Monday morning…

Elizabeth's phone vibrated and her eyes flashed open. Suzanne was the only one who routinely texted her before dawn and that was only because she knew Elizabeth would be awake. Until the past few days, she rarely slept for more than a couple hours at a time. Her aversion to pills had gone on for too long and she was starting to understand the impact of insomnia had worn on her more than she'd realized. She'd felt wonderful yesterday, not only because John was near, but also because it had been the first time she'd had that much sleep in a stretch since before she'd left Atlantis.

The phone buzzed again. She stretched out her fingers and was just able to tug it into reach. Pity she couldn't reach the lamp. The light it cast wasn't as harsh as the overhead, but it had still made sleeping difficult, for her anyway. John was sleeping as if he hadn't slept in weeks. Elizabeth glanced at the screen. Ugh. 5:36 a.m.

I saw your light, you two awake? Decent? ;)

She supposed it wasn't exactly a stretch for Suzanne to realize John was with her. The phone immediately vibrated again.

You two decent? I have keys.

Elizabeth frowned sleepily. There was just a thing as a kitchen counter or the hooks by the door, both were excellent resting places for keys. Then she remembered the blasted light that she couldn't manage to reach. Suzanne could turn it off when she dropped off the keys.

She looked down. They'd resettled during the night, now they were both on their sides with their legs tangled together. His head was still pillowed against her stomach and his arm was stretched around her back, locking her tight against him. She readjusted the sheet over her lower body. The throw had fallen away from John's back, but he still had on his jeans. Regrettably, they were both decent, though the night had been laced with a poignant intimacy that had been powerful in its own right.

Elizabeth messaged back. Decent. He's asleep. TRY to be quiet.

She stifled a laugh as she typed. Suzanne and quiet weren't words that usually belonged in the same sentence. The door creaked softly and slowly swung open. Suzanne tiptoed across the room, frowning as she crept closer.

"This isn't decent." Suzanne motioned to John. She was trying to be quiet, but her voice came out as an overdramatic whisper that carried. "It's indecent to waste this. Why is he wearing pants?"

Elizabeth held a finger to her lip and narrowed her eyes in warning.

"I get the self-preservation thing and all, but if you're going to let him sleep with you, let him sleep with you. It's going to hurt when he leaves no matter what at this point. You may as well get all the enjoyment you can."

Elizabeth shushed her. "He needs to sleep. He stayed up all night the day before."

"He fell asleep, didn't he?" An incredulous look spread across Suzanne's face. "Well, wake him up now. You still have a few hours before he goes."

"He's not leaving until tomorrow. He worked it out so we have another day."

Suzanne looked thoughtful. "All right. I'll put the keys down by the coffee maker. Take the hint and make him drink some damn coffee."

Her shoulders shook with silent laughter. "Behave, Suzanne."

"I will, if you promise not to." Suzanne winked and took a step back. "I'd hug you goodbye, but you have a shirtless, handsome man latched to your body. It might be awkward."

"As much as I'm enjoying your conversation, I'm trying to sleep here." John groaned and pulled Elizabeth's hand over his ear as if to block the noise.

Her cheeks flamed. Of course he'd heard their whole conversation. Sleep notwithstanding, the idea of darkness became even more appealing. "Suzanne, the lamp. Turn it off before you go."

Suzanne stepped over one of the pillows Elizabeth had tossed in the floor last night. As almost an afterthought, she reached back and picked it up before swatting John with it. "Coffee, tough guy. Seriously."

Elizabeth gasped. "Suze."

John would think she'd been oversharing with her friend. Their present attire had made it too easy for Suzanne to guess John had fallen asleep, but her dropping the name tough guy was pure coincidence, she'd never told Suzanne about that. Tough guy had become an accidental pet name one night after John had limped back to Atlantis after having his ass handed to him on a mission. It had been one of the rare times the circumstances surrounding the ass kicking had been somewhat comical, even more so when his bruises subsided in the following days.

Suzanne paused in the doorway and held up her hand making the call me signal. She threw a kiss and closed the door behind her. Elizabeth's eyes pressed shut and she relaxed into the blissful darkness of the room. Maybe now she could get some real sleep.

"Coffee." John's voice rumbled across her stomach. "You're going to pay for that conversation."

His sleepy voice made his words seem more comical than threatening.

"Looking forward to it, tough guy."

His hand trailed down her back and delved beneath the waistband of her panties. His hand cupped her backside, pulling her lower body flush with his leg that had edged higher between her thighs. Elizabeth's eyes rolled back in her head. Though she bit down on her lips, a soft whimper escaped.

It fell on deaf ears. John hadn't loosened his hold, but she could tell by his breathing he was either asleep or just a few breaths away.

"John?" Elizabeth wiggled trying to loosen his hold, but he'd locked on tight and he didn't budge. "This isn't funny."

This wasn't the type of payback she'd been hoping for. The room might be dark now, but sleep still wasn't going to come easy.

Hours later:

Something cool and wet rubbed against her lip, jarring her from sleep. Elizabeth brushed a hand across her face, but nothing was there. Just a dream. Her body relaxed and she prepared to let sleep overcome her again. She licked her lips and her eyes flashed open. She tasted apple. Her head rolled to the side. John was perched on the side of the bed, holding a knife and slicing off pieces of apple.

His hair was damp from a recent shower and the thick strands jutted wildly about. His jeans were more battered than those he'd worn yesterday. Sadly, he'd already pulled on a t-shirt and fleece jacket. The lopsided smile on his face that made her want to sink her teeth into him instead of the piece of apple he held up to her mouth. She chomped off a bite and reached for the rest of the slice.

"Didn't want you to go hungry." His eyes twinkled. "You still need those cooking lessons."

He certainly seemed well rested. Elizabeth feared she'd be the one in need of the IV of coffee to keep up with him today.

"You're never going to let that go, are you? I'm not exactly starving, I get by just fine." Elizabeth still reached for another slice of apple.

John set the apple just out of reach on the table. "I also brought grapes."

He held one out and her lips closed around his fingers as she drew the fruit into her mouth. His eyes pressed shut and a low growl rumbled in his throat. She quickly chewed and swallowed down the bite.

"Something wrong?" Elizabeth tried not to smile.

John's eyes opened and his head tilted sideways. "I was going to make you breakfast in bed, but since we need to get on the road, I thought fruit would be safer than going the romantic route."

"This is romantic." Elizabeth licked her fingers.

John's hand washed over his face. "That's not exactly how I would describe it, but if you think it's romantic, I'll bring the whole damn fruit bowl up before we go to bed tonight."

A rush a heat flowed through her body and the air seemed to thin as he stared at her. He finally peeled his eyes away and shook his head. "I'm going downstairs. If I stay up here, we'll never leave and you just gave me a hell of an incentive to work fast today."

She blew out a deep breath as John disappeared through the door. She was sorely tempted to go after him. Her body still hadn't forgotten the evil hold he had on her while he slept. She pushed her hair back behind her ears. That was another reason to go after him. Her hair needed washed and the memory of his fingers massaging shampoo against her scalp was enough to send sparks racing down her spine. She reached for the rest of the apple and climbed out of bed.

Today was going to require more than coffee. She needed fuel and, quite possibly, an oxygen tank. John hadn't so much as touched her and she was still not breathing normally. Again, she considered going after him. His leaving had been logical. The problem was, her emotions were not and every minute that passed they were hurdling towards that inevitable moment when they didn't fall asleep, walk away or tear their lips apart.

"I don't hear the shower." John's voice was closer than she'd expected.

She stepped into the hall and spotted him sitting at the top of the stairs. She arched her brow and he shrugged.

"This is as far as I got." John's eyes raked over her body and Elizabeth remembered how short the hem was on the t-shirt. "Start the shower. We need to keep moving or…"

Heat flooded her body as John watched her. His hand rubbed his chin as if simultaneously trying to shut his gaping mouth as well as tear his gaze away.

"I'm going." She slipped back inside the bedroom and closed the door, before leaning back against it.

Her finger traced the curve of her mouth, as the maelstrom of need swirled through her body. The day would probably be more productive without the heavy veil of anticipation. Alternately, productivity would require them leaving the house and that wouldn't happen if one of them caved. Productivity, she mused. That had always risen to the top of priorities on Atlantis, but they weren't on Atlantis. Her hand reached back and turned the doorknob.

"Stop it. And lock the door behind you."

Maybe she should have been embarrassed that she'd been so easily busted on the verge of caving in, but his words revealed he struggled as well and a smile stretched wide across her face.

"Stop smiling and get in the shower already." Elizabeth laughed now. She used her heel to push away from the door and she made her way into the bathroom and started the shower. Normally, she enjoyed the warmth of the shower, but she wasn't sure she could take any more steamy heat that morning. She turned the nozzle on and directed the temperature to cold.

Later that morning…

Elizabeth exited the car rental agency and scanned the parking lot for John. His Jeep had been right behind her car all the way to D.C., but he'd turned off a few blocks back. She started to step back inside when she spotted him pulling in.

He parked and jumped out of the car. "Sorry, that took longer than I thought."

John's hand went to her lower back and he steered her around the towards the passenger door. Her nerves immediately started humming again just from his sheer proximity and she forgot to even ask where he'd gone. All thought washed away and her senses were overran from his touch, the scent of his cologne, and the heat radiating off his body. Her head rolled to the side and she tried to draw in some fresh air to clear him mind. He was barely touching her and she was falling apart. Damn anticipation. Her mind had been running wild during the hour long drive and the tension was consuming her body and mind. They'd never make it through the day if she didn't get a grip.

He reached for the door, but instead his hands grasped her hips and he drew her closer. "I liked the dress, but I really like the blue jeans, too."

It was no wonder. The dress had been loose and billowy while these jeans were fitted, somehow making her look like she had more curves than she actually did. If he kept looking at her like this, she was going to go back to the store and buy a dozen more pair. His hands slipped into her back pockets and he loomed over her. Her eyes pressed shut, but he bypassed her mouth and his lips landed beside her ear.

"We'd better get you in the car."

His gravelly voice paired with his breath falling hot against her ear made her knees weaken in response. She decided sitting was actually a great idea. He gently guided her into the car and the aroma of coffee filled the air. She buckled her seatbelt and deeply inhaled the rich scent.

"I stopped for coffee." He pointed at the cups. "Drink up. I can't have you falling asleep on me tonight."

"Me?" Her protest was lost as he shut the door. She shook her head and reached for the cup.

She settled back against the seat and watched as he buckled up and started the Jeep.

He looked up and found her eyes on him. "What?" He asked.

"We've never been in a car together before. How strange is that?"

He started the engine and stretched his arm behind her seat, as he backed the Jeep out of the parking space. "You've ridden in a space ship that I piloted in a different galaxy and you think this is strange?"

"You know what I mean. You've never been to my house either, that's strange." Her eyes rolled, but she was smiling. "Turn right out of the parking lot."

John turned right and they were immediately stopped at a red light. "I know where I'm going. I've never been in your house, but I've been there." He picked up his own coffee cup and took a sip.

"When have you been to my house?"

"Do you really think I would have gone to visit your mother without trying to catch you at your house first?" He put the cup down as the light turned. "And I know Dave or Suzanne have probably told you I went to see her."

Elizabeth sipped her coffee. When she'd returned to Earth, she and John were both still recovering from what had happened to her, neither was thinking rationally. Still, it was hard to believe they'd let a whole year slip away. She knew he was leaving tomorrow and she didn't want or expect any promises about the future, but she knew it would be different this time. They didn't have to be together to be a part of each other and somehow she knew that would never change.

"So you're really selling your house?" John glanced at her when they stopped at the next light.

She nodded her head to the side. "Yes. It feels a little unsettling, though, the idea of not having a permanent address."

"I know the feeling." John reached out and his hand grasped her leg. "You're in good company."

It was less than a five minute drive to her brownstone and he didn't let go of her until they arrived. He managed to snag a spot on the street just outside. He exited quickly and was opening her car door before she'd even gathered her coffee and messenger bag. They made their way across the sidewalk and up the stairs to her porch.

From the outside, her house already seemed empty. All of her porch furniture and plants had been given away and a layer of dust rested upon the bay window. John took her coffee while she fished the keys out of her bag and unlocked the door.

"Your place is different from what I expected." John passed back her coffee as they stepped inside.

"What did you expect?" She moved deeper into the room and switched on the overhead light.

His eyes panned the room that was empty save for two bookshelves, an armchair and four partially filled boxes. "More furniture, to start."

Elizabeth smiled. She headed towards the kitchen island and put down her things. He was probably already wondering if she still had a bed, which unfortunately, she did not.

"I've been paring down ever since I got back from Atlantis. I donated the furniture to a charity that works to transition the homeless back to permanent housing. They are picking up the chair and bookshelves in..." She pulled up John's wrist and glanced at his watch. "About thirty minutes."

"That sounds like a great cause, but why are you giving everything away?"

She paused for a moment. She knew it probably seemed a little dramatic, but it was a decision she'd made after careful consideration. It hadn't been easy to explain to her mother, but she thought maybe John would understand."

"Nothing seemed right when I came back. Not this house, the furniture. Not the job or the clothes." Elizabeth rested against the island and twirled a strand of hair. "I just wanted to start fresh."

John's eyes scanned the room again. "Do you miss any of it? Seems like the counselors usually recommend that you don't make any rash changes when you are still…transitioning."

Transitioning was a nice word for it. But the fact he even broached the subject caught her by surprise.

"How did you know I was still seeing the psychologist?"

"Standard procedure after what you went through. They forced me through it after Afghanistan."

"Oh…" Her voice was soft and she'd intended to say more, but he didn't like to talk about Afghanistan and she didn't want to push him today.

"You said still. You're still seeing the psychologist?" John's eyes pressed shut and his hand washed over his face. Her heart skipped a beat when he looked at her again, his eyes were alight with a fierce mix of emotions she normally only saw when he was holding himself accountable for things he shouldn't be.

"John, I'm fine."

He swallowed hard and the veins on his neck pulsed. His head tilted and she could read in his eyes that he already knew better. He didn't say anything. He just watched her and waited, silently prompting her to continue.

"All right. So I wasn't fine in the beginning, but I'm better now. You know I wouldn't have been cleared to go to the Middle East otherwise."

"I should have been there for you." He closed the gap between them and his hands ran down the sides of her flannel shirt.

"You're here now."

He nudged her nose with his own and she let all thoughts of psychologists fall away. She instinctively tilted her head and her mouth parted on its own accord. A second later his lips still hadn't brushed hers and her eyes flashed open. He'd been waiting for her to open her eyes and the look in his eyes shook her to the core, jarring the final bits of resistance from heart.

It was like flipping a switch, like the universe had finally realigned, allowing her to tap back into the raw and powerful connection that had evolved back on Atlantis once they'd managed to shed all the barriers between them. From the moment their lips had first brushed on her balcony, it hadn't taken them long to push beyond the storm of love and desire, catapulting them into something that transcended anything she could ever hope to explain. At the time, it had overwhelmed her, challenged everything she'd ever held to be true and it had awakened parts of her she didn't know existed.

Now, the look within his eyes stirred her soul from slumber and gave her a clarity she didn't remember ever grasping before. Tomorrow would come and go. The world wouldn't stop when he returned to Atlantis. And no matter what road lay ahead for them, she finally understood that John would always be a part of her. Pieces of him would always remain in her heart and her soul, just as she knew pieces of hers would remain with him.

Their noses brushed again as she tilted her head the other way, trying to blink away the moisture that had sprung to her eyes. His hands came up now to cup her face and he held her forehead to his for a long moment before he readjusted and lightly grazed her lips with his own.

The doorbell rang and John stepped back. He cupped her chin. "We'll continue that conversation later."

Unsurprisingly, their most important conversations never required actual words.

Elizabeth wiped her eyes and started for the door. "Can you start throwing books in the boxes? They are earlier than I expected."

She pulled open the door and groaned internally. This charity happened to have a lot of military volunteers. Of course the men they'd sent to pick up her furniture were in full Army camo.

"Lieutenants." John greeted them and threw a pointed look at Elizabeth.

"Did you know there are a lot of military vets in the homeless population?" It was true, but the words slipped out before she could stop them. It was the very reason she'd gotten involved, but it wasn't something she wanted to get into with John right now.

John's expression turned thoughtful. He reached out to shake their hands. "Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard, pleasure to meet you. Thanks for helping out today."

Twenty minutes later the books and mementos had been cleared from the shelves and the furniture was loaded in the truck. She waved as the truck pulled away from the curb and went back inside. John was finishing stowing the loose items in boxes and Elizabeth went upstairs to make a final sweep of the bedrooms.

Fifteen minutes later, she went back downstairs with an odd assortment of clothing and randomness in her arms. John was leaning against the kitchen counter and her heart seized when she saw him flipping through a thickly bound report packet. She glanced at his face and her breath caught. Her arms went limp and everything she was holding fell to the floor.

John heard the crash and he cast his eyes towards her. It was the same look on his face when he found out they'd lost someone back on Atlantis, a heart wrenching mixture of guilt and regret.

"Sixty thousand? There are sixty thousand homeless veterans?" He held up the report binder. "These names, is this for real?"

Elizabeth nodded and quietly moved towards him.

"I know some of them. These two were under my command on Atlantis." John's finger ran down a list of names in the appendix of the report. "I served with this guy in Afghanistan and, this one, he was also a Lieutenant Colonel in the Air Force. I never met him, but I've heard of him. How is this possible, Elizabeth?"

She reached for him and he flinched. Her eyes darted towards the ceiling and she took a deep breath. It had been a long time since she'd seen him in such a state and there was only one way to get him through it. As difficult as it was, all she could do was give him space and time to sort through it.

"Some suffered PTSD, it made it difficult for them to hold jobs after their military discharge. Some had injuries that left them with physical limitations. Some are underemployed." Elizabeth paused, wondering how much he'd want to hear right now. "I've met that Lieutenant Colonel. He's on full military pension, but he's getting divorced and all his money is going to his son's college tuition. He's been crashing on his friends couches, somewhere different every week."

"These are our guys." His voice was anguished. "They risked their lives and they ended up homeless?"

"Some are just…fragile. They might be an auto-repair bill away from the street. Some don't understand how to tap into the available resources and many are too proud to ask."

Elizabeth hadn't even told Dave and Suzanne she'd been working on a funding proposal for programs to help military vets, she hadn't for this very reason. John had always been fiercely protective of those he served with and always held himself personally responsible when something went wrong. That didn't stop for him once they left the battlefield. She'd known all along how he'd react once he found out how bad the situation really was for some of the veterans. It was probably just as well he didn't know the funding request had been denied. The timing of it all was actually just a bit uncanny.

John held the paper back up and his finger trailed down the list of names. "You didn't just go to visit my family, did you?"

Elizabeth didn't answer.

"You went to see them all."

She sighed softly. "Not all. I did visit a few families of those we…lost."

His brow raised towards her, he knew she was holding back.

Elizabeth diverted her eyes. "When I first got back, what I was going through was difficult. It made me wonder how the rest of our team who had returned over the years were doing. I haven't seen them all. I was out of pocket a lot when I was in the Middle East, but as I've been able, I've been following up."

John pointed at her funding proposal. "This is what you're going to do with the foundation, isn't it?"

She turned her eyes back to his. "Yes."

John flipped back several pages in the packet. "This networking lunch every month, the one that connects military veterans with hiring directors at local companies…you set that up?"

"It was the least I could do. I might not have the resources of your family, but I have a lot of contacts in the area. They keep it running when I'm not in town. There is so much more I'll be able to do now. The West Coast has greater need for assistance, California alone has twenty thousand homeless veterans."

"When you left Atlantis, I thought…"

He didn't have to finish, she knew. He thought she didn't care about him or about their crew.

"And you've been back here trying to take care of them all."

"Most of them are doing a good job taking care of themselves. I'm just trying to keep the rest from slipping through the cracks."

"Sixty thousand." John repeated. He dropped the report binder on the island and his hand scrubbed down the back of his neck.

She had to keep halting her footsteps, it was so hard to not wrap her arms around him, but John didn't like to share his pain. If they'd been on Atlantis, this would be about the time he escaped for a run. As if on cue, he started pacing the floor.

"Why don't you go for a walk? Get some fresh air while I finish packing up."

John strode towards the door and pulled it open.

"Wait." Elizabeth dashed after him. She hadn't expected him to jump that quickly at her suggestion. "Give me your keys. Call me if you end up too far away and I'll come pick you up."

He dug the keys out of his pocket and passed them back. He took another step and she rolled her eyes in exasperation.

"John, wait."

He was avoiding her eyes, so she pressed her chest against his back and wrapped her arms around him. He didn't pull away and she held on longer than she'd intended, resting her head against his back. A long moment later he shifted and she loosened her grip.

"Thank you for being you and for what you're doing for them." His body was tense, but he pulled her hand to his mouth and kissed it gently. "I need to be part of this somehow."

"I'd like that." She'd love that actually, love to be working alongside him again.

He kissed her hand again and released it. "I just need some time to…process all of this."

"I know." She pressed a kiss into his shoulder and she stepped back, watching as he walked away.

She sat down on the top step, her eyes tracked him until he turned and headed west. Either he knew his way around her neighborhood better than she thought or it was just dumb luck that he headed directly for the path along the canal. She pulled out her phone from her jeans pocket and checked the time. It was unseasonably warm for D.C. at this time of year and the sun was shining brightly. He'd probably be gone longer than a few minutes once he hit the water trail and she did owe him a meal. She punched the speed dial on her cell phone. If nothing else, Chinese delivery would give him another opportunity to poke fun of her cooking skills, that was guaranteed to bring a smile to his face.

An hour later, the delivery driver pulled away just as John strode back into view. She blew out a slow breath. He'd taken even longer than she'd anticipated and it had been starting to worry her. She put the food bag on the top of the steps and sat down to wait. As he drew closer, she could see that one arm was tucked behind his back and her eyes narrowed. He trotted up the steps and sat down two steps below her. He swiveled sideways and rested his elbow on her knee. He pulled his other hand up and handed her a bouquet of white roses.

"Hey." She took the roses and deeply inhaled. "What are these for? They're beautiful."

"Not as beautiful as you." John peered up at her through his lashes and her heart fluttered. "I've never been able to bring you flowers, it was overdue. Plus, when I was walking and thinking everything over, I started feeling bad for having teased you about men in uniforms."

"There is one man in uniform I'm quite fond of, but I must admit, it's more fun when he's not wearing it."

"Elizabeth."

Her toes almost curled from the way he breathed her name. His eyes sparked, finally burning through the dim that had settled in when he'd read her funding proposal. Her skin seemed to warm in response to his heated gaze, though she shouldn't have been surprised it had only taken seconds to end back up in the clutches of anticipation.

"I've never had white roses before." She finally managed.

John glanced down at them. "They made me think of a blank canvas. It seemed fitting somehow."

Since she'd left Atlantis, her world had become a blank canvas, but the palette had never seemed quite so rich until this weekend.

"They're perfect."

Their eyes lingered again and Elizabeth had to remind herself to breathe. The wind blew softly, carrying with it the savory aroma of their food.

"Hungry?" She nodded towards the bag and was rewarded with John's wide smile.

"Delivery?"

"Of course. You pointed out I owed you some meals." She moved the bag between them and started pulling cartons out. The sun was bright and warming, it would be nicer eating out here than inside the empty shell of her house.

John handed her a bottle of water and picked up a container. He started eating while she sorted through the rest of the cartons until she found her favorite. She took a bite and savored the rich heat of the sauce.

"Looks like you're enjoying that." John moved up to sit beside her.

She held out her carton. "Want to try it?"

He ignored the carton and he leaned into her. Her mouth opened with a gasp of surprise when his lips crashed into hers. The bold caress of his tongue was like Novocaine to her brain. He pulled away a moment later while she stared dumbly at him, trying to remember what she'd been doing in the first place.

"That was good." John licked his lips.

"Szechwan sauce." Her voice was raspy.

"I wasn't talking about the food."

"Oh..." She realized she was leaning back towards him and quickly straightened.

John opened another container and kept shoveling food in his mouth. She took another bite, knowing her body needed fuel, but her appetite for food had waned. He glanced back at her and did a double take, undoubtedly seeing the hungry look in her eyes.

He wiped his mouth and tugged something from his back pocket. He held up a flat box wrapped in Christmas paper. "I got something else for you."

She eyed him carefully, but put down her food and accepted the box. "It has Christmas wrapping paper, should I save it?"

"No, open it. I have an idea for later today."

She had a lot of ideas about later that day, but she gingerly tore into the paper. She pried open the box and was delighted to find a Christmas tree ornament with the year dated on it. "I love this."

Her heart fell a moment later as she remembered he wouldn't be here for Christmas to hang it on the tree with her. They'd never had a Christmas tree to decorate together. He must has seen the flicker of sadness in her eyes because he reached out and took her hand. His fingers laced with hers and he pulled her hand up, brushing her knuckles with his lips.

He brought their laced hands to his cheek. "Have you ever been on the east trail of the lake house? It goes up on the ridge and out onto the point?"

"No." That trail was too rocky for the horses. She'd seen it, but had never been up there.

"The Christmas after our infamous Thanksgiving dinner that Bunny wrecked, my dad brought us back to the lake house. He liked going to Aspen to ski over the holidays, but he was still trying to make things right with my mother after his blow up. He knew she liked Christmas more low key, she was never a big fan of the Aspen scene. Anyway, he took us for a walk and let us pick out a Christmas tree. He hacked it down Clark Griswold style. It wasn't pretty, but we loved that tree."

Elizabeth smiled. It was probably the first childhood memory he'd ever shared where all the members of his household had seemed happy.

"It ended up being a pretty decent Christmas. The next spring, my dad had a section of the ridge cleared, it was mostly low laying brush. He had it planted with pine trees."

Her eyes stretched. "You have your own Christmas tree farm?"

"It's not even an acre, not anything near a farm, but it's still pretty cool. We didn't get out to the lake house every year for Christmas, but we'd have one replanted every time we did cut one down."

Elizabeth decided at that moment, wherever she ended up buying property there needed to be room for her very own grove of Christmas trees. That had to be one of the best family traditions she'd ever heard.

"Want to put up a Christmas tree today?"

"Hmm?" His words slowly sank in and, yes, she absolutely wanted to put up a Christmas tree. "Really?"

He chuckled at her delight. "Really. That's something else we've never been able to do. Maybe we should start checking things off a list and make sure we get caught up." He released her hand and picked back up a carton of food.

"But I won't be there all season. I'm going to travel a bit." Elizabeth bit down on her lip. It would have been nice.

"There is a housekeeper, she can refill the water for the tree. It'll be fine. Plus, you don't want to come home at the holidays and not have one up."

Not again, she thought. Her gloomy Christmas last year was what prompted the initial stages of cleaning out her house.

"All right then. Let's put up a tree." She was probably grinning like a little kid, but she couldn't help it. She loved the holidays and the thought of getting a taste of Christmas with John made her heart sing.

John nodded at the food. "Finish up. I'm ready to get out of here, how about you?"

She took another bite and nodded. She was ready to say goodbye to this town, even if it did mean giving up her favorite Chinese delivery place. She glanced at the flowers as she chewed. It wasn't just her world, her life was a blank canvas and never had that thought seemed so enticing before.

~TBD

A/N:

The statistics I used in this story on homeless veterans were from 2012, but it was the best report I found so I used it. The numbers may have changed, but I was still staggered by the amount. It really was actually 20,000 in California alone and there was, is, a Lieutenant Colonel retired from the Air Force who was going through a divorce, putting his kids through college on his military pension and crashing on his friends couches. Google should easily return all those in search results if you wanted to read more.

I know there was a lot of heavy, but I hope you enjoyed. Thanks for reading and for all of you who are so kind to take the time to review. Not sure when the next chapter will post, it's outlined but not written, so we'll see how it goes now that the insanity of the holiday season is upon us. Sign up for story alerts if you'd like to know when the next chapter posts.