Woo! Hey guys! How have you been? It always feels weird when I miss a week. Anyways, here is the latest update! I hope you guys like it! Thanks again for all the love you have shown this story!

As soon as I got back to my apartment, I called Penelope. "Hey, Lovely, what's up?" She sounded a bit drowsy, like I might have woken her up. Under any other circumstances I would feel bad. But not this time. I needed someone to talk to about what just happened between Spencer and myself.

"Oh, my god, Penny. Spencer and I had a moment."

"What do you mean you and Boy Wonder had a moment?" Any sign of sleep was gone from her voice. She was totally into the conversation we were having.

"I mean I almost fucking kissed him kind of moment."

I heard her gasp. "You did not!"

"I mean I didn't kiss him. He kissed me on the cheek as he left, but that's not the point. I was literally right in front of his face and I just wanted to kiss those beautiful lips so freaking badly. Ugh, why am I like this?" I fell back onto my bed completely mentally and physically exhausted. At this moment I was definitely leaning more towards mentally. I took a nap on the plane and that gave me a nice boost of physical energy.

"Do you still like him?" Her question was honest. More honest than I wanted to get at the moment.

"Yeah, I think I do. But I still love Ben. I really do. But Spencer…there's just something there, you know?"

"Is Ben still coming up on Friday?"

"Yeah." As planned, Ben is driving my car across the country so I can have it with me here in DC. He's staying a few days with me before flying back home. He's doing all of this for me, so I can work on my education and career and here I am, getting the hots for my coworker.

"I think you need to have a conversation with him."

"Yeah, I think so too. I just don't know how it's going to go and that scares me. Like really. I'm terrified, Penny. What do I do?"

"Dolly, as much as I want you and Boy Wonder to get together and make beautiful brilliant genius babies-"

"I'm sorry, what?" Penelope threw me for a loop. Kissing Spencer and fooling around with Spencer were definitely thoughts I had been having. Settling down for the long haul and having children with him were not.

"I know you love Ben and Ben loves you." She completely ignored my outburst. "I'll support you no matter which man you choose."

"Thanks, Penny," I sighed. I appreciated her love and support but I really wanted her to make some decisions for me. "I guess I'll talk to you at work tomorrow?"

"I'll see you then, My Sweet." The phone clicked signaling that she hung up.

I put my phone on charge and sighed. All I wanted to do was help Spencer with his migraine. That's all. But touching him like that… His hair was so soft, just like when we first kissed. It was like I was in that moment again. I didn't realize I was inching closer and closer to him until I could feel his breath on my face. I was partially relieved that Spencer was feeling the same way I was. I mean I knew he still kind of liked me. He asked me out after all. But that moment at the BAU was different. It was very intimate and personal. And definitely something I needed to talk to Ben about.

xoxo

I took a deep breath as I walked into work the following day. We were mostly just doing some paper work about the case that we just wrapped up. I was worried about seeing Spencer. I didn't know how to act around him. Just thinking about him was causing my heart to flutter. I blamed my new birth control for fucking with my emotions and hormones like this. I hated it. Right when I need to hold myself together the most my birth control fucks it all up. Oh well.

"Little Miss Lila! Welcome in." Derek was the first to greet me that morning. He had a stack of papers in his hands. I assumed they had something to do with our past case.

"Hey, Derek. Working hard or hardly working?" My nerves were calming down with my friendly interaction with him.

"Little bit of both. How else would you stay sane?" He smiled and I easily returned it.

"So, so true. Hey are you doing anything tomorrow night?"

"No, I was just gonna have a chill night at home. Why? What's up?"

"I'm gonna have a bit of a house warming party. Nothing major. Just you guys, Ben, and JJ and Will." JJ hadn't seen my new place yet and I felt bad about that. I know she's been busy with her new job. I've been busy working here too. I figured this would be a perfect way. And I really do want my friends to meet Ben in person.

"You want me back in your apartment after I spent all of last Saturday moving your shit into it? And are you telling me you've managed to unpack everything while spending like four days in a different state?"

"Well, there's still some boxes but all the essentials are where they should be. And I promise you won't have to lift a finger."

"I'm gonna hold you to that." He left and went on his way to his desk.

I went to my office to get started on my work for the day, half avoiding Spencer, half not. I was just trying to get my work done which happened to involve me keeping to myself. As Rossi, Penelope, and Hotch passed my office, I peeked out and told them about my house warming party. They all seemed interested and wanted to go. I wasn't sure if I was going to invite Spencer. Part of me wanted him there but part of me was worried about what kind of situation that would create. Especially with Ben being present.

About half way through my work, I left the safety of my office and went to get some coffee. Emily and Spencer were already there, talking. I wanted to turn around and go back but that wouldn't solve anything. Plus I had already told Spencer off for avoiding me before. I couldn't then start to avoid him. I didn't want to be a hypocrite.

"Hey, Emily. Hey, Spencer." I greeted both of them as I walked up. I looked away from Spencer as quickly as I could.

"Hey, Lila. You just missed Morgan. He was saying something about a party at your place tomorrow night?" Damn that Derek Morgan. I wanted Emily there for sure but now that Spencer knows I have to invite him.

"Yeah, I was actually looking for you guys to tell you." It wasn't a completely lie. I needed to find Emily and tell her. "Tomorrow night at like maybe five-ish? Come on over. There will be food. There will be friends. And Will and JJ are coming. Ben is also gonna be there."

"I'll be there," Emily reassured me.

"Spencer?" I asked softly, taking my time to look up into his eyes.

"I'll try to stop by," he said just as softly as I did. I nodded to him then he walked away.

"Okay, that was weird," said Emily, looking from Spencer's retreating figure to my face. I tried to keep my expression as calm and neutral as I could.

"Really? You think so?" I attempted to lie but I knew she could see right through me.

"I don't even need to be a profiler to know that you don't even believe what you just said." She was eyeing me closely.

"Ugh, fine. I'll tell you." I gave her a brief rundown on what had happened between Spencer and myself last night as well as my conversation with Penelope. "That brings us to this interaction," I said as I wrapped it up.

"Wow. That explains it."

"Yeah, got any good advice?" I was desperate for someone to tell me anything. Any guidance.

"I wish I did. I'm not the best when it comes to relationships. But I agree that this is something you should talk to Ben about."

"Thanks, Emily. That was helpful." I sighed and went back to my office to finish up my work. I was annoyed. Ben was coming in tonight and I wasn't sure what I was going to say to him.

My mind was still swimming as I went home. Ben had texted me and said he'd be at my place within the hour. My mind was racing. I haven't seen him in weeks and now I'll have him to myself for 4 days on end (as long as we don't get a case). I was nervous and excited to see him. To kiss him. But knowing I have to talk to him about Spencer was driving me crazy. I just want to have a normal, relaxing evening with my boyfriend.

I got home and did some last minute cleaning. I know it wasn't going to be perfect. I've been away more of the week and still have so many boxes left to unpack. But what can a girl do? My friends know my situation and won't judge me. Neither will Ben.

Just over an hour later, I got a call from my boyfriend saying he was in the parking garage. I was ecstatic! I ran from my building, wearing only socks, and went straight to the garage. There he was, leaning up against my car with his backpack on. Tears formed in my eyes as I ran to him and threw my arms around his neck, kissing him like there was no tomorrow. "Ben," I said softly as he held onto me. "Fuck, Ben, I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you too, Li." His strong arms held me perfectly in place against him. My favorite place to be.

After a few more minutes of hugs and kisses we made our way back to my apartment. Not a lot of talking was done that night. It was mostly sex. Passionate sex. All thoughts of Spencer had left my head. That night it was just Ben and myself. Nothing else in the world mattered. I got to fall asleep in the arms of my man and my dreams were peaceful.

The following day I spent as much time in bed with Ben as I could. I did have to get the place looking decent for the party but thankfully I got most of that done the night before. That left Ben and I time to do whatever we pleased. I avoided as much talk about work as I could. I didn't want to get into that with him now and spoil the mood for later on. I was torn between whether or not I wanted Spencer to come. I wanted to see him but didn't want things to become awkward.

Penelope was the first one to arrive which didn't surprise me at all. She said she was going to come early and help set up but I think she really just wanted to meet Ben first.

"Ben is so cute," she whispered to me while I tidied up my living room a bit more. Ben was in the kitchen, setting up all the food and drinks I had purchased. "He's like a white Derek Morgan."

I couldn't help but laugh out loud. "Ben's muscular, yes, but I don't think he's Derek Morgan ripped. And definitely not Derek Morgan outgoing. Ben's more quiet and reserved. Unless with friends or drunk. Or both."

"Still," Penelope said, "he's a beautiful hunk of man meet and I definitely approve as long as he makes you happy and treats you right. Though I have always and will always support you and Boy Wonder, I respect whatever choice you make in life."

"Thanks, Penelope. I think."

"How long is he out here for?" she asked.

"Only a few days. He has to go back to Seattle and work. But in about eighteen months he'll have completed his training and probation and he can put in a transfer request to come out and work here."

"That's not terrible. I think you guys can make it through that." She was very confident.

"Thanks, Penelope. Really this time," I said with a smile.

Within the hour, people started to show up. JJ and Will were the first to arrive. Will talked with Ben while I gave JJ the grand tour of my apartment. Penelope came along too and pointed out all the decorations she had done and how she wanted to do more. JJ agreed with some of her suggestions. I smiled. Their enthusiasm meant so much to me. I know I'm their friend (or in JJ's case family as well) but it was moments like this where I really felt it.

Derek, Rossi, and Hotch showed up later on. It was nice having them all there. They all seemed to really like Ben and got along with him really well. Since Ben is also in law enforcement, they were all able to talk about their jobs and related to one another. Derek seemed to really like Ben even though he seemed to be the most against him earlier on.

I wasn't expecting Spencer to come but he did. He came a couple hours after JJ and Will but I didn't mind. Part of me was happy to see him and part of me was very nervous. I introduced him to Ben as I had done with everyone else. I tried to act normal and keep my composure but I was sure that I was acting more on edge and nervous. Spencer didn't shake Ben's hand, as I expected, and simply waved politely at him. Ben was a little put off but didn't say anything.

I showed Spencer to the kitchen were all the food was located. "Thanks for coming. I didn't think you would." I spoke softly as I leaned against my counter.

"No problem. I thought it would be rude if I didn't." He took a plate and put a slice of pizza on it. "Is everyone else here?"

"Everyone except Emily. She texted me and said her cat wasn't feeling well so she wanted to stay home and take care of him."

"That sucks," he said, his words fading into an awkward silence that I didn't know how to break. I kept my eyes trained on him, watching his movements. He slowly met my gaze and we stood like that. Just staring at each other. I could feel the tension.

"Do you want me to get more pizza?" I didn't hear Ben walk in until he was next to me. It felt like my heart flew out of my chest. Spencer did give a small jump.

"Uh, I think this is okay. Thank you, Babe." I quickly composed myself, looking away from Spencer as quickly as I could. Spencer mumbled that there was enough food for him and quickly left the kitchen, going to seek solace with his friends.

For the rest of the party, I tried to avoid Spencer. That wasn't the hardest as he was the first to leave. He stayed an hour at most, then made up some generic excuse to leave. I instantly felt relieved.

One by one everyone left my apartment. I was so happy that they were all able to come and have a good time. I was so caught up in that that my awkwardness with Spencer had almost left my mind completely. Until I was cleaning up in the kitchen and Ben came in.

"So, this Spencer guy." Ben proceeded to lean against my counter "He seems interesting."

"I mean you're not wrong." I started to do the dishes so I wouldn't have to face him. "Everyone on the team is."

"But there was something different about him. The way you two would look at each other. Like there was something there." His voice was flat and that worried me.

"He is the one I kissed when I was back here a couple years ago." It wasn't a lie. Spencer and I did share a kiss (or several) at Rossi's. Ben knew this. When I had come back from that trip, Ben was still trying to get with me. Of course I had to tease that I had made out with a really hot guy while I was away.

"That was two years ago. That's not the look you give someone you once kissed two years ago and haven't talked to since." I could tell he was looking at me but I didn't want to look at him. My heart was racing. "What's going on?"

"Ben," I said softly, placing the dirty dishes down. "I love you."

"I love you." His response was immediate.

"There has been some… tension between me and Spencer." My voice was breaking as I spoke. I was still struggling to make eye contact with him.

He sighed. "Okay, there's been tension. What does that mean? What does that mean for us?"

"I love you, Ben. You. Not Spencer." I turned fully towards him. My hands were shaking as I looked up into his eyes. The hurt and pain in there hit me hard. I felt so incredibly guilty that this all happened. I hated what I was doing to him. "There was something between me and Spencer, I can't deny that. But you're so much more important than him. You're my world. You're the one that I want."

I could tell he was still hurt. I would be too if I was in his position. "I trust you, Lila. You're a big girl and if something was going on I trust that you would tell me the truth. It doesn't make me happy that you and him… I don't even wanna know what."

"Nothing! The most that happened was he kissed my cheek once after a case. I swear to you, Ben, I would never ever hurt you like that." I reached for his hands and I was thankful he didn't pull away. "I'm yours."

"It does make me uncomfortable that you work with him. Especially when you go off on cases. I kinda wanna beat his scrawny ass."

"I know. I understand that. But I promise you, Ben," I started to cry as I spoke. "Nothing will take me away from you. Not Spencer. Not anyone. I love you."

He pulled me close to him. I could hear his heart beat as I pressed my head against his chest. "I love you too, Lila. More than anything. This distance is just a killer."

"It is. I miss you."

"Eighteen months then I can put in my transfer."

"That's so far away."

"It is, but it'll be worth it."

Another chapter done! How do you guys feel about it? Was anyone at Wizard World Chicago last weekend? I was! Also, I know I started this earlier but I want to reiterate it. I'm fucking with the timeline. I was trying to keep things as chronologically close to the show as possible but screw that. Seasons 7 through like 9 are gonna be kinda jumbled. I want to work in Emily leaving and Maeve and then have my way with season 9. So just kinda go with the flow. It'll all make sense in the end. Until next time!