it myself...I controlled myself from opening it...I wasn't sure if you were ready to bare your raw feelings and thoughts written there"

Sei smiled and placed her arm around Sachiko and said, "You made me agree to not give each other presents this Christmas...you are such a cheater...now I don't have anything to give you"

"Yes you do..." She laid down on Sei's lap and held the book. "..You can choose which ones you're ready to share...just...read me something from here"

---

Sei woke up to the smell of coffee, and bacon being baked, not fried. She groaned as she shifted her body caused by the floor's stiffness. Sei and Sachiko fell asleep on her living room while she read her some of what she had written. "Sa-chan", she mumbled while rubbing her eyes, "You are heaven sent".

"Breakfast will be ready in a few minutes. Why don't you pour us some coffee, sleepy head" Sachiko smiled as she took out the bacon from Sei's oven, which she suspected had never been used before. They may not be able to live like this all the time, but for the time being, Sachiko was determined to play house with Sei. When Sei drew nearer, Sachiko kissed and wrapped her arms around her waist. "Happy birthday, again"

"Thanks, I love you", Sei replied. "Best birthday ever"

"Well, that's good to know". Sachiko placed the pieces of bacon on a plate and served it to a very hungry Sei. "Am I going to be a good wife, or what?"

"The greatest", Sei muttered in between chewing. "But try not make breakfast for Suguru to be as good as this. In fact, I hope you make them a little burnt every time for him. I hear that can cause cancer"

"I doubt if he'll even care" Sachiko said, taking a bite from her own plate. "Sei-san...what do you think about us...leaving the country?"

Sei's chewing slowed down dramatically and stared at her. Sachiko immediately followed her statement, "we could go to Europe...they seem to be more accepting of people like us, Onee-sama told me before"

Sei sighed and took a sip from her coffee before answering. "I don't know, Sa-chan..."

"You were very willing to run away with Shiori...", Sachiko replied sadly.

"Yes, and that would've been a huge mistake had it pushed through"

"We could get jobs there, I'm sure there's something we'll find"

"Leaving your family and cutting off all ties would be extremely difficult, Sa-chan...we're both not used to living on mere survival. What can I feed you as a drop out college student?"

"I just...want to spend my life with you. Is that too much to ask?"

Sei smiled and held Sachiko's hand. "No...it's not...but right now, things will be more difficult for us if we don't roll with the punches. We need time to--"

"But we don't have time, Sei-san...after I graduate, I will be married to Suguru-san. And I don't want to put you at the same level of a mistress"

"By the time you're about to get married... I've graduated already, and hopefully more ready to take you wherever you want to live before they can even fit you in a gown"

Sachiko's eyes brightened. "You...you're not opposed to the idea of us leaving?"

"Did I say I were? Tsk, Sa-chan, you need to listen more carefully", Sei teased.

"But you said running away with Shiori would've been a mistake"

"Yeah, considering we were both minors at the time... as I was saying...we need time...and we have it...we're both just not ready yet...don't rush...you think too much, my dear Sa-chan", Sei said, kissing Sachiko's head.

That's the second time she had been told of thinking too much, and that made her smile. Sachiko sighed in relief, and happily ate her breakfast. Sei did the same, though hers was mere pretend. Her conscience was berating her for the first potential false promise she had ever given Sachiko. She could not possibly provide Sachiko with the same lifestyle she is used to, and take her away from the confines of a good life her family gives her. Time is on her side, but that time she has is for Sachiko to mature and learn to accept their fate. They are meant to be kept in the dark and not to brought out in broad daylight. This was a simple fact of life, that Sei prepared herself to be in since the day she first kissed Sachiko. Nevertheless, perhaps, just perhaps, she can try, if that is really what Sachiko wants in order to be happy.

---

Sei was prepared to be kept in the dark, but not to be fully taken for granted. The weeks following Christmas was harrowing for her as Sachiko became more and more immersed in their company. But Sei, being Sei, she tried her best to keep her mouth shut and not complain, simply waiting for Sachiko's spare time. It didn't help that Youko has already left, and so the many times her best friend has called, Sei pretended for everything to be alright. The last thing Youko needed was to worry about her, and Youko does not deserve that at all. Shimako was her only source of comfort, but going to the Rose Mansion meant seeing Yumi, and surprisingly, she had developed an aversion to seeing Sachiko's petite seour for the reason that it made her miss Sachiko more.

It certainly did not help that Hideyo began complaining again about her work being more and more sinister. "Death, depression, and separation. Sei-chan, are you in some form of drugs?", that was her usual quip nowadays.

Sei simply looked down and stared at the pile of papers in front of her. "To write something happy would mean I am lying, Hideyo-sama. What is the point in that?"

"Hope. Optimism. That's the point, unless you don't have those in you anymore."

Sei looked away. God knows why this woman has that effect on her, she simply cannot hide her emotions. "Sei-chan? I don't normally go this far in probing, but is there something wrong between you and Sachiko-san? Or am I simply being too dense and pointing out the obvious?"

"It's now February, I have only seen her for a total of 10 days since January 1st" She said while counting through her fingers, then slumped her shoulders."...and it's only here in school. I can't believe I've allowed myself to be this attached to her...when I have always reminded myself of her situation. Why do I constantly let my guard down with her?"

Hideyo moved closer and placed a hand on Sei's shoulder. "Well, that's quite obvious too. You're in love with her, so of course you've forgotten about putting up your walls"

"Does it really have to be this difficult?"

"Not always"

"I just...want to keep my mind off her"

"Sei-chan! Don't say things like that as if you have lost her completely!" It was the first time Hideyo truly admonished her, causing Sei to turn pale and unable to speak. "Oh Sei-chan", Hideyo muttered while embracing her. "It's harder to be the strong one in a relationship...but you must not break, or else she will break too"

"Why is everyone so concerned of her feelings as if it's alright if I'm the one who gets hurt, just as long as it's not her?" Sei retorted with much spite, having been reminded of Youko's own reasoning in Hideyo's words.

Hideyo cupped Sei's face. "What makes you think I'm particularly concerned of her feelings? I'm concerned about you, Sei-chan. I know very much that if Sachiko-san gets hurt, you'll get hurt twice over. And that's why I don't want her to break. Am I wrong to assume that?"

Sei shook her head. "No...no you're not"

"Well then...don't complain anymore..either you put up with this, or you don't. What's it gonna be?"

Sei let out a small smile and in between sobs, she managed to answer, "I'm putting up with this..."

"Good. I know you would", Hideyo said with a proud smile. "I have only one request Sei-chan"

"What is it?"

"Find a way to grow and live on your own, and not be dependent on the light she gives...don't let her be another Shiori...don't make one person be your only source of happiness and sorrow. There's a whole world waiting out there for you, Sei-chan, so explore it and don't stop until you've ran out of friendly faces". She stood up and handed a letter from the Dean of the Literature department, leaving Sei to contemplate on what was written.

---

Sachiko sat down quietly while waiting for class to begin fighting off her exhaustion from studying and working at the same time. She wished for Sei to just swoop her away from where she is seated and take her somewhere else where it would be just the two of them. Her thoughts were interrupted when a bunch of her classmates entered the room with so much buzz.

"Where you able to enlist?"

"No! I ran out of slots! It's just for 15 students"

"Argh! Now I won't have the chance to be that close with her!"

Rena and Konomi, the first two girls Sachiko met in Lilian University, sat down next to her, laughing at the other girls' frustration. "What's happening?", Sachiko asked.

Rena looked at her like she was a stranger. "Are you living under a rock, Sachiko?"

Konomi giggled. "You didn't hear? Sei-sama is now offering an after class lecture series on American literature"

Sachiko sat up, seemingly shocked at this news. "Lecture? She's...teaching now? Is that even possible when she's just a sophomore?"

Rena laughed. "Sachiko, you need to spend more time in school to know how our university works. She's not really teaching...it's an extension program of the literature department. They allow certain qualified students to handle a so-called class for students from different courses who have an interest in literature. Call it their charity work to enlighten us with the finer things in life"

"And Sei-sama recently won another award, so that just made her highly qualified", Konomi added.

Sachiko looked more confused than ever. "Another...award?"

"Yeah...she won the Nekusuto Shō, right? Well, she just got cited in another literary award, whose name I forget right now. But anyway, point is, Sei-sama's class has been the talk of the town. Now, I suspect most students who fought tooth and nail to get in aren't really that interested in literature". Rena and Konomi laughed together.

"Are you enlisted?" Sachiko inquired with a sudden surge of envy to those students who would be near Sei.

Konomi shook her head. "I can't make heads or tails with Faulkner, that will be just a complete waste of my time"

"The students who enlist would be required to write and get feedback from Sei-sama. That's why they would kill just to be her "student". But it's technically open for everyone to drop by and listen to the discussions", Rena explained and wistfully added. "Me? I plan to sit-in every now and then, just to stare at her face"

They both laughed again and agreed to the idea, even going so far as suggesting to bring a camera and take photos of Sei.

Sachiko's mind was whirling in confusion. How come she didn't know of these things? Another award? An after school lecture series? Moreover, she was slowly feeling angry at Sei for accepting an after school activity that would hinder them from further seeing each other. It's bad enough that barely see each other, and now Sei would make it even less possible. How could she?

Sachiko was in a hurry during lunch but told her they needed to talk, and so Sei sat down and waited patiently under their usual spot in the University despite the still chilly weather. Sei grinned the moment she saw Sachiko's silhouette walk near her, only to be met by a cold expression. "Congratulations. I heard you won another award", she said flatly.

Sei opened and closed her mouth, unable to register why Sachiko was behaving that way. "Guess how I found out?", Sachiko continued.

Sei just simply stared at Sachiko, resisting the urge to match her temper, but her silence only fueled Sachiko's anger. "I had to know, through my classmates. Why? Because I also found out from them that your evening schedule will be extremely full from now on"

Sei attempted to keep her cool and shift the mood. She grinned then spoke. "Yeah...our Dean offered me...and I just couldn't refuse. See, they're going to--"

"You're really happy about this, aren't you? Being surrounded by your fans who are drooling over you, and god knows what else is going through their minds", Sachiko snapped. "I bet you'll really have a wonderful time"

Sei was taken aback by Sachiko's words and tried to reach for her. "Sa-chan..."

"Don't!" Sachiko exclaimed under gritted teeth. "Call me that. Stop being so patronizing"

Sei closed her eyes and breathed in, an exercise she had learned in order to control her emotions. But it was too painful, and so the only thing she could do was walk away, or else she might say something that she will soon regret. She paused for a moment when she heard Sachiko inject her final venom. "Don't expect me to run after you. I'm not Mizuno Youko". Sei shook her head and continued to walk away, leaving Sachiko alone, miserable and heartbroken.

---

A/N: Alright, I've had a good weekend so update after this chapter will definitely come up asap :D

R& R please.